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Trip Report-March Madness (3/24-29) DAY THREE

Discussion in 'Vegas Trip Reports' started by farkingidiot, May 4, 2004.

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  1. farkingidiot

    farkingidiot High-Roller

    May 19, 2003
    The Great Midwest..Ugh...
    Trips to Las Vegas:

    My Trip Report

    Okay, where was I? Oh, yeah. We were on our way to Cheetahs. I have no idea what time it was. Thurs nite, Fri morn.

    Sweaty went last year, the newbies had never been and I’d seen the inside of Cheetahs a time or two. There wasn’t too much of a crowd and not a ton of girls. I warned the guys to only give attention to a girl if they liked her. Their job is to take your money, so you may get the full court press. Spend on who you like. And don’t let them make you hit the ATM inside. I once saw a girl literally escort a guy to the ATM and stand there while he took out more money, then it was right back to the VIP room. You KNOW she was putting a Hoover to that bank account. We’re barely in our seats before two girls immediately sit down with us and start yakking. After 10-15 minutes, Monkeyman decides to go into the VIP room. The deal is three dances for $100. (used to be 4 dances. Ah, well.) The other girl asked me a couple of times if I wanted one, whispering in my ear and sitting on my lap. I politely declined. She acted shocked. I told her I was there to have some beers and break in the newbies. It was funny. It was like a switch flipped and she went from work mode to hanging out. She and I sat and talked almost the rest of the time I was there, laughing our butts off. (Turns out she came from the same type background as I’m from)

    So anyways, Monkeyman comes walking back from the VIP truly looking roughed up. I told the guys to take a look at him. We all start laughing and asking him how it was. He comes, sits down and holds his hand up, as if to say, “don’t talk.†He then throws back the rest of his Crown and coke, then turns his chair kind of away from us and starts kinda staring off, not quite at anything. We keep trying to pick on him, but all we got was the hand. I started to think something was wrong, when he jumps up and starts waving his hands above his head, loudly saying, “This place is TIGHT!! That girl is the TRUTH!! I am NEVER going back to a strip club back home ever again!!..†He kept babbling his praise as he kinda hopped from one foot to the other. Then he comes over and HUGS me, thanking us for bringing him. [​IMG] (It was one of those guy hugs where you bump your right shoulder up again their right shoulder and you pat their back as you half hug.I heard a comedian describes it as a homophobe hug. It’s like a guy’s saying “I’m huging ya, but I’m hitting ya.)

    I lean over to the girl I’ve been talking to and ask her to bring in an assassin for the other newbie. I wanted him taken down. She complies. Next thing we know, Jehovah is being ushered into the VIP. (Why do we call him Jehovah? He grew up a devout Jehovah’s witness. About a year ago, his faith kinda took a backseat and he started hanging out every weekend at the bars and going through women every chance he could. Who knows?)

    It starts to be a long while and I know J doesn’t have that much money on him. About that time, I look up to see, yes…….him being led to the ATM machine. Cha-ching, then back to the VIP. You poor dumb sucker. [​IMG] [​IMG]

    Okay, at one point I see this girl sitting at the stage, who I think is absolutely gorgeous. She’s not working there. Wearing jeans. And she’s more than a little heavy. I’d noticed her earlier. I went over and introduced myself, telling her that I liked the way she carried herself and that she was very attractive. I feel like you should tell people if you like something about them. We jawed briefly before she reaches in her purse and writes down her cell number and tells me to call her. [​IMG] [​IMG] Then she says that she has a girlfriend who might like to join us. I’m thinking “Whoa! I just came by to give this girl a compliment.†I said my goodbye and went back to the guys and told them what happened.

    Eventually I got a dance, too. The girl I was talking to had a best friend who was working. She promised me the best dance of my life if I went back to the VIP room. I declined. She really, really, promised. I reminded them that I worked as a security at a strip club back home for about a year. The hard sell was lost on me. She offered 5 dances for $100. She was so funny about it, I said, what the hey.

