Gaggles Semi Live from Ballys

February 11th paid out for those who were betting on such things.....

 

Well it's been a busy couple of days and this is my first update. Once again you guys my updates have been lacking. Just enjoying a Stoly Screwdriver from the Diamond Lounge. I had ordered a Grey Goose but was rudely reminded they don't serve that top shelf in here anymore. I wonder how much money we have to lose to get a GG comped! Frikkin CET!

So we got the hell out of Kalispell and landed among palm trees. Allegiant Air was late as usual. I'm certain no airline runs later than them. Anyone got a web site that tracks that (Question mark not working on this computer)

So arrive at Planet Hollywood and schmooze the front desk girl. Ask for upgrade and she calls host who gives me a Resort Room with a strip view. Bing Bing! First win. The view is almost as good as the December trip when Beejay had us hooked up at Cosmo.

Get ready and hit the bar tops of course. Sidle up to a game of DDBP short pay of course! Thom (Thom real spelling) proceeds to violate the five of us with hard pours and excessive speed. Thom was working at the Extra bar or soemthing like that. Well I start hitting almost immediately. Premium quads but no kickers! After the gf and I have about 6 drinks each I cash out up about $75. Nothing huge but I like to think PH paid me to get my drink on. My friend Big Sack ran through his $100 and is just about the most unlucky guy in the world. our myster guest absconded with my gf to the other side of the bar playing $2DDBP and walked away with $2300 worth of TITO's!

Across the street to Cosmo where things get kooky....

 

We stumble into Cosmo and hit a VP bar but nor before I was reminded this morning of this little nugget.

Somehow while walking into the casino I get in the middle of a staggette and was handed a box of extra large condoms. Apparently I walked around with this in my hand for 10-15 minutes. I really do not remember this. The gf reminded me this morning. While carrying these box of XL's I profess to anyone who will listen these are waaayyyy to big for me. GF was quite proud. As fate would have it I bumped into another staggette and eventually parted with the box of jimmies.

Went to players desk and got my players card bumped to Gold due to my Diamond status. I am not sure what that gets me at this point but a bump is a bump. We hit another bar top and things begin to get blurry. So drunk am I that I am unaware that I am playing .50 rather than .25. I come to that realization when I hit quad aces with kicker for a cool $1000!. Then dealt quad 2's. Bing Bing draw and get kicker. DDBP is pretty darn swell when you get those premium quads and the aces were fabulous. But I swear I was unaware for about an hour. At around 12:30 I begin to realize I am drinking like a Viking.

At one point I look over at the craps tables and flat out realize I am too drunk to shoot dice. Not good. This had to end so we cross the street to get some steak and eggs. Somehow despite 11 quads and all those big hands I am only up about $750. But not complaining.

By this time we are down to just three of us. All I remember is this. We sat down in the PH restaurant, I didn't order, just looked at menu. Got up and ran to Earl of Sandwich. Do not ask why. My friends even ordered steak and eggs for me! Grabbed my sandwich and went to bed. I did not know I did this until the am. But good friends that I have they brough my steak and eggs to me. In the morning I opened the door too find them hanging in a bag on the door handle but I had no idea why they were there. And no I did not eat them. But I sure thought about it.

Gf was yacking all night, I felt like I had waater in my lungs as I was cooughing all night. Apparently that happens to us non smokers when we are smoking all night! Also got up around noon and saw gf had puke bucket beside our bed! We are soo classy in Vegas!

The afternoon consisted of Cosmo buffet which we managed to get comped and a short walk around the mall in PH. Then a nap and here I am updating you as promised from the PH lounge which I have to say I do not care for all that much.

Room is great. Company is good. Up for trip. Weather is awesome. Saw people down in the pool today! Must be from Minnesota!

So backk to enjoy a drink with gf and mystery guest before we head down to MGM for the night. Wish me luck. So far this has been a great trip.

I am certain more things will come up from last night but I swear I was as drunk as I have ever been in my life. And Earl of Sandwich is all it's made up to be. Ya gotta try it if you have never been.

Once more into the breach......

 

Funny thing I just noticed. The pic from Beejays post is the exact view I have from the 17th floor. This is a wierd coincidence......

 

Magnum Condoms at Cosmo Gift Shop: $5.34

Gaggles Penis Length: 5.34 millimeters (Canadian Metric)


Gaggles Posing with said Condoms and staggette girls for picture, THEN throwing them at Live Band: Priceless!!!

I'm not saying who the mystery guest is, but he texted me during the festivities and said Gaggles must have blown out his left tire because he was walking into the left wall all thru Bellagio, redefining homeless drunk.

