Trip Report #16: BeeeJay's Caesarean Adventure Due to the stressors of today's economy and the constant strain of life in general in the second millenium, I took an inventory of my priorities and decided that almost two weeks was far to long a time to starve myself of the Vegas-ness I so craved. Therefore, just 13 days after my return from the Palazzo trip with friends and sister I decided it was time to give Caesar a try. I would normally have reserved at Encore or Palazzo, but given the primary group of friends I would be hangin' with this trip were comped at Caesars, it seemed like the ideal time to use my crappy Harrah's comp of probably $10 per night off the rack rate and check the old dog out. BeeeJay's Caesarean Adventure is the tale of this 7-day/6-night stay in the classical beauty, the REAL Caesars Palace. Sorry for the delay in the trip report. I was busy today at my Drs. office where I suggested the follow up appt take place at Caesars Palace, the doc did a double take, said "YES!" and looked at me as if I may know him. Turns out he is a diamond level craps player who stays RFB at Caesars on a quarterly basis! So given that coincadink, I figure my relationship with Caesars is fate and I better get on this trip report------Enjoy: Sunday 30th About halfway thru my light traffic morning drive thru the ghetto my mind did an involuntary internal calculation, I could have saved a few bucks and the pain of a drive by using a limo as I am staying a number of days. Oh well, shoulda thought of that earlier, plus its sort of nice to just be to yourself on that drive back sometimes. The flight to Vegas was enjoyable as I had the company of some nice older ladies headed to Ontaria, CA. But the real show was the view of wild fire from plane: This wildfire was out east of Vegas a ways, but the sky in general was full of smoke from the more major LA wildfires. It made for some weird views of the moon and sky all orange and hazy the first few nights of the trip, then it must have all blown away. Once I approached the luggage area I quickly located my limo driver, got my bag, and headed for the liquor store. I found it interesting that the liquor was fairly pricey, and the dude gave this card to the cashier for validation, which I assume is some kickback of some sort which I am paying for one way or another. It was a CRAZY hot day and fairly windy so sorta felt like being in a clothes dryer. I had dressed accordingly so no worries. I loaded the grey goose orange, and the limo champagne into my suitcase and felt the anticipation building as we approached Caesars Palace for my first stay at one of the classic Vegas greats. Would I be impressed? Would it suck? Would it blow? Either way I was about to find out!!! One thing for me that was really cool about Caesars is that it was the site of "The Hangover" and I had been walking thru during the filming. I watched the movie on my laptop on the way out, and felt Caesar and I were kindered spirits in the land of the degenerate gambler. One thing I wasn't used to was the long line for commoner check-in with the unwashed masses, luckily they included this one particularly hot chick, she was with that dude in tank top, and she truly was SMOKIN'!!!! Hopefully that dude didn't sense my staring at her the whole time in line thru my sun glasses. He didn't seem real bright or like the type that would "sense" much so no worries. As I approached the counter things sped up and I was checked in shortly. I was lucky enough to secure a free upgrade from the Forum Tower Deluxe Room to the Palace Tower Deluxe Room: where I unpacked my suitcase liquor stash and stocked the sink nicely for the week! Okay so I get all unpacked and settled in at Caesars, which took a while. Staying for 6 nights so I have a big suitcase and a lot of clothes to unpack before they get too wrinkly. not that I care in vegas anyway. also it appears I forgot to get a haircut before this trip.....to quote my college roommate Amy---"I think that thing we thought was a squirrel in our attic may have actually been your hair"......ok it wasn't that bad, but a solid days work as a Donald Trump stunt double is my backup plan if the bankroll goes quickly. Once unpacked I headed thru the Palace Casino, still not real sure of my way around Caesars, but its pretty easy to get to the front doors from this tower (and extremely easy to get to the pools).....i jumped in a cab for Luxor to do my second check-in. Checked into Luxor in the VIP lounge, they screwed up my free play so I had to go to the players club desk. That was fine because I wanted to pick up their Elite card which is sort of a line pass at Luxor. Now here is where things get crazy. I had reserved an offer which online showed up as $525 in Promo chips/$350 in resort credit/room, etc. But I called to have it changed to freeplay as Luxor recently changed to a one-play-and-gone policy on their promo chips from a play-til-lose policy. (may 1st change I beleive). So in my calculation this makes the freeplay a better deal, which is confirmed by the fact that they give less on the same offer, $350 in freeplay. I go to the playersclub desk and somehow they load me up with $625 in freeplay!!! Sometimes there is a bonus for weekday