Hi Folks, I mainly post on LVTalk but thought since I accepted an invitation to Joe's Skyloft party I would post my lastest trip report here in an attempt for some of you to get to know me better. Like most of my reports, this is long and somewhat humerous. As you are about to read my wife L was along for the ride this time and we spent a good deal of time hanging around our high rolling buddy, v3gasjunkie. We drank way to much and acted like spoiled college kids, which is about normal for us. Enough with the intro. I hope someone gets a kick out of this. Disclaimer: Everything you are about to read is true. The names havenâ€™t been changed to protect the innocent. Hopefully no one gets mad at me for telling this story. Although I am not proud of some of the things we did, other than missing TexasLynnie and crew at the adult toy store I wouldnâ€™t change a thing. The days are kind of running together in my mind so some of the timelines might be off a tad. I never take notes but marvel at those of you that have that type of discipline on vacation. As usual try to look past the typing errors, mispelled words, bad grammar and changes in tense. The mad Dash: I picked my up lilâ€™hottie at work Friday afternoon around 1:00 and headed straight for Las Vegas. We ate subway in the car on the way up. Traffic from Tucson all the way through Phoenix was the worst Iâ€™ve ever seen. It was stop and go all the way to Surprise AZ but smooth sailing from there to the Hoover Dam where we sat for 20 minutes while they tucked away the huge crane on the side of the road for the weekend. In keeping with tradition about 25 miles outside of Wikieup I do my best to set my personal speed record. Iâ€™m sure a lot of you have gone faster on straight roads but I got her up to 132 mph going through the foothills of the nearby mountain ranges. Our sports sedan was built for situations like that and as advertised she handled like a dream. Those new tires really hug the road baby and you havenâ€™t lived until you double the speed limit going around a hair pin turn. (132 in a 65) At one point I was cruising at around 90 mph in a 65 when I drove past a traffic cop but he never blinked. I slowed down to 80 which seems like a more reasonable speed limit for that area. Not getting a ticket was the first win of the trip. Friday night: 6 hours and 45 minutes from when we left we are exiting I-15 on Trop heading for MGM Grand. I call v3gasjunkie (aka Junkie, aka James our Chauffer, aka J) and he is in the middle of dinner at Mix so we head to In-N-Out. I had the DD which was to die for. We leave IN-N-Out and valet at Luxor. We grab a seat at the VP Bar near the check-in desk. All the scotch mentioned in this report will be of the single malt variety and were all ordered neat in a brandy snifter. I fire up an El Rey Del Mundo CafÃ© Noir, which is a delicious small cigar about twice the size of a cigarette. We hang out long enough to get a fruity drink for Lilâ€™hottie (aka L) and another Talisker 10 (Think $55 for 750 ML) for me before cashing out $10 up. We walk around the casino while I finish my smallish stogie just taking it all in. L decides itâ€™s time to go shopping so we head for the walk way to Mandalay Bay and do some window shopping. I walk into the Davidoff store as my phone rings. Junkie took a limo down to TI where he was gambling in their Hi Limit Salon. I finally track down L and we get the car and head over to meet him. We hang out for a while watching him gamble for a bit. I move over to the bar and tell the bartender my friend wants a scotch. They were out of Macallan 25 all weekend so I get the 18. The bartender seeing my disappointment over them not having the 25 serves up an extra heavy pour of the 18. I slide him a $10 bill for his troubles and head back to the table. The shoe was choppy and it seems like junkie was treading water so we decided to head over the Venetian to check into our digs for the weekend. I have noticed standing in check-in lines bothers me less with a drink in my hand so thatâ€™s what I do now. We head for the VIP check-in area where maybe 1 other person was ahead of us. Evidentially someone screwed up and booked Jâ€™s reservation in the invited guest section instead of the VIP section. J makes a few jokes and we head outside to the peon line to get our room. The guy out there was all embarrassed and almost kissing junkies ass while we were there. They were all out of renovated rooms by midnight Friday night so the check-in clerk says heâ€™ll put us up in this suite if we donâ€™t mind. Hahaha, ok twist my arm. The place was just under 1600 squares with a big wet bar, refrigerator, his & hers bathrooms, his & hers closets, separate living and dining rooms, 2 huge live plants, a king bed, 2-3 TVâ€™s, and a huge bathroom with a separate shower, jucuzzi tub, executive height double vanity with a separate make up vanity complete with adjustable lighted mirror dealy for my lilâ€™hottie. The place was also full of marble floors and counter tops, including the huge curved bar. There was of course of obligatory mini bar with $8 snacks that we managed to avoid. The room was so bad assed I got my first Vegas Woody just walking in the door. Here are a few photos of our suite. Bar and Foyer Dining Room From Foyer Double Vanity in Master Hall Bath Master Bedroom Master Bedroom Towards Dining Room Live Plant in LR Living Room Makeup Vanity/Stand alone Shower Rack Rate sheet for Room #3-338 Whirlpool Tub We hung out around the room for maybe an hour. I was trying to give J the look to head downstairs by himself for about