The Quad Queen Returns Vol. 3 - Punishment Cheese

Ok caught up. Wow what a feeling hitting something like AWAK on TDB after a day like that.

 

You know, I think there's something to that. I've become Florida Man.

 

Day 4 Friday Feb 17, 2023 - Part 1

Oh boy, I woke up feeling great but the Quad Queen was way under the weather. She was having crazy gastro problems, sneezing her face off, and when I picked up her face and handed it back, I noticed she also had a nosebleed.

We were hoping for just traveller's issues, and hopefully nothing more than that!

I relaxed through the morning, taking it easy, and letting the Quad Queen know by my actions that I fully supported her, while in my head, I was screaming, "Casino. Casino. CASINO. CASINO NOW!!! GAMBLE!!!! CASINO!!!!!!!!!!!"

It reminded me of church as a boy, right down to the collection.

Can you guess what room camping breakfast I engineered? Damn right, a Jimmy Dean breakfast bowl.



After breakfast, I went down to the Wynn casino and had a lovely relaxed session of video poker. They brought enough cappuccinos to make my eyes jitter back and forth uncontrollably like a shifty lawyer.







I remembered seeing an email from Wynn for some kind of kiosk promo, so I went and checked it out. And there it was, the wine glass promo! Freeplay was up for grabs!

It was the Glass Full of Fun promo. After earning enough points for an entry, you pick a wine glass from a set of five on the screen and it tells you what you won. My promo was at the Red level and included prizes up to $50 of freeplay. Bigger players had bigger amounts available.









It was really great! Then I noticed that I was playing on the Quad Queen's card by mistake. We'd decided to do all play on my card, but you know how it is when you have 928 player's cards kicking around.

But this meant I could maybe get the same promo on my card!

I went and played some more and sure enough, I generated more wine glasses full of spondulaks.







We made out like bandits on this promo, it was really worth it and not that hard to earn wine glasses. Kind of unusual for a place like Wynn, but very welcome.



In all I got a total of about $150 on the promo throughout the day.

I love the Wynn casino in the morning. It's such a classy place, and it feels comfortable, in spite of the scale of the place. Other large modern casino floors feel sterile, or like a mall (Resorts World, lookin' at you over there) and I understand a lot of it is because of the high ceilings. Wynn has those fancy dividers hanging above many of the small areas of the casino, and very large lampshaded fixtures over the table games, and they make it feel intimate and less imposing.



Because other gamblers I know gnash their teeth over BUFFFFFFALO!!!!!!!!!!! Ascension, and end up winning, or losing, but still gnashing, I decided to have a gnash bash myself, for the first time ever.

It took me a while to figure out what was going on, but I finally did, and I found myself wanting to trigger the bonuses that were building up, like the Super Stampede.

I finally got a gnash-worthy bonus of my own - the exciting 3x 5x gnash bonus!


Five fucking Fuck You Buffalo cents.
I lost $100. And then I played a second $100. Of course I did. That got to $50 left but many bonuses came along of various sizes and I got back to $150 or so, so down $50 on the game.





But then I hit the Super Stampede and won $192 on that.



Was this a good time to cash out?

 

Invaders Attack from the Planet Mulas

Day 4 Friday Feb 17, 2023 - Part 2

So there I was, headed back through the Wynn Casino on my way to the room.

My cashout TITO had a weird amount on it and I didn't want to end up dealing anything other than round numbers.

I spotted a cheesy Lunar Lander video slot and thought that's just the machine that Neil Armstrong would play - and since Neil and I have so much in common, I was 'GO' for gambling.

After futzing around for a while I noticed my credits were $326.26. I could play one hand of quarter video poker for $1.25, probably lose, and have a nice even $325 to cash in.

I slid the ticket into the first quarter video poker machine I came across, leaned over, and hit the Max Bet button.

As my uncle Carl used to say, 'by the jees', I got a quad. No kicker though.

Boom, an easy hundred bucks, and I cashed out and headed upstairs up $325 on the day.



After checking in with the Quad Queen, who was still feeling punk, I headed out for a solo lunch at Tacos El Gordo, just north of Wynn and across from Resorts World.

I got an al Pastor taco, and two al Pastor Mulas.

Mulas is Mexican taco stand for Sloppy AF. Mulas are highly underrated. They have way more meat in them than tacos, and are loaded with gooey melted cheese. I have yet to figure out how to eat one without it disintegrating all over my hands and me.

