Turtleman's (Unintended) Solo Trip Aug. 14-23

For those lucky enough to have missed my sad story about being suddenly dumped by my girlfriend (Ms. Gecko), a week before our planned Vegas trip, you can catch up on "Who else has incredibly rotten luck?" and "Dating Thread Suggestion." We were only living together for 15 years! It's really pathetic, so if you're a glutton for punishment, have a box of tissues handy. Anyway, during the last episode of this drama, I had just made new room reservations to replace those in her name and had pretty much decided to make the trip by myself. I sure didn't feel like going, but thought I just needed to get away. Here's the update:

Friday, Aug 14: Riding MARTA (the rail system) to the airport in the predawn hours instead of driving with Ms. Gecko was one of the sadist hours of my life. Not being able to get into the Sky Club preceding the 4-hour flight, and her unfilled seat next to mine, was equally depressing. Essentially, I was the walking dead with no anticipation or joy. Fortunately, I didn't encounter any problems and was able to get into my comped premium room at Gold Coast before 11 am. I'm not sure I could have coped very well had problems developed.

I've enjoyed several solo trips over the years, but being alone under the circumstances was anything buy enjoyable. I had to force myself to go down to the casino and played mostly BJ and a little bar top VP. Most uncharacteristically, I pretty much stuck with newbie style minimum flat betting and the basic strategy. I wasn't the least bit interested and played just to pass the time with minimal risk; not a very good reason to be in a casino. The next day was a carbon copy.

By some twist of fate, I had just signed up on one of those free on-line dating sites and was contacted by someone living in Vegas. To make it short, she drove over to GC and we shared some wine at the Red Zone, probably the quietest area in the entire casino. From there, we went to the Peppermill and more wine, and then she dropped me at Bellagio, where I had intended view the kabuki show. That was dumb. After standing in the triple digits for an hour and a half, it was nearly impossible to catch even a glimpse of the stage through the humongous crowds. And while the giant carp projected onto the fountains was neat, it held my interest for less than a minute. I was happy to get back to GC after spending nearly 30 minutes just trying to cross the pedestrian bridge over Flamingo. Without a doubt, it was the largest crowd I've ever encountered and I half expected the bridge to give way.

Sunday, Aug. 16: The next day, an ex-pit boss buddy picked me up from GC and took me to my next hotel, MSS. Again, no problem checking in early and I demonstrated a computer program I've been developing on his laptop. I spent the rest of the day playing more BJ and VP at the Boars Head, again just to kill time, which was repeated the following day. I got a generous comp for the 777 and had a long enjoyable conversation with another solo gambler, which helped to pass the time.

Tuesday, Aug. 18: Took the WAX to Suncoast and got into my premium golf view room right away. As at GC, the Orleans, and MSS, I had to explain to a least a dozen more cocktail waitress, dealers, and pit critters why Ms. Gecko (and Vern the Turtle) weren't there. They were as surprised as I was to hear what had happened. I played mostly Pai Gow, and like before, just passed the time.

Wednesday, Aug.19: Timed things perfectly so the WAX arrived at Binion's 5-minutes before the Sam's Town bus left from directly across the street at the Fremont. I was able to sweet-talk my way into a premium room, mainly for the coffee service, and spent the next two days at Sam's Town playing low limit BJ, VP, and Pai Gow. Once more I had to explain where my ex and turtle were. Unlike previous visits, I didn't play any craps, Three Card Poker, or have any fun. The time passed slowly, at least until my new-found friend joined me for happy hour at Billy Bob's the following afternoon. That was fun.

Friday, Aug. 21: New friend picked me up at Sam's and we had breakfast at the D before playing a little VP. From there, she dropped me at GC, where the trip began seven days earlier. Again, there's isn't much to report, except I was feeling a bit better and was able to bet a bit more aggressively there and at the Orleans. Amazingly, I got both Queen of Hearts with a $1 Lucky Ladies side bet with the dealer showing an Ace. Unfortunately, she didn't have a BJ, which would have paid 1000:1, but I was happy just to get the $200. The exact same thing happened on Saturday - the two QOH's with a dealer ace - and again, no BJ. (I couple years ago I did get the $1000 pay out, but not this trip.) Feeling a lot better, I got a comp for the seafood buffet and pigged out. I had lost so much weight, I couldn't do any damage - and still can't. And while I usually hate eating out alone, especially at a buffet, it didn't bother me that night for some strange reason.