arrival, or it could have been that I was tipping everyone involved quite nicely. Either way, I'll take it!!! So the first big "win" of the trip is booked when I sit down at the bar in Luxor high limit at a $1 VP machine. Drink service was great, but I asked for stoges and the cigarette girl must have been on break or something cause I got nada for about 30 minutes. So I decided to get outta dodge, but just then the other bartender brings me a cig from a cocktail waitress. No big hits on VP and can't remember what I cashed out but it wasn't great, seems like $455 out of the $625 freeplay. Finally got a pack of cigs and decided I would just blow back in $200 of that "found money" from the overpaid freeplay on some roulette....5 straight winning spins with me pressing my bets and this is the result: CRAZY!!! Another trip with big hits on roulette to start trip way up!!!! Of course it would be nice in a way if this happened later on so I could go home with it, but my July trip started this way and even though I ended up giving a lot of it back which felt like a loss I was able to book a nice win and never go into my own bankroll past the first days funds. That is what really leads to all these continuous Vegas trips on a monthly basis, once that Vegas Fund is gone, I am SOL for 6 months to rebuild it, just seem to be getting very lucky lately in building it, or at least playing conservatively enough when I'm down into my budget that I retain enough of the overall bankroll to come back. As a side note, my play is way down from last year. Lots more $15-$50 action, still some crazy $500 roulette spins, but they are the exception. This is due to my noticing its better to almost just pay on off peak visits than use comps and to the fact that I transferred a huge chunk out of my fund earlier this year. The thought being I would gamble better if I was trying to rebuild a smaller fund. This has worked really well. Ok back to the story, so I cashed out my winnings as pictured, which of course required a call to the pit at Luxor since it was a decent amount, $3,500ish or whatever. I thought about heading up to the room and ordering room service, but by this time I was STARVIN MARVIN (yeah early 90's old school haha)....so I just hit the buffet---MORE---which I really don't mind at all....some decent pizza, chinese, whatever for free its filling. After dinner I headed out via cab to the far end of the strip and hit Encore, one of my personal favorite places to gamble. Actually less so now, something is just a little weird about it. I think it is that about 1/2 my crew hate the place and 1/2 the crew loves it. I can see both points of view as it comes off as a little stuffy and there is a legitimate minority of employees who display an aloof attitude which has turned off some of my cronies. Personally I love the place, but I would still rather hang with my friends at the Golden Gate where we can all just let loose and be ourselves then sit around with a bunch of fancy f's. So I hit a few tables with no major wins/losses, hit my first 4OAK on single line and then another on triple play. Walked back to Caesars and called it a night. quick 3-play 4OAK: Monday 31st I woke up around 9am and decided to walk over to Luxor for breakfast and use up some more of my $350 resort credit as I had only done a buffet so far. Snapped a couple photos on the way, the Bellagio in the morning, lovely: Luxor view up the pyramid: Did the buffet real quick like and headed right back out to the sidewalk for Caesars. The sidewalk is still kind of a pain because of the construction, ended up getting held by the stop sign workers while trucks went in and out both times I crossed. There are about a dozen dudes just standing around there, maybe THAT is part of the cost issue, or maybe they are on break---who knows. I headed back, changed, lathered up the spray on sunscreen for my first session at the pool at Caesars: The pool there was ok, pretty packed, a couple other pools nearby were closed and half the round pool was in the shade from one building. Don't really understand that setup and was thinking maybe they build the building causing shade later? There was not a lot of talent at the pool, mostly a ton of old roaches (even older and fatter than me). There were some nice girls who snuck in from Paris and chatted me up about how great the Caesars pool was, guess they haven't been to Bellagio, Palazzo, Encore, or any of the actually happenin' party pools. I held out for a couple hours at best just trying to get some decent color. Took a short afternoon nap to make sure I was ready to roll and showered and headed via cab down to Luxor for dinner. a little pre-dinner cocktail luck at Luxor!: I headed up to the room and ordered some room service for dinner----Filet and Lobster with Creme Brulee for dessert. Played a little after and lost what I'd won on that video poker 4OAK. I played some low limit BJ, roulette, etc but basically tried to not risk my winnings, wanting to hold onto those until later in the week when Gaggles arrived so I could hit it hard and take some carny shots at the big bucks. The one miscalculation I did make was having quite a few of what I call "The Nasties", which is a Sobe-Absolute, not so bad, but