a Â½ hour but he was clueless. He took a monster dump in our hall bath and ruined the mood anyway. Holding my breath I kissed L goodnight and Junkie and I headed out to tear Vegas a new one. He played a little here and there in various hi limit rooms breaking about even. He wanted to go to the Hard Rock and when on the way over we drive past Ellis Island. We flip a U turn and stop in for a steak special. Our waiter was a total stoner kid that took off from the table to get whatever we asked for before finishing taking our order. He did it 2 or 3 times, funny. No matter what the food snob says, he enjoyed the steak. Being the gregarious guy I am I picked up the tab of $12.50 and tipped the stoner kid 100% for fun. Iâ€™m sure he got some more blow with the profit. We head over to the Hard Rock around 3 am and the place is still going strong. I grab a scotch from the table, I think it was a Glenmorangie 12 Sherry Wood finish. Junkie hates cigar smoke so I resist lighting one up this time. He wins a few bucks, maybe a $1000 or so and itâ€™s time to leave. We spot a couple of hot moms or MILFâ€™s if you will on the way out and stop to admire their beauty. As we are standing there he starts in on how he forgot to pack undershirts and he is miserable without them. I try to get him to go to the gift shop to by some and he starts bitching they cost $20 each and he wonâ€™t spend that kind of money on undershirts. Keep in mind he hands a green chip to the waitress almost every time he orders his diet coke. I call him names, female anatomy names mainly and he finally admits he wants me to take him to Walmart. The only Walmart I know of is the one we drive by on the way in on the 215, which know I know is in Henderson. We hop in my ride and head for freakin Wal-Mart and he nods off along the way. We wander around and he buys 2 packs of shirts, Fruit of the Looms no less. I think he got like 15 shirts for just under $20.00. We are walking out the high class underwear store and he tries to hand me .83 cents. Iâ€™m like WTH dude I donâ€™t want your damn pennies. We stop and he gives me this long ass story about how they get caught in his wad of bills as he pulls like $5K out of his locket to show me what he means. I pull $2 singles out of my pocket and start repeating his story back to him. We laughed and as we were walking out he tossed the change in the air. I look back and the cashiers were running all over the store looking for the change. Not my proudest moment but it was funny at 4am. Luckily there were no thugs hanging around when he pulled all that cash out of his pocket. Goofball! We head over to GVR where he buys in for that wad he had in his pocket at a blackjack table. He wins every bet of $300 and less and loses every bet above that amount. Heâ€™s down $2 grand or so when he pushes all in for one final hand. He gets some soft hand against a 4 or 5 and goes crazy scrambling for double down cash. He was a little shy so I toss him $500 which BTW ends up being every penny we have between us. Iâ€™m sitting there thinking throwing that .83 cents on the floor at Wal-Mart was going to bite us on the ass but it ended up not mattering when the dealer busted. He tipped her an obscene amount of money considering he played for under an hour and we went to the cage to cash out. The cage manager for late night is some hefty blonde lady with thick ankles and a bad attitude. What a buzz killing fun Nazi this lady turned out to be. Junkie was really cool about it at first and I have no idea what her freaking problem was but it eventually got to him and he started giving it back to her. By the time we left she was nearly in tears from frustration, keep in mind junkie never once said a mean word to this old hag. She has no business working in customer service. All that crap and I didnâ€™t even get a free drink, what a bitch! We head off to the MGM so junkie can play a little in the Mansion Casino. Iâ€™m lagging a bit by now so I was walking behind him as we enter. The big table was empty and so needless to say they were glad to see him. One of the lady dealers asked him where â€œScotchyâ€ was this morning so I stepped aside so she could see me in all my glory. Hahaha. Then all 5 of them greeted me in unison, â€œSCOTCHY!!â€ Not sure where that came from but at least they remembered me. We sit down and the dealers start in on me to order something expensive from the bar. I was embarrassed and felt ashamed from drinking an entire bottle of Mac 25 in there last month in about 5 hours. Oh, maybe that is where the nick name cam from. Junkie takes out a marker for $15 or $20 grand and starts playing. The cute little waitress sees us sit down and comes over immediately to take my drink and cigar order. I love this place. I try to get out of drinking and the whole table makes me feel like a chick for not wanting a drink at 5 am. I ask her for a Mac 18 and a Davidoff #2 Anniverario cigar. Junkie tells her no, bring him a Mac 30. Shiat!! I could have drank just one or two of the Mac 18â€™s and been fine, but when the ultra high end scotch starts flowing I lose all sense of reason and will power. I have no idea what happened over the next 3-4 hours but do remember when we got up to leave junkie had my keys and pointed back to the bar where I had another drink waiting on me, diet coke this time and a huge turkey sandwich. Later he told me I had consumed a lot of Mac 30 and entertained the crew while he played. Finally I sit down and take a bite or two of the beast of a meal someone prepared for me when suddenly I notice I can barely keep my eyes