OK this was a long time coming .... The night before my departure to Vegas my best friend's girlfriend calls and says come on out for a while, there is a music festival on downtown and her boyfriend is away on business ... I get to chaperon her and her friend (both blonde hotties). It's only 6pm on a Saturday night so I thought sure I'm packed ready to go so a couple of hours of light drinking with 2 beautiful women will start this vacation on the right foot. I really should have known better. A couple of hours turn into a night of wild drinking and dancing getting me home at 3:30am. My flight is at 6am. Sunday ...... Sleep for one hour ... alarm rings ... up ... looks in mirror ...Oh God! Shower, shave ... out the door ... arrive at the airport ... offered free return ticket to take the later flight ... try to think ... stick to original plan ... fly to Seattle ... get to immigration ... Why do you want into the USA? ... We don't have a Vegas in Canada ... Passport .... Why have you travelled to all these countries that are in conflict? ... work with the military ... ID ... This doesn't look like you! ... I've only had one-hour of sleep ... Ok ... Stamps passport ... Oh crap! date is wrong on stamp ... pissed off look at Immigration Officer ... don't worry about it. On to customs ... sniffer dogs look at me strangely ... then walks away. 3 hour wait for flight from Seattle to Vegas ... don't want to sleep and miss flight. Onto plane ... amazing redhead lady sits next to me ... play it very cool .... guy sits next to her and ignores her. Start chit chat with her ... going to Vegas to see boyfriend ... Oh! Chat a little throughout flight. Arrive Vegas ... pick up bags ... buy shuttle bus tix. Huge line up for shuttle bus. Last time there saw Elvis directing traffic ... scanning ... no Elvis! Load onto bus ... tall sexy blond walks on ... recognize her ... but from where ... hmmmm ... she asks for Venetian ... remember ... Porn Star ... but who ... brain not working ... chat with some passengers and driver ... She gets off ... still can't remember who she is ... Damn. Get to Mirage ... Check in ... chat with reservation lady ... very nice person ... don't need upgrade ... remember it's only me. Wonders why I am leaving before July 4th? Explain ... Canadian and need to get back to work for Mon. She gives $40 off food and beverage and tix to Dolphin habitat. Off to room ... unpack ... 3pm ... what to do first? Don't want to go to the pool, sleep? (for wimps!) decide to walk the strip ... only 104F outside. Go through Caesars forum shops (new shop area not open) into Bellagio .. across street ... back towards Mirage ... find Margaritaville ... decide I needed some fluids .. taste one margarita ... two, three, six? ... OK need to get back to hotel to lay down. Realize I can't walk that far ... hail cab. Cabbie starts chatting ... explain story ... girlfriend broke up with me, birthday week, here alone ... he says, "I know were you should go" suddenly I see Mirage passing by; maybe he knows a different entrance? ... drives off strip ... stops at small mall(?) ... hand him fare and good tip ... cabbie gets out ... I follow him ... he walks me into place past huge guy ... says it's his birthday pointing at me ... I try to explain that it's not my birthday today but cabbie pulls me in before I could finish ... into dark area ... a little nervous ... trip on stairs ... righting self I see a bar ... cabbie talking to bartender says that it's my birthday and rest of story ... before I could get over there and try again to explain that my birthday is later in the week, bartender hands me a beer and says "Happy Birthday" Who am I to argue about a free beer! I turn to say "Thank You" to the cabbie but he is gone! Turn to bartender ... also gone! Turn around wondering where everyone went to and where I am ... assume that I am still in Nevada ... See stage ... pole ... 1/2 naked ladies ... realize strip joint! Need to sit down ... look around ... see big sign behind bar "Prostitution is Illegal in Clarke County" chuckle to myself ... still in Nevada! ... find bar stool. See another sign ... Cheetahs ... OK ... heard of this place know now that I'm still in Vegas. Start relaxing a little. Take drink of beer thinking that I should have eaten something besides airline food today, should have gotten more sleep, wondering how I am getting back to hotel, wondering if this is the first couple of hours in Vegas how am I going to survive the week!! Suddenly realize that someone is speaking to me ... look into mirror behind bar and see this stunning creature beside me! I turn realizing that she is talking to me .... [As this site is not password protected to prevent under age people from viewing I will not go into details] Later its 4 ... 