Other random observations:

When you get so much lipstick on your cheek that later in the night some guy asks how you got that huge bruise, you are partying with the right people.

When you only get two quads all night, they might as well be ducks and one with an ace kicker. If your buddy is in the bathroom when you hit them, his girlfriend is good luck.

If a guy dumps about $2K into craps without ever seeing a point made, then a $100 hi/lo is due.

Rumor has it Cosmo Platinum level gets a LOT of respect and nice/VIP treatment throughout the casino, including entry to a mysterious "Identity Club Lounge" with posh seating, fancy decor, excellent drinks, waitress served super fancy appetizers...and a brownie with a gold flake on it.

If your buddy goes to Earl of Sandwich while you are ordering and later delivering Steak & Eggs to his door handle in a bag, it is a reminder that Earl of Sandwich makes an excellent APPETIZER while you wait for steak and eggs from room service.



If you have more W2's than yacking sessions, you aren't drinking enough. An Earl of Sandwich followed shortly by room service may also remedy this situation.

9:00am Sat and Sun slot tourney times at Rio are likely to result in a no-show.

When Gaggles and his girlfriend say they are too sick to go to Cosmo buffet, then later tell you THEY WENT to said buffet which you have been craving for two months, and meanwhile you settle for dining alone, in your room, on takeout P.F. Changs while setting two plates and talking to the bag like it is Tom Hanks volleyball in Castaway, you should for your own sanity assume that he is lying and actually ate at McDonalds with his GF:

 

One other observation.

If you meet at 8pm in the diamond lounge for drinks, jokingly flick a Viagra across the table at your buddy who pockets it, and then said buddy, who NEVER gets off the degenerate video poker donkey progressives at Bally's before 4am heads back to the room with his GF before midnight, he deserves to see this video, which could, would, and should have been him playing rather than "playing":

<embed width="600" height="361" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowFullscreen="true" allowNetworking="all" wmode="transparent" src="http://static.photobucket.com/player.swf" flashvars="file=http%3A%2F%2Fvid781.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fyy93%2FBeeeeJay%2FFebruary%25202011%2520PHo%2FVIDEO_064.mp4">

 

havent been all inclusive with hte camera but got a couple shots of some interest;

 

I would be happy with those hands at the quarter level!

 

Nice trip report boys. Good read

 

Mystery Guest

Your mystery guest is of course BeeJay--the pics show it and the his comment (we were able to use platinum to jump a mile long cab line at MGM last night......decent benefit. ) just adds to it as there is no MGM casinoes in the Chicago area.
So do I win a prize-LOL-

 

Hey I could be at MGM Grand Detroit!!! and that Elgin casino is half owned by MGM. :evillaugh

Well the 3 card poker practice paid off as my "system" worked perfectly, although the imperfections caused me to slide down to my final $25, which I bet only on the bonus spot and got this hand:



and a short while later completed the journey from $1,000 buy-in to $25 left to $2,000 cash out based on this hand:



after all my carny drunken throwing away of money I am locking in a 4-figure win of $1,000, although it is gonna be tough cause that leaves me like $300 to play with tonight. I think I can go quarters JOB and do it!!!

 

I think the fact that we managed to keep the mystery guest thing a secret when Beejay usually starts his TR's about a month ahead of time is really quite an accomplishment right up there with the WMD from the George Bush days. In fact, if my memory is correct, they still haven't found those WMD's.

In any event, my apologies for the terrible "Semi Live" thing happening on this one. I will try to update this over the next two days to fill in the blanks. I am making up for some of my degeneracy today.

I am going on the record right now however and saying I don't recall being in the Bellagio for one second on Thursday. In fact, I think it was Beejay who was so drunk he is recalling another trip!

I am swamped with work but I will say this very quickly:

Jersey Boys was awesome and our seats were middle balcony, second row. Great show cannot recommend enough.

The fancy schmancy lounge (Diamond Lounge type thing) they had going at Cosmo was waaaayyy to nice for guys like Beejay and I. But it was so oquiet and empty. We arrived at about 9 pm on Friday and there was only one other guy in there.

They did provide us with Lobster salad and some Tuna tartare that was good as well as some fancy deserts. So very nice, but where was everyone?

Cosmo upgraded my Players Card to Gold from whatever level it was on the spot but being that I can't get into that lounge without Beejay, I have no idea what those extra benefits will be. Are there any?

So work calls and it took me 6 hours to drive home last night due to two border points being closed due to drifting snow and I am beat after another night of barely five hours of sleep.

Beejay...send more blue pills for Valentines day! I think I will need it!