open. More on this later. Iâ€™m sitting there sobering up at an alarming rate when these two degenerate looking guys walk up and sit down at my private table. At first I though I was gonna have to open up a can of whoop ass on them but as it turned out these guys were funny as hell. About an hour into the conversation I ask them their names. Turns out it was El Diablo and the private chauffeur he hired for the weekend, friends of J. Now that I knew who these guys were we start swapping stories about junkie and laughing our asses off. They had all the stripper and drunk stories and I shared all the Hipple stories and craziness like paying people to leave the blackjack table so we could all play together. Each story got a little bit more ridiculous than the one before it and by the time it was all over we knew each other pretty well. I give those guys credit because they never tried to get me to drink anymore. El Diablo was sucking down Wild Turkey Rare Breed to the tune of about 4 per hour for at least 2 hours and didnâ€™t appear to be the least bit intoxicated. WTH?? We decide it was time to go, I toss Michael a couple of $20â€™s for the sandwich, diet cokes and the 10 Wild Turkeyâ€™s El Diablo sipped while I sobered up. I turned to wave goodbye and when I turned around Junkie was standing there insisting we head for the pool. We walk out to the cabana and grab a seat in the shade. I stare at the inside of my eyelids for about 30 minutes when my phone rings. Itâ€™s almost noon and L wants to eat and then go shopping. Great!! I scratch my head and various other body parts while trying to get my wits about me. Oh yeah now I remember junkie told me he valet parked my car before he passed out. The slip was no where to be found and he wouldnâ€™t wake up so I decided to hoof it back to the Venetian on foot. As I passed the bar in the front of the MGM I resist the urge to get a drink for the road. The strip was packed with idiot tourists stopping in the middle of the sidewalk, crossing against the light and all the usual BS people do to drive me crazy. I walked as fast as I could and despite dodging all the traffic light and asshats standing in the way we were eating lunch by 1:00 pm. In case you donâ€™t know Iâ€™m a perfect size 2X and when I get up a head of steam walking down the strip people usually move. WTH, I made a game of it. L wanted Chipotle where if you recall you can get a burrito in a cardboard bowl, spelled bol. It sounds gross but itâ€™s really quite tasty. While sitting at lunch junkie kept calling no doubt feeling guilty for hijacking my car for the day. I still havenâ€™t asked him how many Mac 30â€™s he ordered for me at the Mansion, might be better not to know. I probably owe him over $100 in tips for drinks that morning. Later that night I made the right guess for him at the baccarat table at TI when he pushed in $9000 so weâ€™ll call it even. Thanks man! After lunch L wanted to go shopping but my eyes were feeling heavy. We walk into the Venetian and play some VP for a few minutes. L had a fruity type drink thingy and I was drinking diet coke. We played for about an hour before heading over to the Fashion Show Mall. I walked her into Neiman Marcus and told her I needed a nap and a shower. It was about 3pm Saturday and I swear I was heading back to the room but cut through TI for the AC. Needless to say I didnâ€™t make it back to the Venetian until about 8:00 pm. See I found a $5 3/2 shoe blackjack game and grabbed a seat. I intended on playing a few hands to get a free diet coke but ended up staying because of the fun people at the table. I was up and down over the course of the session which started with 2 diet cokes and ended with countless Mac 12â€™s. I finally called Junkie back so he would quit sweating stealing my car for the day, which I honestly didnâ€™t mind. He told me to take L anywhere I wanted in the Venetian and charge it to the room so he could get his host to take care of it for us. Sounds good! I walk around looking at a few places before deciding on Pinot Brasserie. I make a 9:30 ressie and head for the shower in my room. I get cleaned up, lay on the bed for 10 minuets when L comes walking in. I tell her we have dinner reservations in about an hour thanks to our buddy and she gets this huge smile on her face. There must be something about Vegas because before I know what happens she starts to disrobe at an alarming rate. I figure she was going to get cleaned up for dinner but nope, there was nothing clean going on in our room that night. We show up fashionably late for dinner but they didnâ€™t seem to mind. I order L a fruity drink and ask to see the single malt scotch menu. Jeez Louise they are proud of their scotch. $36 for a glass of Mac 18, kiss my ass you french bastards! It would have been all free but that isnâ€™t the point. They had Macallan Grand Reserve on their menu which is very limited supply since they quit making it years ago. They wanted an arm and a leg for a pour but I ordered one anyway. Due to the limited supply it is one good scotch I have yet to sample. 