its no Goose and Sugar Free! . Perhaps due to that over alcoholic intake I decided to cab it back to Caesars and take a shot at Diamond In A Day with only a $300 bankroll for the endeavor. I figured hey if I get lucky whatever I'll take it, otherwise this is all I'm playing at Caesars due to their CRAP comps. Well as luck would have it I was fortunate enough to hit three critical 4OAK early on in the $300 buy-in, two pictured, one pretty foursome of lady queens I didn't get a pic of.....playing JOB to reduce the variance to at least a mildly managable level, but it did hurt a little when those 4 deuces came up! (woulda been $2,000) I had researched the DIAD and found a set of machines on VPFree2 that were full pay JOB, although $5 and decided if I got up $2,500 I would invest that $2,500 in a shot. Based on some of the reviews of the comps offered and other amenities from Diamond I decided it wasn't really worth that much so I'd got maybe $500-$1,000. In reality the expected loss for DIAD is probably something like $150, but if you want to do it on a $5 machine like I was, so it'd only take 2 hrs and not 10 hrs, one could easily burn $5K and not get it, more if you got a little unlucky. The swings were interesting and I literally worked up a sweat! I moved from $300 to $1,300 pretty quickly, and eventually peaked at $1,875, but in fact after that got down to $50. YES only 2 HANDS LEFT!!!! That was with like 600 pts left maybe?? A really crappy amount cause I might have thought of investing more to get it, but I might have had to give it up and so close. Luckily I hit a run of lucky flushes, full houses, etc and the two pairs paying double on JOB didn't hurt.. In reality I got extremely lucky, I "felt" that I was hitting far more 3OAK, Straights, Flushes, and Full Boats than normal.....maybe I "felt" them more cause it was a $5 machine with DIAD on the line and that amplified everything, but not even considering the three 4OAK's I was running hot. Of course a $20K ROYAL would not have hurt, and would have made me forget entirely of DIAD (yeah right). Thanks to the advice and info I was given on the boards in advance, I followed the advice, confirmed the requirements with Caesars Total Rewards desk and in the end was very happy to receive the much coveted, and hard earned diamond card: I had ended up cashing out $1,050 from my $300 buy-in and was at my trip-high total of $3,200ish up before I decided to celebrate with some cocktails and losses on the carny games like 3 card poker. Here is my drunken arse ecstatic after hitting DIAD, tan needs some add'l work, and with the horrific haircut I rolled into town with I shoulda been wearing this hat at ALL TIMES! So I crashed at the end of day 2, again up around $2,500ish, now with a Diamond Card and feeling like a million bucks.....but could the luck hold?!?!?!? Tuesday 1st Still a couple days before Gaggles arrives, bankroll is lookin' great, just need to fill some time and avoid the Matisow Meltdown at a Bellagio roulette table where a white chip turns into a black chip in short order....so I decided to do a little dance where I would collect items from various casinos. I already have a little collage of $5 chips I made from all the casinos, but I also now have this cool clear ice bucket I borrowed from thr Ft. Lauderdale Ritz Carlton that I am trying to fill with Vegas nicknacks. I decided to get a couple $1 chips, a book of matches, play $20 in quarter VP (20 hands then cash out) and work my way to a breakfast at Luxor buffet, walking from Caesars. The tour of casinos started--- Bellagio, Monte Carlo, NYNY, MGM, Tropicana, Excalibur, Luxor, Mandalay Bay and wouldn't you know it, I lost almost every hand at virtually every casino on the VP challenge, which I finally gave up in pure disgust, especially disgusted with the change building up in my pockets----good thing I was playing quarters on this ill-fated loss fest. It was mildly fortuitous that I played a couple nice winning craps sessions with more money involved to at least cover my tips. Here are some pics from that tour de farce: Paris from Bellagio: looking back towards Bellagio while heading towards Monte Carlo: some city center bldg: monte carlo fountain: cool pic of MGM lion out front: funny pics of crazy blondes over by Excal: Eventually I headed back to Caesars hit the pool for an hour and a half, did the usual afternoon quick nap, showered and switched into the dinner attire and headed all the way back to Luxor for the Filet and Lobster again view from the East Tower: Enjoyed another awesome dinner, did some heavy gambling and drinking, got quite wasted from Sobe and Absolutes---yuck! And due to a pretty bad losing streak decided to make it kind of early night with only about a $1,500 profit booked after blowing thru about a G this very forgettable day. Wednesday 2nd Slept a little later today and I again tried to walk to Luxor for breakfast, but I was feeling the drinks from the night before and that sidewalk was actually completely closed so I turned back defeated in my exercise attempt, soooo hot, sweating, dizzy, hungover, help, ready to drink out of bellagio fountain, decided instead to head inside for a water, sat down to play and hit at Bellagio for a