Bad joke of the day 2020

A woman meets a man in a bar.They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together…They get back to his place and as he shows her around his apartment she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears.

There are three shelves in the bedroom with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall. It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display.

There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf. She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large collection of teddy Bears and was quite impressed by his sensitive side. They share a bottle of wine, continue talking and, after a while, she finds herself thinking, “Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one! Maybe he could be the future father of my children?” She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips. He responds warmly. They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other’s clothes and make hot, steamy love. She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known.

After an intense, explosive nigh of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying together in the afterglow. The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly, “Well, how was it?”

The guy gently smiles at her strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says, “Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf.”

 

Carnie knowledge!

RICHARD

 

Not a joke but a compilation from a series called Open All Hours, it starred the genius that is Ronnie Barker as the stuttering shopkeeper Arkwright. Probably would be frowned upon these days but it takes a skill to deliver lines like he does.

 

This is a British children's TV show from the 80's, this wasn't broadcast but it was a joke that was filmed to be shown at the Christmas party for the cast and crew. The quality isn't great but it's still funny and very innuendo laden.

 

Thanks for the directions!

I bet their souvenirs are pretty interesting...

 

Is it appropriate to call a person a "dick" while at work?

Asking for a friend.

 

It took you 9 minutes from dil's post. Busy much?

 

No, it's a boring Sunday of a three-day weekend, as in those weekends I used to look forward to!

 

OH. I remember
Those days so gone by
With a hearty hi ho what's his name.......
Awayyyyyyyyy!!!!!

 

Because hardly anyone has time to read their emails at work (business emails - of course we have time to read our personal emails) Some brilliant person came up with the slogan - Stall Street Journal - important flyers are posted at eye level when you squat down on the toilet (terlet for you yankees) This is currently posted

SNACK AND LEARN
COLOSTOMIES AND ILEOSTOMIES
SEPTEMBER 22 @1400

 

Is he a prick?

 

Beware of the gift bags, @Valgal!

RICHARD

 

What do they call the residents from there? Dildoians or Dildites or just Extreme Happiness-ites? The town, oddly enough is inhabited by mostly women, fyi!