5 minutes later the waiter came back to the table and apologized because they were out. No worries Iâ€™ll stick with diet coke ami. We split a crab salad and ordered 2 filets medium. The food was awesome and L ordered dessert, some sort of chocolate cake. Dinner was only $125 before tip since we only had the one drink. I think Junkie was disappointed we didnâ€™t spend $300 in there which would be easy to do. I called him as we were finishing dinner to see if he wanted to hang out or whatever. He hopped in our car and came to the restaurant. L was fading fast and needed to use the ladies room so she called it a night. We felt bad she couldnâ€™t make it until he got there so she could thank him for dinner but these things happen. Junkie says he needs to make a table max bet here at the V so we head to their high limit room where he takes out a $15,000 marker. He begs the dealer to let him pay commission as he slides the 3 $5,000 chips on the banker slot. I stand up to walk away because I was feeling player but he never asked me. Sure enough he loses and within seconds we walk away. He stayed calm somehow but I wanted to cry. I never offer my opinion unless he asks but this one I was one I had a real vibe for. I felt like it was my fault for not telling him. We walk out and head for TI to win back his $15K. I tell him Iâ€™d like to play some BJ trying to slow him down a little. He finds us a $25 double deck pitch game S-17. This is a little above my low roller ways but WTH. I buy on for $300 and flat bet my way to a $200 win. Most of you would have won at least $800 by pressing your bets but I bet like a scared little girl. What can I say? I think he was down about $2000 when I cashed out. There was some guy sitting at 3rd base that was driving me crazy making stupid comments every time junkie would bet $2000-$3000. Junkie finally had enough so we switch to middy bacc on the floor for $25. Macallan 18 and Baccarat Profits from TI I like this game because they let us handle the cards. I win 5 out the first 6 hands I play when I notice junkie is nodding off. He played maybe 1 or 2 hands so I knew something was wrong. He tells me he needs an In-N-Out burger and he needs it right now. Seemed random at the time but whatever. Itâ€™s about 1 am and I tell him to sit tight while I grab the car out of the valet. He rolls his eyes and says screw that weâ€™re taking a limo. He makes a call and within 3 minutes we are loaded into a MGM Mirage limo. Keep in mind itâ€™s Sat night of one of the busiest weekends of the year. We tell the driver where we are going and he turns around and laughs. I think he thought we were joking until we asked him to wait for us while we ate. We were inside maybe 20 minutes total. We went back to TI and he played in the high limit room for a while. He won a couple of big bets and finally called it a night. We grab the car and I drop him off at MGM where he was staying in a standard room. I get back to the Venetian around 5 am. Itâ€™s getting light but I didnâ€™t make it to sunrise. Sunday: I wake up early feeling totally refreshed about 7:30. I hop in the shower, shave and put on fresh clothes except for my lucky green underwear which I wore yesterday and put back on. Gross as it is I was heading for the Mansion to play baccarat and needed all the luck I could muster. As I am walking to the car heading to the MGM junkie calls saying the crew at the Mansion misses Scotchy. I walk into the Mansion Casino to a round of applause for what Iâ€™m still not sure. I sit down and before I can say no thanks Iâ€™m presented with a glass of Mac 30 and another huge ass Davidoff cigar. I nurse the drink and pocket the stogie for later. J says he is hungry and wants so Bouchon for breakfast. We had a conversation about L eating to slowly and J was embarrassed to complain about how long it takes her to eat. Iâ€™m not sure what the deal is with that and honestly I almost broke up with her over it in HS. The girl is fine but chews her damn food like 4 million times before she can swallow. Itâ€™s so bad even her co workers wonâ€™t eat with her. On the walk to the valet I call her and tell her to go on to Bouchon and order her food. She laughs and says that is a good idea. She later told me it was perfect because she didnâ€™t have to rush her meal. We may start doing this from now on. Bouchonâ€™s breakfast is to die for. I had this huge breakfast that is at the top of the menu for like $22. It included the worldâ€™s best cheese Danish, 2 eggs, bacon, sausage, a huge thing of frites, orange juice and this fancy smancy toast. L had the strawberry waffle and a muffin and I have no idea what J ordered but it looked so good. J ordered a few boxes of pastries for the crew back at the Mansion Casino. This is the best breakfast I have ever had in my life. I liked it so much I went back my final day in town and dined alone. We make our way back to the Mansion and like a moron I decide to give them some action. I buy in for $2000 at the $100 minimum big baccarat table. I lose the first two hands then push the 3rd when the hand ties. The shoe was choppy flipping back and forth between banker and player almost every hand. I was down $600 at one point, not a big deal since I was up for the trip before I sat down and the buy-in money was mostly my profit from my March trip. By now I have refused drink service twice since I was playing. I was sweating bullets so I sat out a few hands to regroup. J was keeping track on a score card and was on a mini run. My chase the streak theory was getting me killed so I decided to follow his lead. Junkie was screwing around pointing out ridiculous coincidences like some of the stats ESPN gives you on Baseball. He checks the scorecard and finds a similarity of the last time the Player had a natural 8 the next hand went to banker, which by the way was like 15 hands ago. He makes a $6000 bet he was so sure on the wacky stat so I bet $300. Lol, thatâ€™s a big bet for me. We hit every one of those crazy coincidence bets but I couldnâ€™t win that last bet to get me back to even no matter what I did. We