Vegas Virgins & more...report!

I was asked by 3 Vegas Virgins (3 women in their 40's) to set up and accompany a trip to Vegas to show them around. I obliged. I will not go into many details but detail a few of the events that stick out in my mind.
The virgins left after 5 days and I went out on a road trip and returned to Vegas on my own. The adventure began:

Friday, June 29
~ I started my vacation by riding the motorcycle 5 hours to Tunica, MS to see the Marshall Tucker Band at Sam's Town. Good show. Crazy, insane crowded casino! It was literally wall-to-wall people and at times you couldn't move due to the crowds in the casino. I'll never go back...unless there's a show I want to see.

Saturday, June 30
~Ride back home. Throw my packed bags into the car and head 2 hours to Nashville for some honky tonk'n on a Staurday night. Got into bed by 3:00 a.m.

Sunday, July 1
~ Met the Virgins at the Airport for a 3:30 p.m. departure. The hotel I stayed at had a shuttle that dropped me at the Southwest door. The Virgins, however, had to unload all their bags onto the Airport shuttle during a ferocious thunderstorm since they chose to drive up the day of the flight. They arrived soaked. Other than the fact that one of the Virgins was terrified of flying and had to be pushed through the door of the plane, the flight was uneventful.

~Arrived early in Vegas and Ramone from Presidential Limosine met us at luggage and was extremely helpful and personable. The Virgins were giggling and in awe as this was my surprise to them. Ramone asked if we would like pictures before entering the limo. We did. Then he told us to sit in the coolness of the limo as he loaded the baggage. But not before he popped open a bottle of bubbly. So as Ramone loaded baggage, the Virgins were sipping champagne and clinging to their red roses. More giggling and the first confession of one Virgin: "..alcohol makes me horny." Another Virgin says she's never drank before and she thinks she getting drunk already. The topic turns to the male strip show, "Thunder Down Under". This will be discussed on many occasions throughout the trip.

~Arrival at the Bellagio was prompt. Due to my using the Bellagio VISA card, I get to use the Invited Guest line with no waiting. The VISA also scores us buffet line passes and a 3:00 p.m. check-out time on the last day. Our rooms are on the new Spa Tower. Perfect view of the lake and fountains. Also, we didn't have to weave our way through the casino to our room or going to the pool. The elevator on the SPA wing takes you directly to the lower level that enters the pool area. I like this much better than the rooms you have to get to through the casino.

~The Virgins are ready to hit the casino floor. None have seen a real slot machine, much less table games. I begin the lesson on a simple 25 cent slot machine. I put in a $20 and the Virgins watch horrified as I loose $20 in about 2 minutes. "But you didn't get anything back!" I can see this is going to be a long lesson. I prompt them to other machines to observe as I provide simple verbal descriptions of how the slots work. Again, I'm down another $60. Not even a stink'n 2-credits for an emptly line. "That's it?", they ask. I'm starting to get embarrassed.
"Let's walk and see another casino". They choose to head across the street to the Flamingo and Bill's"
The evening becomes a sight-seeing & getting the feel of the place kinda night. We're in bed by Midnight.

Monday, July 2
~ I wake up at 8:00 a.m.! Holy crap! I never sleep that late in Vegas. Usually up to watch the sunrise. Seem's as though the Virgin I roomed with had pulled the closed the darkening curtains. When I stumbled over to the curtains and pulled them apart, my brain almost exploded from the burst of sunlight.
My Virgin roomy says she has a headache & the other Virgins run downstairs to get her coffee. As I'm getting dressed, Virgin roomy ends up with a full-blown migrain and is throwing up in the bathroom when coffee Virgins arrive.
Roomy decides to go back to bed and the other 3 of us head to Bills' for breakfast. Good, filling breakfasts for less than $10.
Then the Virgins want to try slots on their own. They play for 2 hours on $5.
I, on the other hand, watch. I loose $50 in a heartbeat! This Vegas trip is fast becoming a black hole for me and I'm reminded how the hotels are able to build big, pretty fountains out front.
Virgin roomy calls and she's headed over. She's feeling better. She feels even better when she starts winning on the slots. I try again. The black hole is getting even deeper for me. OUCH!

