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Twisted Sisters - July 9-13

Discussion in 'Vegas Trip Reports' started by PaigeTurner, Jul 9, 2019.

  1. PaigeTurner

    PaigeTurner Tourist

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    My Trip Report

    I don’t have anything witty, intelligent or constructive to add here. Just my first attempt at a trip report.

    The big day is finally here and Sis and I are somewhere above Oregon. I didn’t take a picture of a pet looking sad, because we are currently petless and trying our hardest to stay that way. I considered taking a picture of Hubs as he dropped us off at the airport looking all forlorn as he kissed our savings goodbye, but figured I’d better not push my luck.

    I have to admit that Sis and I are not looking as good as we have in previous trips, she’s still hot and all and I still have pretty sexy brains, but along with promising our husbands we’d stay out of local casinos, we also promised them we’d stop sneaking off to get Botox and fillers. That’s on account of our last ones going a little wonky, me with one eyebrow that was halfway up my forehead and Sis with a Juvederm mishap that looked like a giant marble on her lower lip. The funny thing about it was we decided to stop going to the cheapo “pop up” Botox party at the neighborhood salon and actually went to a certified plastic surgeon. But, I digress and will save the rest of that story for post.

    On top of the lack of enhancements, Sis and I are both a few poundages up from where we’d like to be. I don’t get it either...I dieted hard last Monday. That author is right..DIETS DON’T WORK!

    Anyway, we’re crammed back in steerage, Sis a little bent out of shape that we didn’t splurge for first class; but give me a break...it’s a 2 hour flight. We both totally overpacked which is uncharacteristic of me and completely in character for Sis. I blame the Dirty Mother my Hubs made me for a nightcap...I got sloppy and just started tossing stuff in. I won’t be surprised if I open my suitcase to discover 47 pairs of shoes and no underwear.

    This trip we are trying something different: we are taking turns being The Director of Fun for each day. Tomorrow is Sis’s day and she’s attempting to keep it a secret, but she’s terrible at that, so I already know she’s taking us to Thunder Down Under...which means we’re probably both pedophiles. We are both grandmothers, after all, young ones, but still, I thought we were aiming to have a little dignity for once. My day to be the Director is Thursday. I have a lot of fun stuff planned, so feel free to check back in.

    Thanks for reading! Cheers!
     
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  2. drac999

    drac999 Low-Roller

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    Now this looks goooood! Can't wait to follow, Paige:D
     
    Getting excited......
  3. luck.ofthe.draw

    luck.ofthe.draw VIP Whale

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    Excited to follow along! Sounds like it'll be a good trip!!
     
    Annual Trip with Boyfriend & Family - Vision Expo 2019!
  4. Depdawg227

    Depdawg227 Tourist

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    Sounds like fun, enjoy and good luck
     
  5. PaigeTurner

    PaigeTurner Tourist

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    I don’t have anything witty, intelligent or constructive to add. Just a wee update.

    I forgot to mention, Sis had killer breath on the plane. I mean, really bad. The kind that won’t be masked by mere vodka. Fire breath leaned over to tell me she had another problem: caramel macchiato kicking in in the “about to have a butt explosion way”. That explains the breath...she was backing up trying to hold it because she didn’t want to use the potty in steerage.

    We’re all checked into the Park MGM. Kiosk check in went great. We passed on the $40 upgrade, and definitely feel non buyers remorse, but our double queen room is fine with a decent view of the strip (and since we’re feeling self-righteous about passing on the upgrade, we each added $80 to our bankrolls). SisterT keeps bitching that we didn’t get a king bed because she likes to spoon. I’m glad for the separate beds, because the multiple trips, along with the duck waddle walk, are not solving her breath problem. Frankly, I’m afraid she’d poop on me in the middle of the night. That coupled with her terrible Vegas habit of popping Ambien washed down with vodka before bed, which leads to unpredictable actions. Last time she tripped over a mountain of dirty room service plates outside her door and said, “wow, those neighbors ate a TON last night!” Then she got her bill at checkout...but I digress and will save the rest of that story for a different post.

    I’ll try to take some decent pics along our journey. But we are both super thirsty, so off to the bar for some VP and a drink or twelve.

    Thanks for reading! We are off to start our bad behavior. Cheers!
     
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  6. fugsworth

    fugsworth High-Roller

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    I gotta say, for some reason my lizard brain processed this as "Sia had killer breath on the plane... etc" and it gave me one hell of a mental picture. o_O
     
  7. Scotch12rox

    Scotch12rox Tourist

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    What sort of upgrade did they offer? 40 total or per night? What type of room?
     
  8. Syringe Monkey

    Syringe Monkey Hero of the Baggage Carousel...

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    Ambien is not OK.
     
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  9. Astribling

    Astribling VIP Whale

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    Sounds like a great trip! Hope you and sis have a wonderful and winning time!
     
    Fall Getaway, Cosmo - Subject to change upon better offers
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  10. PaigeTurner

    PaigeTurner Tourist

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    $40 per night on a comped room. To a suite. We are totally non buyers remorsing!
     
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  11. kleland

    kleland Low-Roller

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    This looks like fun! Following along for the shenanigans. :popcorn::popcorn:
     
  12. PaigeTurner

    PaigeTurner Tourist

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    I don’t have anything witty, intelligent or constructive to add here, just a little update.

