The Quad Queen Returns Vol. 3 - Punishment Cheese

This trip took place in February, 2023, but I just finished writing it up last week.

Florida Men Have Nipples Too

Just as men have nipples too, so does Florida have winter.

December and January in the Greacey Palms Senior Putt Putt Trailer Park can be quite chilly, with highs in the 50s and lows around freezing.

We even went below freezing a few times, just a degree or two, but enough to send Anita Bryant running out of the orange groves for a blankie and a cup of cocoa.

I haven't touched on this in the blog yet, but starting in 2022, the Quad Queen started having some neurological symptoms that affected her fingers. By fall it was quite a bit worse, and her mobility started to be affected.

It did make the three trips to Vegas we did from Florida last winter a little bit different, and each time, she found walking to be more difficult, and she tired out more quickly while on the go.

The situation didn't play a huge role in this, the third trip in the string, but I found myself taking on more tasks that she could no longer do, like cutting up a third rate steak special slab of 'finished last in the 12th' meat.

Gambling and drinking was not one of these tasks. More stuff like wrangling luggage, and making room camping meals.

With that out of the way, I think I am finally ready to write up this trip.

Day 1 - February 14th, 2023

Still playing COVID Catchup, the Quad Queen was ready to embark on The Quad Queen Returns to Vegas - Vol. 3.

We needed some last minute supplies, so I drove over to the Dollar General to pick up this and that. It was Feb. 13th and I saw something that I knew would tickle the Quad Queen - and it wasn't my soul patch, either.

For the low, low price of One Dollar, I purchased a 'sure-to-be-lucky' plastic gnome figurine as a Valentine's Day gift for my sweetheart.

She was sure to be overwhelmed with emotion!

The idea was the lucky gnome would accompany us to Vegas and bring us, well, luck, much as Hello Kitty had done during the fabled Victory Trip.

For this trip, we done got all smartened up on a few things, and booked a late morning departure on Spirit in the Big Seats. We had a stop in Dallas and had the Big Seats for both legs. And arms, I guess.

We'd hit Vegas at a reasonable time and stay at Wynn for a few nights, courtesy the Wynn Slots app, downtown at the Cal for five nights, and back to Wynn for a few more. Brilliantly, I overlapped the Cal and second Wynn stay so moving would be a breeze.

I'd booked a car for a week as well, a few days into the trip. I found out there was an AVIS booth at Mirage, an easy hike from Wynn. Much simpler than trying to get down to the airport rental car facility.

And on arrival, we'd be able to just grab a cab to Wynn, instead of dealing with the shuttle to the rental car place. Same deal on the way out - a quick and simple cab ride directly to the terminal.

Slicker than snot on a doorknob, as my shop teacher used to say. He also said, with regard to lighting an oxy-acetylene welding torch, "A before O, or up you will go." As in up in a fireball. I never forgot. Well done, Mr. Schwed!

The next morning, the Quad Queen informed me that she had packed 'Brains'. Brains as in a cheap plastic figurine of Brains from the Thunderbirds, something we've had kicking around like forever.


Brains

"We need a little figurine for luck," she said.

We got in the car, and there was the 'lucky' gnome, still in its Dollar Store cardboard backing.

"Happy Valentine's Day," I said. "I got this for you to take to Vegas. A little figurine - for luck."

"Oh, uh, thanks."

Never in my life did I think I'd be Valentine's Day cock-blocked by Brains.

In any case, it was nice to have some time in the morning before leaving the trailer park, and have a leisurely white-knuckle drive to the airport. That I-4 should be called the Die-4.



The Tampa airport is wonderful. I'm totally in love with it.



We shlepped (damn I do a lot of shlepping on trips) to the tram, trammed to the terminal, and shlepped some more to the Spirit bag drop-off.


When there is a malfunction in a Spirit 737 cockpit, does the alarm go 'BAD DOG!'?
Bad luck - the Quad Queen's suitcase was 4 pounds over the limit. We had to find a place to open up all our stuff and try to re-allocate enough weight between the bags. This is always great fun in a busy airport. It's fun to put a pair of your underwear temporarily on your head to free up your hands. It's even more fun if it's her underwear on your head.