Lunch is at The Cheesecake Factory at Ceasars and the discussion is all about determining when and where to by tickets to Thunder Down Under.
And when to go to the Coca-cola store and the M & M store. I remind you, I'm along for the ride and it really makes no difference to where they go.

Back to the Bellagio to pick up the rental car at Dollar Rent-A-Car on site. The only problem there was that they only want one customer at a time in the office for "privacy" and the rest of the line waits in the 118 degree heat.
The Chrysler SUV is picked up and we spend the next 3 hours at Wal-mart. Then they want to go to McDonalds for coffee and tea. The rest of the night is a blur. It wasn't spent in the casinos.

Tuesday, July 3
~Up again at 8:00 a.m. Dammit! How to start the day? Ummmm...they want to go to McDonalds on the strip across from New York, New York. We park at NYNY and make our way to McDonalds. Two of the Vegas Virgins have never experienced an Egg McMuffin before. Let me repeat that: Two of the Vegas Virgins have never experienced an Egg McMuffin before. This was a major discussion of the morning meal.
~The next stop is at a sovenier store next to McDonalds. Four hours later (4), we leave the sovenier store. I sat in a corner while the Virgins bought multitudes of keychains and t-shirts. And then, they REALLY got crazy. They turned loose of $30 each and had Henna Tatoos done. Two Virgins had their tatoo done on their chest above the breast. 3rd Virgin had hers on her lower back above the butt crack. All this is done while calling their older teenage children. All the kids wanted to talk to me as they knew I would be honest. Were their mothers kidding?! Is this a joke?! I assure each of the youngsters that their mothers were indeed intoxicated and I was taking photos of the insane choices. I couldn't tell if the kids were just groaning or actually throwing up.
~Next stop, Ticket Outlet for half-price tickets to Thunder Down Under. We are to head immediately to the hotel to get the designated seat assignment for tonight's show. They get side-tracked at the Coca-Cola and M&M stores.
3 hours later, I let them know I'll go get their tickets for them and I'll meet them at NYNY.
~I meet them an hour later at NYNY where all 3 Virgins were playing Roulette. The dealer was very gracious in explaining the rules and helping them along. I join them. They were winning. My black hole got even larger.
I have yet to see a gain of $1 for my playing.
~We swing by a Mexican Restaurant near Hard Rock for supper.
~Back to the hotel. Change clothes. Then there is a sudden change of heart of one Virgin about going to Thunder. Sensory overload in Vegas can make you re-think alot of things if you've had alot of crap in your life.
Virgin #1 is a widow with 5 young sons.
Virgin #2 is a divorcee who's husband left her with children.
Virgin #3 is married but husband is on the road a month; off a month, etc.
Alot of lonliness spilled out in tears during the next few minutes. Then they decided to have small prayer circle. Then we left for Thunder Down Under.
~I sat at the bar outside the theater and drank while playing Video Poker. I let the 3 of them embark on the Thunder experience on their own. They can't be Virgins forever. I'm slowly letting them go.
After the show, talks of bi-ceps and abs abound! More giggling.
My, my. The girls are leaving the nest.
After visiting the Mandalay Bay, they realize they are hungry. They want to go to McDonald's. For the first time, I cringe.
After McDonalds, they want to stop at a HUGE Sovenier store near the Stratosphere . As they enter the sovenier shop....I head the opposite direction. To the liquor store. They buy more key chains, dice and t-shirts. I buy tequila. The shop until the store closes at 1:00 a.m. Off to McDonalds for more tea and coffee.

Wednesday, July 4.
~I don't remember much about that morning.
I do know that I drove them to the Hilton to see the play Menopause for the 2:00 show. I ate at the buffet and played slots while they were in the show.
Then off to swap cars at Dollar at the Bellagio. I swap to a smaller car that I will be using the next week for a road trip. Better milage than the SUV.
Supper is at the LongHorn near Southpoint. Still no buffets at this point so far. Oh well.

