Bad joke of the day 2020

Did you know that £186 million of tableware is stolen from restaurants each year. Items like soup spoons and small knives and forks are popular and that's just for starters.

 

I’d shake her hand!!!

 

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency. I think you should write, "An ambulance." ~ or “a good doctor”

 

There was a comic named Bob Zany who did a whole monologue on employments apps.

What position are you seeking? Doggy style.
Are you hard of hearing? What?
just two examples... was funny as heck.

 

It's like those commercials for drugs such as Lophartin. "Tell your doctor if you are allergic to any ingredient in Lophartin." Uh, isn't that what the doctor is supposed to tell you?

 

Could cause dementia or sudden death. Yes, by God, gimme two of those!

 

For those of you not familiar with the Villages just about 40 miles north of Orlando, this is significant. The community is composed of senior citizens.
The riots in major cities across the U.S. has spread to The Villages, Florida, a retirement community of 100,000.

Looters in Florida’s friendliest hometown have especially broken into stores that sell items like laxatives, vitamins, hearing aids, reading glasses, energy drinks and surgical stockings.
The thugs were easily caught and arrested since they were using their walkers and scooters to flee.

The protests have been limited to the evening hours because most of the lawbreakers either had doctor’s appointments during the day or rioting would have interfered with their naps.
The marches didn’t last that long because many of the demonstrators had to get home to pee. In many cases, the demonstrators simply forgot why they were even there.

Officials considered a curfew starting at 9 p.m. but since that’s the time when most of the residents go to bed anyway, it was decided that it wasn’t needed.

Community leaders concluded that part of the problem was that residents were restless because they had too much time on their hands since the recreation centers, pools, theaters, boutique stores and especially the bars were closed due to the corona virus.

Community officials wanted to form a committee to look further into the problem, but the next day no one could remember why they needed a committee.

 

Who cares if I don't know what Armageddon means, it's not the end of the world is it.

 

A man walked into a bar in Louisiana and ordered a Corona and two Hurricanes

Bartender says that will be $20.20

 

Excellent! lol.