One of the smartest things they did at TPA was to push out security to each of the satellite terminals, instead of having everybody bottleneck their way through one security line. With Pre-Check, we got through in no time. Like zero time. It was literally instantaneous.

(I'm very pleased with my verbing of the noun bottleneck. I hope it catches on.)

Food is interesting, tasty, and very reasonably priced in the airport. A pre-flight slice seemed like a great idea, and I was shocked to see the menu - in a good way.

The slice was very good, well worth the money. A measley $5.45 for a decent slice? Hell yeah!







No sooner had I gotten that slice in ma belly, that the plane was ready to go. Next stop, Hub Airport, Some State USA!

 

Your Order Mr. Flusher


Day 1 - Part 2 and I still remember going without food for 13 hours in QQ Returns Vol. 1. No way am I going to let that happen again.

I'd had a good breakfast, a slice in Tampa for elevensies, and now we were in Dallas on a stopover.

It should be noted that I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt. And I'd packed a number of t-shirts. And more pairs of shorts. No jacket. No long trousers. No coveralls. No fur coat. No plus fours even, let alone knickerbockers.

Our plane to Vegas from Dallas was delayed - because in Las Vegas, which should be having warm spring weather, it was snowing.

Yes, snowing. It was 37 freezing degrees, with 50 MPH wind gusts, and it was snowing.



Not knowing how long the delay would be, I went on the food offensive. A nice feed of Kung Pao chicken from Panda Express, and it was delicious.

Speaking of food, we were trying a different room camping supply drop scheme. Because we wouldn't have a rental car for a few days, we wouldn't be able to pick up food.

But we could get delivery from Amazon Fresh! Brilliant! We spent an hour or so fine-tuning our order. They have this 2 hour delivery and I thought we'd be able to get our stuff this same night.

Well, 2 hour delivery only means they'll deliver within a two hour window - but the only slots available were for the next day. But that was okay, we had enough stuff with us to get by. And I had an airport full of fast food franchises to load up with before take-off.


I punched the Amazon order through for the next morning at 6:00am for $4.99 because idiots. I am still not sure how this works but $4.99 was a low price to pay for Jimmy Dean breakfast products hand-delivered to somewhere in the vicinity of our room at the Wynn.

It looked like another couple of hours or so before take-off. Our wonderful itinerary to get us to Vegas in mid-afternoon was shot. It'd be an evening arrival yet again.

My response to this was to return to Panda Express and have another order of Kung Pao - just the dish, no rice, no drink, no chit-chat.

Traveling makes me hungry, and I don't know why, but Wendy's was frigging right there and next thing I knew I was in line, still chewing spicy chicken.

No way was I going to travel hungry, no WAY.





Yup, I ordered my third meal of the layover, a double cheeseburger of some sort from Wendy's. Did I feel ill after? Hella ill. Did I feel hungry after? HELL NO.

I practiced Joker Wild video poker for a while, anticipating playing it at Wynn. Some of the holds still surprise me, like this one.



Well, eventually, the winds died down in Vegas, although the cold temperatures remained. We got loaded onto our great big piss-yella Spirit airplane mit der bigg seatz, and made our way to Vegas.

Vegas, sweet Vegas.






What happens in Classy Vegas, stays in Classy Vegas!

The luggage appeared as luggage often does, and we made our way to the cab stand. Holy shit, it was cold! The wind was still fierce and I was goose-nipples all over.

We grabbed a cab to Wynn in short order, and I laid $40 on the driver for a $27 fare, because it doesn't pay to mess with Mother Karma at the start of a Vegas trip.


Somebody billboard guy's 90s pager is going off about now.

Check-in was a breeze at Wynn. It was all good things. I found a lucky nickel quarter on the floor, and it was heads up. I stuffed it in Mrs. Flusher's bra, having learned a thing or two from I Put My Life on a Shelf and a thing or 4 from Kodidog.




