Bad joke of the day 2020

This is an old one, but I don't know if it's ever been posted previously....

In the case of an earthquake hitting Las Vegas, be sure to go straight to the keno lounge. Nothing ever gets hit there.

 

Every woman's wish.

 

A man walks in a bar and orders
two hurricanes and a Corona.
The bartender says, "$20.20".

 

in the restroom at ABIA:

 

I got fired from the Bank. A lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over .

 

Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder."
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her pocketbook, took a measurement, announced, "Twenty one feet, six inches," and walked away.
One engineer shook his head and laughed, "A lot of good that does us. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
Both engineers have since quit their engineering jobs and are currently serving as elected members of congress.

 

A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’ll have a………… pint of beer please.”
The bartender asks, “Why the big pause?”
The bear replies, “Well, I’ve always had em!”