Eating Mulas is like the nastiest sex you ever enjoyed, only messier.





I thought maybe a plastic knife and fork would do the trick to keeping my hands free of dripping Mulas juices, but in the interests of safety, Tacos El Gordo provides only forks. God forbid a plastic knife fight should break out some Saturday night at 3:30 am.

The Quad Queen fancied some Jameson's so I did a price comparison between Walgreen's, and the House of Homeless Dodgy Strip Liquor and Prison Tattoo outlet, which was doing quite a business, given they sell booze.


Strip Liquor - better prices than Walgreen's

They beat Walgreen's easily, so that's where I bought a bottle of the Irish Social Lubricant, and headed back to the room.
Stuffed to the gills and happy, I took a long break with the QQ. She was still feeling lousy, but went down with me to the casino about 5:00.

I took my TITO from earlier and fed it to a machine to give dollar JW a bash, and hit straight flush and a couple of quads. I worked my ticket up to $700, putting me up $400 on the day.




Dasm.


Wild Pointies
But poor Mrs. Flusher had terrible time. She couldn't hit anything. She had one natural quad on Jokers, and a wild quad, and that was it. She went down $500, and then bailed, heading back to the room.








Let's frame it this way. After having the perfect morning, and a perfect lunch, and then a decent hit on dollar Jokers, everything was lose, lose, lose, which was a shame.

I played some Invaders from the Planet Moolah, which is a super fun game, and had a long run on dollar video keno, but no good hits.

I played quarter multicard keno, lost lost lost, drink drink drink Maker's.

At this point I was actually down on the day $100. I played $100 in dollar Bonus Poker, worked my way back up to $100, and didn't want to lose more than $100 after being up so nicely.

I got another $10 freeplay from the wine glass promo, went back, played that, and cashed it out. Discipline for once, not going deeper in the hole.

Quad Queen -$500 Day -$1000 Trip

RF -$100 Day +$00 Trip

Combined -$1000

 

The Double D Cup of Coffee Maker

Day 5 Saturday Feb. 18 part 1 and it was moving day from Wynn to the California.

Changing hotels from the Wynn to the Cal is like vacating a high-priced escort's plush fur-trimmed suite and moving into your brother-in-laws basement rec room. Sure, you'll miss the comfort of her top quality finishes and expansive decor, but you'll be somewhere where you can be yourself and relax, knowing there are no rules of etiquette that you can possibly violate.


We did morning much as the previous mornings, with a double breakfast, courtesy of chef Jimmy Dean, coffee from the silicone Double-D Cup of Coffee Maker, and of course packing.


Jimmy Dean, lookin hot and melt with added butter and cheese!


The Double D Cup of Coffee Maker, hot and dripping.
Oh, the downside of changing hotels, packing. And changing hotels. And unpacking at the changed to hotel.

There was no time to play in the casino with all the packing, which took literally forever. In some shadowy parallel universe, I'm still at Wynn trying to jam my dirty underwear into a non-existent bit of unused suitcase space.

The bright side of all this was that I had (again, literally) THE best non-accessible parking spot in the entire Wynn parking structure. To get to it, you simply had to wheel a couple of 400 pound suitcases through the casino, dodging various immovable objects such as people engrossed in the latest TikTok video of a guy trying to shoot a crossbow at a squirrel and instead accidentally impaling himself through the ballsack with said arrow onto a flaming bale of hay which then tumbles off a roof, taking him and his flaming ballsack with it, and landing on his car while missing a swimming pool by three feet, then wheel them down a short hallway past stores that are so exclusive and so expensive that they have armed guards at the doors to stand there largely, looking oh-so bored, just to ensure that nobody can possible enter, through some doors, past a rental car kiosk, through some more doors, into the parking garage, and then suavely canter up to your rental automobile which is parked right next to the handicapped spot, not 40 feet from the exit. Beautiful.

As far as the luggage went, truthfully, I stupidly packed one suitcase with ALL the drinks, water, pop, liquor and milk, and packed all the light stuff in the other. The big suitcase weighed the full 400 pounds because it basically contained the equivalent of a hot tub inside it.

I loaded all that stuff in, locked the rental, and made a return trip to fetch the Quad Queen and whatever stuff was left to bring down.

And we were on our way downtown! And we had an escort! A bunch of idiot kids riding ebikes and breaking every traffic law known to man. Criss crossing lanes, tailgating, doing wheelies through red lights, you name it. By the time we made it downtown, they were still with us.