have all had those sessions where we want to win just one more bet and we end up losing our buy-in, this felt exactly like that. I had 4 tries to get back to even and lost them all. I was covered in sweat and everyone could tell I was nervous. Like the dumb ass I am I refused to leave until I busted out or retained my undefeated Mansion Casino status. I get back down $500 or so then get back to almost even until finally J points out another weird coincidence on the score card. I asked him to show it to me again and asked him if he was serious. It all checked out and he bet like $5,000 on the hand. I started to slide my measly 1 back chip for $100 and then paused to reconsider. We had won every one of these odd coincidence bets so I knew this was my best chance to get my money back. I took a quick count and needed to bet $300 to get ahead. I thought L was going to kill me for betting $300 on the fact of what happened 15 or 20 hands ago that we needed to repeat to get the win but placed the bet none the less. I donâ€™t remember what the cards were exactly but we won and I was off the snide. The reputation of my green boxer briefs remain untarnished as my lucky drawers and to date I have never lost money playing baccarat in the Mansion Casino. I was so happy I was showing people my greenie meanies as they walked by. After commissions I was up almost $100 so I tossed a green chip on the table for the crew and slid the other $2045.00 worth of chips in front of my lilâ€™hottie and walk away to the bar. I get over there and Michael asks me if I am ok. He can see the stress on my face and I tell him to give me a minute. I sit there wiping the sweat from my brow for what seemed like an eternity. I finally ask for a Macallan 25 just to change it up from the 30 I had been drinking all weekend. He gets this grimace on his face as he goes to the secret cabinet where they hide the good scotch from flat betters like me. He pulls out the bottle which has maybe 3-3.5 inches of scotch in the bottom of the bottle. He apologizes and says this is all that is left. I told him it was fine I just wanted one drink to take off the edge. He promptly pulls out this huge brandy snifter and pours the rest of the bottle in the glass for me. Holy Shiat! I love good scotch and really love drinking the expensive stuff in Vegas for just a tip, but these bartenders are killing me with these huge pours. I slip him a Jackson and grab a seat facing the table where my L and J are sitting. I told her to play if she wanted and honestly I didnâ€™t care about the money. The fact that I am up on Las Vegas gambling wise after almost 30 trips is weighing on me hard. I kind of wish I didnâ€™t keep track. If she lost the money having fun it wouldnâ€™t affect my gambling total so I didnâ€™t care. I forgot to mention at one point during our session we were doing so bad we decided to let L drive, which means she was the one peeking at the cards and turning them over for us. We promptly won 4 hands in a row with her driving and it couldnâ€™t have come at a better time. It took over an hour to finish my monster pour of Macallan 25 and one of the Davidoff #2 they gave me. J & L kept coming back to check on me and then back to the baccarat table for more action. When I apologized for keeping me waiting he told me it was cool that he won another $5,000 while he waited. One of the times L and junkie joined me in the bar Michael comes over to offer them a drink. He asks me how I am feeling from yesterday and then asks me if I ever get a hangover. Which for the record I do not. He asks permission to share a story about me sobering up that I will never live down. He said just before El Diablo showed up to baby sit me I dozed off for 10-15 seconds 2 or 3 times. He said I finally jerked my head and woke up and started chewing again. I know itâ€™s dangerous to fall asleep with food in your mouth so no need to yell at me for it. We all shared at laugh at my expense before moving on. We let J chauffeur us over to the Palmâ€™s where El Diablo was waiting for us. J sits down at a blackjack table that was kind of full so my mini skirted wife and I grab a seat at the bar. The lady bartender offers us a drink. I pass for myself but ask her if she mind making something fruity for L? She works and works on this drink for like 5 minutes. It looked like a million bucks so I tipped her $10.00. She gave me a look I was her new best friend. After about 30 minutes I ordered a Macallan 21 from their fine oak line. I skipped on the cigar this time since the bar was right near where J was playing and the smoke bothers him. What can I say I am a giver baby! Haha We sat in there for quite a while swapping stories with El Diablo. Every so often I would get J a bottle of Fiji or Voss water and chat with him for a bit. I felt bad leaving him at the table alone but I was done with the $100 minimum tables. We stayed long enough to have another couple of drinks, I had Macallan 18 which I prefer over the 21 fine oak. L kept with her fruity drinks and El Diablo was plowing through Wild Turkey like it was water. We leave there and make J chauffer us over to Mandalay Bay where the valet was full. The guy was cool about it and to us we could valet around the corner at some secret valet stand but we missed a turn and that was that. It seemed like a bad omen so we bolted for TI. On the way L said she needed to hit the room at the V for something before she went shopping so we dropped her there in route to TIâ€™s high limit room. The whole time J was chauffeuring us around we talked in a snooty voice and