~As the sun sets, make my first decision of the tour. I take them to Red Rock Canyon to watch the sunset. They are amazed as they have never seen the "desert". "Where's the sand?" I tried to explain. But still they tried to shove the rocky "sand" into empty water bottles to take home for show-and-tell.

~On the way back to the city, someone is dying for a McDonald's tea. Someone else agrees. We find a McDonalds and get liquid refreshment to go. We head to the Stratosphere to go to the top to see fireworks around the city go off. 10,000 other people had the same idea. We decide to leave. But not before they bought more keychains and dice.
We did end up watching fireworks around the city from the 7th floor of the parking garage. It was really kinda neat.

~Than somebody decided they want to get a keychain from the M&M store they saw the day before. Sooooooo...through the 4th of July traffic to the M&M store we go.
City cops on bicycles had cars stopped everywhere. Seems as though the cops would ride between cars and spot people with "open containers" and arrest them on the spot. You talk about major gridlock on the strip!!

Back to the hotel and I'm wiped out.

Thursday, July 5
~The Virgins are schedule to leave by limo at 4:15 p.m. Late check-out at 3:00 p.m.
~The last morning, each of the Virgins have their own places to go. One wants that last picture of the lion cubs at MGM at 11:00 a.m. and another wanted to go to the Miricle Mile of Shops at Planet Hollywood and the other just wanted to roam.
~Seeing that my work was done....I knew they were Virgins no more.
I pack my bags. I only saw 2 of them before I left. The other left a voice mail.
~The Virgins made it through 5 days without loosing money or eating at a buffet. They DID leave the local McDonald's a little richer. But they made it home. I called them about 1:30 a.m. the next morning and they were on the interstate and almost home. I was in a little dive hotel casino in a western desert on Route #50...the Lonliest Road in America. I, my friends, was not alone. My friend Jose Cuervo was at my side.

Part II - Wynn Visit to follow

 

Great TR...very amusing and you're a great writer. Can't wait for the next part!

 

What's up with going to the freakin' McDonald's all the time?

 

Sound like you helped those ladies have the time of their lives. Sorry the slots weren't nicer to you. I'm greatly looking forward to part II.

 

So, the first trip to Vegas for these three and it seems all they want is Micky D's.

 

Wonderful TR and you are a great writer. Trip reports like yours is the reason I love reading TRs. I'm glad your friends had a good time.

 

Kodak Moment

Great Report!!. That had to be a Kodak moment. I'm not referring to the tears part, but having a prayer circle before a Male review show is priceless. You got to love Vegas Virgins.
Oh, what was up with going to McDonalds in Vegas?

 

Great report. After babysitting three Vegas Virgins you would have thought that the gambling gods would have looked favorably on you and you would have hit for something. I got a kick out of the numerous trips to MickeyD's and the souvenir shops.

 

McD's does do coffee and tea well... and ya can't beat the breakfast (spoken like a true former McD's breakfast shift employee). And considering one of them had never had an Egg Mc Moobie Muffin before... well, I can see the attraction. I loves me some Fatburger... for people who don't have easy access to McDs, I'll allow them the pleasure!!

Great report!!!

 

You are a great friend, Souette. And, I can speak from experience, migraines - particularly in Vegas - totally suck.

 

never had an Egg McMuffin....you didn't mention which planet these virgins were from.....McD's coffee is better than Dunkin Donuts coffee, IMHO....going into a prayer circle....sounds like they found religion

One of the best TR's in awhile, thanks for taking the time to write it up....for not going into detail, this was a hoot and a holler

 

Tequlia has that affect on me too.

Although I'm not a fan a Jose Cuervo, I will remember these three statements the next time I take Vegas Virgins to LV.

I enjoyed the 1st installment of your report. Good Stuff!

 

Damn. IT's too bad you can't remember. Sounds like there would've been a couple hella good stories that night.

Great report. It's too bad the evil lord Gamblor showed all of his favor to your friends and gave you no love.

Can't wait for part two. Great report so far.