The front desk people at Wynn are second to none. I inquired about a fridge and before I knew it, she'd set it up, picked a room, and offered us a choice of chilled or room-temperature water.

We hauled our bags across the casino. What a feeling it is when you finally arrive in Vegas, and you are walking through the casino, hearing all the sights, and seeing all the sounds, knowing you are about to embark on your own adventure.

We'd no sooner made it to our room when the guy arrived with the fridge. Room camping was now room glamping. No more ice runs. No more dead broccoli murder victim smells. No more moldy Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwiches!

Guess what we'd packed in the luggage? Room glamping vodka. So yes, there was an ice run and in inaugural cocktail, and then we headed to the casino.

We went to one bank of video poker and it was full. We went to another bank, and it was gone. We went to a third bank and it was full and I started to realize something. Video Poker is an endangered species on the strip. I never thought it would happen, but the penny video slots are just too strong a money-maker with their 86% holds.

We wandered the casino floor, and it was literally impossible to find a video poker machine to play. There were even fewer machines than 6 weeks ago. And ironically, it wasn't all that busy in the casino, but the video poker banks were the only banks that were full up. A miscalculation on Wynn's part?

We circled the casino looking for VP machines to lose our money in and finally found one machine open. I waited around for someone to leave and got in on the fun.

And strangely, we could not get served. In 90 minutes we got one round of drinks.


Quad Queen is on the board. No kicker, though.






Fuck you, cock-blocker.

Quad Queen Day -$200 Trip -$200
Royal Flusher Day +$100 Trip +$100

Combined -$100

 

Perseguindo o Ponto Verde el Green Dot of Amazon


Wed Feb 15 - Day 2 and I woke at 5:30 am after staying up till 11:30 pm the night before, which is 2:30 pm Eastern time, after full long day of travel.

But Amazon Fresh is slated to arrive as early as 6:00 am.

In my mind, here's how I see it going. I unpack two suitcases, and go down to the south gate entrance, where I've carefully instructed the Amazon Fresh driver to meet me. I put the information in two places, and included a google maps link to the pickup point. I'll wait at the door for about 3 minutes, and a sleek, late model EV will coast to a stop just outside the door. I'll go out into the beautiful sunrise, greet the driver, load the goods into the suitcases, roll back to the room, and jump into bed again by 6:15 am.

My mind is faulty. Here's how it really went.

I unpacked two suitcases, and we went down the elevators. On our way down the little hallway leading to the casino, a Wynn employee wishes us a safe trip home. I don't bother to correct him. It'll be my little secret.

We get to the south gate a little before the appointed time and scope the area out and my God it is freezing. I'm still in shorts and a tee-shirt and I'm shivering.




I check the Amazon app and they send messages indicating delivery is on its way. Great.

We wait. And wait some more. Finally, a little map becomes available that shows where the delivery vehicle is.



It's 6:29 am and my delivery person is delivering not far from where Bennie Binion's Vegas ranch was.

I watch. I wait. I refresh. Over and over and over.

The little green dot makes its way south, eventually. It crosses I-15 and finds the strip. It wends its way south. Finally, it nears Wynn and I am screaming at the green dot NOT to go into the Wynn main entrance.

The green dot passes the entrance. Good. The green dot turns west onto Spring Mountain from the strip instead of east to my waiting arms at Wynn south gate.

"NO NO NO you STUPID STUPID DOT!!!!" I scream.

It seems to hear me so I scream some more, "I'm OVER HERE. TURN AROUND, FUCK TONSILS!!!!!"

I try to call the driver through the app, but it fails.

And at some point, my phone rings, but nobody is there.

The little green dot, over a period of 10 minutes, worms its way around the Fashion Show Mall and ends up finally heading in the right direction.

The next update shows the green dot just at the entrance to south gate. We've done it!

I watch and no polished EV shows up. And the green dot takes the short loop and... heads back onto Spring Mountain, then turns right onto the strip.

"C'mon," I say to the Quad Queen. "The idiotic green delivery dot is headed for certain death at the Wynn porte cochere."

"I can't go as fast as you, you go ahead," she says, "I'll meet you there."

