You're Packing Your Suitcase For The 702...

I have a day off and I don’t know what to do with myself. I walked to the bank, bought a 1.75 bottle of Absolut and am doing laundry.

God’s Team (the Milwaukee Brewers) aren’t playing on the MLB Network until 2 PM EST, so I probably shouldn’t start drinking that vodka until then.

Proving just how bored I am and having no clue what to do with myself when I’m not working, I figured I’d see if anyone out there could possibly be a bigger nerd than I am when packing up for a trip to Clark County, NV.

It’s pretty much a given that the pictured items will be included with my carry-on on a given trip (minus the blade, if I remember)…and I’m not embarrassed to admit it.


It’s rare that I won’t stay in a hotel room that doesn’t have an oven, so when I feel I’ve donated enough in the casinos and feel like I want to hang myself, I’ll bake a lasagna (hence the pan, you dig)?). Or I’ll bake some smiley face cookies and hand them out to drunk people on the elevators. (then they punch me in the face).

I need my cutting board to cut fruit, cocktail garnish and lasagna (and it’s something I can use if hanging myself doesn’t ‘feel’ right).

Occasionally I’ll bring my Cook Pro Inc. Stainless Steel Cocktail Mixer, but most of the rooms have something along those lines. It’s really for the low-rent hotels downtown when I need to use it.

I bring my own soap because it’s better than any of the crap even the really nice hotels have. It makes me feel real fresh and it lasts me all week long. It’s the kind of soap that has those little shards of glass (or tree bark….crushed granite) baked inside. I don’t know why they do that, but it smells good and has never been the cause of an open wound.

The Bose speaker is arguably the best $200 I’ve ever spent. It’s invaluable to me when I’m mixing booze, cutting up cantaloupe and washing my pale skin. Death metal, punk rock, soft hits from the 70’s, French jazz, you name it. It don’t matter none. This thing work real good.

The one item I stopped packing was my 12 oz bottle of Trader Joe’s Organic Blue Agave…wrapped in bubble wrap. I need it for my Old Fashioneds and Southern Cucumbers, OK? This one time, TSA opened it up, cracked the seal and never bothered to rewrap the bottle of close the lid and I opened my suitcase with all of my hot fashions/hippest designed threads lathered in syrup. I wasn’t too happy, folks.

But it taught me a valuable lesson (other than TSA is completely incompetent). Don’t pack agave. They sell it in stores in Las Vegas, really. You can buy it there. It’s true.

So what completely idiotic, OCD-like sh_t do you have to pack? I’ll be waiting.

XO

 

Golf clubs.

 

Weird. I had to show this to my wife so she will quit making fun of me. I pack k-cups and creamer for the Keurig in the room. After we pack, I Max the 40# weight limit Allegient allows with snacks for the room. Block of cheese, summer sausage, crackers, chips, granola bars; something quick to grab in the morning and late at night. Once it's gone, there is room for souvenirs. I bring a cloth cooler for drinks and leftovers. Get this - a length of aquarium tubing so I can siphon water out of the cooler and add more ice wo having to empty and dump the cooler. I bring a small variety of tactical things like earplugs, tape, compass, small multi tool, and ziplock bags. Maybe the weirdest thing is a bag of my homemade deer jerky that I will hand out to panhandlers if they ask me for money. If they don't want it I will stand there and eat it in front of them and tell them how good it is.

 

Idaho 61
Colorado St 63

I've been known to take smoked oysters and crackers on vacation, but not usually Vegas.

 

That's the Trader Joe's lavender soap. That stuff is legit. As I type this, I think of my grandfather who worked for NASA and did wind tunnel/spacecraft testing, and his grandson is talking about the beauty of lavender soap. What the hell has happened?

 

You need a wife

 

I'll be on the look-out for you navigating Fremont St with your compass (in just under 11 days).

 

The inner tubes we bought at MB for the lazy river the first year are still going strong. Compress them down as much as we can and throw them in the carry on.

 

Always a bottle of some type of Crown Royal. Usually CR Black, the last couple of trips CR XO. I might consider the newer Crown Royal Hand Selected Barrel...something about this one that makes it the best I've ever had, even better than the XR.

 

OK I'm guessing that's not a toothbrush, but whatever it is, why does need a flared bottom?

 

God's team? Well, I guess in their former location they could have had bumper stickers reading, "God is my Co-Pilot".

 

My only question is: when is your trip, today or tomorrow?

 

I pack zip lock bags, small tupperware, and a freezer pac, in case I find some great sandwich or pastry that I have to bring back. I have an iron stomach, so I don't worry about spoilage. I probably should. Usually I end up eating said item, or I'm all food-ed out and it doesn't happen.

Always pack sour patch kids and gummy bears - I'm on vacation!

I often think about what I want to drink in the room and bring the appropriate TSA approved sized bar syrups or small ingredients I'll need, usually just a lemon, lime, orgeat, and simple syrup. There is a st. germaine "nip" bottle that I'd like to try and bring too, for bad/fake champagne. Supposedly you can pack a small zip lock full of nips in your carry on bag (I never check bags) but I've never tried to bring one. I'll also bring herbs like mint, basil, and starbucks via instant coffee, tea bags. And bath salts if there is a boss tub involved. I guess I'm obsessed with the liquids - once the tell me I can't bring them, I bring everything but!

Haven't packed a martini glass yet, but that is likely coming one day.

 

What bank sells hooch?

 

Brewers and Twins baseball cards so I can trade with the pornslappers.

I think their team is the Nevada Nipple Stars...

RICHARD

 

I pack a small box fan (desk size)
I can't sleep without it blowing air on me.

 

I'm sorry I can't answer this post Dr.Phil just knocked on my door and I need to answer.

 

Only thing I need is the bright yellow banana hammock!!

 

Ty, you might see me at Boar's Head with a tall one. The compass is for getting lost inside of mega resorts where it takes an hour to find the street again.

 

Golf clubs (with rock club) and golf shoes...