Table Games Trifecta of Craps Table Mutants

I've been shoulder-to-shoulder with my share of craps table weirdos in Indiana, New York, Vegas, and Mississippi and thought I'd seen it all. With this most recent trip to Vegas, I think --I hope-- I've seen it all. Bear with me if you have a couple of minutes to kill. From least weird to most weird...

3) Jittery Jibber-Jabber New Age Politeness Freak With Poor Etiquette - Flamingo
This was a very nice guy who said lots of nice, positive things. He wouldn't stop! He talked about bringing the positive energy to the table. He bought in after the point during my hand. I don't care from a superstition standpoint but I'm not a fan of people slowing the game down, especially for a $15 buy-in. After the 7-out he apologized for buying in during the middle of the roll because it's rude. THEN WHY DID YOU DO IT?

He wasn't a bad guy but he kept on babbling about the karma of the dice and other crazy crap.

2) I Ain't Superstitious (Like Hell I Ain't!) - 4 Queens
I hit it off well with this guy... until I picked up my $10 odds during his hand in order to place them in the field (point of 6 and he kept rolling outside numbers). I was down to my last $15 and figured I'd bet on the numbers he was making. Oh my. Before I could put the chip in the field, he started out with a diatribe about disrespect and "now it's dirty money." He was HOT. I normally ignore everything but he showed no signs of shutting up so I mouthed off a bit back to him.

"Why are you worried about my money? When you pay for my chips you can do whatever you want with them. You gonna shoot or talk?" After his rant about how I just screwed the whole table, he threw another field roll, made the point, then rolled 2 consecutive 11's on the come out. He settled down...

...until an older guy at the table asked him if he was [insert name here]. Oh good grief, that set him off. He went off on the old guy with a diatribe of "just because we're both black" and yada yada yada. He promptly 7'd out and screamed "See what you did??? You made me lose all my bet!!!"

1) I'll See Your Jailhouse Lawyer and Raise You A Craps Table Investment Wizard - Planet Hollywood
Lots of unsolicited advice. You can't make money on the DP. You should always bet the outside. If you [insert Rube Goldberg betting strategy here] you make a fortune. You shouldn't be betting this. It's a bad idea to bet that. It's been X number of rolls since a Y was thrown, you're stupid not to hop it now. "I've been at this table for 5 hours, bro. I've got it strategized" (yes, he said that). And on and on and on and on and on for 2 hours.

But wait! There's more!!!
This guy had 2 red chips in his hand and never placed a single bet. Not once.

Call within the next 15 minutes and we'll throw in another FREE!!!!
He kept telling people to make sure the dice hit the back wall. Why? Because the magnet is by the wall and if they don't bounce off hard enough, they'll be trapped. There's a little grouping of lights to the stick's left on the felt that they use to track rolls and so on and the stickman uses the stick to reset it or whatever he does. However, Our Hero thinks that's how they activate the magnet. I pointed to my suitcase under the table and told him I had a demagnetizer in it, so we should be OK. He looked at me like *I* was the crazy one.

Act now, as supplies are limited!
The little jerk ordered drinks the whole time and never tipped the waitress.

 

Those are good ones. It's a good time to revive some craps character stories...

I had four all on the same trip at Palazzo a few years ago:

• A guy standing next to me who wasn't playing, said he was a math professor at some college. He was writing down all the rolls and then after about 20 mins of this he starts predicting the probability of what the next roll would be. "80% chance it's a 5," etc. He was wrong almost every time, didn't even faze him, he just kept scribbling.
• Guy walks up to a $10 table and buys in for $50k, bets by turning his back to the table and throwing purple chips over his shoulder.
• Old grizzled dude in a wheelchair gets wheeled up to the table by, well, let's just say, think Leslie Chow, but about 15 years old. Or the kid in Boogie Nights who ran around the drug dealer's house lighting off firecrackers. Guy cleaned up playing the Don't, flashing a mostly toothless grin the whole time. More than that, I don't really want to know.
• Kinda drunk club kid walks up to the table next to my position with his mini-entourage and buys in for $200 or something and being the alpha, proceeds to lecture his group about how you should only play the Don't and there was one kid with him who was playing right, just betting Pass for the min. Don't kid wins his first few bets and he's berating his buddy really bad, and just being a classic "how not to be a Don't Player". Table's shooting him looks, dealers are shaking their heads, I'm kinda joking palling around with the kid cause I had a deep stack and I knew how it was gonna end. Tables turn, I'm telling the kid, "hang in there you'll be alright." Dice come to me and I felt him, and then unload on him and throw his buddy a green chip. His buddy bought in for $50 or something and colors up for a black. Table's laughing their asses off, kid just turns to me looking confused and exits.