So I hustle through the casino to the main entrance and check my phone. Sure enough, the green dot is there. Somewhere.

The area is a hive of crisscrossing lanes, valet drop offs and exit tunnels, cab stands, and turnabouts. There are cars everywhere.

I'm out in the wind, my groceries are lost, and I'm freezing, tired, and hungry.

I spot this shitty little compact car about six lanes away from the doors. I try to call the driver again, I check the app again, I look for a way to send a message again.

Shit. I start walking towards the shitty compact car and a young woman gets out.

"Amazon?" I shout, waving my phone at her, showing the display?

Her face lights up! "Amazon! Si!!!"

By now, the Quad Queen as Qaught up with us. The woman is fucking with her phone and fucking with her phone some more. Another woman gets out of the front seat.

The Amazon woman shows me her phone.

Google Translate.

"Hi, I'm Portuguese. I speak no English."

This explains a lot, and I try not to lose my temper.

She pops the trunk and it's full of our stuff, mostly loaded into labeled paper bags, and some stuff, like the waters, just with sticky labels on them.

Senorita Amazona tries and tries and tries to scan the labels, but they won't. We stand and watch and freeze some more. My lips by now have turned blue.

The Translate app informs us that she can't leave without having scanned the goods, and it won't work.

We come up with the brilliant idea of taking the stuff out of the paper bags and just dumping it into the suitcases. She can take the bags with her and scan later when her app is sorted out.

This is fine, except for the things that have labels stuck right onto them. We set to peeling them off. I feel like I'm stuck at Camp IV on the South Col on an Everest expedition and I have to get my tent closed before my hands finish freezing solid.

Well of course the fucking labels won't peel off. Mamacita Amazona and I work away at it and are failing miserably. "No va," I say. "Chev vi No va."

All of a sudden Senorita Amazona shrieks - a breakthrough! The scanner works.

They finish up and take off, and by 7:20 am we are back in our room with the groceries. It's breakfast time!



I had a real problem with Amazon sending someone on these deliveries who can't communicate effectively. But I had no problem with someone struggling to make a living. Since she was in that position and trying hard, I didn't diss her in the review. She has enough problems without me making it worse. And, we got the delivery charges reversed because of the lateness of our order.

I got some Jimmy Dean breakfast stuff going in the HotPocketRocket thingy and did my morning browser rounds, including Wordle.



Ironically, when breakfast is ready, I open a packet of salsa and it spews all over me. The perfect end to the perfect morning.










This actually is the 'cooked' photo. Didn't look like much but it was good!


Second breakfast. Superior to the tin-foil effluent omelette.

All these things taken care of, we set in to rest some and hang out. I took a long, hot shower, and napped for an hour.

And then, finally, we were ready to gamble.

 

Five of a Kind

Wed Feb 15 - Day 2 part 2 and it was time to address the dismal VP selection at Wynn. I had done some research and found that the best paying quarter game is probably Joker Wild aka Joker Poker.

So, before the trip, I fired up the Video Poker WinSimulator 3000 (you remember that, don't you?) and practiced it. Joker Wild is a very different game from what I'm used to, but I kinda liked it.

Anyway, my plan was to play mostly JW when not losing at video keno.

And so we headed down to the Wynn casino to play, play, play!!!


And... we couldn't find a machine open. We had to stand around and wait for someone to leave. And finally someone did, so we started off sharing the machine and taking turns, like a couple of 23 year old newlyweds on their first trip to Vegas.

A second machine opened up, and I attacked the Joker Wild - and I killed it.






My first ever Joker Poker five of a kind.




I decided to order a Mojito and it was delicious. This would definitely not be the last of the Mojitos.



Meanwhile... where were the Quad Queen's Quads??? Nowhere to be found. She was having a terrible run, while I got dealt a straight flush.



It was time for lunch and a rest, so we headed up to the room to do some Room Camping Cuisine. I think you have to agree we did alllllllllll right.





After lunch I went for ice and found the machine was down. An excuse to have free gratis room service ice sent up. And so it was.