Sunday, Aug. 23: Friend picked me up at GC and we had breakfast at Coco's on Tropicana before she took me to the airport and another sad flight. Naturally, I couldn't get into the Centurion Lounge,either. All-in-all, it was the most miserable Vegas trip out of the hundred taken previously. I usually tally the damage before leaving Vegas, but I still haven't and probably won't. Nonetheless, I know I finished within $100 from where I started 10 days earlier, and that's after transportation, room, meals, drinks, tips, and gambling. I may have even made a few bucks, so I guess playing slow and stupid at least didn't cost me anything. I'm still in touch with my new Vegas friend and we'll meet up again. Unfortunately, there's no real chemistry between us, but a new friend beats a sharp stick in the eye any day. Her homework assignment is to check out potential housing in the Green Valley area.

Sorry, I know this is far less than an exciting trip report; in fact, it's downright depressing, but it is what it is. Or as the French say, "c'est la vie," such is life! Maybe I'll try again around Halloween. Meanwhile, I have to figure out where to move and what to do with my tons of furniture, books, electronics, etc. I've been too paralyzed to deal with it, but need to real soon. I'm even seriously considering moving to Vegas, as there's precious little keeping me in Atlanta other than a couple friends, dentist, eye doctor, barber, and the familiarity of having lived here for 35 years. My son will graduate with a degree in business in December, and it's no telling where he'll be moving - possibly Denver. If uncertainly were worth its weight in gold, I'd be a zillionaire!

 

Sorry to hear the trip didn't do much to lift your spirits but it is better than sitting home feeling miserable and you made a new friend! This too shall pass.

 

wow.

I wasn't depressed before, but now I have the sudden urge to jump off a bridge.

hopefully the trip was actually better than it sounded.....

 

Hope things get better for you over time. Took me a little while with my ex-fiancee as she sorta blindsided me too a decade ago and she moved out. Ironically, she actually is getting married tomorrow.

The way it read though, it was rough. Hopefully you have more fun next time. And it's rough when you're a remembered guest at all these hotels. People are curious and will want to know.

And although you say there is no chemistry between you. It's sounds like the friend you made was quite willing to hangout. I'm thinking she likes you if she bothered to meet you 3 times!

 

Things will get better. Don't forget there's another bus by in ten min., or another fish in the sea..
Glad you got back in the saddle and went to Vegas. Another chapter starts soon.

 

Just read your trip report. Sorry to hear about your predicament. I went back and read the thread where you described what happened between you and Ms. Gecko.

But you got up and went to Vegas anyway. Good for you. Things will get better. Good Luck and hang in there!

 

All the best, mate.

With things like this, there isn't anything anyone can say. Just remember there are people in your life that care about you and in time, you will overcome. Just gotta wait out the shitty part.

 

Breaking up is a grieving process and it just takes time -- taking the trip was a step in the right direction. You don't know what is out there unless you take those walks.

 

Well I think one of the keys to moving on is to go to Vegas with somebody new, stay at someplace I usually never stay at. Which is what I did.

 

Thanks, I think that's great advice, although it will be hard to give up free rooms to stay somewhere else. Now I just have to find somebody new!

 

Yeah but sometimes avoiding the friendly questions is worth it. Also if you bring a different woman most people won't ask about your ex gf, especially if you are doing couple things. Good thing I hardly ever gambled with my ex, so don't have those memories. But I will not play wheel in Singapore now because that's the only time we gambled together...actually hit 20 for 68 units x 5000....

 

Sorry this wasn't your usual fun romp, Mr Turtle.

 

Holy Cats! That was quite a depressing read.

On a side note, after my separation/divorce, I moved across the country for a new beginning. Best decision Ive ever made. Best of Luck!

 

You fall off the horse, you have to get back on!

Think long and hard about moving to Vegas. Don't do a knee jerk reaction.

Thanks for posting a complete, one piece TR! I'm at the point when I see "live" I just skip it.

 

Thanks Joe. I've mentioned "getting back on the horse that threw ya" and "when life hands you lemons ... " on my profile on a few dating sites. I'm trying really hard, but it isn't easy when feeling more confused, overwhelmed, lonely, and betrayed than any time in my entire life. We're talking all-time low. And while I'd tell anyone else in the same leaky boat that things will definitely improve, it doesn't help at the moment.

After 100 trips to Vegas, and I'm talking about a lot more familiarity with the city than just casinos (including what you've posted previously), I think I have a pretty good idea what I'd be in for. It appears that comparable home prices are half what they are around here, and of course, there's always plenty of things to do in Vegas. I need a fresh start, there's little keeping me here, so why not?