At this juncture, I reflected that the Caesars gift cards were still untouched, virgin, pure and innocent, unsullied, plump for the spending by a drunken sailor (or a drunken me).


Nothing makes me happier than this moment.
There was a bit of a wait to check in, but we weren't too worried about it. It wasn't long before it was our turn.

But then - THEN - the unexpected happened, and it seemed like the perfect thing to divulge in the next post.

 

Not Only!

Day 5 Saturday Feb. 18 part 2 and there we were, just after noon, checking in at the California and there were some surprises!

Not only! was there barely any lineup.

Not only! were we served by a smiling, helpful lobbyist and not some malfunctioning soulless kiosk.

Not only! were we not wallet-raped some $30 or $40 for 'early fuck you check in'.

Not only! were we given meal books to cover our food for the stay...

...but we were assigned our old digs, a Parlor Suite!


There is only one Parlor Suite per floor and it's about a room and a half in size, which makes it very comfortable. These suites are situated where the west tower was expanded. Because of the join of old and new, there is a bit of extra room, thus the Parlor Suite.

The only downside was that it was not yet ready for occupancy, to which I gave a big fat 'who cares'. We were happy to wait a couple of hours.

We went and played the California's appealing games of chance for an hour and a half or so.









I had trouble getting a quad but finally did get one - a mercy quad, dealt 4s, which got me to about even.

The Quad Queen hit one on Boner Deluxe for $400 plus a few others - she was in fine form.

When we got the call that our suite was ready, I employed the pre-shlepping room check protocol.

Because distances at the Cal are so manageable, I nipped up to the suite to check it out, make sure the keys worked, etc. before doing any shlepping of luggage and punishment room camping foods.

It looked pretty good to me, so I did the needful, dragging the luggage up in two trips. I thought about using the bell desk but didn't want to risk a bunch of spurious $6 tip charges on my room like what happened the trip before.















We took a break in the suite and it was sort of getting to that late in the afternoon time when it's too late to eat lunch but two early to have dinner, so I had a couple of small punishment cheese sandwiches to tide me over until supper.

Then we decided to head over to the Plaza to play some full pay Boner Deluxe and check out the Carousel Bar they are building under where the swimming pool used to be.

It's pretty much a brilliant idea and I can't imagine any way that this bar won't be packed every night (unless it's the summer heat).



Full pay Boner Deluxe is a great game because any quad pays 400 credits. The only rub is that you have to actually make four of a kind to get them. Which neither of us did.

I did manage to eke out a win on some variant of BUFFFFFFALLLLLLLLLLLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!







We returned to the Cal to have dinner. Loco Moco for the lady and Island Short Ribs for the gentleman. Deeeee-lishus!





We played some more and it was ugly. The Quad Queen went on a long losing run, lost back all her profit for the day, and finished even.

I did nothing but lose. I never got another quad for the rest of the day.

Back in the room, I checked the folio just for fun. Good Lord, Cal, there is something wrong with your billing system!





Eight (count 'em) eight bellman gratuity charges - and we didn't even use the bell service. One more thing to sort out the next day.

Quad Queen Day $0 Trip -$1000

Flushiepants Day -$500 Trip -$1500

Combined -$2500

 

Always have to watch that portfolio.

 

Loving your report. Thanks for posting!

 

Thank Ms. OK

Day 6 Sunday Feb. 19, 2023 and we were up at 6:00 am because coffee and keno.



We'd both slept well and were ready to greet the new day, with the hopes of turning the trip around, in terms of getting our asses fried in a cast iron pan with ass butter and ass shallots and handed to us on a fine-ass bone china plate, garnished with parsley and a drizzle of olive ass oil.

All this ass cuisine had me hungry so I got my ass down to the Market Street Cafe. I opted for a table with a view of Keno and ordered up my usual.

Meanwhile, the Quad Queen wolfed down some left over (and reheated, thanks to the Hot Shot Pretzel Logic in-room Travel Oven) Loco Moco. She's become an aficionado of that wonderful Island breakfast.



I ordered my usual two over hard with sausage, hash browns, and wheat toast.

I suppose I could post the same photo of breakfast over and over each day, so you can get the idea.



Like a growing lad (well, growing outward at the waist), I demolished (or 'wrecked' as chris_cnote would say) my meal and here's proof.