quick 4OAK: I stumbled my shaky pre-heat stroke arse back to my room and called to check out of Luxor, then ordered a breakfast omelet at Caesars from room service. It was actually good, came with some great potatoes and sour dough toast and wasn't shockingly overpriced----but that could just be me having stayed at Encore and Palazzo so much lately where they REALLY gouge you. I actually went back to bed until about 1pm, then got up and felt like I was "missing out"----you ever take a nap or sleep late and get that feeling? So I rushed out to the pool and grabbed a seat in my usual area. The girls from Paris were back and I snapped a quick shot of the best one for the boys! just GRAVITY DEFYING!!! Put in my 90 minutes of effort on the old tan and decided to shower up and continue my tour of casinos--- Started at Planet Ho where I can't remember a whole lot exciting happening. Then hit Harrah's where I drunkenly did a $500 roulette spin and lost, and noticed the pit boss f'g "See You Next Tuesday" whoooore of a slut beotch half-fake swipe my card and say thanks and better luck next time. I just don't get it. I politely buy-in and drop $500 at your table in 30 seconds, say thanks and move on. I forgot my diamond card cause it was so quick and the dealer stopped me. Then the lady pulls that. It was almost as if she wanted me to see she was faking it. She it that she was not happy that I was taking a "shot" like that? Not sure. Either way I wasn't getting any credit for table play so nothing is new at Harrah's. I then continued on playing and losing about $300-$500 each at Flamingo, OShea's, Bills, Casino Royale, IP, Venetian, playing BJ, roulette, craps, all while drinking like a fish. OK so at this point it was NOT GOING WELL.....had started out with a hot streak again, gotten to probably $3,500 up at some point, and now here I was, a full day before my buddy Gaggles arrives and now down about $1,500 which is actually my budget for losses for the first 3 days (I had budgeted $500 a day first 4, then $1,000 a day last two)....plus I had a meet with VMB friends Pumpkinfish and Chuppa in about an hour. So I finally sulked my way into the Palazzo. By this time I had completely given up my earlier wins and my budgets thru this day. I bought in my last $200 on roulette and luckily had another run of 5 straight numbers including some reasonably big hits at Palazzo......cashed in $900 from $200 buy in on roulette: Ok so feeling better I was now down, but at least back ahead of budget with some room to spare so I could play some with my meet pals and go big with Gaggles and hopefully at least come home in one piece with a shirt on my back. I had a little extra time before I had to cab over to Mandalay so played some VP and some craps winning a couple hundo more and actually ended up clearing $900 from Palazzo so now I was only down $600 for the trip as I headed to the meet. A far cry from $3,500 up, but softened the blow of $1,500 down (UGH the realization of that full $5,000 turnaround for the worse REALLY hurt! made me want to skip the meet and fly home). But now I was feeling at least a little better as I was back ahead of budget which can cause justifiable positivity for the degenerate gambler. Well as luck would have it, my friend Chuppa was down with the flu, ok i've never met her but I think she is Australian and so bummer not to meet in Vegas. But the meet at Mandalay was still on for 7pm at Pumpkinfish and her husband were set to meet me at the Eye Candy Bar in the center of the casino. Much to my good fortune as I was now down $600, they were stuck late at dinner at Nine Fine Irishmen I believe. So I thought why not repeat my performance on roulette from Palazzo, or at least blow a few hundo tryin'. 3 spins late and 2 big hit at Mandalay Bay roulette wheel and I was cashing in $1,375 from $300 buy in on roulette, now back up $500ish and really ready to roll. I met up with Pumpkinfish and her husband shortly after cashing out and we had a nice time talking about the usual introductory stuff, but then much like a crack dealer, she led me to the bank of penny Monopoly machines to give me a little introductory lesson. I bought in $100 i think? Maybe $60? dunno. Anyway I wasn't getting much action, while her husband was cleaning out the bank on the other type of Monopoly machine. Right as I was again about ready to write of these craptastic slots as a complete and utter waste of time it happened----THE BONUS ROUND!!!! Here is the pic of the beginning of the bonus: You get to pick I think 8 properties or something, well I got Park Place AND Boardwalk! so I knew that was good, but not sure how good. Here is my Monopoly video (sorry its sideways!): <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/r_AIdTT2eqU&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/r_AIdTT2eqU&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> In the end it was my first big fun on Monopoly and the bonus round on the $2 bet paid $112!!! Ok this is fairly small taters for the big dog, but it was still super fun and the company was good. Around this time we discussed hitting some tables and were looking for some low limits so I suggested Slots-A-Fun, expecting it wouldn't be too crowded and the $5 