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"Trip report" from our local paper in Sioux falls, Check this out !!

Discussion in 'Vegas Trip Reports' started by DakotaJoe, May 28, 2004.

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  1. Vegas not what you may expect
    By: Robert Morast
    Argus Leader

    Published: May 27, 2004

    So, I was in Las Vegas last week and saw Elvis only once – he was trying to convince people that renting a Dodge Viper would make them appear cooler on the Strip.

    And as I watched my 6-foot 10-inch friend Doug Swenson share a wedding kiss with a wife 18 inches shorter than him, I was alternately pleased and disappointed. Joy surged through me knowing one of my best friends has found his soulmate. But as the best man in a Vegas wedding, I was miffed to be wearing a tux (way too formal for Vegas) and sad that Elvis wasn’t beside us singing, “I, can’t, help, falling in loovve with … yooouuuu.â€

    It’s probably an insult to The Vegas (anyone who watches “The O.C.†knows all the coolest kids call it “The Vegasâ€) that going into my first visit of the desert city since age 10, I expected to see gambling, guys dressing and partying like the Rat Pack and Elvis available in every incarnation imaginable – I was sure I’d see an Elvis snake charmer.

    I blame my faulty expectations on pop culture stereotypes.

    Somewhat ironically, what I found in The Vegas – aside from tons and tons of literature on call girls – wasn’t a perception of pop culture, but a behind-the-scenes tour of how our pop culture is produced. Here’s a taste of my three-day dash through a city that actually encourages people to smoke indoors and drink beer on the sidewalks.

    While wandering aimlessly through the MGM Grand Hotel and Casino, a sharp-dressed man (Frank and Dean would have been proud) handed me a piece of paper, which I assumed was more literature on call girls. So, naturally, I looked. Instead of skin, I found an invitation to a test screening of future CBS television programming. Giddyup.

    What was interesting about this wasn’t discovering how contrived the new “CSI: New York†series is, but how people are expected to grade prospective TV shows.

    Viewers are given a digital dial ranging from 1-100 – 1 being the lowest rank and 100 the highest. While the show airs, they’re expected to give real-time approval ratings by constantly changing the dial to an appropriate number. My counter hovered around “44†most of the episode.

    Most viewers seemed to watch the dial more than the show. Given that, it’s no wonder the network TV airwaves constantly are filled with banality.

    After fighting sleep throughout the test screening, I hitched a taxi back to my bed at the Hard Rock Hotel. On my way to the elevator, I was distracted by a winding line of a couple hundred people. Curious, I asked what it was and discovered that Carson Daly was taping his late-night talk show in The Vegas. Nice.

    I stepped in line with the wide-eyed tourists and unbelievably gorgeous local women all hoping to be “discovered†in the audience of an unimportant talk show.

    A side note now: Beautiful women have an advantage in our world. In The Vegas, that advantage is multiplied by 10. Sexy ladies don’t work normal jobs – they get paid to sit by the pool or “entice†men to come to clubs.

    Back to Daly’s show. Here’s all you need to know about the experience: The three hotties in front of me were seated at a table mere feet from the front of Daly’s couch. I and the fat guy behind me were shuffled to a poker table sitting behind and to the left of Daly’s couch where we had a great view of the back of his head. Plastic surgery does pay.

    But, being ugly has its advantages. Because I was seated in the back, my table was the first to be positioned at the front of a stage where indie-rocker Ben Kweller performed. Covered in denim, Kweller and his band were forced to perform the same song twice – for the integrity of the shoot.

    After three days of wandering around The Vegas, it’s clear why this isolated Nevada city isn’t hypersaturated with Elvis clones: The Vegas doesn’t mirror pop culture’s past. It projects pop culture’s future.

    Right now, the future appears to be incomprehensibly beautiful women who write “No†on their tank tops in black marker, and literature on call girls.

    In an effort to solve world hunger, Robert Morast suggests eating. He can be reached at 331-2313 or [email protected]
  2. Bludemun

    Bludemun Guest

    Three days in Vegas and all this weenie can do is talk about the back of Carson Daly's head. Gee, he knows how to have a good time. :rolleyes:
  3. HoyaHeel

    HoyaHeel Grammar Police & Admin

    Feb 24, 2002
    North Carolina
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    Either that or he was really drunk for three days, forgot to take any notes, and this is all he could come up with to get paid this week :rolleyes:
  4. jugdish76

    jugdish76 Low-Roller

    Dec 22, 2002
    Los Angeles
    With that insight and writing style, it's no wonder this bozo is writing for such a small and irrelevant paper.
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