And I did not throw a pack of condoms at the band. Did I?

 

So late to the game is Friday night. Which, like other nights, is a bit blurry. My Friday and Saturday are no where near as exciting as Thursday so you have been warned.

We awoke Friday after a very first night. I crawled out of bed, moved the gf's puke bucket, which was thankfully empty. However much to my chagrin, the only reason the puke bucket was empty was because she made it to the bathroom several times during the night. Housekeeping!

So while it was easy for me to get out of bed, not so much for others. Initially it looked like chips and gingerale would be all I got for breakfast but after some Tylenol and a shower I talked gf into a Cosmo buffet on me. I think we just made it in under the wire for lunch! I had enough comps to pick up the two buffets and I proceeded to make a swine of myself. At one point I think the sushi chef was getting real tired of me asking for sashimi.

What was next? I think it was back to the room as someone (guess who?) was feeling nauseous again.

Well we persevered and managed to get ready for the night. We met our special guest who as you now know is Beejay down in the PH Diamond Lounge for more pre game cocktails until they kicked us out at 9.

From there we went across the street to sponge off of the Cosmo lounge. We arrived to see...no one! In fact I thought it was closed. Two lovely young ladies assured us it was not and quickly offered us lobster salad and tuna tartare. (Did I spell that right?)

This lounge was very nice with dark colours, huge shelves of books that I'm note sure were even real but it impressed me. There are fancy looking deserts on each table for those of us that need to soak up too much free booze and a huge screen imbedded into the mirror in front of us. Very nice for those of us who can slither our way in.

But all good things must end and we were kicked out at 10 with go-cups in hand. Down to the Cosmo floor I think???? For some bar top DDBP.

A few low quads but nothing real memorable. Eventually we left and hopped into the nicest cab in Vegas. Beejay was it just me or did this thing smell brand new? We had a fun cab driver and tipped him well for the short drive to Bally's and the FP DDBP near the Keno lounge.

As usual, the drink service was good and I hit more quads on the what I feel is one of the loosest banks in the city.

Somewhere in here we lost Beejay. I'm sure it was to Mississippi Stud or 3 Card Poker.

Then the wall hit. Hard. It was only 12:30 on a Friday in Vegas and I was conceding to an early night. So we did. On the way Earl of Sandwich beckoned. I had the Turkey Club and gf ordered a fabulous grilled cheese. That ended with probably my second earliest night in Vegas for a very long time. And I was still up for the trip by about $4-500.

I received a couple texts from some degenerate from Chicago asking WTF I was but by then we were in our room. It only took you 2 hours to notice we were gone you drunk!

Night 3 coming up............

 

I for one was highly surprised BeeeJay was your 'Mystery Guest'! Isn't that like the pope taking off for Easter?!:evillaugh

 

So what was the route the taxi took to get to Ballys? Don't you have to turn right onto Harmon from the lower lobby and then around the back to flamingo to Bally's?

Seems a lot longer then walking especially if you had to walk to back of the Cosmo in the first place lol.....

Or were BJ's heels too uncomfortable for the walk?

 

Day three began with no trip to Qua which was disappointing as I really wanted to go. What's with that role reversal going on? I wanted to go but the gf didn't. Wild, wacky stuff.

So, off to the MGM poker room while gf chills out. This trip was needed as poker room comps run out after 6 months and I had about $75 sitting there that I didn't want to lose. I also really enjoy the room even though it was a little early (11 am).

So I waltzed down the strip and enjoyed the morning. Not a lot of action on Saturday morning and no seats at the 1/2 so they asked me if I wanted to play 2/5. I said why not and went over to see a 3 handed game. No thanks. I will wait for the 1/2. Minutes later it started up. A perfect mix of local rocks, newbies, and a couple fish. I would like to consider myself one of the better players at the table but I wouldn't say I was the best. According to my Iphone Pokertrak App I am a career winning player with a 59.52% winning percentage.

However, as my fellow poker enthusiasts know, you can only make so many moves and create so many opportunities. You have to get cards sometimes! My first hand was pocket 7's....nada. Then a little later 8's, flop nada. I knew if I could catch someone I would win a stack so I chose to min raise or flat call with those little pairs most of the time. I had aces back to back and won one big pot but only the blinds on the second. Better than flat calling and losing a stack right?

On my 9th hand I finally flopped a set of 8's. One guy went all in on the flop another flat called and I raised him out as the board was double suited with 2 face cards. Well the board flushes and fills out a four card straight but the all in guy on only had top pair (10's). I absolutely made the right move raising the other guy out!