That's a $17.32 savings on breakfast by using my Aloha coupon book. Thank you to the unfortunately named but very lovely server Ms. OK.
Next stop, of course, was the front desk, where I quickly dealt with the spurious multiple $6 bell desk tips that had again appeared out of nowhere. The lobbyist at the desk seemed to be very familiar with the problem. Was this buggy software or a cash grab against those that don't look at the folio carefully?

I'm inclined to think it was poorly written software, not that computers ever do much wrong, but it's still a slim possibility.
That sorted, next stop was the Keno lounge to see who had died there overnight. I must have missed the pickup crew because no expired Keno players were evident. Not many can take the hyper-adrenalin rush of the live Keno action at the Cal.

My keno ticket was still in play, which was good, because I'd won SFA. Sweeeeeet fuck all.

So! On to the video poker, a fresh start, a new day, and a bunch of test holes to find the lucky, lucky machine.

I played $20 in five different slant tops, all quarter Bonus Poker. Some lasted only a minute or two. On one I had 13 losing hands in a row. So much for getting off to a great start.

Next up was up was $100 in 50 cent Super Double Bonus on Pinchy. It played great, and I got lots of fulls house to keep me in it. After about half an hour of staying above even, I dropped to $50 left. I was very close to being down $200 before the day really got started.

I was just pleading with the video poker goddess for quad Jacks, Queens, Kings, or Aces. Jack, Queen and King quads are worth $300 on this game at 50 cents, and the Aces are worth $400.

Finally, finally I hit a quad. And just a few minutes later another one. But not the good ones though.





I cashed out $240, up $40 on the day. That stinked of winning to me!

Keno stanked though, I was granted by the great and powerful Wizard of Keno balls the following:

"No Win".

With all the stanking going around, it was time for a shower. It thought it would be best to head back to the room to do that.

With the Quad Queen ready to go, and me clean, fed, and watered, our plan was to hoof it over to the Plaza, and later, to have a special lunch with none other than Gambletron and Mrs. Gambletron, who I've known since I was, well, born.

There's nothing - nothing - like family.

And there's nothing - nothing - better than family than family that gambles.

More to come!

 

Royal Flusher and the Quad Queen

Day 6 Sunday Feb. 19, 2023 part 2 and we were off to the Plaza, where the Carousel Bar was shaping up nicely.

We found a couple of friendly-looking slant tops and I dug in on Joker Wild. The Quad Queen opted for Boner Deluxe, hunting for quads.

I had a pretty nice run and the Quad Queen couldn't hit anything.









We found some older machines at the Plaza that still have their old CRT screens. The Quad Queen like this and we resolved to return to them at some point, but for now, it was back to the room - we had bidness online.

Enough time had passed since the Quad Queen's 2 night Wynn reservation on the Wynn Slots game that she could book another 2 nights towards the end of the trip. It all worked out, and the reservation was in the bag.

We'd been in touch with Gambletron and Mrs. Gambletron and we decided to meet up for lunch at Magnolia's in the Four Queens.


The infamous Gambletron, and the even more infamous Mrs. Gambletron, my sweet cousin for all these years.



I opted for an experimental Chicken Fried Steak with Country Throw-up Gravy (CTUG) as a lunch entree, instead of my typical breakfast gutbombing. It was just ok, and the vegetables were overcooked to disintegration.

We caught up as we ate and it was just like old times, except it was new times. And someday those new times would be the old times for the new new times. But the best time was telling Gambletron all about Katrina who loves to call me sugarbaby (or if I've been bad, sourbaby) and how she smothers me with hugs and kisses when she sees me for the first time on a trip.

And as we got in line to pay...

"SUGARBABY!!!"

I got my hugs and we had a very quick catchup, and then I introduced her to Mrs. and Mrs. Gambletron and slyly suggested that Gambletron could use some sugarbaby hugs.

Next thing I knew he was being smothered, covered, and scattered like a Waffle House plate of hash browns.

I thrilled at the clearly uncomfortable look on Gambletron's face and felt that no matter what else happened, today was a good day.

We parted ways with the Trons and on a whim, we stopped in at the slot club booth to see what we could get out of them and by the Geez there was $9 cash back for the Quad Queen and $8 for me.

This lasted approximately one minute and 9 seconds in the machines.

More downtown bidness ensued, "cashing in" and old Keno ticket at the D for $15 and getting a new one.




I wanted to check out the goings on in Fremont so we went through there on our way back to the Cal. Lots of changes are going on there.





No visit to the Fremont is complete without a run at the Bonus Poker Super Slutty Times Pay machines outside Lanai Express.

