A Drunk-n-Degenerate B-Day in Vegas! Live TR Starring Gaggles, Beejay, Macker & Borat

You are live with the Bday boy, Macker and LA. We are run down and about to run out of town. Feel awful, caught a cold. Up for trip but should be up $2000 instead of $500. Was going for the big score and got killed! Only 1 quad on dollars! Twenty hours of sleep in four nights! LA is a bad influence!

You will get a Gaggles version of some of this later. I couldn't get Internet access on phone for some reason!

 

Uh....you do realize that's Miss New Jersey TEEN?!?! Careful there.

 

ssst:

 

That merely adds to the Beejay lore!

 

im tight with Ice Tea from SVU, not an issue

 

Inspiring trip report, Bee Jay... You guys grab it by the throat and and don't let go (unless pearl necklace fluid causes your hands to slip of course...) Commend your discipline in not chasing...wish I had that kind of self-control...fatal "death spiral" at VP is no stranger to me or loving spouse...

My dream would be to see you guys out there sometime, but wife, cowardice and bankroll considerations will probably prevent that from happening.:wink I'll just have to keep living vicariously through the great reports from you, Macker, Gaggles, Borat and the crew...

 

Beatdown even at low limits continued last night. Down to $9 in daily allotment, pump final $5 bill into VP at Aria around 8pm.....would it be yet another early night? No free internet at caesars, will wrap report from airport late this afternoon.

Putting our final-day bankroll system to the test today. Dressing as KISS with drinks guitars and walking strip with no pants selling photo ops. We call it "Rock out with your Cock out".

 

Blond on elevator to octavious (ground floor)..."uh duh, is this going up?"

2 brunettes merciless laughter :evillaugh

 

LOL... Sounds like something my wife would say. Bless her heart.

 

Final INstallment (typed live from McCarren Popeye's--CUZ LIVE IS LIVE and the only "semi" is in Gaggles pants)poke:evillaugh

Monday morning, like the others, began fairly early as we verified we had all our items packed:

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And then checked out of Bellagio to a balance of $0.00 after application of express comps. This left a nice balance for a couple additional meals if needed.

Then we dropped everything off at the previously checked-in Octavious Tower room at Caesars Palace:











After unpacking at Caesars we stopped for a quick motorboating on our regular morning walk to the Encore to drop off the morning “delivery” in their oh so fancy washrooms.:





Again some nice hits on video poker at Encore and began to think “the worm had turned”. A quick stop into Palazzo verified it most certainly had not.
We completed the walk back via Venetian and decided to hit Bellagio Buffet for their Monday breakfast/lunch special of Hookers & Powdered Sugar Blow:



After the buffet, enjoyed in about half the time due to the kick-ass-ness of the Platinum long-line bypass, we hit Caesars Pool for basically the entire afternoon, from shortly after Noon until about 7pm:



There was the usual quality talent at the pool, however it was so mixed in with what I call “Chicago Heavy Coat Hotties” that it was almost a wash. As soon as you got worried about a pool Stifler from a bouncing brunette you would be “saved” as it were from being stuck in the pool by an order of cottage cheese ass attached to some long-time purveyor of fine buffets and other slutty whores who would do even the sickest things for a mere platter of Long John Silver’s Crunchies.

As the sun set on the pool and our hopes of starting a business giving pearl necklaces, we hit the showers and prepared for our evening plan to Rock our with our Cocks out at PF Changs. The Diamond card afforded us ZERO advantage from the fancy boy at the host stand and I blew some cash at the P.Ho bartops as we waited to be whisked past hot waitresses in desireable floor and outdoor sections to the upstairs of 30 year PF Changs veterans suffering the effects of so many free meals.

We enjoyed our smalk talk and the unique angle for people watching and barely noticed the super slow food delivery. Good Times. Light Wallets.
Finally with $249 in the ole wallet, a last stand after dinner was determined at Aria craps. We ventured forth across the bridge and through Crystals. An absolutely gorgeous night.

Continued losses were endured at video poker at Aria as the $15 limits were “too rich for my blood” according to Big Dog. He decided to try a Texas Hold Em game and I sat beside to watch and blew through my last $100, leaving only 4 singles and a $5 bill in my wallet. Done for the trip.

We while Big Dog took forever to decipher than damn Texas Hold Em, ole BeeeJay, like the truest of Degens, put in that last playable bill and push the DEAL button:



GET THE FUCK OUT!!!!! (TIGER UPPERCUT) Last F’ing STAND and the gods of VP dealt me the 6’s I’d been begging for ALL TRIP!!!!!

Reinvigorated at the prospect of add’l play we headed over to Cosmopolitan for craps with a quick stop over to make a couple extra bucks on some progressives and lose some on Rapid Roulette.