tables are a little more accessible than those at Bills and O'Sheas and Casino Royale this time of night. Sadly my friends had to meet their friends so I was off again on my own. I cabbed to Slots-A-Fun in search of the fabled "Prez".....off Wed and Thurs so I was SOL. Played a little 3 card poker at Circus Circus and some roulette and craps at Slots, no big deals either way. I hit the Riv across the street, grabbed some McD's and took a cab to Paris to check out the Diamond lounge and continue my tour of casinos. Of course the Diamond Lounge at Paris, by the time I found it, was closed. But as a consolation prize I hit the craps table for a quick couple hundo and then moved on to a little double double bonus VP to have a smoke and a bacardi diet. As luck would have it I was sitting by a nice couple of older folk so I kept my cig to the side of the 3 machine row so as not to inflame their bronchitis or what have you....what DID ENFLAME them was when I hit the back to back "low" 4OAK's (no kicker) for $400 a piece!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! .....first was 3's, no pic, 2nd was 2's pic here: By this time I was about good to work my way back to Caesars, but why not due that via Bally's and then Bellagio so as to avoid going outside more than necesssary? By this time it was getting pretty late, I needed a free pack of smokes and perhaps some bar top interaction. No smokes at bar, decided to head out to the machines on the floor near the bar with quarter and dollar machines so I could order them from the cocktail server. I started with a nice little video poker hit----oh shoot forgot I stopped at PH before Paris and this was from there: Ok so anyway back to where I was at Bellagio....stopped to get stoges at this crappy machine that didn't have the full screen showing....5's and 6's on the far left card required a little more concentration to identify than I had in my at this point. I didn't need any help identifying this little son-of-a-biznatch though!!!! a little video poker magic!!! I got my cigs and a couple cocktails while waiting for the hand pay and that blasted W2-G. The cocktail waitress got a $10 spot for her efforts....the hundo smacker seemed genuinely pissed off at my $20 tip to her....hey its 1%, its not a royal....what the hell do you want. I even had to ask for my ID back and she had "forgot" it in the back......yeah right. Due to this and some stuff I've read from dealers on comments on articles in LVRJ I am now tipping $2 a drink instead of $5 and $1 occasionally instead of $5 at the tables. The entitlement attitude while giving crap service doesn't really work for me......especially when it is entitlement to an exceptional tip, outstanding or good just doesn't cut it anymore ---WTF is wrong with these people. I think a lot of Vegas folk been drinkin' their own Kool-Aid far too long and far overestimate their worth and value in the world. So how nice it was after going way down, I was back up to a $2,200 profit for the trip to almost to my magic number of $2,500. Well I got the rest of that work done with a quick hitter over at the craps table. I was playing quarters on the line with odds on the table closest to the video poker bar at Bellagio (over towards the Caesars/Bally's bridges sortof, not the big bar upfront, Fontana or whatever). Anyway I buy in $500 at this craps table and there are only a few players at the table, me at one end with a couple golden grilled rappers, and at the other end a high-rolling television marketing company owner who is playing purple chips on the dark side (don't pass). Well....well...well....wouldn't ya know it, a roll basically, 7.....7.....11.......5......5......7......7....5......5.........5.........5..yes basically a baaaad roll for Mr. Don't Pass. maybe a couple blanks in there as well, but no 7 outs and lots of winners on the come out rolls and no craps at all, and a good one for me. but the final insult added to injury comes on the 4th point made, a 4. I throw a dime on hard 4, roll a few blanks, then somehow one of the dice sorta floats on my throw....its going over the whole table....but then it catches mr. don't passes chips and bounces back into the table, landing right by its twin----DEUCES BABY......EMMITT SMITH BABY!!!! Hard 4!!!! Ok, I am getting quite the evil eye so I cashed out and got the F outta there. Of course after that big hit and a few two many drinks I decided to give the $5 video poker a run looking for that $20K Royal.....and ended up giving some back....I was up $2,600 after that for the trip so decided to give one last whirl at that VP bar. well, guess who decides to join me.....here's a couple clues: #1 too hot to be talking to me #2 meth teeth #3 "..how's it going are you getting lucky tonight?" so this obvious meth ho is sitting by me and I am in no mood so i ask her what she does for a living, usually a quick end to the convo, her shocking response: "I'm a waitress at Red Lobster in San Diego" I literally broke out into laughter....uh yeah maybe you were for one day when you were on probation. So having been a server at "the Lob" in college I gave her the cursory menu quiz, which she failed miserably, not even knowing the correct name of the "Cheddar Bay Biscuits" or