 

I'm all for "getting back on the horse" and all, but I think people need to take some time after a relationship ends before jumping right into a new one.

 

Thanks Breanna, that's the same advice I would give someone in the same position. It may take some time before I get into a new (and hopefully much better) relationship anyway, but I'm unwilling to intentionally go into hibernation. I truly believe that a new someone will go a long way toward getting over the old someone.

In any case, at least I can't be accused of hijacking THIS thread!

 

So sorry that life is in such an uproar for you and that it took the edge of delight off your winning trip.

We are all very different in these circumstances, but I'll share mine.

When I left a 25 year marriage, I came to this house on the lake that I was still fixing. There were in many places no walls, ceilings, floors. I took my clothes and a bed and left my ex all the rest of everything we had collected. A while later I took my books and some family heirlooms. I have a lot of books. Those filled a pick up truck and sat a long while in plastic bags in a room with no bookshelves.

I told my friends who wanted to help that I was fine, but I would like not to be talked about, like not to be a rumor. Part of that was to avoid the need to explain to everyone what was up. Some folks where I taught school knew nothing about the breakup for over a year.
And I told them I could use household goods that they never wanted back because I had nothing and no money.
The house was furnished in no time. But then I am a frugal guy, so practical thrift store stuff was fine to fill in hand me downs.

Now after about 23 years of collecting stuff. I can't imagine where all this crap came from. We are trying to sort this out so we can die without encumbering children, and it is just too much work.

My attitude was I did not want to be monogamous or marry again. I went to some great singles clubs, met and dated lots of women, actually anyone with whom I had any one thing in common. So, there was the one twenty years my junior who liked to cross country ski with me, one a few years older who like folk music and sailboating, one who was fairly reclusive and lived only with her books, one who liked the movies, one who was a professional story teller, one who liked swing dancing, one who was a great lover, and I just kept gathering a community, being very honest that I intended no permanent relationships.
I also stayed away from couples parties. Those were dead ends.
I looked on line, in advertisements, in single's meetings, anywhere where women were not in an established relationship or married.

I would go for coffee with anyone, to dinner with most anyone. And we'd see what developed.
I got plenty of rejections as well. I was philosophical. I've spun the video poker wheels and come up with not even a pair.

And then I met Elizabeth who also did not want to marry, just wanted to take walks. The relationship moved pretty fast. We just seemed to click. That first week I cancelled 5 dates with five other women to concentrate energy on Elizabeth.

We wanted to live separately , but we were forced to move in together because we had 5 boys in common to raise, some of them troublesome, and would never see each other if we lived in separate houses.

We were against getting married. We had little respect for monogamy and plenty for independence.
And we lived that way for about seven years.

Once the kids were raised, we decided to live together in the same space after looking all around at separate houses. It just made financial sense. About seven years later we did a quiet marriage mostly because of the financial benefits, including free health care if she was my official wife before I retired. We had reservations, but it has worked well these past 15 years.

I'm your age now. If I had to start over again, I'd do the same thing, look for friends who had similar interests or new interests and just enjoy those with them. Treasure my independence. Make no promises.

If Elizabeth dies, however, then it might be a different sort of grief.
I've said that I'd go to Costa Rica for at least three months not even speak English with anyone.


But all that is just me. I don't mean it as a model, just as my story. We all handle these things in different ways.

I've read you for a good number of years and I think you are well centered, intelligent, good humored, and won't have difficulty finding companions who enjoy your company.
I recommend that you relax as much as possible, take each day's problems one at a time, and trust that all will settle for you. Embrace new adventures.

Exercise often. For a while when single I could not seem to sleep and I was up cross country skiing at 2 AM across the lake until I could sleep.

Oh, like Joe I am not a fan of the trend in "live" trip reports, so thanks for a finely written one all as a unit, even it is a sad one..

 

I posted a separate thread about losing my wife and asking advice about a solo trip to Vegas.

I was going to take the board's advice and go but after reading this I am not sure I should.

 

Thinking of you bud, hopefully time will help you heal and perhaps a new girl will enter the mix when you least expect it. Also, maybe a move out of atlanta will help, my gf lives there now and (no offense btw) I hate coming down there for what it's worth as I'm constantly bored and can't find anyone who talks about anything I find entertaining ( I'm obviously generalizing ) haha. Hopefully your next trip will be more fruitful and exciting, I'm sure it will be!