 

These mutants are the folks I seek. I'm gonna' gamble- might as well be entertained as I do.

 

Nice. There's also a requirement at any table with more than 6 players that one of them must make a ridiculous amount of wild bets, complain that he didn't get paid properly, complain that bets were taken down when they should have been left up, and complain that bets were left up when they should've been taken down. All of this between EVERY ROLL.

And then he's required to complain if anyone else holds up the game for more than 2 seconds.

A guy tried to pull a fast one at the Flamingo. Stands at the table without betting. Someone throws a 12. He leans over to ask the dealer how much a room costs. As he leans over, he puts a stack of chips in the field. Got caught and complained that the dealers were rude.

I like them in small doses for short periods. Also, I was unable to sleep much at night and what little sleep I got wasn't very good. Wasn't in the best of moods.

 

What happened after he got caught? If he only had a scolding he was extremely lucky. What he did is called "past posting" and some casinos take this very seriously.

I was at the Fremont and saw someone do this. With only 1 red chip!. He was caught and escorted out of the casino after security and management recorded his ID and told him he is banned from play at this property. Not sure if the Fremont shared this incident and the ID with the other Boyd properties.

 

Was playing at GN and had someone stand beside me watching the game. He opened a sack and took out a tuna salad sandwich he had bought at ABC store and ate the whole stinky thing right there.

 

At the 4Q, new player buys in for $100 right next to a Don't player who just then got felted. In the chaotic flow of the game, Dealer quickly gives new guy his stack but puts it kinda in between him and Don't guy. New guy wasn't expecting it that soon and Don't guy picks it up walking away as natural as you can. New guy finally asks where his buy in before they figured it out. They scrambled and got Security involved. Not sure if they ever got Don't guy. New guy got another stack.

 

Playing at the D in January. 70 year old army vet settles in to my left as I'm shooting. A couple of rolls in, a chip fill arrives, and he comments, "why do they always do this in the middle of a good roll?". It was an ok, roll (not great), but he had no way of knowing. Of course, I seven while the boxman is counting the incoming chips.
Dice to the Vet, and he basically says, "I'm not shooting until the fill is done". Stick just waits him out. Finally, he tires of waiting, picks them up and rolls. Establishes a point and everyone makes their place bets, hardways, etc. Then he fires the dice with a sniper's precision, hard into the incoming stacks. Chips everywhere. He glances over and gives me a sly wink while he drinks in the mayhem. Had a fun time chatting with him, but I've never been more happy to not be a dealer...

 

At the Cal there is a Hawaii guy. He must come often because I see him pretty regularly although I haven't seen him in the past year. When it's his time to shoot he sets the dice. Then like a shaman he puts out one hand like he is shaking someone's hand and says "kahuna, kahuna, kahuna" (I guess for good luck) and then he picks up the dice and throws it. yeah, yeah, it is a little irritating because he takes so long to go through the ritual but one time I was there and he and some other players were playing the hop.....and hitting them! I stuck around and won money and because he was taking so long I also got a comped meal even though I wasn't gambling that much or was there that long. I wonder how they would rate him for the golden arm club because he took so long to shoot.

Last month I was playing at the crap table at the Cal. Table was mostly empty, only had about 3 people on the other side of the table and only me on my side. All of a sudden a scruffy looking guy comes up right next to me. I was the only one on that side so it was extremely noticeable to everyone. Guy starts to make comments and tells me put bets down or double my bets and when I won he clapped and said "see, I told you so". By this time I was getting freaked out and I was putting my chips in my pocket so he didn't ask for a handout or steal my chips. The pit crew just looked at him but didn't say anything so a few rolls later the shooter crapped out. Even though I was next to throw I picked up my chips and took off as quickly as I could hoping the guy wouldn't follow me to the cashier. Actually I wanted to leave the table because I wanted to drive to Henderson so it was a good excuse to get out of there.

A couple of years ago I was at the Fremont. There were 2 guys playing on the table at 7:30 in the morning. 1 guy was shooting but they were both playing the don't. But counter was already up at 15 so I watched him shoot a few more times and put down money because he was throwing some good numbers. It was funny because the guy hit his point a few times but still they were playing the don't. His friend finally ran out of money and stopped playing. After the shooter hit another point I told the shooter that maybe he should play the plus side since he was hitting the numbers and hitting his point. He said that usually he wins money playing the don't but I told him not today. He was down to his last chips (and he was shooting!) and he finally switched over to the plus side when the counter was at 32. He had another 15 more rolls and finally he started to win money (his friend was tapped out). At the end of his roll they gave him a receipt for a free t shirt since he had over 45 rolls and he was happy with that. Me? I did fairly well, got a comped breakfast for my troubles and made up for all my previous losses for my trip.