that "Bottomless Shrimp" was going on right now!!! Anyway she saved me a some more losses as I got outta dodge and called it a night....back to Caesars about 4am for some shut-eye. Thursday 3rd Woke up starving after the late night and put in an order for breakfast from caesars room service----steak n eggs, pretty low rent to be honest, but also not super over priced like most. I decided to start the day with a cig and stop down for a morning cocktail, stoge, and 4OAK: Had a Goose and sugar free while sitting by a nice older lady in the palace casino near high limit......Didn't work well for me so decided to go back to bed for a while and then hit the pool at Caesars. I wasn't feeling the pool situation and starting to feel the beat down of multiple late nights and long hours of gambling in Vegas so I was considering just getting more sleep when a text came from Gaggles warning of impending arrival: I decided discretion was the better part of valor and took it easy all afternoon. As I was advised Mr. Gaggles wasn't gonna be around until 8pm now rather than 4pm as I had assumed I had some extra time. I decided to use it getting my Palazzo gold card upgrade which is automatic for 3 months with the Harrah's Diamond card. (Side note: just reserved two more comped stays at Palazzo, I can NOT believe how generous they are with room comps, must be my 7th free stay in the past year there and haven't gambled much there for a long time and there is always a little free play and I've never even had to meet a host----thinking I like that a lot better than the BS at Wynn/Encore). So I got my gold card along with some great info. about how to use the players points to get a free room extension to your stay for 1,000 pts. Considering those points are only worth about $6 in freeplay or $2 in cash, that is a great way to use the points. The only catch is you have to do it in person the day you want to stay so its almost best to do it to extend stays and maybe have a backup at Circus Circus just in case they are full and you get rejected (but the lady told me that pretty much rarely happens these days, and never during the week). My next move was to hit the various diamond lounges for dinner. My first stop was Harrah's and I was sufficiently impressed with the decor and offerings of the lounge considering what a dump Harrah's is in general. Of course the workers were typical HET, peaked about the same time as Arnold Palmer. Next was the Flamingo lounge, which was way overcrowded and really pretty disappointing. No where to sit, the buffet is partially in front of the seating so you have to block the TV while you get silverware and napkins. Finally I took a shot at the Caesars lounge, I guess I never did make Paris or Rio, but the Caesars lounge was the most spacious, with computer stations (all taken despite the room being mostly empty)....similar buffet options which were very acceptable. But the old roaches working in there were just brutal....the complete opposite of all the nice older ladies I talked to at the tables, video poker, and pool, the entire HET empire is fully stocked with the worlds crotchetiest old bats. I am planning to release details of my suggestion to solve the entire medicare and social security trust fund dilemma by imploding Caesars Palace with all the HET employees inside it.....actually I really like older people, its just the attitude of those at this particular company is sooooo brutal. Actually in reality most of the people are great, but the minority that really sucks is a larger group, more bitchy, and far more annoying than at other properties. Here is a pic I got over by the front desk at Caesars on the way to diamond lounge: So after dinner it was getting to be near meeting time, Gaggles finally arrived and sent me a text to meet over at Casino Royale. So I headed out and eventually made it to a $5 blackjack switch table. Now I'm pretty stupid, but not a complete dumbass, however for some reason (uh maybe 5 days of alcohol and late nights) my gambling abilities, decision making processes, and math abilities were waning badly. So this freak situation occurs at the good ole cheapo table. The dealer is cool, there is only one other player and she is one twitchy bitch. She is playing 4 hands and going $5 up to $25 each (4 hands is basically 2 hands of switch). The really weird thing is she is acting in a way like an idiot, asking the dealer what she should do, one time she had 8-2 and doubled down and got an Ace, then asked the dealer what that was----seriously! So I do this switch hand and accidently mis-signal for a hit on the wrong of the two hands....it was a split second deal, like I thought the one hand would be 9 and the other 14, dealer had 4 and I hit the 14 meaning to hit just the 9. It was definitely my fault and the dealer was just kinda on autopilot, hey my mistake, I busted, no biggie for me. Buuuut it caused this psycho to lose all kinds of splits and doubles (which if one might remember happened to me on a $410 bet at Encore that I lost last trip and I said NOT A WORD). Anyway the chick goes OFF, not just the usual, WTF dude. I said sorry, my mistake, I mis-signaled cause I thought the other hand was the 14 (i got mixed up on which card was