Turtleman's (Unintended) Solo Trip Aug. 14-23

Hey Turtleman, I posted once on your other thread, and the constant I see in both is your willingness to share your pain, but most importantly, the importance of your son to you. Just as he is finishing his education and will be traveling down a new path towards his future (and I'm sure looking back at the comfort and familiarity of being around his Dad), so too will you be traveling an unfamiliar path as you move towards your new future, wherever that is. Keep the bond strong between the two of you, and move forward at your own pace. Don't be afraid to make mistakes, for that which does not kill us makes us stronger. Your own good sense of yourself will resurface and I predict you will find happier more fulfilling days than ever before. Your strength showed when you took that first trip, each will be better than the last - and it wouldn't hurt to win a really big one, sooner rather than later!!

 

Dewey: Thanks for sharing your very personal experiences. I used to love living alone and serial dating way back when. It's probably an age thing, but I can now say with absolute certainty that I don't want to live alone ever again if I can help it. Likewise, dating has become only a necessary, time-consuming, and expensive evil. Yet despite my desire to get into a new relationship, I'm being more selective than ever; as per my dating site profile heading, "Determined to get it right this time!"

I'm not sleeping worth a damn, but at least have gained back half of the weight I lost in the first few weeks of this event. (Some people overeat and turn into Oompa Loompa's when stressed out, while others like me can't eat at all. I've even been asked if I've lost weight from people I've never even met! LOL) I'm continuing my daily 2-4 mile walks, still go to the gym religiously, and have made some big and permanent changes in "my relationship skills." In all modesty, I'll make one heck of a great catch for some lucky lady!

To everyone else: I very much appreciate your comments and suggestions. I thought I'd be going back for Halloween (like always), but could be going a lot sooner on a house-hunting expedition. I was thinking Summerlin, but Green Valley has been highly recommended. Opinions? Yep, my old life has ended and it's time to start over!

 

My circumstances and experience were just that ... mine; yours would likely be entirely different. I'm very sorry for your loss, but from looking up your post, it looks like it's been half a year and probably time to move forward. Yes, there will be countless things that will remind you of the past, as things that will always remind me, but what's the alternative other than going nowhere and doing nothing? Or as I recently came across, "Grief is the tax we pay on love," and it sounds like we're both in very high brackets. Yes, I was miserable during most of the my trip, but it had only been a week since Ms. Gecko bailed out of going, banished me to another bedroom, and told me to move out along with all my belongings! The pain and shock were (and still are) very fresh.

Nonetheless, I'm glad I went. While I'll never know what would have been had I stayed here, I doubt it would have resulted in anything positive and I could have felt even worse (though I can't image how). Going on that trip was anything but fun or easy; but now that it's over, I feel good that I was strong enough to have made the effort. If nothing else, I made a new friend in Vegas, which is remarkable considering. It's not destined to be a romantic relationship, but a good friend, especially now, is very much appreciated. She put some fun into an otherwise fun-less trip. We've talked every day since I returned and she's helping scout out potential housing for me should I move there.

My advice is to go!

 

Hope all works out without too much more pain. Best of luck to you.

 

Sorry to hear about your story.

Your story reminded me about a guy that booked a round-the-world trip with his girlfriend, who dumped him prior to the trip, and he posted online and offered a with free trip for someone with the same name as his ex-girlfriend.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/jordan-axani-finds-an-elizabeth-gallagher-for-free-trip-around-the-world-1.2875953

 

Turtleman...I hope you can move on. My BF and I have been together for 9+ years. He is mid 50's and I am mid 40's. We live together and I have no ring. He is a wonderful guy and I have no complaints except his lack of commitment to marriage. He got married to the love of his life at 28. Big wedding with 450 people. He came home from work one day 6 months later to an empty house. She packed up everything and left him for an ex. He has had girlfriends since, and we have been together for a very long time. He is the salt of the earth, and I have never met a nicer person. HOWEVER...he is not openly opposed to marriage, but I KNOW that he will never marry me because of the hurt from that one woman. So I get to suffer because of some woman I have never met. Someone will come along for you. Usually when you stop looking. That is how I met mine. Yes I have had to resign myself to the fact that we may never get married, but I will never meet a better person. Other than financial security and insurance reasons, I guess I can live with the no marriage idea. Just don't let your experience sour a future relationship. Keep an open mind, and heart and you will meet the right one. Quit looking so hard.

 

Sapphires advice "Quit Looking so hard" is excellent advice. You need time to heal - a rebound relationship rarely works out in the end. For now concentrate on your son, your friends, your health. And please don't move to Vegas just because you need a place for your belongings or because you met someone you have no chemistry with! Gail from MN

 

Thanks for the advice - it's the same advice I'd give to someone else. It's just hard to advise myself!

My son finally decided that he doesn't want me moving to Vegas! He said he'd like to remain in Atlanta after graduating the end of this year and is looking forward to spending a lot more time with me once he's out of school and has a new job. That's not what I had expected to hear! And while I'm real glad he feels that way, it further complicates whatever decisions I may make. Guess I'm too old to join the Navy!

 

After graduating college how does he know that he will have a job in Atlanta? Don't let someone else dictate to you where you want to live. Do what you want to do.

 

My son with soon get his degree in business with honors, is a real go-getter, and already has some job offers. Lots of businesses here, so I'm sure he'll be able to stay in Atlanta if that's what he wants to do.

Rest assured, no one is dictating anything to me - their opinions are just factors to consider. What I really want to do is find a new significant other, buy a nice home in Atlanta, and/or a home in Vegas, and live happily ever after! Meanwhile, I have an invitation to move into a friend's house (we've known each other for over 35 years); so I should have a soft landing until the dust settles and the pieces (hopefully) fall into place. Nonetheless, I'll be scouting homes in Vegas during my next trip, which will probably be next month.