I had a pretty nice little run on the machines, making $120 - but the Quad Queen, bless her, just lost and lost. And it was starting to get to her. And I didn't blame her one bit.



Back at the California, we bounced around the casino and I saw one really nice Keno hit by the guy next to me. I asked him if I could take a photo and he said, "Sure, help yourself!"

I asked him if I could have some of his winnings and he said, "Sure, go fuck yourself!"

Here's that fella's Keno win - NOT MY WIN.


Not my win - but a beauty. Nine out of ten. (So why play ten???)




Couldn't we all use some form of redemption?


QQ in Shockwave mode - she didn't get the second jackpot quad though.


We played long enough and the Quad Queen lost enough that it was eventually dinner time at the coffee shop. Loco Moco for the lady and Teriyaki Chicken for the Flusher.


First time I've ever posted our photos on the blog. Sorry to disappoint y'all.





We ate and took leftovers up to the room, and made some strong travelers for the last push of the day.









Buffalo sucked Buffalo Bills Balls.

The Quad Queen played all kinds of things and I played some slots and we ended with a marathon on Pinchy and Flashy.

I came within a few bucks of getting back even on the day playing 50 cent Joker Poker. I played for a long, long time, and suddenly it crashed on me.










I had been up to $180 and down to $50. Finally went out and I was down $100 on the day.

We put in another hundred dollars each on dollar Jacks or Better as a last ditch chase. The Quad Queen's machine coughed up a quad but then just dumped and she was out.


I played all day long and was roughly even all day long, and in 5 minutes, it looked like I would finish down $200.





I got quite low on credits but managed to recover and get back up to $140. And I cashed it out. That left me down $140 on the day.

The Quad Queen lost a shitload and was really quite despondent about the trip so far because she had not yet had a winning day. Two break-evens but no winner.

Quad Queen Day -$700 Trip -$1700

Royal Flusher Day -$140 Trip -$640

Combined Trip -$2340

 

The Secret Mission

Day 7 Monday February 21, 2023 part 1.

We've gotten into a habit of buying a Keno ticket half an hour before the California's game closes at 10:00pm so we can watch with coffee and tea when it starts up again at 7:00 am.


Screw Disney, this is the happiest place on earth.
It doesn't seem to matter much that our typical return on Keno tickets so far has been as much as 21% on the dollar. Almost as much as my personal stock portfolio "gained", before Jimmy Poon took it over for me.

The Quad Queen was kind of under the weather all morning, and into the afternoon, and that said, the weather outside was frightful, particularly for the tee shirt and shorts set (aka me). There was wind warnings, and even a snow storm warning at altitude. Brrrrr.



I kept myself busy by doing morning things like eating breakfast at the counter at the Cal coffee shop, buying Keno tickets for Mrs. Flusher, and losing $140 in about 9 minutes afterward.


Portuguese Sausage Omelette - pretty good!


If you can't win on 6, bet 5. If you can't win on 5, bet 4. If you can't win on 4, become a blogger.
That was followed by a mission.

I love having missions in Vegas. The mission plan included a number of objectives, including:

• walking to the Four Queens and dropping off a secret envelope
• cashing in Keno tickets at the D, and tormenting my cousin without warning
• making a trip the walk of shame to the ATM at Bank America
• attempting re-entry and a safe return to planet The Cal without getting knocked off by some methed up crazy-eyed ne'er-do-well fist-shaker-at-God, the likes of which are in abundance in downtown Las Vegas.

About the secret envelope... apparently, there are people out there who still read the blog. Such a person - let's call her Mandy (short for Mandy Grandy, known for her $1000 jackpots, which she wins in abundance - or at least deserves to - rumor has it) - let me know that she was downtown, but her mother Kathy - also a reader of the blog - was unable to make the trip, due to circumstances at home.

Mandy asked if I could provide some souvenir, autograph, keys to my rental car, bundles of cash, something that would cheer up her mother.

I recognized both their names as people that have interacted with me through the years, and know they are long-haul Flushiepants degenerate gambling virus victims.

Any savvy gambler, myself included, travels with a selection of engraved stationary, custom printed Thank You cards, fresh fruit arrangements, gift cards, gimcracks, gew-gaws, tchotchkes, trinkets, kewpie dolls, autopen 'autographed' business cards, 3D printed bobbleheads, and the like.

I located an appropriate envelope in my supplies, and a piece of monogrammed genuine Royal Flusher parchment, and a couple of Official Royal Flusher version 2.0 Business Cards.

