Bad joke of the day 2020

This message was placed in a daily flyer at the nurses station:

To protect out patients and team, masks must be worn inside the hospital at all times. This is applicable to all shifts and does not include having them hang off your ear. Continued non-compliance will be addressed by your leadership team.

The hanging off your ear part made me lmao. And no — I am not one of the offenders.

 

Animals can be jealous too.

 

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.

Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.

Son: But Mom, I was sitting on Daddy's lap!

 

Early in my career as a school librarian, a group of boys at a back table were laughing at what I thought was obviously a dirty joke. It went on for too long and I told them to quiet down. They tried, but to no avail, so I put on my stern teacher face and started to talk when they informed me that they were just reading the newspaper. Sure, I thought. But the wanted me to come over to see. The is a copy from the Montesano Vidette sometime in the 1970s.

 

Wasn't that the concept @FormallyTD drew up for Oscar Mayer?

RICHARD

 

Saw this today on facebook

 

Proof That God Exists.

 

OMG!! That is freaking CRAZY!!

 

Reminds me that I once asked my hair stylist to make me look like George Clooney. In a perfect deadpan, she came back with "I'm a hair stylist, not a magician."

 

I can’t remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals.

I M LIVID