We took a nice long break and then decided to change the Quad Queen's luck by heading to the Encore casino.




Oh, we had a fun session, with lots of cocktails, video poker, slots, and video keno.




Mrs. Flusher got on the board, too, finally.




I was doing okay, but then blew $71 of a hundy in Top Dollar in about 2 minutes. But on Quick Hit, I played for half an hour on the rest.

Things weren't going quite so well for the Quad Queen, so we moved around to a different bank so she could lose in a new change of scenery. And I got another Keno hit.



Onward. More play, more drinks, more laughs.

We were pretty loaded and not doing too well. I cashed out when I thought I was even on the day, but I was actually down $100. Math.

The Quad Queen went almost 2 hours without a quad.

On the way back to the room, I spotted a bunch of poker room rolly tables and of course made an ass of myself by putting my balls in a cup holder and rolling around the casino.





Back in the room, we made Mac and Cheese for dinner. It turned out pretty well. The 'Mac' was precooked udon noodles and the 'Cheese' was pre-processed industrial strength pasteurized extruded cheese food product slices.

Mmmmm mmm! If Steve Dangleshorts could just see us now!






Punishment Mac and Cheese
The Quad Queen insisted we were going down to the casino again after dinner, but while I was eating my M&C she crashed hard. And that was that, down for the count.

Quad Queen -$300 Day -$500 Trip

Royal Flusher -$100 Day +$0000 Trip

Combined -$500 on the trip.

 

Thursday Feb 16 - Day 3 and I was finally starting to relax into Vegas. But I had plans!

We had a leisurely morning planned. And breakfast planned. And a plan to walk over to Mirage to pick up the rental car from Avis.



The Quad Queen wasn't up to the walk, so I'd go it alone, go and get a special lunch by myself, once I had wheels, and then swing by and pick her up, and we'd execute the rest of the day's plan.

It felt great to be in complete control, relaxed, efficient, and happy. Coffee and food was in order.

The Jimmy Dean breakfast bowl was really good so I did a repeat of that and some healthy green pepper hunks, and a couple of slices of the comestible that traditionally is the embodiment of over 250 years cultural development - Fromage a l'Americaine.


Fun Fact: Jimmy Dean is a real person. He lives in a shiny black plastic mansion.
We still had those damn Caesars gift cards that I bought for the sole purpose of generating much-needed airline points. And the question was still outstanding, where to use them? We thought maybe we could have lunch at Harrah's before picking up the car, but the timing wasn't right, and beside's, Mrs. Flusher was too pooped to perambulate.

It was quite distressing when I learned that Caesars, after a year, charges a monthly fee to 'maintain' gift cards. What a fucking rip-off.

I'd booked the car for 12:00 noon, but I had lots of time, so when I was ready to head out, I did.

I sauntered down the hallway, sauntered through the foyer, sauntered in place in the elevator, and sauntered to - where else? - the Wynn casino. A quick stop off to confirm my luck and while away a bit of time and enjoy my relaxed, joyful mood.

Joker Wild had other plans and $100 disappeared quite quickly.

No matter, I'd play $100 on Double STP Double Double Bonus quarters triple play and score big. Nope.

Another $100 went in, and I finally did get a quad, which got me to $180. I could cash out and be only down $120 of my $300.

Of course I didn't cash! I had to win back all my stake. Lose lose lose lose lose and there I was, down $300 for the day and I hadn't been out of the room more than 37 minutes.

There was nothing for it but to go on my way. Sauntering was out, spirited antarctic-ass speed walking was in. It was just freezing out, and there I was draped in about 1 square yard of gauzy homespun. At least, that's how it felt.

I walked up to Mirage and gazed upon it for one of the last times before it would be transmogrified into a Hard Rock. It's really where the modern strip started (notwithstanding Caesars), and there has always been something special about it. I will miss the old girl.

With bidness to attend to, I headed to the slot club, giving the bronze mermaids a quick lucky goosing on the way in.








I have a Unity card from the Hard Rock in Tampa, and I had Pearl at MGM, so I got a tier match and a new set of cards. There was a 5000 point bonus, and that, plus whatever points I already had on the card could be converted into $34 freeplay.

