Deck The Halls With Hookers and Blow: BeeeJay's LIVE December Trip Report!!!!!

I'm usually in Vegas this week of December. Unfortunately work has put the keebosh on my 4th annual Dec trip. Instead I'm sitting in beautiful Jacksonville, FL at the Crowne Plaza Airport Hotel. Wish I could be in my favorite place and share a Maker's Mark (or any other kind of hooch) with you guys. Have a great trip!

 

We've heard that before lol, then the guy turned into Buffalo Bill

 

it rubs the lotion on its skin

 

I was gonna pack tonight but went to the movie instead. However at this point I can pretty much get that bag packed in less than 20 minutes.

I am in for Qua at least once or twice this trip no matter what!

We get in for $20 with the Diamond right?????

 

Don't spend all your TR credits on booze! We also gotta make them there Diamond Lounges regret our stay as well!

 

The day has arrived ........ lol

I hope any/all of you partaking in this adventure , has a grand time, the Cosmo treats you like royalty and with Royal Flushes , too !

Just a lil thought before you all head out .........click to enlarge evillaugh Have a marvelous time and will be watching for the updates on here and on FB

 

Photos (Mobile) have started to be uploaded along with comments to Facebook. Thanks Bee Jay, can't wait to see and hear more.

I made a special Facebook account just for this report, you're my only friend.

 

Let's Get this ParTAY STARTED RIGHT!!!!!!

Well the trip started in rough fashion.

Up at 6:30am. Went to bed at 8:30pm last night. A 4-hour battle between an Ambien-CR and Seany Sean Sean wanted to "go downstairs, watch sponge bob daddy" ensued. I probably got 5 solid hours once the other sick kids started piling in. 5 hours thank you California King. If we'd gotten the queen my wife wanted I'd be in the ER with 2 dislocated nuts right now. Those kids have sharp elbows and use them like Bill Laimbeer.

Anyway I waived goodbye to the crew and piled into my pre-ordered town car. What? No they sent me the super stretch at the same price. First win of the trip!



As we approached Midway I realized my flight left at 10:25 making it physically impossible for me to get a Big Mac. Result: McGriddle Gut Ache



Ouch.

And wouldn't a hot chick sit by me on the plane and never get up. Grrr.

To make it worse the headwind led to a 4 1/2 hour flight and the through flight was to Salt Lake City so 50 blond kids (with one dad) were crying like a bad Mumbai to Orlando nonstop nightmare.

Luckily I packed my trusty eBay purchased deck of Vivid Video playing cards ($2.39 plus $2.00 shipping--gently used).



Soon enough I arrived in Vegas and hopped the $59 house limo to Cesar Pa-La-CHA's winery, a quant little place INDEED! My first stop after the check-in where I was bestowed the long sought after Augustus Tower room was the gift shop for snacks:



yeah I used that sweet plastic bag they give you for filling my sink with ice. Great move. Those bags will be the last sign of humanity on earth.

After stocking the bar I decided I would read a bit and then go to my massage appt.

About 2 seconds later the few brain cells in my head with any sense of decorum lost their battle to the Nueron Army of Degeneracy. You know the ones Gary Loveman talks about--"When the fun stops?"

Pretty sure that greedy bastard actually thought he was doing a commercial about running out of hookers and blow and they spliced it in for public service.

So I moseyed on down to what is left of this crumbling casino and couldn't find much besides the high limit room. I dropped a few hundos into an old friend.....HEY ISN"T THAT QUAD 10's if you count the bottom one?!???!



I thought better of that crap fairly quickly as I calculated the effect on my blood pressure of a retirement eating sodium-heavy Alpo.

I dialed 'er down a notch to $2 over in a nearby 3rd world hallway with about a 6 foot 7 inch ceiling. I only had about 5 minutes and agreed with myself to leave at 3pm for my 3:30 massage as I needed to go to my room and get my speedo.

Let's get this beeeeotch started right:



Dealt Nina's baby, not bad. But it only 2:59 so I CANNOT cash out.

Less than 10 hands later:

Can

I

Get

A

BOOM BABY!!!!



And while your at it how about a W-2 with that?!?!

No time to lose it, straight to the spa.

Next win---the $99 50-minute massage is $15 off if you pay with room charge (which will be paid with TR points). $84 massage at Caesars? That is what I call Value. With $2K profits in pocket? That is what I call an EXTRA VALUE MEAL!!!!! No offense Ray Kroc you need to serve the Big Mac for breakfast if you want my love.

Ok so the massage was good, back up to the room for a shower. Skin is VERY dry. No amount of my numerous Oil of Olay products will work. I may as well plant a cactus in my ass.

Ok so not much time for this, the boyz begin arrival at 7 and the big show starts at Cosmo at 8. Next few days could be insane, will update here when time and sober enough and on Facebook as phone battery and motor skills allow.

Let end this entry with a little sweet music:

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A good start - let the games begin!

 

Nice wins!

I was there three days last week and had no such luck.

 

Great win, enjoying the facebook updates too. $84 for a massage at Qua is definitely a steal, I never manage to get to Qua though when I stay at Caesars, just everywhere else it seems. Damn, making me really long for the March trip.

 

And the golden Horseshoe seems to be firmly back in place...good luck

 

waiting for the hookers and blow!

 

Don't tell him that, now I will have to bring a shovel with me when I come

 

Despair not Beejay as those Vegas Laws of Averages erode your $2000 winnings. At least that was the last FB stuff I read. I am on route as you sleep to assist in liberating the money of the poor from HET/MGM and the members of the Axis of Evil!

See you all in a few hours.

 

ive lost down to $500 and back to $1,300 up at least 4 times, all in streaks. no sleep yet though my friend. got trick rolled by a sloppy joe which is battling it out with an airplane pop tart in a war where nobody wins! plan to get up about 3.

 

Hope your feeling better--waiting to hear your first impressions of Cosmo

 

whee! nice start. How was Cosmo?

 

After being up for almost 36 hours I managed to get my 2 hours of sleep and raring to go while Beejay is passed out is a elevator somewhere. Most of the quarter DDBP around the strip including Harrahs is 9/5 now and I put through a ton of play last night, almost 1100 HET point, and could only hit one set of quads putting me down around a grand then based on tradition I had my morning sloppy joe which like Bart is not sitting very well. Walking back to my comped GO room at Flamingo I was pissed on how bad I lost on VP and begun to chase playing 5-play quarter DDBP and went on a quad flurry including 2 sets of quad 4s with no kicker plus 6 other quads and even a nice dealt fullhouse on the first try of a new machine which brought me almost back to even. I was on a heater but not drunk at this time and cashed out and back to the room for some rest. Now I am on the hunt for a big glass of milk, which is my usual venture when I wake up, I don't know why but I crave milk here. Now just awaiting the arrival of Macker and Gaggles for the fun and festivities tonight.... I brought my Santa hat so I hope they brought their's or I will be the only ****** wearing one.