switched). So I'm thinking Ugh that sucked, sorry, but it happens, and she'll let it go. Well this chick brings it up like 3 more times and louder and louder each time. So I just tell her it happens, its just luck anyway, my play was wrong, I apologized but in reality the next card is random and I could just as easily have saved you. then the next time I told her about the same thing happening to me for about 5X the amount of money and how I had the CLASS not to say anything. Finally, I explain to her how my breach of basic strategy is within my right to play my own cards, it was an accident, but if I choose to, i can go with a gut instinct and that is allowed. I further explained that her breach of ettiquette was completely unacceptable. By this time the pit boss was over at our table. Finally I just let her go off and I shut up and listened to them argue with her and tell her she is only allowed to play her own cards (good one). Then I cashed out and bailed to a table with nice people where we made some money and I TOOK MY TIME on the signals!!! haha. Well around this time I see my boy Gaggles up front so i headed up and met his girlfriend and cousin, along with some other friends. We started with a little video poker having the girls hit DRAW on the good hands. It was his cousins first time so she was taking it all in. The funniest part was Gaggles asking for "No Deuce" and getting a deuce like 3 hands in succession. Finally we just started going Costanza on those machines asses and asking for "The Opposite"......and as the girls quickly learned, that system was foolproof for BeeeJay: So wow, hard to remember where all we went this night, a few other places for sure....some major play over at Flamingo. I had an interesting experience on the craps table there. Was getting slow bled and hit the pisser disgusted with no points being made, my losing money with no wins, etc. So I get back from the pisser, throw in $55 and say "Hi-Lo 2 Ways".....Dice are out......12....BOXCARS BABY!!!! $700, made up all my earlier losses in a heartbeat!!!! So with the $400 aces, this probably put me up $3K.......and that was basically the last thing I won.....I upped my bets and just lost and lost......ooohhhh noooooooo it's allllll gone......walked by a roulette table and saw 20-6-17-17-17-20 which would have been worth about $10K to me. F an A!!!!! its soo frustrating. we played some VP at Flamingo and took a bath on that as well. Next we headed to Bally's to play some Mississippi stud.......that was another bath for me, and Gaggles seemed to stay closer to even if not up on his more intelligent gambling decisions. I was getting greedy for that $10K 4OAK on MS stud and playing quarters and just losing, losing, losing. We finally gave up on the gambling and were in desperate need for some grub. The cousin had long since gone to bed and it was just me, gaggles and gaggles girlfriend. So we headed for some much needed grub over at the Victorian Room at Bill's. I'm still trying to figure out why I ordered a burger when it is $5.99 steak n eggs, $11.99 burgers?!??!?! WTF, that makes no sense to me. Anyway we were wasted as hell, both in alcohol and tiredness so stumbled on back to Caesars and made plans for the pool in the late, LATE morning the next day. I had blown back in all but about $900 of my winnings at this point so I was hoping for lots of NON-Gambling activities my final day so I could at least book enough of a profit to cover my expenses. Friday 4th I woke up and decided it was time for me to win back some of my losses, so I decided to head down for some carny games and my BIG HIT!....Lucky for me I was saved by a text from Gaggles around 1130am that it was pool time for the degenerate gamblers...I headed out and got lucky enough to secure 4 chairs right up front during prime time which was awesome, shortly Gaggles, his GF, and his cuz showed up and we enjoyed some time in the pool and some sun: We hung for about an hour and a half before things started to cloud up and we headed in to shower and change and head out: It actually got super cloudy.....the shower for me obviously took less time then the girls, couples, etc so I had time to go play a little $1 double double bonus, and on the way I saw a guy I found quite familiar from the Caesars mailers, president Gary Selesner: I played for a little losing a couple hundred which sucked, until I finally hit this, cashed out and decided I could meet these suckas in the diamond lounge, here's the 4OAK waiting to meet the rogues for dinner: I decided to head over to the diamond lounge but while texting them on the walk over actually ran into my friends. So we headed over to IP to meet the Cuz, met up pretty quick and walked down to Venetian to check out the gold card lounge and eat at Grand Lux. The gold lounge at Venetian is a total joke. they had maybe some diet cokes in there or something? an apple? jesus H i would be so pissed if I actually PLAYED to make gold and had to get that glorified welfare soup kitchen as my comp. Anywho, we got cuz some show tix for the next night and hit the Grand Lux where I discovered the sloppy joe option to supplement my usual Crispy Carmel Chicken, which I had to have in Chicago days later, where it was