Wedding......Calamities ? (long)

I didn't know quite where to post this, it is sort if a non Vegas trip report, but this made sense too.

A little background, we drove to Las Vegas from the Seattle area to Las Vegas by way of a wedding in Sonoma County California. Beautiful place on this planet, I had never been there.

Headed west over off I-5 from Redding CA, through the golden fields and forests of oak trees filled with mistletoe , heading in to wine country was amazing. I had rented a Malibu from Hertz, it is sooooo much quieter and smoother than my little Mazda......perfect drive.

Close to Clear Lake CA and coming in to wine country the roads were a little more twisty and the Malibu seemed to start going a little faster. Had a blast driving, and made it to the hotel before the rehearsal dinner in time for a swim at the hotel.

Wonderful rehearsal dinner, great toasts and lots of terrible roasts and stories. Sooooo looking forward to the wedding the next afternoon.

Wedding setting is stunning, a winery, couple will be saying their vows with a golden sunset behind them, warm breeze from the south......Grandma drops like a rock right before the ceremony, poor thing. Just as she is about to shake the hand and hug the mother of the groom.

Aneurism.

Seemed so surreal, fire truck, aid car, medics, lights, gurneys.........

The ceremony went on, "Grandma would have wanted it that way" , still,wonderful, but sort of sad.

This is however only one of the more bizarre weddings I have attended.

Attended a wedding that really borderlined on a Deliverance theme......scary hillbillies, the brothers and father of the bride had some horrible fight over some hillbilly shit and hadn't really spoken in several years. After a few drinks at the reception the bathroom door at the hall blew open backwards as two bothers were just whompin' on each other, like the old west when they fly out in to the street though the swingin' doors. The string of profanity streamed out like I have never heard before, fists flyin', hair pullin', gut punchin'.

Then the father ran in and instead of breaking them up joined in and began to tag team the unlucky sibling. Anyone who knew the family pretty much grabbed another drink and enjoyed the upcoming match. More and more family became involved, and some of them knew how to fight, not just rolling around on the ground like most fights end up, but full on boxing matches.

The last thing I remember before I left was the bride sailing through the air on to a pile of family, trying to break up the melee before the cutting of the cake.....or maybe just a fightin'.

Went to a cowboy wedding too........soo fun......the invitation was 3PM, well, either I misread or misunderstood 3PM but that was not the wedding time, that was when the kegs were tapped. I think the actual nuptials were closer to 6PM, there was wayyyyy tooo much line dancing, too many tall tales, big hats, and boots to start before everybody was ready. Great wedding.

Anyone else ever attend a different sort of wedding adventure.........

....or do I just need different friends ?

 

I've been to a few which were more or less the real-life portrayal of Tony n Tina's Wedding.

 

I drove 40 miles each way to the nearest mall to get a wedding present. It was a really nice Mexican looking chip and salsa serving thingie. When I got home, I saw that it was broken. I immediately got back in the car and drove 40 miles each way to get it replaced. The next day I drove 200 miles each way to the wedding. I never got an acknowledegement of the gift or a Thank You note. I mentioned this to the father of the groom and about a month later got a scrawled semi-smart ass thank you card.

I drove 250 miles to another wedding. I gave the couple a $100 gift certificate. Never got a thank you. They started divorce proceedings 3 months later.

When my best friend (not the one who just died, a previous best friend who I grew up with and had known since the age of 5), got married, I did not have two cents to rub together. I was an usher and it was truly a burden just to rent the tux. I went out on a limb and put myself temporarily in debt to buy a really nice crystal wine service. When he never mentioned it for several months, I asked him about it and he said, "Oh, that was one of about 5 we got. It wasn't anything special." I said, "I thought it would be special because it came from me." His comeback was, "What are you crying about? You got a free prime rib dinner out of it." This was in 1984 and I'm still stung by that remark.

Piss on weddings.

Piss on people.