    Day one was a bit boring for the Twisted Sisters. After check in we went wandering around The Park, picked up new players cards and dropped a few dollars on gambling at the center bar. The bartenders immediately gravitated to SisterT while I sat invisible next to her; a phenomena to which I’ve become accustomed. In any event, we sat there for a couple hours drinking Vodkas and slow playing. No substantial wins and only one 4 of a kind, but didn’t break the bankroll either. I had a tiny, but mojo wrecking mishap when I got bored with VP and scrolled through other games. I was checking out what they had with slots and the next thing I know the stupid machine was rolling. For a $45 bet! Ugh. Of course it doesn’t hit when you accidentally do something like that - a punishment for stupidity.

    We moved away from the center bar and hit a few slots here and there, our daily allotment was taking a hit! Bottom line: The Parks machines weren’t doing it for us! We wandered to NYNY, found a bite to eat (nothing picture worthy) then played for a little while and since neither of us were hitting, we de decided to wander outside.

    Because we were feeling self righteous about our amazing restraint and self control, we decide to shoot a serious of selfie videos to send to our family’s. How dare they accuse us of drunk videoing? We were brilliant. I am sure of it; in fact, we were so brilliant we decided we’d start doing a podcast. I’m sure that endeavor will be as wildly successful as our videos. We stopped and bought a bag full of snacks and headed to our room to chill for a bit. Next thing we knew it was 6:00 am. So much for burning down the town on night one!

    I’m a natural born swing shifter and mornings aren’t usually my friend, but today I feel ready to attack the world early. Weird.

    Today SisterT is in charge as Director of Fun. So if we aren’t boring you to death, check back in for an update. Time to get the party started!

    Thanks for reading! Cheers.
     
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  13. DozerTheBulldog

    DozerTheBulldog Low-Roller

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    More "bad behavior" needed ASAP please
     
  14. Mitkraft

    Mitkraft VIP Whale

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    OH my gosh, you keep saying you don't have anything witty to add but your posts are hilarious! Your language and style and the fact that you are two sisters is reminding me of a show I can't remember the name of but it was like the Golden Girls in real life and the ladies were always talking trash and ribbing each other in such a way that had me rolling. Definitely following along, you two sound like a hoot!
     
  15. cvkelz

    cvkelz Extremely Low Roller- like, I barely roll at all.

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    Following along, this is going to be good!
    Good luck!!!!
     
    Annual trip to my happy place!!!!!
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  16. Vegasworm

    Vegasworm Finger Clicker Extraordinaire

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    Good stuff! Let's see some sister selfies!

    Vegasworm
     
    Summer Fun with the Kiddos!
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  17. Horseplayer1

    Horseplayer1 Low-Roller

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    We want the podcast!

    Following
     
    Next trip-Can't wait!
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  18. PaigeTurner

    PaigeTurner Tourist

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    I don’t have anything witty, intelligent or constructive to addhere, just a tiny update.

    Today was SisterT’s day as Director of Fun. We are 2/3 of the way thru her day, back at our room getting presentable for debauchery at the Thunder (God I’m embarrassed...and slightly intrigued).

    We had a lovely breakfast at Primrose here in the hotel. Eggs Benny
    for both of us. It was pretty and delicious and I would post a pic, but 1) I didn’t take one and 2) I don’t think I can post one even if I did, because of newby status here on the boards.

    Then with our tiny stash in hand we made our way first to the Aria (lost) then to my favorite place to hang out and slow play, the sports bar at the Bellagio. To backtrack a bit, SisterT and I were pretty frustrated when our Mom told our littlest adopted sister that we were going into Vegas the same time as her. She’s here for a convention for blind people. She’s great, don’t get us wrong, but she’s not debauchery materiel. She’s been sheltered by our Mormon mother. We’ve been dodging her texts for a couple of reasons, the first being she likes to trip us up with that pesky white cane; the other is that she has a frickin big mouth and likes to tell on us to said Mormon mom. I get it! I’m double nickels years old and why do I care if Mom disapproves? Well...you’ve never met her! Anywho...

    After finally taking a call from littlest blind sister, we’ve had to rethink our plans for tonight. Sheltered Sis skipped her reception with the rest of the 3,500 blind people last night and took a cab, by herself downtown to a Vietnamese restaurant, then asked to be taken to a bar (because she’s never been to one) luckily her roommate from the convention called her and demanded that she get back to the Mandalay Bay. ShelteredSis was a little surprised she was noticed missing...because 3,500 blind people. Her words folks!


    So now, SisterT and I are back in our room valiantly trying to sober up and get presentable so we can cruise by Mandalay Bay to take ShelteredSis to her first bar. In between we will stop by the Excalibur to see if we can add a ticket to The Thunder. When we asked ShelteredSis if she was interested and explained what the show was she said, “penis’s? why would anyone want to see a bunch of ding-alings bouncing around?” After explaining they weren’t naked we told her that maybe when they recognized she was blind they'd let her “see” with her hands....suddenly she’s interested...go figure.

    Oh, boy.

    Thanks for reading...more later! Cheers!
     
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  19. Depdawg227

    Depdawg227 Tourist

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    Love your sense of humor, enjoy your night and no touching..
     
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  20. Valgal

    Valgal VIP Whale

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    Awesome. Very funny. Y’all should meet up with @ FormallyTD. Twisted sense of humor.
     
    Because Texas is not hot enough in August