But no. The parchment wasn't good enough for Mandy, nor was the high cotton fiber content A4 personal correspondence stock, the stuff with the cut-out Royal Flusher Dress Up doll printed on the back of each and every one.

But no, that wouldn't do either. I needed something really special, and that something was a sheet from a rare, limited edition (only one per room) highly sought after California Hotel and Casino in-room notepad.

I drafted an appropriate message, and signed two of the business cards, one for Mandy, and one for Kathy - the first time, I believe, that any such card has been autographed. I suppose I should have numbered them to drive up prices. Bygones.

These, I placed in the envelope, and sealed it with some of the Flusherville Springs Envelope-Sealing and Baby Christening water I carry in a 10K gold flask everywhere I go.

All of this done, I set off for the Four Queens, where I encountered Gina, your prototypical sturdy, loyal Front Desk Sheila. I placed the envelope in Gina's custody, and then messaged Mandy as soon as I was safely out of sight to let her know where to pick up the goods.


Secret Double Four Queens Agent Gina.
Next stop, the D, where finding my cousin, Mrs. Gambletron, was unbelievably easy, as she was parked on a penny slot not 100 feet from the Keno lounge on the second floor. We also tracked down Gambletron, and I said my goodbyes, wishing them well on their trip home.

"Goodbye," I said.

"Goodbye," said Mrs. Gambletron.

"Goodbye," said Gambletron.

"Goodbye, Gambletron," I said.

"Goodbye, Gambletron," said Mrs. Gambletron, by mistake.

Ironically, the very plane they were to take to Minot was to be the same one that their lad Dr. Raoul Shiboubou would be taking to Las Vegas!

From the D, I took the shoe-leather express to the Bank of America, so named because it's a bank. And it's in America. Or it's of America. Anyway, it's aptly named, if you ask me.

I used the ATM to withdraw funds that would be only temporarily in my possession, and thus even more precious than gold or myrrh. Fleeting, one would say, ethereal perhaps.

And then my task was dodging various frightening-looking characters as I flitted from street to street, constantly on guard, working my way back to the Cal.

I almost got mugged by a rubby-dub who was knocked out on Fosters outside the Golden Nugget. I swear, he mustered a pre-consciousness fart, just before rousing himself to mug me and take my precious freshly-dispensed cash.

And if he hadn't gotten me, the next of the Angels with Dirty Faces most likely could have, or the next one, or the next one after that. All of them Four Loco'd out at the very foot of the Smug Nugget, lying on the curb.

On the way through Binion's, I secreted a secret stash of secret Business Cards in a secret location, should Gina abscond with the booty and place it for sale on some open crypto gew-gaw autograph market, to go to the highest bidder.

But no, loyal Gina did deliver the bundle with my scrawl on it to Mandy, who swooped in and claimed it like a Maltese Falcon.

Job done. A fun little mission on my part, successfully executed.

 

Second Wheel on a Unicycle

Monday February 21, 2023 part 2, and we were hanging out in the room, not losing (except on Keno tickets).

Even though it is but a shadow of its former bustling self, we went to Main Street Station to play this and that.


I was excited to find out that Rambo is a card carrying Sapphire at Boyd properties!




I'd meant to eat at MSS if anything was open, but we got involved, and next thing it was after 4:00 pm and we were headed back through the walkway to the Cal.




Sign says it all. Hope those Boyd MBAs got paid a shitload for their pandemic strategies.
The Quad Queen wasn't hungry and gambled while I went to eat at the Market Street Cafe.


I ordered the Chop Steak, primarily because it was covered by the Aloha coupon. I don't know why it isn't Chopped Steak. Or Chopped Beef Steak. Or Beef Chop Steak. Or Beef Chop. Why Chop Steak? Why not Steak Stir Fry?




Chop Steak

The Chop Steak was tasty enough, and I had enough fries on the plate to feed four people. It's ridiculous to think that anyone could be piggish enough to gobble their way through that trough of oily, greasy potatoes.



I waddled outta there and we played lots of nickel triple play Super Times Pay. Ultimately, we lost. We never got that 'killer hand', which is what you need if you are going to survive on this game.
We went back to the room to regroup and rethink, because we were so down. As you've seen by the lack of jackpot photos, nothing but nothing much was hitting today.

The Quad Queen wanted to do a quarter Boner Deluxe Strict Rules of Parlay session. Honestly, I had no stomach to lose any more and the day seemed futile, so I gave her the rest of my stake to play.