5 ... maybe 6am (not wearing a watch) and I need to get some sleep. Walk out of bar ... still dark out ... good sign ... hopefully its still the same day. Valet hails cab ... back to Mirage. Walk into hotel like I was sneaking into my parent's house when I was a teenager who missed curfew. Suddenly realized that I'm an adult, no one knows me here ... and this sort of thing is not unusual for Vegas. Start striding! Walking through the atrium I spot two nice looking ladies walking towards me. They look at each other, look at me, they say "hi" in tandem. I respond "How are you ladies tonight or this morning .. what time is it?" They giggle. Chit chat in the middle the rainforest. I realize that they are not being friendly for friendly purposes ... they are professionals!!! I excuse myself saying it's been a long night already but I will be here all week with shows at 5, 7 and 9 nightly ... they laugh and say good night. Over to elevators ... trying to remember what floor my room is on ... finally find room, see that it is 5:30am collapse on bed. Monday .... Up at 7am cursing body for getting up at regular time that I do for work. Start to remember what happened a few hours ago ... smile on my face ... look around room ... large living area, small bathroom, clean, look out the window ... view of pool, Rio, can look South down the strip ... will do for the week. Decide to go down and get some food and relax by the pool for the day. Grab a muffin and juice at the deli and head out to the pool. As I am only looking for one chair it was easy to find an empty one. Collapse into chair, smear SPF 60 on me, enjoy muffin and juice ... nap for a little while. Swim, more lotion, nap, repeat, etc ... order Pina Colada from very well endowed waitress ... look around pool spot several more well endowed waitresses ... seems to be job requirement for them ... look around again to see if it is a "Hooters" franchise ... sort of hoping for some wings. As the drink arrives I remember that they serve very large drinks. A nice relaxing day. 6 pm rolls around (have watch with me) and decide to head to the room for a little while. Grab a shower, take off the layers of suntan lotion. Decide that dinner is needed ... head to Cravings. Interesting room design and layout of food stations. Excellent staff ... never a dirty plate or empty drink on my table. Food is mostly good, desserts not as good. Time to explore .. walk part of the strip ... get to Mandalay Bay ... find The Art of Shaving ... make appointment (See Friday). Decide that it's Party Time ... but where. What the [email protected]%# .. end up back at Cheetahs ... some of the same ladies ... some different. Hit it off with a couple of them ... 4am ... back to the Mirage ... with real names and phone numbers from two of the ladies ... hmmmm ... life could get interesting. Tuesday ... Pool Time ... getting old ... need to relax. Same routine as yesterday. Made some local phone calls Dinner ... Caesars Cheesecake Factory ... 15 minute wait ... wander the shops ... get table on second floor ... very cute waitress ... chat with her ... get recommendations ... take all of them ... good food ... huge quantities ... finish only 1/2 of desert. Wander strip ... Bellagio Fountain show, people watch ... decide to take it easy ... spend some time at a couple of lounges looking for a good scotch bar ... Fontana Bar @ Bellagio, end up at Ava lounge at Mirage ... meet up with some people ... early night. Wednesday .... Pool Time ... spent time at the dolphin habitat and secret garden. Interesting, nice shade in the secret garden. Dinner Bellagio Buffet .. what can be said? Expensive ... but you get what you pay for! Excellent food. Party Time ... continue searching strip for good scotch bar ... got to Mandalay Bay Rumjungle ... no real scotch assortment ... cool looking ... lots of fire and water ... one good bartender ... rest of staff ignored me. Off to RA ... stood in line for a while ... meet two cute girls ... get inside ... very interesting bar ... turns out here on wrong night ... crowd really young. Feel like I am babysitting. Couple of drinks ... off to Mirage ... drinks and a bit of gambling at sports bar. Off to sleep. Thursday ... Pool time again ... Meet group of ladies sitting beside me, their husbands are all gambling. Chit Chat on and off all day ... one wants to set me up with her daughter. She is not in Vegas and doesn't live close to where I do. Oh well ... Off to Cravings again for dinner. Same as last time ... great service, some amazing dishes ... some good. Dessert still needs help. Party Time ... Studio 54 My uncle was a regular at the original during it's hey days and has told me stories ... so I had some expectations. Most were met ... Two amazing looking couples appear on stage ... introductions ... staff members ... "we will be in the Doll House all evening ... come in and dress us up in whatever fantasy outfit that you want!" My knees almost buckle and I believe that my heart skipped a beat! Having fun ... lots of activity ... acrobats from the roof, girls dancing in cages, lots of drinking, dancing and meeting new people. Friday ... Last full day Relax in the room for a while. Walk up the strip to Mandalay Bay for my appointment at the Art of Shaving ... booked a Royal Service .. straight razor shave, mask, massage. After all the sun on my face this week it was very soothing. Bought their book. Walked through Luxor to valet .. 2nd in line ... cab in front would not take the couple in front of me to their hotel somewhere off strip .. valet offers cab to me .. no thanks ... cab takes off... the couple in front of me gets into next cab and I get into the one following. Off to the Gun Store. Cabbie says it's a very popular place with tourists. Arrive. A little old lady behind the counter says Hi. What did I want to shoot? Picked the two submachine guns that I wanted. Handed over coupon from website and cash. signed consent sheet. that was it!!! In Canada they would have brought you to a lawyer and have a medical before doing this!!! No ID, no asking if I was some kind of psycho. She said pick your target ... oh crap choices ... Sadam? Osama? Nope just a standard target for me. Grabbed ear and eye protection and met the range safety person. Huge guy dressed in black with a .45 auto on his belt. Looks at me hahaha another tourist! Here's me in a Hawaiian shirt, shorts, sandals and face glowing from the shave!!! Takes me into the indoor range. 