By the time we got to that Cosmo $10 craps table, I was down to my last $350. Bought in for $200 and things started slow. 7 out, 7 out. BeeeJay pressing, Big Dog pass line only to get the lay of the land. Then it started. Big Dog’s roll saw my down to $4 in blues and what I had on the layout but he hit 3 points and finally a hard 6 which gained me $90. Then the next roller Daryl hit for 2 points. He also bet a lot of "field" and was dubbed The Pasty Gangsta thereafter

And oh I forgot during Big Dog’s roll I was yelling that his wife said he was always good for a Hard 4. He wasn’t. He rolled snake eyes on that roll, just like he does at home in the bedroom. Lol.

Then it was BeeeJay’s roll. Back up near my start of $200. Oh a couple drinks in us and now the Carny bets did fly. I rolled.

I rolled.
Hard 6.
Missed carnys
Point 5. Made
Point 6 made.
Point 8 Made.
Point 9 made.
Point 6 made.
Hard 6.

All of a sudden I had 7’d out and had $600 in front of me.

Well of course I gave back about half on unproven rollers and an overbet cold streak by our group, but cashed out $300 and hit the bricks. Not a bad comeback being down to my last $5. This would allow me to return home without losing my budget at least, if barely.

Of course we had to walk through that blasted Bellagio and her siren song of progressive banks. I set my sights on Gaggles “Draw Poker” suggested bank with its $6,000 royal on dollars, but as we rounded past the lobby, I could see that royal was now offering a meager….$4,004. Yes someone had just beaten us to Gaggles money. Bastards!!!

So the next best stop had to be my old lucky $10 machine where I had hit the $4,000 quad earlier in the trip. Of course this machine was also of a pair where I had hit side-by-side simultaneous hand-pays on $5 in January 2010 on a trip with Gaggles. She couldn’t possibly let me down…right?

Just one more quad please my lady?

I can only afford to chase dollars now.

Ok what the hell, its almost 1am, lets try $2.



Queen’s AGAIN----Thank you.

Only $800, but a nice final hit of trip, quad Q’s at Bellagio on same machine I hit the quad Q’s for $4,000, and leaving me with a turnaround from $9 to $1,004 in the pocket over the past few hours. I was probably even happier about having had a great time and gotten some decent value and play in with my buddy Big Dog after two nights of wall to wall losing.

Back to the room, finally going to bed on a good night, we bid gambling for this trip adieu as our flights left the next day, I pondered the adventure this trip had been:



Wrapped up the trip the next day with another Encore walk and shart. A little $20 bill run up to $130 and then shot at that $2 Royal which of course teased with 4 but didn’t fill in. A final Bellagio buffet, and a few hours at the pool making sure our skills are sharp if we ever need to pick up Australian retirees or late-middle-aged plumpers.

So there was no big comeback, but it was a solid trip in the end. Returned with a nice chunk of original bankroll and minimal overall cost due to big wins in home practice and a nice initial head start. No regrets, beyond not hitting that f’ing $20k or $40k Royal!!!

Ron Jeremy sighting in Gate C.

Thanks for good reading and good luck to all in your own upcoming trips, looking forward to reading all your reports as I await my next adventure!!!

 

Nice nice comeback.

What I call a Lazarus... back from the dead.

11 short days and I'm all over Boner Deluxe!

 

Well I'm now convinced you are still human. A loss comes to all of us, usually to me on about 90 percent of my trips. Thanks for the memories and better luck on future trips my friend!

 

Seeing Ron Jeremy is a great talisman of luck for your next trip.... He has cast his pearls before both swine and the sweetest pork belly you can imagine...

Glad to hear how you managed the eroding luck with good times and camaraderie. You did get a few final hits to prove you can still do it - and to build on for the next time.

Sorry that your long absence from Vegas was met by such a choppy trip - but I hope it was still what you needed to recharge the batteries...

JZB

 

If I'm gonna lose big, at least it was nice to be up, and to log huge action almost all at Bellagio/Aria, my preferred props. Would have been better to have my Golden Gate action at Mgms but maybe they give me some huge freeplay next time.

STill love Cosmo despite no comps. $10 crapz with nicest crew, great cocktail, luxury environment. the design makes for some really fun people watching during club time even as u play.

In summary, would been nice to come home at my peak $, but then it would have been a 1 day trip. I do hate being on that badlosing pace with so many days left. budget discipline was key to disaster avoidance.

 

MGM, over 200k tier credits, all but maybe 40k from this trip, Platinum expired this month. Platinum was HUGE value with lines this weekend.

CET, 10 tier credits for 2012, all this trip. Couple hands at ballys, couple at flamingo using reel reward.

Intention to move all play to MGM pretty well met.

 

Maybe GG will give you one of their 2 new penthouse suites, that might be a fun night.

Nice of the gambling gods to give a little bit back at the end to keep you coming back for more.

 

Funny how they do that isn't it?

You think we can recreate this kinda shenanigans in The Big Apple?

 

4 Queens probably means something completely different there though....

 

Superb report, thanks for making the effort to post such detailed updates. Kept me entertained for several days.

What's that about the Diamond card not cutting the line at PF Chang's? Did you just get a miserable host or has there been a change of policy? A flash of the Diamond card usually results in seating at the next available table in my experience.

 

gay kid host with attitude