referred to him as James. See I always wanted a chauffer name James. Not sure why. Next trip out Iâ€™m bringing my chauffeurâ€™s hat for him to wear. Anyway we valet at TI and walk inside where James the chauffer gets slowly raped at the baccarat table. He was on his 3rd $5,000 marker when his luck finally started to change. He was playing with one other guy who thought the shoe was bad luck so they asked for a new one to be brought out. I guess the shoe they were playing was shuffled by a machine rather than by hand. We waited almost 30 minutes for the new cards to be brought out and hand shuffled. At about the 27 minute mark I got this premonition that he needed to bet his stack on player and just sat there with my eyes closed praying to god he asked my opinion this time. I was in some sort of zone I guess because this feeling was really strong. WTH? Sure enough he asks me what to do and I told I would be all over that player spot if it were me. Sure enough he slides his stack, almost $9,000 on player. The dealer starts to deal. J was driving since he had the biggest wager on the table. The other 2 players made smallish bets to support his player wager which is a big tradition in baccarat. J takes forever bending the shiat out of the first card which is an 8, so far so good as 8 is the second highest score you can have. I was praying for face card for his second card and for one of the first times ever he seemed a little nervous as he grabbed the other card and began to roll the edge up slowly to see what he had. I get a quick peek myself at the Ace of spades, whoo fu#king hoo he has a natural 9 and canâ€™t be beat. The dealer turns over rags and we start yelling and screaming and high fiveâ€™ing. What a hard way to make easy money. He pays off his markers and pockets the other $3,000 as we head for the Mansion to bid farewell to our bartender friend Michael. We get there 2 minutes before his shift ended. The funny thing was L walked in literally right ahead of us. I walk in and Michael hands me 2 more Davidoffâ€™s that sell for around $25 a stick. There was a small party going on in the bar area which was more crowded than I have even seen. I was shaking Michaelâ€™s hand and slipping him what I felt was a generous good bye tip for all he had done this year taking care of the us 3 oddballs when I spot J sneaking over behind the bar grabbing a to go cup and a lid. I see him slip a wad of bills in the cup and then he comes over to join us. I later found out J (v3gasjunkie) tipped Michael $1000.00. I hope to hell Michael looked inside the cup before he threw it out. Michael finally leaves the bar off to start his new career. It was emotional to say the least. Junkie buys in at the big table and we all grab a seat. About 5 minutes later I remember Blazin7â€™s had called and wanted to meet at some VP bar. L and I excuse ourselves from the table to go meet B7â€™s. We meet up and sat around some slot machine chatting for a few minutes. Junkie shows up about 5 minutes later and we decide to head as a group to Hooters. We take over some crappy 6/5 $10 BJ table and like always on these shitty tables I lose the first 4-5 hands in a row. At one point Iâ€™m down to $10 of my $100 buy-in and figure itâ€™s all over. I stage a mini comeback and get back to $50 when J dares me to push it into the betting spot and get my money back. This goes on 4-5 times and finally I take his advice. Usually this is a quick way to lose for me as I rarely win a bet when I chase my losses with one big bet. This time was different and I won with 20 when the dealer busted. I was glad to get out of there, Hooterâ€™s sucks in my opinion. We grab the car from the MGM valet, everyone piles in and we head for Flamingo. We say our goodbyes to B7â€™s and fart around for a while. J needed to get a free room for his buddy El Diablo so he took care of that. I drove Junkie back down to MGM so he could pack for the airport. We walked back into our favorite bar for a drink, which ended up being 2. We had some dinner then said our goodbyes to Bob the evening bartender and headed back to the Venetian. We stopped off at that center bar and played some VP and had a couple drinks. We took the last drinks back to the suite and sipped them at our private bar. L was tired and wanted to go to bed. Vegas Woody made a guest appearance and then showered and got ready for some more buffoonery. Ceiling in the Venetian Lobby I hung around in the room until L was ready for bed. I tucked her in and head out to get the car. On the way I call B7â€™s and TexasLynnie to see if they wanted to hang out. B7â€™s was down for the count but Lynnie was hanging out with PattyfromOntario at the Gold Coast listening to some band. I drove over and joined them for a few hours. A lady named Sin was there from the Travel2Vegas board with her husband. We sat around gossiping for several hours. I was sipping Jack Danielâ€™s Single Barrel most of the evening. I excused myself for about 30 minutes to smoke another one of those little El Rey Cigars I brought with me. Around 3:00 we make our way over to the cafÃ© to have the breakfast special for $3.00 each. Lynnie and Patty bought my breakfast but did agree to let me get the tip. Breakfast was great but the service sucked. The couple that came in ahead of us was finished eating and had left the restaurant before our food arrived. I guess we were just unlucky. The ladies were fading fast so I let them go to their room and I went to get the car. Iâ€™m kind of tired but donâ€™t really feel like sleeping so I head for Bellagio where I play VP until