1 minute safety brief. loads the gun and says have fun! Start shooting, clip one done ... I hand the gun to safety officer to reload, chuckles to myself, gives gun back to me ... empty next magazine. Safety guy puts up next target, loads other gun MP5. Start shooting ... notice that all other shooters stopped firing. Feel presence behind me. Quick peek, Range safety guy has hand on his .45, eeek! Other shooters are behind him watching me shoot. Empty the first magazine, hand gun to safety officer, he loads next clip, hands gun back continue shooting ... empty ... total time less then 5 minutes? Brings target back in, everyone is looking at groupings saying very good, I'm thinking crap ... that will never do for work! Must be the ammo they use here, or the well used gun?, lighting? the weather? .... hmmm must practice when I get back. Say thanks to the safety guy, out to the counter, collect the targets. I ask the lady behind the counter if she could call a cab for me. She says no ... bus stop outside will be here in 3 minutes cost $1 something will take me to the strip. Asked if I have enough change? What nice people!!! A definite return on my next visit! One of the customers comes up and complements me on my fine shooting ... at that point I had to tell them that a couple of weeks earlier I had put 1200 rounds through one of my rifles in 1.5 days while hunting prairie dogs getting 1000 of them (they are a plague in our area). The look on all of their faces was priceless. I said thanks, had a great time and off I went leaving everyone in there speechless. A couple of minutes later the bus comes by and I hop on. Do you know that the busses talk to you ... I was starting to think that there were voices in my head! ... The voice on the bus tells you what the next cross street is and the connecting busses you can find there ... Very Cool. Just before getting off the buss I notice this lady beside me with a tattoo of the Canadian flag on her shoulder. I ask were she is from and I tell her my city. Getting off the bus she says have a great trip. Now at NYNY ... thinking I need to get to my room for a couple of minutes to drop off all this stuff (Shaving book and used targets from the Gun Store). So I meander my way down the strip visiting each hotel, buying this and that souvenir for friends. Get back to Mirage .. realize haven't eaten yet today ... No line-up at California Pizza ... get bar seat to watch the cooking action. Order a rootbeer and sweet and spicy Italian sausage ... watch cooks putting pizza in oven ... no timers!!! All Instinct ... amazing! Great food and service. Couple sitting beside me change order 5 times ... feel sorry for waitress! Up to room ... relax for a while. Dinner time ... off to Samba Brazilian Steakhouse ... good food! Tonnes of meat! Feeling a little stuffed. Time to party ... Rio - VooDoo Lounge 51 floors above the ground and outside. What to drink???? Brain reverts back to standard fair .. McClellan 12 (Single malt scotch). Walk over to railing and look out over strip, downtown, mountains .... realize there is a full moon ... watch Bellagio Fountain show ... can't hear music ... start seeing fireworks downtown, and the on the strip. Watch show looking down at the fireworks ... cool perspective! Start chit chatting with people ... Meet British Girl here on last week of freedom before moving to Asia for work. Very cool! Talk for what seemed like a couple of hours. She wonders off to get something. Drunken Frat Boy (DFB) comes up and complements me on my girlfriend ... start explaining that I just met her but realize DFB is not comprehending anything I am saying. Is the problem he or I? He pulls me over to his group ... turns out group of guys who drove 14 hours from Alberta ... I mention there are airplanes that fly from there to here in only a couple of hours. Some chuckle, others stare blankly at me. Again wonder if its them or me? Continue drinking and chatting with DFBs ... onto 6th or more scotch watching moon pass over strip, remember was talking with British Girl ... look around no sign of her. DFBs decide its time to throw one of their friends over the railing! Very drunk but still recognize this as not being a good thing. Yell to them ... "free round" ... they put guy back down and head for bar ... I really think that the bar should have comped me for saving that guys life but I ended up buying a round for them. Continue partying until staff says ... bars closed! Damn! Start heading to elevator ... meet British Girl ... she says I've been looking for you ... Saturday .... Arrive back at Mirage at 7:30 am ... OH CRAP ... have to check out by 8. Quick shower, change, pack and out on time ... off to airport ... check in ... selected for search . Get on plane ... Idiot couple sitting beside me complaining ... pilot trying to hit all the bumps ... didn't get a second helping of ice cream ... are we there yet?, etc ... Wanted to give them an ice cream hat! Put on headphones ... try to catch up on sleep. Get home ... friends call ... party time ... out to house party ... they all wanted to know what happened .. I Just Smile!