Finished that session with a small win but saw an excruciating hand all of us have run into. I fold to raise of $15. Flop comes A 10 rag. Turn K. Well you guessed it. Pocket K's vs A's that were obviously slow played. I think all of us have thought we were winners hitting our two outer only to be out tripped! Ouch! I felt for the guy. "CCCHHHIIIPPPSSSS"

Win locked in, comps preserved, soup from the diner by sportsbook for breakfast, walk back to PH......

 

I must be getting old. As I was walking back to PH from MGM I found the hustle starting to grind on me. Am I the only one who's tired of guys trying to hustle me their crappy rap CD's? Am I the only guy that is tired of people dressed up as all kinds of TV and movie characters to hustle a couple bucks?

Don't get me wrong, it's not like its a dishonest living, but some of these costumes are getting pretty lame. Jack Sparrow always looks good and is in character but I'm seeing guys and having no idea who they are.

But in any event I get back to PH and just can't bring myself to quite yet go back to the room. Find a a bank of .25 DDBP and sit down. I can't recall if they were 5/9 or 5/8/ Probably 5/8. After a couple quads and jumping all over all six of them I succumb to a $75 loss and go back up to my room.

We lug our bodies down to get some eats and since I love Mexican we stop at Yolo's. Mistake. Service was great, food not so much. We played it real safe with chicken nachos and quesadilla's and they were brutal. Truthfully I don't even know if nachos and quesadilla's count as Mexican??? I usually get something more authentic. Oh well. Lesson learned.

Because it is late in the day the spa is out and we get ready to get even with CET through free Diamond Lounge drinks. Beejay shows up or did he? I can no longer remember? I think he did. This trip is blurry a week later. Well actually it was blurry from the moment I landed.

Actually he didn't show, we met him down at some bar tops for a few drinks. Beejay was in rare form . A little drunk, a little disheveled, and looking wiped out.

So we bid the man from Chicago farewell and were off to Jersey Boys.

 

I was slightly irritated by our cabbie who insisted on going down Las Vegas Blvd on a Saturday at 6 because it would be faster than Koval. Did anyone believe that logic? Oh well, in any event we arrive to the show a little late. The Palazoo was packed and a lot of fun. We score second row middle balcony seats that could not have been better. I prefer the balcony to the mosh pit below.

Show was great and I cannot recommend it enough. I think I would see it again. Theater was only about 2/3 full though. I'm sure that had more to do with it being February than anything else.

We wanted to get a snack before another night of drinking but the line for Grand Lux was crazy big and then some carny slots called our name. My gf loves Cougarlicious and hit a bonus round on max bet for some fun stuff. Of course we ended up cashing out with nothing!

We started our long march to meet Big Sack and his gf at Harrahs. The Venetian was even busier than the Palazoo. Through the Casino Royale because it was just a little cold and met at Harrah's bar tops as you walk in the door. Not a time share person in sight but every bar top on these tight frikkin short pay machines was full. So we waited. Big Sacks's gf hit quad aces twice but....was only two betting! Yikes! We muddled around an empty machine and went over to the FP Progressives just around the corner from there. I did hit a couple of quads but again, nothing much happening or preventing another $100 slipping away.

We needed a change up from the gambling so we went across to the Mirage to see what was going on at Jet. Apparently girls drink free until midnight! This has disaster written all over it.

 

Since my friend was staying at the Mirage we managed to get in right away through one of the 3-4 lines they have forming at the entrance. What a joke. It was a line up for the sake of lining people up. Whatever. We got in quickly.

Now I guess the deal is girls get a couple drink tickets when they roll in but the ladies we were with kept turning these things up from everywhere. They just bounced around from one bartender to the other getting drinks for the four of us and tipping well. Clearly the secret to any successful Vegas heist.

Cannot tell you how many drinks we had. Jet is not my favourite place but we did a little drinking and a little dancing and it was a nice change up that was sorely needed.

But all good things must come to and end and so was our last night. Despite Beejay saying we had already been to the Bellagio, I do not remember bumping into any walls. I have had a lot of luck at the Bellagio progressives so clearly I was going to hit again right?

 

Enjoying the post report recap. Needing this to get through the next 7 days. I've gotten tired of the hustle. The 'dressed up' character about did it for me, althought the rap artists hawking their cd is not a favorite of mine either. I can handle the crowds on the sidewalk, the impromptu 3 card monty setups, the pornslappers, even the timeshare hawks to a degree, but the water sellers, the guitar players, and costumed freaks can all get lost. My biggest issue with them is not that they are there, it's just with the crowds already it's becoming damn near impossible to walk.