I would ride shotgun, and play one hand every 4 minutes. And that's what I did.





Mrs. F. got from quarters to 50 cents, 50 cents to dollars, looking for that big quad, but then had to de-parlay (per the Strict Rules of Parlay), and then de-parlay again to quarters. And the quarters ran out.

The big quad scores we've gotten so many times on Boner Deluxe dollars were nowhere to be found.

The QQ checked out a machine she was considering playing, and I noticed a ticket sticking out of the one next to it. It was for $11.25, from 12 minutes prior. We hung around, waiting for the owner to come by, but they never did.

This time the angel on my right shoulder beat out the devil on my left, and I turned the ticket in. The floor person referred it to Candy, the floor manager, and I confirmed that she could find the person who owned the ticket if they had been using their card.

And no, I wouldn't get the ticket if they couldn't find them.

That was good enough for me, and I stored even more flashing sparkling karma stars in my little 'me me me' piggy bank. If you do a thing, thinking you'll get karma payback, are you really doing the thing for someone else, or yourself?

When we were all out of cash, we stole money from Admin to buy two Keno tickets for the next day's coffee.

I checked for messages and there were a few waiting for me that explained the impact of my secret mission efforts had on Mandy and Kathy's family.

It was significant, given the circumstances in which they found themselves.

As I read these messages, I was touched, and glad that I had done a good thing.

The posts on this blog go out, and I'm never sure how they are received. I measure success by the number of views each post has, and by the comments or feedback I get. But for every 500 page views, there are one or two other specific interactions that let me know I'm on the right track. And occasionally there are one or two nasty-grams.

Sometimes I look at these numbers and wonder why they aren't larger, and why more people aren't reading, and is it worth the effort?
And just when I think it doesn't matter, something like this happens and I realize that the seeds I throw out into the wind matter, and some might grow bigger trees than I would ever know. And this has happened a number of times in the years that Royal Flusher has been recounting his adventures.

Just when I think I might as well quit, something like this happens, and I find out I am actually making a difference, albeit small, in someone's day. And I'm encouraged to continue to write.

I read all the messages to the Quad Queen and told her that she can take half the credit for any Flushiepants goodwill karma we generated today, because she thinks up so many of the interesting things that end up in the blog.

Furthermore, people like her and like hearing about her, and I think they are more interested the Quad Queen than me.

It's ironic, I'm the more needy one, the one that craves the attention, and everyone wants to know about her.

I told her all these things, and she responded, channeling Joe Pesci, "It's all about me. I'm the one that's important here."

"Yes, I feel like the... 18th wheel or whatever it is. The second wheel. Yeah, I'm the second wheel," I replied

"Yeah, the second wheel on a unicycle."

"You did it again. That's going straight to the blog."

QQ Day -$500 Trip -$2300

RF Day -$500 Trip -$1140

Combined -$3340

The numbers don't lie, this trip was in big trouble.

 

Winning Sweet Fried Chicken All

Tuesday Feb 21, 2023 and my notes for the day say "Another shitkicking. Ate breakfast buffet. Shitty." For starters.


This is where the day ended up.
But a blog is a blog and I'm obliged to make this steaming turd of a day entertaining. Surely some good things, or some amusing things happened!



Well, for one thing, we got to watch the in-room Keno display computer get rebooted. That was great.

I guess.

As mentioned, I decided to have breakfast at the Main Street Station buffet, which was limping along post-COVID.

It just wasn't very good. I characterized it as 'Shitty' and I think that was appropriate. The difference between shitty and pretty good could be as simple as having cold dead old fried chicken versus hot dead fresh fried chicken.




After, I played twenty bucks in Super Slutty Shitty Times Pay five play nickels. And I got multipliers on three different hands. Each of them was the minimum, 2x. And I won sweet fried chicken all on each of them.

I did manage to get a quad. Well, that was something I guess. 125 nickels.


The next note is a gooder: QQ won on Keno.

Back in the room, somehow, we saw that the Quad Queen had come up with a fairly good Keno win - a 7 out of 9! Yay!!!


See, the day wasn't all bad. Just mostly bad.

When the Quad Queen was ready, we headed downstairs to the Cal sports book and pulled up a couple of armchairs to visit with none other than my cousin Dr. Raoul Shiboubou, famous Penguin rancher from Manitoba.

We had a fine catchup, and I showed him some photos of his parents from the day before, in case he had forgotten what a Gambletron looks like.

