Funny Memes, Headlines and Bad Jokes thread - 2023 Edition

At T1 or T3?
I heard they were both Terminal!

 

Guy on my flight last night landing.

 

he was comfy!

 

Ba da bump lol

 

*raises hand*
Very relatable. My wife sends me up to do something upstairs. I have to call her to ask what it was.

 

I was gonna comment but I forg.....................

 

@Sonya ... we absolutely need a "groan" emoticon!

 

I am afflicted with Hereafter Disease. I walk into a room and wonder, "What the hell am I here after."

 

They say the memory is the second thing to go; I forget what the first thing is.

 

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit
Disorder. This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it
needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I
brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under
the table, and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage
first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the
garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check
left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my
desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so
that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Coke is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep
it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter
catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Coke on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been
searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the
flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and
suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the
remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to
put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the
spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

The car isn't washed

The bills aren't paid

There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter

The flowers don't have enough water,

There is still only 1 check in my check book,

I can't find the remote,

I can't find my glasses,

And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really
baffled because I know I was busy all damn day, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it,
but first I'll check my e-mail....

Do me a favor. Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't
remember who I've sent it to.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!

 

Unfortunate album covers

 

Ohhhhhhh, this is me to the T!!!!