It was just a few minutes before noon, so I hustled through the casino, and from a decent distance away, I could see the Avis desk which is situated just to the right of check-in. It's a smallish area with a beaten up computer monitor, all kinds of dusty wires here and there on the worn work surface. This surface is just behind the customer counter, which is raised a little higher and features a sign saying, "WE ARE SORRY WE FUCKED OFF FOR LUNCH EARLY AND MISSED YOU."



WHAT THE HELL?????

I looked around to see if maybe the boothling was nearby and shouted HELLOOOOO a few times and ANYBODY THERE and WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU????

I checked my watch just in time to see it tick over from 11:59 am to 12:00 pm. And I took a photo of sign and it was dead on noon.



It was clear that the boothling had screwed off a few minutes early. Why would Avis let me book a car for 12:00 noon when the kiosk closes at that time?

So I had an hour to kill at Mirage, and there was nothing to do. No fun to be had. No distractions, diversions, or entertainments. What was I going to do?





Well, I had $34 in freeplay so I played that out on video Keno. And lost it all.

Then I lost another $100 on video Keno (which is a terrible game, you should never play it).

Now I was fuming and on 100% tilt. I shoved $100 into dollar Bonus Poker. And I did get a quad. Did I cash it out?



Not on your life. I played that into the ground.

Now I was down $500 on the day, and I had accomplished none of our plan. $100 went into Buffalo Revolution at 80 cents a spin. I played that down to $20 and had not had any bonus rounds.

So, I bumped it to $2.40 a spin and... and... I went out. Again.

I looked at the meter and I had $2.39 left. So I had to drop to $1.60 and... of course I hit free games.

I won $35 on that and played it all into the ground. I was down $600 on the day, with less than 2 hours play.

I was steamed. Pissed. Furious, as I walked to the Avis counter at exactly 1:00.

The time-challenged troll behind the counter was very chatty and tickey typey.

I tried to get the paperwork done saying as little as possible. I was fucking livid.

On the desk, was a printout featuring a list of customers that were picking up cars, and what time they were scheduled for.

She consulted it and there I was, all right, clearly on the list for 12:00 sharp dead-ass noon top-o-the fucking sundial zero twelve hundred fucking balls o'fucking clock.

It didn't help that I couldn't understand anything she squeaked at me. I had to constantly asking her to repeat herself.

Finally, everything paperwork-wise was done, and I had a set of keys. I gritted my teeth.

And I told her how frustrating it was to be on time and to find out she'd left early for lunch. (I didn't mention how she forced me to lose $300 in the wasted hour.)

She said, "The computer tells me what time it is."

This was the wrong thing to say. Totally.

The right thing was to say 'I'm sorry you were here and I was not available to serve you even though you had a reservation, because I was shoving customer body part stew into my greasy pug face back under my troll bridge and watching Judge Judy for my full fucking lunch hour plus ten minutes.'

I told her, "Then your computer's wrong."

And I told her, "I have a photo of the sign taken at exactly noon, and you weren't there putting the lunch sign up as I walked to the desk."

And I told her, "If you are going to leave at noon you should leave exactly at noon. And how annoying it is that I booked a car for noon, but nobody told me you close for lunch. And that you have my name on the bloody hit list, so you knew I was booked for noon."

Of course, it was all for nothing. Trolls only care about themselves and the next episode of Judge Fucking Judy. I don't know how I managed to keep my temper through all that.

And as I walked away toward the casino, I heard her little sarcastic troll puppet voice shouting at my back, "Have a nice DAYYYYY SIRRRRRRRR!"

And that's when I snapped.

I didn't turn around, but I did say very loudly what I had been thinking this whole time.

"FUCK. YOU."

I was so angry I was about to piss my pants in nine different directions and call myself a lawn feature.

And of course, I couldn't find the parking garage. Because I'd gone left from the desk instead of right, having never been in the Mirage parking structure before. I wandered all the way to the elevators, thinking it was back there somehow.