    OMG. She was right. Oh, man, was she right. I felt like I’d been molested when it was over. Really molested. I suddenly felt the need for a confessional. [​IMG] And fresh clothing. (I must say, I’ve been to Crazy Horse II and OGs and Cheetahs blows them away in the fun factor. You may get better looking girls at OGS, but Cheetahs always has the most personable girls with the best dances)

    So, we’re getting ready to leave and these two Filipino girls walk past Sweaty and ask him if he wants a dance, as he’s standing up. He tells them we’re leaving. They push him back into his chair. As he gets up again, they push him back down, then start dancing in front of him. After a few minutes, Sweaty gets up and we start to leave, when one of the girls grabs Sweaty by the arm and demands her money. He tells her he didn’t ask for a dance. They immediately start getting loud and shoving on him. WTF?? Sweaty starts getting that crazy look like he had the first day when he was getting kicked out of casinos. I knew I had to diffuse things fast. If a bouncer came over, I knew he’d side with the girls. I stepped in between them and gave the girls a DOLLAR and told the to split it between them. They started to gripe even louder before I growled in the ear of the 6 foot tall one (!!) and told her to take the money and get out of our faces or I’d make as much trouble for them as I could, then I mustered up the most hateful stare I could. [​IMG] They wandered away.

    As we left, Jehovah and Monkeyman took the point. They shoved the entrance doors open and AUUGHH!! We were blinded by the rising sun. Yes, kids, we’d been up all night. It was 7:00 a.m.

    And the walk of shame begins.

    Even though no one knows where you’ve been, YOU know where you’ve been, so walking back to your room, you think everyone is noticing that you smell like an assortment of women’s perfume, you have glitter all over you that’s rubbed off from the girls and you’re wearing clothing that you’d wear to go out nightclubbing…at 7 in the morning.

    We’d been up for god knows how many hours. We’re tired. Still a little drunk. It’s time for bed. So what do we do? Go to the breakfast at Bellagio!! :eek:

    Bellagio has my absolute favorite brunch in Vegas.
    Here’s where the boys piss me off a bit, again. Those of you who’ve been know Bellagio has a divergent spread of food, and gourmet type food, to boot. So we all sit down with our plates and all those guys have on their plates are eggs, sausage and pancakes. And Sweaty had some chicken. All the guys were weirded out at my plate. How could I eat sweet and sour chicken with eggs, and what’s THAT? And a lot of the food up there looks weird. (I’m thinking “Grow up. Try some new things in life. There’s more to life than Popeye’s chicken and Bob Evans.) Then one of them had the nerve to say that the Bellagio food wasn’t very good! Grrr. I’m all for accounting for different tastes and you may not care for a particular dish, but for one of the to say the food overall wasn’t very good? At Bellagio? What was HIS reference point?

    So we get back to the Royale around 10:00 a.m. and run into Mechanic and Dan, who’re on their way out. Mechanic says he’s going to try his hand at craps. I decide to join him, while the rest of the guys went to bed.

    I ended up playing craps for almost 3 hours before realizing it’d been so long since I’d been to bed that I couldn’t remember. (I bought in for $100, got down to $40, started betting the darkside, the field with sporatic place bets and got up around $160. I ultimately walked away up 5 whole dollars.) So around 1:00 p.m., I finally went to bed. I called my wife, gave her a brief rundown of things and asked her to give me a wakeup call for 8 p.m. Vegas time.

    Most of the guys were a bit toasty from the previous night and had a hard time rallying. I took a shower around 9:00, after watching, once again, What a Girl Wants. I talked everyone into going to The Beach. It sucked!! That’s the third time that’s happened to me. Never again. (Imagine going to house party where everyone knows each other and won’t talk to you. Definite clicky UNLV crowd.)

