@Catzilla, I'm so sorry about Fiona. Losing a beloved pet is such a hardship. The grieving is real. Know the you gave her the best life possible.
Thanks, @booker . You know how I am with my cats, so I'll tell you, this one stings. I took Fi in 3 weeks ago and was told she's good, come back in July for a dental. So I went home. Three office calls, two ultrasounds, lab work and x-rays later, my little girl is gone. And I'm filled with a lot of grief and remorse for giving her treatment that caused her pain and should not have happened. I swear, sometimes I can hardly breathe.
@Catzilla, please don't beat yourself up. I know that you were amazing for her. Okay, not to get too sentimental or maudlin, but two days ago I transplanted plants onto my Bootsie's grave. She live a few years or so after her stroke, and while she was an average looking cat, she stole my heart. She adored me and I her.
I remember Bootsie. Colette said there are no ordinary cats. Bootsie was quite special. I understand that a few bad days don't take away from the wonderful life Fiona had, it just takes a while for the memory of those bad days to get pushed aside.