Naturally, I wandered and stumbled for a full ten minutes through the casino before asking someone for help. To get to the parking garage, I had to go all the way back and cross directly in front of Avis Troll Alley, where I'd just yelled at the counter minion 'Fuck You'.

I don't like swearing at people, or boothlings, or trolls, and even though I think it was somewhat warranted, I felt a little embarrassed.

I found a group of five people moving together through the lobby and paced myself beside them, letting them block for me, lest she should shoot me with Avis Troll Darts or something.

The car was on the seventh level of the parking structure. I found it, and it was a complete disaster.

I thought I'd had some dirty rental vehicles before but this one took the crown. It was filthy. Someone had made a half-hearted attempt at 'washing' parts of it, probably with a couple of Hardee's or Carl's Jr. napkins.







The keys worked, and I got in and started it up, and rolled off to the car park exit.

Except I couldn't find it. I was still seeing red, seething, furious, angry, and frustrated.

On the third lap around the seventh parking level, tears in my eyes from all the stress, I wondered, "How have I fucked my trip up so bad?"

 

You are such a talented comedic writer. Only one other author can make me laugh the way you do, David Sedaris. But, today, I think I read my favorite written line ever: "I was so angry I was about to piss my pants in nine different directions and call myself a lawn feature." I could read your pieces all day.

 

Bloody brilliant ! I agree with Smerrian I’ve got tears rolling down my face with laughter

 

I’ll second props for the Tampa airport! My niece lives in St. Pete and I love flying in and out of there.

 

I can't wait to hear about the rest of your trip. I hope it goes uphill from here and Quad Queen gets some quads and you get some payback. Somehow. Somewhere!

 

I had to call on Mr. Google. Thunderbirds sounds interesting. 1960s series and then a 2004 live-action with Brains played by Anthony Edwards. Was it any good?

""Brains" Real Name Hiram K. Hackenbacker Employer International Rescue Occupation Head engineer and mechanic Family and Known Associates Jeff Tracy (boss) Grandma Tracy (friend) Scott Tracy (friend) John Tracy (Friend) Virgil Tracy (friend) Gordon Tracy (friend) Alan Tracy (friend) Kayo (friend) Colonel Casey (friend)"

 

So, Flusher my friend...I am concerned about the giant piece of your car that is missing. I am more concerned that that company has the balls to be renting out Kia's since they are currently being stolen at an alarming rate here in the US. I am equally concerned that when I type Flusher, my phone keeps insisting on typing Flasher.

 

at least our hero has a time stamped picture....

 

I am craving a delicious sandwich, to the point I already started adding food to my Instacart even though I don't get home until October 2. I'd eat the fuck out of your punishment sandwich right now.

 

Everybody Was Kung Pao Fighting

Thursday Feb 16 - Day 3 part 2

I called the Quad Queen from the top of the Mirage parking structure.

It had been so long since I left the room, so I checked in and offered to pick her up pronto. But she asked me if I was hungry and I was - famished. And so, she said, you should go and eat as planned.

Fair enough.

Finally I found my way out of there and headed west on Spring Mountain Road to Chinatown.

There's a little hole in the wall greasy chop stick Szechuan place in there called the All Seasons Diner, where I had Kung Pao chicken in May 2022 - but couldn't taste it. Probably from Covid, even though I never tested positive.

And I tried again in December, only to find the place lined up out the door.

Today, I would finish my quest for tasty Kung Pao chicken from the All Seasons Diner! It was an easy drive across on Spring Mountain, and I found a very good parking spot, very near the restaurant. First win of the day!





Lunch was the Kung Pao, and the strangest pot stickers I've ever got stuck with. They were good. And steamed rice of course.





Finally, I had the meal I'd been craving for, well years - since the start of the pandemic.

It was ok.

Next stop, Wynn. I coordinated with Mrs. Flusher on a pickup point and time. I was there, and so was she, and I turned the filthy Avismobile north, and then west, bound for our real plan of the day - Red Rock Hotel and Casino.

