A fuzzy trip report from December

Finally got the wife to agree to another trip this January—we usually go in December, but due to her late October surgery she said we’ll delay till after the holidays---never got to write a trip report from last December, but here are my memories……I think….

Flight delayed Sunday AM due to de-icing at Akron-Canton airport, so we missed our connecting flight in Denver. Instead of meatloaf at Spagos for lunch, I’m eating bad Chinese at the Denver airport after being told there are 80 people for 32 seats and we might be spending…… the….night…..nooooooo —but thanx to our last name starting with a “C†we got the next flight out-----yaaaay…..my first stroke of good luck……..

Upgrade to Spa room at NYNY for 20 bucks a night….yaaaaay…..what the hell…

Late lunch at Spago’s……..meatloaf was worth the trip……..

Wife at spa Monday AM while I worked on my shotglass collection zipping in and out of Mandalay, Luxor, Excalibur, Monte Carlo (pant, pant, pant)……lunch at Commanders Palace……wife got plowed on .25 cent martinis….should go back to room, but had to go shopping……

Slept through Penn and Teller……

First visit to Wynn…..place left me cold….saw Avenue Q…….puppets fornicating……I need a drink…..

Horseback riding at Red Rock Canyon……horse didn’t like me…..he peed twice, our guide went once…….Had a blast, but I really need a drink after that…..

Four hours at the $3 BJ table at Four Queens…..got my $29 worth of Mich Ultra….

Lunch at Delmonico…..glad I didn’t have to pay dinner prices……

First time playing craps---- little intimidating-----everybody is friendly and the dealers are helpful---what a fun game---this is so easy…..look how easy it is to win….wait a minute……I was up…..where did my chips go??????

Lunch at Peppermill…..I’m still finding corn beef between my teeth from the Reuben sandwich that had its own zip code…loved the place, must go back….

Cowboy Christmas at Convention center…..lotsa tight butts in tight jeans….and you should see the women….my wife’s head was spinning…..I ain’t quittin on me…..

Hooker walks past me while I’m taking a break at the nickel slots late at night…..Honey don’t waste your money on that machine…..Why, so I can waste it on you?

Another Hooker while I’m killing the “I Spy†slot machine even later…..Lets get a limo and go party……Honey , look at me. I’m sitting at a 25 cent slot machine…..do you really think I’m gonna do that with you….(but she was kinda cute)

Paris breakfast Buffett……my intestines would like to have a talk with me….

Ethel M’s Chocolate factory……A diabetic nightmare…..

Porn baseball cards for all my friends back home……

Free show tickets????Really???? And all I have to do is spend six hours with you????

Hot Lesbians shooting craps for 45 minutes at the Palms…..every time she’d roll, they would kiss…..45 minutes of rolling, chips flying everywhere…..good cocktail waitress…..we must be in heaven, man…..

The Excalibur casino is a labyrinth…I can’t find my way outta here…..EVER……where is the damn door??????

Pai Gow poker for the first time downtown…..getting my butt handed to me…..I say something to dealer about this is supposed to be a push game….he shrugs his shoulders and says “It normally is, youave bad ruckâ€

A lot more people here than previous Decembers…..damn Katrina…..

That’s about all I can remember, but the four days there were very Ferris Beuller-like….we packed a lot in…..this trip will have more down time since by the end of the trip I was dragging her around like “Weekend at Berniesâ€

Time share guys here I come…..must not make eye contact……..yaaaaay……

 

Thanks for the trip report, I loved it.

 

Very funny report. Thanks for the laughs. Hot lesbians kissing at a craps table - it just doesn't get any better than that!!

LMAO - Unfortunately, I've been sucked in too many times & know exactly what you're talking about.

 

The Palms is my favorite place to play craps... If its not hot chicks, its famous people that are there as well...

Love the report!

 

ha! you played a game of dodge-the-timeshare-guys!

 

You've just got to tell them that your flight leaves in a few hours and they'll leave you alone. They are worse than used car salesmen!

 

I always say im a student and I make $500 a year

 

I tell em I'm in bankruptcy. Works every time. Great TR by the way.

David

 

...especially when you've got your two favorite "Andrea's" with you...

 

I can't stop laughing!