the sun comes up. I cash out about even and decide to call it a night. I head for the roof where my car is parked and take it all in. I love the view from up there. I get back to the Venetian around 6:30 a sip a Highland Park 18 at the bar in our room. I was trying to be quiet so not to wake my lilâ€™hottie until 7:30. Then Vegas Woody and I do our best to wake her up, even offering to take her to breakfast at Bouchonâ€™s but she was down for the count. I sleep in late until 11:00 am and then we head for the pool. We grab a couple of chairs and hang out for a couple of hours. My lilâ€™hottie headed up to shower and change while I hung around and got a sun burn. I take another dip or two in the pool before heading upstairs to the room. About this time I get a totally random call from 2 old friends that were in Vegas as well. They wanted to know where we were but never mentioned wanting to see me. They must have been stoned or whatever. L said she was craving the Red Rock Station Buffet, the dessert section to be more specific. Lol. We finally get there after stopping at 3 different stores so she can buy new shoes. She had been wearing her Wynn slippers everywhere because apparently the new shoes she bought especially for this trip were killing her feet and she only brought one pair of shoes. Luckily her Wynn slippers were still in our suit case from the December trip. We finally eat lunch around 4 pm. Thankfully I have a larger fat reserve than most of you or I may have starved to death waiting on her to buy new shoes. Lunch was good as usual. We ate too much, she had at least 6 desserts. Fontana Bar/Lounge Party: Marlo1, Hetz, Patty, Char, Splittin7's and Pnut in the back We fiddle farted around then headed over to the Bellagio to meet some friends at Fontana Bar for some VP, drinks and stogies. On the way over my phone rang. Pebbles from England called to tell me she was there early and the band was playing. That was probably an expensive 1 minute call for her. We walk in a few minutes before 7 and quite a few people were already there. They were spread out all over the bar, I guess they didnâ€™t know each other. Someone took a group photo at one point, hopefully they will email it to me or post it here. In random order the guest list was: Char, B7â€™s aka Hetz, Sailor, Isles1, Marlo1, Pebbles and her husband, MizBlackjack and her friend Debbie, IllinoisVegaslover, TexasLynnie, PattyfromOntario and Splittin7â€™s and of course me and my lilâ€™hottie. If I forgot anyone name please forgive me. We hung out getting to know each other for about an hour without playing any VP. I felt bad for the bartenders because no one was drinking for quite a while but we were taking up the seats. L finally decides to sit down and play as she was craving the Bellagio Cocktail. I fed a $100 bill into her machine and ordered a drink for her as she played. Darrin the bartender made her the drink and I tipped him a $20 for his troubles. He gave me an odd look until I asked him to take good care of my baby doll and not to let her cup go empty all night. I didnâ€™t want her to have to worry about tipping the guy and I was afraid I might ignore her a bit being there with all my board friends. Darrin earned his $20 as he kept his word to me and never let her wait for a drink. In my experience tipping big up front is well worth the money if you plan to be there a while. We didnâ€™t wait or want for anything all night not to mention it made her feel like a queen the way I asked him to take care of her. I highly recommend you try this method to stand out from the crowd of $1 tippers. After a while L grew tired of the Bellagio Cocktail and asked me what she should order. Darrin overheard our conversation and without even asking what she wanted next he fixed her a Pomegranate Lemon Drop Martini. Which is now her new favorite drink. By then end of the night I tipped him and the other bartenders $50.00 and it was worth every penny. They never said a word about us playing to slowly for comp drinks and I noticed the 3 bartenders working that side of the bar stayed in front of the 6 of us the entire time we played. I know at times it was close to 5 minutes between hands for me and L as we stopped to smooch and watch the fountain show. At the little party I drank the following scotches in random order: Macallan 12, Talisker 10, Glenallachie 12, Scrapa 14, Oban 14, Glenfarclas 12, Glenincie 10, Glenmorangie 12 Sherry Wood Finish and one I had never heard of, Loch Dhu 10, The Black Whisky. For those keeping score, I smoked an AVO Robusto, Patron 1926 Anniversario Maduro and 1 Cohiba Black in the 2-3 hours we played VP. Iâ€™ve had a lot of fun playing VP there over the years but this was the most fun ever. Iâ€™m not sure how many drinks Darrin served L but she was feeling no pain when we left Fontana to play Blackjack with MizBlackJack and her friend Debbie. We pretty much took over a $15 table with 3 of us playing and L sitting half on my chair and half on Debbieâ€™s. There was another hot looking lady at the table with us and she was an absolute riot. We started out with a male dealer named Andy. Andy was dealing a little slow for my liking and he made it worse by hitting all his 13-16â€™s for 20â€™s and 21â€™s. I was glad to see him take a break. Even happier to see he was replaced by a cute lady dealer that wore her eye makeup like cat woman. I think her name was Linda but Iâ€™m not sure. Honestly she dealt the cards so friggin fast my eyes were blurring and I couldnâ€™t read her name tag. I was down close to $100 when she took over for the Andy