    The rest of the guys punked out on the rest of the evening, so Jehovah and I decided to paint the town.

    We hit Studio 54: Great dance music. Top forty grooves and rap, but not the thuggy, hardcore stuff. Started playing techno around 1 a.m. for a bit. We were outta there.

    Mandalay Bay lobby bar: Okay music. 80’s cover band, but the place was PACKED. It was VERY fun. People were very personable. As we were getting into the cab from MGM, a really pretty girl asked to share a cab with us. (We’d been yakking in line with her.) I told her sure, but there was a moment when she and I looked at each other and then kinda smiled. It was the “you know and I know I’m a working girl, but I really just want a ride.†On the ride over, she put my arm around her and rode the way over there with her head resting on my chest. Not saying a word. When it came time to pay, I told her it was my treat. She gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and wished me a good night. I wished her the same, then raised my eyebrow. She laughed and waved me off as she walked inside. (and she had this english accent that I couldn’t tell if it was real or a gimmick on her part.)

    Drais: I don't know what to tell you. My bachelor party, I though we went to Drai's, so I figured I'd make a return engagement. This wasn't the place I remembered. I don't liike this place. A lot of rich kids strutting around trying to look cool. Looking back, I think I was so drunk I blurred the last part of the evening and I was at Club Rio? who knows. Drai's? I'm not feeling it.

    Early breakfast-Grand Lux: Finally. Had some really funny, fun waitresses who invited us to meet them at Gilleys Saturday night for Bullriding. (We never went.)

    Okay, I know I’ve been a bit long winded. I just didn’t want to leave some stuff out I found funny or interesting…and I still left some stuff out.

    There were two more days left on the trip. Tomorrow, I’ll just give my impressions of places we went. There were no real stories the last two days to rival what I’ve already written and I know I’ve written some real tomes! LOL! Thanks for reading..

    [ May 04, 2004, 09:35 AM: Message edited by: farkingidiot ]
  2. milehiman

    milehiman VIP Whale

    Sep 21, 2002
    Scottsdale, AZ
    This is great trip report.

    I can't believe that you stayed up that long, I'd be dead on my feet. Can't wait for the final day's report.
  3. tvon

    tvon VIP Whale

    Jan 14, 2004
    Boston, Ma
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    this guy is great.. loved the cheetah's story, i gotta stop in that place..
  4. hard_eight 24

    hard_eight 24 Tourist

    Feb 9, 2003
    Cleveland, OH
    In Cleveland, I like to call it a"Thug Hug"

    Good times had by all at Cheetah's! Man I can't wait for the next 19 days to pass by!!!
    I like this format of day by day (or is it more like day and a halves).
    Keep it rolling...
  5. rje

    rje High-Roller

    Jan 14, 2003
    "I once saw a girl literally escort a guy to the ATM and stand there while he took out more money"

    So did I.. it was my friend! We were at Crazy Horse 2 about 2 years ago... they come walking out from the back, arms locked striaght to the ATM... i still laugh when i think of it [​IMG]
  6. LV Terry

    LV Terry Captain Flop'N Fold

    Sep 30, 2001
    Santa Barbara, CA, USA
    Great story! Thanks for taking the time to write it up.

    Absolutely concurr on Cheetah's...it has the best feel to me. I was laughing out loud at your friend who came back from the VIP room....I've brought that guy to Cheetah's, and I've Been that guy at Cheetah's.. hahahahaa

    Had to laugh at the Bellagio story as well...seen that too...I think some people automatically go to "this isn't that great" when they can't think of something to say.

    The Walk of Shame. Feelin' that. hahahahahaa

    outstanding report.

  7. YoungGun

    YoungGun VIP Whale

    Aug 4, 2003
    Southern California
    Just catching up on my reading.

    Great trip report man. Sounds like you had fun.

    I totally feel you about the friends that want Denny's when you're in Las Vegas. Just like my friends, but I'm working on it ;)
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