Being bullied at work

Totally agree with this. Make a move out of strength not weakness. If the work environment is hostile it will invariably permeate every part of your away from work life; family, friendships, mental health etc. I'd get your resume ready and start looking for another employment opportunity. I would also document the hell out of everything. As for HR, you'll have to walk a fine line here. HR's main reason for existence is to save the company from PR nightmares and lawsuits. Period. As a previous poster mentioned HR is there for the company not for you. I feel for you, and I hope you can resolve this matter sooner rather than later. Just like a relationship that goes south over time we all know in our gut when it's time to leave, but not all of us can when we should. Here's hoping you are able to get another job without too much trouble. Best wishes.....

 

Oy, I've led a sheltered life.

 

So as funny as it may sound what you are really doing is just getting back at the poor slob who has to clean up the mess. What did the janitor or maintenance guy ever do to you?

 

Number one, take a look in the mirror. As a supervisor or manager would. Identify your weaknesses and strengths. If you are going to follow through with approaching the bullying issue, you are going to need to man up and take some criticism, whether you agree with it or not.

Number two, try to have a solution conversation with the supervisor. It's better if you can resolve it on your own than involve the higher ups. Keep it to "I" statements: "I feel like I come into a conversation with you with a good attitude and I leave feeling like crap when I see you (insert rude gesture or comment). Can you keep it to yourself? It sure doesn't help the work." Then pass along the conversation to another supervisor, manager, HR, etc and write it all down. Let's face it, they know the guy's behavior and are hoping no one approaches them formally. Be fair about any progress in his change of behavior. I remember a saying about if you want to know how hard it is to change someone, try changing yourself first. He will not be a different person immediately just because you asked him to. Compliment him on good conversations without using sarcasm. Something like "I liked the tone of your email. I'll get right on the job. Thanks."


When you have tried at least three times and there has been no progress, go to the manager, HR, etc, explain the solutions you have already attempted and ask them what the next step is. Expect pushback. No one wants formal relationship problems, not even you. Remember, if he has rank on you then he is more valuable to the company than you.

Avoid gossiping about him. Document any about you that you hear.

Frankly, I don't know what happens when HR follows through. But I assume it's going to get worse before it gets better. Good luck.

 

no most industrial toilets at offices don't have a local tank, upper decker is usually something that happens when someone crashes a house party

 

I've had to deal w/ a bully ( at work ) for the last 11 or 12 years.
*
Alot of us workers....just can't pick up + leave our jobs.....sorry !
Not in this financial climate + at my age.....it ain't gonna happen !
*
I documented --
however, if you think you will have this wonderful Hollywoodish "Vindication Day In Court"
scenario -- you are kidding yourself.........at least, I was kidding myself.
I've gone up the chain of command.
The bully is allowed to operate because the chain of command ALLOWS IT !
The bully has crawled so far up asses........Command believes the bully makes their job/life easier.
One voice against ( my voice )......is just whining.....a malcontent - complaining ----
my co-workers have been bullied too......but they are actually afraid to confront.
I have confronted The Bully..........the bully (literally) ran into their supervisors office in tears + lied.
as to what + how I confronted them !
I was reprimanded to EAP -- ( Employee Ass'tance Program ) to determine if I was unsafe to work with !
The EAP counselor figured out my situation and gave me ONE GOOD ADVICE.
ALWAYS HAVE A 3rd PARTY PRESENT when speaking w/ The Bully or Supervisors ( who protect the bully ).
I do that now.
I also do NOT SPEAK to the bully at all........I ignore......it drives the bully CRAZY !
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I have more to post......just can't right, now.

 

[QUOTEI've had to deal w/ a bully ( at work ) for the last 11 or 12 years.
*
Alot of us workers....just can't pick up + leave our jobs.....sorry !
Not in this financial climate + at my age.....it ain't gonna happen !
*
I documented --
however, if you think you will have this wonderful Hollywoodish "Vindication Day In Court"
scenario -- you are kidding yourself......... at least, I was kidding myself.
I've gone up the chain of command.
The bully is allowed to operate because the chain of command ALLOWS IT !
The bully has crawled so far up asses........Command believes the bully makes their job/life easier.
One voice against ( my voice )......is just whining..... a malcontent - complaining ----
my co-workers have been bullied too......but they are actually afraid to confront.
I have confronted The Bully..........the bully (literally) ran into their supervisors office in tears + lied.
as to what + how I confronted them !
I was reprimanded to EAP -- ( Employee Ass'tance Program ) to determine if I was unsafe to work with !
The EAP counselor figured out my situation and gave me ONE GOOD ADVICE.
ALWAYS HAVE A 3rd PARTY PRESENT when speaking w/ The Bully or Supervisors ( who protect the bully ).
I do that now.
I also do NOT SPEAK to the bully at all........I ignore......it drives the bully CRAZY !
*
*
I have more to post......just can't right, now. ][/QUOTE]

Almost an exact replay of what my wife went through... a male supervisor and sexual harassment. Upper management (good old boy club), her Union did NOTHING...other co workers afraid to come forward. The company retaliated against my wife for filing the complaint with the EEOC.
Finally, a former co worker (who left the company due to the same harassment by the same supervisor and the plant Superintendent), came forward with a deposition. Soon afterwards, the company settled without going to court.
The supervisor, plant manager and plant superintendent ahhhh "left to pursue other interests." My wife retired from there last year. 90% of the settlement $ went to lawyers...she barely got enough to buy a car circa 1999 prices....but the truth and satisfaction of Right over wrong won.

 

Not sheltered. Just not in which such an inane and childish concept would even register.