As we sat and chatted, I suddenly remembered that enough time had passed that I could book more Wynn rooms on the Wynn Slots app, for the last day of our trip. Typey typey typey and boom, that was done.

Even though we have had to put some dough and lots of time into it, the Wynn Slots app has certainly paid off. Our cost per night is well under $100 for the top-rated hotel in Vegas. One in which we put rotting broccoli on ice in the sink and make breakfast sandwiches and Mac 'n Cheese in the Hot Snot Logic travel oven, rather than shelling out for world-class cuisine food in the Wynn's restaurants.

We decided to again spend some time at Red Rock, and on the way, I had some shopping to do.


My old pal, the ever-generous Casey Jones, had send some ko-fis earmarked for Maker's Mark. So, of course I had to oblige. Really, I had no choice.


Thank you, Casey!
The skies looked ominous as we approached Red Rock - one of those February storms that are becoming more common in Vegas with crazy win and rain and even thunder and lightning possible.




I did okay for a while, but I couldn't hit any quads. The best part of the outing was lunch - a huge-ass chicken burrito from Rubio's (made with huge-ass chickens).

OH MY GAWD it was good. One of the tastiest meals I had on the entire trip. I ate it all, and I was stuffed.
















I got only one quad in Red Rock - and it was dealt to me. A Mercy Quad. In fact, not counting the one on five-play nickels, it was my only quad since Sunday night. After losing $100 in old-school Buffalo, by the time we left I was down $400 in Red Rock.

The Quad Queen didn't fare much better in terms of results, but at least she did hit a few quads. But the Keno money and much of her day's stake were all gone.






It was definitely nicer inside Red Rock than it was outside.




Dejected, we made our way back downtown.

The Quad Queen was determined to hit something and get back on track and hammered 50 cent and dollar Jacks or Better. She must have played 2 hours on dollar Jacks, looking for that Royal Flush that would make everything better.

I had my friend Mr. Maker's Mark to make me feel, if not better, a little numb. My notes say, "Just another sad, disappointing day in this trip. Sick of losing."

Sometimes Vegas trips are like this, probably more often than not.

As far as the gambling results go, it's kind of like in a lopsided pick up game when you stop keeping score. Mercy rule.

This was bucking to be the worst trip to Vegas ever, but we still had a couple of days to go.

QQ: Day -$mumble Trip -$fuck you Vegas

RF: Day -$somethingsomthing Trip -$youmustbejoking

Combined: -$FerCryinOutLoud

 

Just under a month until I hopefully pick up some of what you might leave in Vegas. Thanks for helping me get through the final stretch run! For the record, I’d be perfectly happy to hear you ended up leaving nothing in Vegas.

 

So sorry to hear about the losses. I've had similar over the course of the past month, a repeat of the prior month, keeping me from gambling this month, lol. BUT, along with your wit, I did get an answer to a question. How is the Flusher cooking breakfast egg dishes every morning in his room? I don't recall the Wynn having microwaves. Then you finally wrote about it...a travel oven. I didn't even know there was such a thing. Now I know, lol.

 

My just completed trip was like that. Why does Las Vegas treat its regulars so harshly?

True Story, a few years ago I started including my daily wins and losses in my trip report after seeing them in your blog. I thought then (and even more believe so now) that VMB posters wildly inflate their numbers here. No way anyone betting $0.50/spin and showing pics of winning bonuses of $43.00 also got their Cosmo Fountain View rooms comped... and winning on every trip. I was (inspired by you) keeping it real that we are the people that built those glorious towers.

This current trip was so bad that - like you - I stopped keeping track of my losses. All I know is that my Vegas Savings Fund is now in the negative numbers and I have another trip scheduled in three months.

Mean Ol' Vegas....

 

Of course not silly; he is Canadian. We don’t say FU (with our outside voices) to employees.

 

Man, you know it. It's actually really, really difficult to have a break even or winning trip of any length. Short trips, you can kind of hit and run, but once you get into 10, 11, 12 days, they grind you down and pay for the towers.

 

Good luck on your trip!

 

I agree and disagree. Yes, you will almost certainly lose on a 12-day trip (most of my trips are 10-14 days) but the key is to add up all of your comps and see if the trip actually cost you less than if you were paying for everything at regular rates like a non-gambler. I call, falling into this category of the overall trip costing less than a non-gambler would have paid, the sweet spot. The casino sees that they made money off of you and so the offers continue. You see that you had a discounted trip. Most of my trips fall into this category. A loss, but actually an overall win.