Man and changed my luck. I clawed my way back to a slight profit before toking Cat Woman and cashing out. My phone had been ringing off the hook. Apparently I had agreed to go shopping with TexasLynnie, Patty and Splittin7â€™s. Char and Hetz joined in as we needed a chauffer and a chaperone since we were both a little under the influence of Darrinâ€™s generosity from the Fontana Bar. Iâ€™m not sure what happened next, I thought we were going to the Fashion show mall to shop for shoes. The next thing I know we are at the adult toy store caddy corner from the Orleans. Char and Hetz seemed to be experts on these kinds of things. I stood in the corner blushing and pouting thinking about my poor pal VW being replaced by something artificial. WTF is with you women and these Battery Operated Boyfriends anyway? Somehow we ended up at the wrong toy store and soon T-Lynnie was calling asking where we were. I hope she finally figured out we were drunk and lost and didnâ€™t wait around for us too long. My phone was cutting in and out and only about Â½ of what she said was coming through. I feel bad we went to the wrong store sweetie. Even worse you waited around for us and we never found you. Char being the only sober one in our little group drove us to the Orleans where I ate the first of 3 breakfasts of the day. We ate like pigs and the whole thing was very sobering. It was around 3 am when we said our goodbyes to Char at the Orleans. We gave Hetz a ride back to Flamingo or Harrahâ€™s wherever he was staying and then went to the Venetian to go to bed. This time I skipped the night cap at our private bar. I was up and showered by 7 am. By 7:05 I was seated on the patio at Bouchonâ€™s for breakfast #2. This time I had 2 eggs over medium, bacon, their fancy toast and some kind of to die for cheese potatoes. Since I knew they make the Worldâ€™s best cheese danish I ordered one of those as well. I drank water and the bill came to $17.50 before tip or $21.00 with tip. The service, food and atmosphere make this a great deal for breakfast. BTW, we (Vegas Woody and I) tried to wake L up so she could join us for Bouchonâ€™s but it was no dice. After breakfast I played some VP at the center bar at the V but didnâ€™t drink. As an aside, there is a bartender there named Mike than will serve single malt scotch way above the comp limit if you tip well enough. He works that graveyard shift until 10 am. I had numerous glasses of Macallan 18 and Lagavulin 16 after tipping him accordingly. I met Jackson that Lilibeta recommended in her trip report and she is right he is excellent. I wasnâ€™t able to score the same drinks from him and my guess is it had more to do with the shift he was working than anything else. By 10 am that bar was packed everyday and he kind of gestured like he would love to serve me what I wanted but he would get in trouble of others order the same stuff. Since Iâ€™m sure they were only tipping a buck or 2 per drink it wasnâ€™t worth the risk. Iâ€™ve had great luck getting almost anything I want with a $20 tip at an empty bar, but not so lucky when itâ€™s crowded. Since we are leaving today I drive to the Orleans to visit their liquor store. I need to pick up so good bourbon for a friend that is stocking his bar at home for guests. He asked me to pick something out for him so I bought a couple of good bottles he probably has never heard of. I was on my way to the Bellagio to see if I could find MizBlackJack and her friend to play some mini baccarat when my phone rang. Anne from the board had just picked up her rental car and wanted to meet at Peppermill for breakfast #3. Thankfully I spread these meals about 4 hours apart. I had to bag on surprising MBJ and Debbie until next time. Breakfast at Peppermillâ€™s was great. While I waited I went into the lounge and made friends with yet another bartender. She asked what I did last night and I told how awesome Darrin did taking care of my wife. She laughed and told me to bring my L back in there this afternoon and she would make her a real drink. Haha This lady was cute and had spunk which I like. Iâ€™ll have to look her up next time and see if she pours a mean drink like she says. L never made it to the Peppermill even though Anne, her husband and I sat there for almost 2 hours getting to know each other. I tried like hell to grab the bill but he wouldnâ€™t let me. After some persuading they did agree to let me treat next time and the tip for this one. We hugged out a goodbye and were on our way. Anne you are one sweet lady! I make it back to the Venetian and find L stepping out of the shower, score! We baptize the room one more time before checking out late at around 4 pm. Even though I didnâ€™t drink the final day we split the driving duties on the way home. Did I mention our room had a bar? Iâ€™ve been home less than 24 hours and already I found the shower head duct taped to the wall in the shower, the deep fryer is sitting out back by the pool, the pool furniture is all rearranged and I found a pony keg of Heineken beer sitting in the front yard when we drove up. My neighbor later claimed he put the pony keg in my yard as a joke because he was pissed I went to Vegas the past 3 months in a row. My kids didnâ€™t think his joke was all that funny. I wasnâ€™t so mad they drank alcohol, but god theyâ€™re old enough to know we donâ€™t drink beer in our family. Another trip is in the books. We came home $200 ahead after all the goofing around gambling wise. That should hold us until the 3rd week of July when we are scheduled to make another appearance in Las Vegas. The End.