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Venting about the last few crappy weeks

Discussion in 'Non-Vegas Chat' started by vwhiten, May 2, 2017.

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  1. Valgal

    Valgal VIP Whale

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    Mainly the past week. My mother and mother -in law seem to be racing to the pearly gates. Last Wednesday we get a call from my husband's brother -hospice nurse says she has 2 days to live, I call in for work Wednesday night- a few minutes later Nursing home calls me my mother is on isolation with c-diff. She has been declining for months. We want to get to San Antonio asap where my m-in-law is. Before we can leave our son calls can we pick up our Grandson at school - he is working out of town and so is the ex. Husband picks him up fever of 102, and in my Grandson's words he also has migraine- he is 9 years old. I had to laugh. We finally get to the in laws and - Mom is awake and talking and not banging on deaths door. We go back down there a few days later she still looks the same.

    Over the last few days my mom has regressed She can't feed herself anymore. My sister and I told the staff how weak she has become. The social worker tried to hand me a paper that had private sitters listed. She told us if we wanted our mother fed we would have to hire one of them for $15 an hour. Like the $4400 a month we pay is not enough. I wanted to throat punch her- So I walked away. Now I am learning to say Ombudsman. I Try to feed her but I can't be there for all 3 meals. I went to see her Saturday night a little before 7 pm and there was an unopened to go box on her table. I started to feed her and an aide came in with another box- looked at what I had and said that was her lunch- unopened and untouched and 7 hours later still sitting there. Again a throat punch or some Jackie Chan fancy move comes into my mind- or we could just settle for my Linda Blair impersonation.

    Sorry to vent but I can't post this shit on Facebook. I live in a small town and you can't fart here without 10 people knowing about it before you even smell it. And everyone is f-Ing related. One of my dearest friends - not so dear- she moved away several years ago-- well her niece is the owner/manager of the nursing home. We all know each other some way in this town. The worst gossipers-- the MEN--my husband finds out more good schnitt from the guys in his shooting club-- Germans.

    And to top it all off I have discovered I am now allergic to Almonds and Peanuts. What kind of crap is that? I love nuts. Get your minds out of the gutter. If I develop an allergy to pecans I will just have to use an Epi-pen.

    I really wouldn't throat punch anyone-- I just like the way that sounds. Linda Blair - that's a good possibility.
     
    40th Wedding Anniversary if we make it that long
  2. vegasvic

    vegasvic VIP Whale

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    Don't be sorry to vent It can be very therapeutic. .Our thoughts are with you. :)
     
  3. Joe

    Joe VIP Whale

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    I totally understand venting. It doesn't really help, but it feels better at the moment.
     
  4. Sonya

    Sonya Queen of VMB

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    Hope the venting helped. I'm sorry for what you're going through. I'd be inclined to throat punch too. Hang in there.
     
  5. Ty

    Ty ?

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    Sorry for your situation. It was fun to read!
     
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  6. wormhole

    wormhole VIP Whale

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    I completely understand your situation with your mother. I went through the feeding situation with my mother when she was in a nursing home. It wasn't as bad with the staff helping as yours, but still very frustrating and stressful.
     
  7. Valgal

    Valgal VIP Whale

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    My sister had a talk with the nursing home They have agreed to feed my mother. From everything I have read it is their responsibility to help her eat. I don't know how my sister does it. My son has that gift too. They can calmly talk to someone, make them feel like an idiot, and have them jumping through hoops without ever raising their voice or speaking ugly. It's a gift. Apparently I don't have that gene. I want to go for the jugular. My husband says it comes from being married to a Marine for so long so I will blame it on him.

    Unfortunately I don't think feeding my mother will help. The nurse at the Nursing Home called earlier tonight saying she thinks she has aspirated and doesn't look good. She will be going on hospice Thursday if she makes it that long. Her mind shut down a long time ago and her frail body has been lagging behind.
     
    40th Wedding Anniversary if we make it that long
  8. Camp Rusty

    Camp Rusty VIP Whale

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    Ugh......life can be so overwhelming sometimes. Sorry so many things are falling in at the same time for you.

    Everyone needs a good place to vent, we promise not to tell the neighbors :ssst:

    Take a few deep breaths, check in to a happy place for a moment or two......throw your shoulders back and know you aren't alone.

    .....and I blame your husband also, if that helps. ( but, being a Marine he can probably help with throat punch techniques, if needed )
     
  9. Sonya

    Sonya Queen of VMB

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    Yay for your sister. I don't have that talent either. I usually sound like Shirley MacLaine in Terms of Endearment or something.

    So sorry to hear your mom isn't doing better.

    Hang in there and vent away and don't hesitate to ask if there is something we can do to help you. I'm keeping you in my thoughts.
     
  10. Electroguy563

    Electroguy563 Over-Fried Gambler

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    When it rains it pours, unfortunately. I'm going through a similar scenario as you are. All we can do is soldier on (or Marine on in your case) and hope and pray for strength. Whenever you need to vent, know that this is a good place to come to.
     
  11. Joe Strummer

    Joe Strummer VIP Whale

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    Whew.......tough situation.....I'm sorry.
    I will be in your shoes very soon.
    My father is 94 ........he is starting to fade.......he won't be ambulatory soon.
    We had to change Nursing Homes (with my aunt - just passed at 100 yrs old ).
    There are no easy answers ?
    Vent away !
    Sincerely,
    Joe
     
  12. Blonde_4_ever

    Blonde_4_ever LasVegas4ever.com

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    I used to work in nursing homes back in the 90;s and it certainly was part of our job to feed the residents. I can't believe they were trying to maintain that it wasn't . So ridiculous. Care has certainly gone downhill....
    So sorry about your mom...
     
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