 

Don't do what Donny Don't does.

 

I've played my fair share of craps over the past several years and I can't think of any one standout character. Lots of drunks, lots of people buying in 5 figures and still not knowing what they are doing lol. I've had some good times with drunks getting on crazy hot streaks......my pet peeves at the table are crabby dealers or people putting their hands down in the table when the dice are out - that shit drives me crazy.

 

I learned dice about 30 years ago. Especially back then they didn't think a female had a clue on how to play. I was so nervous the first few times I had to have a few Scotch/rocks just to go up to the table. I looked a bit scared so guys kept trying to tell me how to play. I knew how, I was just scared to have that much money out on a roll. While I appreciated their concern, after a few times I was over it and wanted them to just shut up. I normally stick to place and come bets other than an occasional two way hard way. Still, many still feel they have to "school" me on how to play or what to play, even now. On the flip side, I'm not a young chick anymore, so often young kids watching the table think I'm there to teach them. I cannot count the number of times I'm playing at table full of men and some pimply 21 year old comes up to me and starts asking me questions. I try to be polite, but I'm not your mama and I'd be happy to give you some pointers AFTER I leave the table. Don't mess with my concentration. Depending on the circumstances, I may have several bets out and want to know what's happening. It's not the craps romper room, this is live and there are no do overs.

If someone is interested in the game there are so many resources on the web. Why do they wait until they are in a casino to figure it out? That wasn't an option for me. I read books and rented videos (VHS of course) from Blockbuster!

And speaking of dealers. I'm always surprised when I'm standing a foot away from a table, cash and card in hand, waiting for a roll to end. Very often I'm asked (usually by the stickman) if I want to buy in. Well, Mr. Stickman, I will do so when this roll is over. Shouldn't THEY know the proper etiquette? I guess they just want to get the table hopping, but I'm not jumping in on someone's roll.

 

Actually the stick people don't care when you buy in, if you are there they will accommodate you even if it is in the middle of the roll. As long as you aren't throwing your money or asking for bets when the shooter has the dice. The box people won't count your bet if the shooter is ready to roll. You have to hear them say "that's a bet" or else your bet won't count.

 

Should like the member on this board that brags about doing this.
Did he start cheering like he was playing when the waitress came around?

 

Two guys come to mind, one I liked and one who was mildly annoying. First guy was a giant Samoan shooting at the Golden Gate one night. The man was about 6' 7" and 500 pounds and was shooting. He didn't hit the back wall once and they said something to him. He hit the back wall next roll, but hit almost every chip stacked with his roll and smiled at the stick man. Next roll didn't hit the wall, he was warned and very next roll hit the chips again. This time, the dealers are a little more forceful and he just stands there staring at them. Everyone at the table was thinking the same thing: "No way this place has enough security to make this guy leave." He setttled down and everything proceeded fine. But I would have liked to see how it played out.

Second guy was this March at Cromwell. Nice enough guy, very positive. He was a little crunchy, definitely could have been from Portland or something. He is standing next to me and every time there a new shooter he looks at me and says, "Where are you?" and points to the box where're they put your place bets. I tell him the one I think is mine but say, "They (the dealers) know where I am" just trying to get him to quit asking. But he's asking just about every new shooter. It's a hot table so it's just mildly annoying but for the rest of the trip our group kept asking each other "Where are you?"

 

Crunchy?

 

He was a little hippy-ish. But like new hippy, not actual hippies.

 

Being a relatively new craps player I don't have too many war stories but there was one "incident" at the Cromwell in march this year.

Friday night and the table is busy but there's a lot of looky loos just hanging round. There was space at the table if someone wanted to elbow in. This big and tall black man (over 6" and easily 300lbs) comes over to the table and starts making noise about no room. He very loudly shouts "pit boss I want to play make me some room" the pit boss tells him there's room he just has to pick a spot. He's not happy but while this is going on the shooter at the other end sevens out and the guy next to me leaves the table. The pit boss asks the people standing behind if they mind this guy stepping in. They all have no issue so loud mouth steps up to the table and puts down $10 and asks for chips (it was $10 min at that time). He then bets don't and is gone in less than 5 minutes. As he was leaving he shouted "this table is racist".

I'm convinced it was all a wind up. But he did make it uncomfortable which cleared out the onlookers and I was finally able to get a drink.

 

Told him to GTFO and that was it. From what I could tell, he's some local idiot that does stupid things from time to time. More of a nuisance than a threat.

 

He was acting as if he lived and died by every roll. He wasn't faking for the waitress, either. He was telling whoever was beside him how to bet. "What was the roll??? What number?? Four? [to guy next to him] "That's why you play the field. I'm trying to make you some money." An all-around buffoon.