 

You Can't Always Get What You Want

Thursday Feb 16 - Day 3 part 2

What a great property Red Rock Casino and Hotel is! The casino is modern, but not sterile. It's colorful and warm, the music is decent, and there is tons of stuff to play there. And there are dining options to satisfy every appetite.

The only downside is room comps are hard to generate for visitors.




We found some video poker machines and the Quad Queen seemed to do all right. But since I was in a $600 hole already, I was slow playing it, trying desperately to hit something on dollar video poker.

I'd play a hand, take a sip, look around, watch the Quad Queen, play another hand, change games, scratch my butt, check my phone, play a hand, look around.

It was nothing doing and I lost $100 and then another $100 on dollar video keno. Boy, I was down deep and getting depressed about it.




So, we moved elsewhere in the casino and settled in for what would be quite a long stint. The Quad Queen was getting some hits on video poker, so I hunted around for some desperation slots to play.

I tried a few things and finally got a bit of luck on Buffalo.







I got on this other video slot and managed to play for ages. Finally some things were happening. I'd go down and then hit a bonus. Go down again, hit a bonus.







Eventually, my credits petered out, so I went to find Mrs. F, and she was still plugging away, but down about $200.

I decided to play one more hundy.

The Quad Queen was rewarded with pointies, the $200 win putting her even on the day. Yay!!! That was helpful because I was down almost $1000 (ulp).



I was on the end machine of the bank of progressives. And I was down. It was getting close to zero and I Lazarused a few times, bouncing off the bottom of the credit meter. Some winning hands gave me a bit of running room and the decision was I'd cash out at 400 credits, or if I got another quad.

That way, I could at least salvage something from what was a pretty horrid day, for the most part.

Wouldn't you know it, I worked my way up to 400 credits even.

And I stopped, ready to cash out, showing extreme self control.

"Play some more," said the Quad Queen.

"You think so?"

"Play some more!"

I played Triple Double Bonus, and we chattered on, stopping to concentrate on any 'almost' hand. Like three Aces and a kicker. Or three Deuces. Or a pair of Jacks.

On I played, listening to the Rolling Stones. "You can't always get what you want..."

If you've read this blog for any length of time, you know that music plays a big part in my casino, and travel experience. And sometime, things line up just like a movie soundtrack.

I was thinking about how the song was building and building, reaching an extended climax, and how that would be a fitting accompaniment to hitting a jackpot.

I held two Aces, hit Draw and BOOM just like that, it all filled in! Holy shit! Aces kicker for $1000!!!!!


But if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need - POINTIES!!!!!!!!!!!

I knew I had it just as soon as it was dealt, and I was up out of my seat. "YES!!!!!!"

I pounded my hands on the armrest and got out, put my arms in the air, and jogged a victory lap around the entire bank of machines.

What a great feeling! Back from nothing, my day was saved! These are the moments in Vegas that might only come once a trip, might not come at all during a trip, but make the experience other-worldly. And if you are a degenerate like me, you know just what I mean.



The Stones song was still building, like a rapture, and we rocked out and sang along. I felt like I could ascend through the ceiling except I had to cash out $1,100 - putting me up on the day!


To cement the celebration, we left Red Rock and stopped in at Walmart for supplies.


But as sure as my name is Lucky Day, the people of Santa Poco can conquer their own personal El Guapo, who also happens to be *the actual* packaged El Guapo chilis!



Back in the room, we had drinks, and room camping dinner. Deli sandwiches for the Quad Queen, and heated pulled pork on French bread with dill slices. And it was delicious.

QQ Day +$0 Trip -$500
RF Day +$100 Trip +$100
Combined -$400 after three days.

 

Congrats on the great hit! Love a comeback story.

 

shivers,
if you've read any of my TRs, you know music plays a big part in establishing my mental winning mindset, whether it works or not.

like the double pointies comeback would make me think this,


behind every great man, and all that...

 

Listening now - that's pretty good! Like the bass line.

 

Nice comeback.

 

Holy cow that was painful. I’m definitely in agreement with you on those Florida drivers, I feel like Florida has the worse drivers in the country. On a related note before moving to Florida had you ever said FU to a car rental employee?