EVEN better than in Vegas. Damn I think I need that again tomorrow, too bad it is downtown on Mich Ave which is a slight pain as the Kennedy is always packed. Here is our dinner pic: After dinner we decided to walk thru Venetian, Palazzo, Wynn, Encore....then cab to downtown. As usual the fancy hotels were amazing. Usually I am going into these places for gambling and not walking thru with friends for I guess what you could call "artistic appreciation" but it gave me a chance to really appreciate Palazzo, Wynn, and Encore for the incredible properties they are from a visual standpoint. FANCY! The other side of that is the pompousness which I don't feel as much at Palazzo, but Encore casino is so slow and all those dealers kind of just staring at you walking by, the empty bars with no free drinks while playing video poker.....i don't know but I think I'm starting to lean more Palazzo way on the high end side, I certainly like how you can go to their pool without going to the casino, and their rooms are truly superior to anything in Vegas (base room) as the step down living room with separate TV beats Encore, full 3 person dining table beats eating at desk in Encore, and even though the service isn't as good, the fact that I get less personal service means there are less people to give snooty attitude. Plus I just like online bookability of offers, I HATE calling those hosts and worrying that they are gonna stick me with the full bill if I don't gamble enough. So we popped out the far end of Encore and cabbed it downtown, where we immediately headed to the plain label "Liquor Store" to grab some brown bags.....man this felt a lot more comfortable than walking around empty Encore, here's the big dog brown bagging peach champagne: It actually wasn't too comfortable out by the shark tank playing $5 BJ at Golden Nugget Pool because it was pretty hot and super humid out there, in fact I had to head in for some AC which is when I played a little vid poker and took these pics: After a brutal beating at BJ at the Golden Nugget, well as brutal as it can be for $5 a hand, we headed over to golden gate for shrimp cocktail and craps.....and those shrimp cocktails were great! I can't believe I could have 21 of those for the cost of one from Luxor room service (hmm I think I left those out of my list of ordered items at Luxor). Also the $3 craps was such a blast.....Gaggles was overserved into RARE form as he was berating dealers and pit bosses alike for not letting him place bets AFTER the dice had landed.....and we were hitting like crazy with the cuz virgin roll as a springboard we were doing well.....geez where was this roll when I was playing $100 pass line bets at Flamingo!!!! I made a quick pitstop down to 4 Queens to play off $50 in free play which was ez and profitable, then watched a quick light show before heading back to 4 queens to wrap up the downtown experience with a beating on video poker while watching football on one of the best HD TV's I've seen and watching some super hot (or I was super drunk) pleasure pit dancers. video of fremont st experience: <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/EuytlulPWk0&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/EuytlulPWk0&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> After downtown we were drunk as hell and headed over to Golden Nugget for a cab over to the Rio to hit VooDoo. Now I had lost my diamond card many times over so had to get a new one, the Total Rewards desk was closed but I got one from a pit boss.....super nice guy and they really treat you well once you are diamond. Actually Rio and the whole free entry to VooDoo and passing the entire line just because of being diamond was really the coolest thing about it. We got up top in mere minutes and I fully enjoyed my opportunity to buy a $29 goose and sugar free with a plain OJ for the cousin. We got a nice pic with the north strip in the background: The least cool thing at Voodoo was the super old hooker hitting on us, the best thing was this crazy drunken chick dancing on the pole: video while dancing: <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/bEVPZIPTvBg&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/bEVPZIPTvBg&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> We ran into her again over by the elevators: Voodoo was fun, but at those prices would quickly be a Buzz Killman for Alki's like us, so we were soon off to greener pasteures, or in this case another beating at a craps table at Bills. Here we met up with other friends....one buddy of Gaggles who I normally see for 5 minutes per trip, had just met him when leaving at Bellagio in June and now same thing again.....my god was that June-----doesn't seem like 3 trips ago that I met up with Gaggles at Palazzo craps table and we hit our 2 royals at casino royale in 35 minutes....but I guess it was. So anyway the only thing left for us was to hit the Burger King in back of O'Sheas, and it was quite a scene back there. Of course the primary entertainment, besides the dudes trying to punch some weird game, was Gaggles getting screwed over by the man on this simple, basic order: burger king fiasco We may not have been winners at the tables tonight, but I was a winner in the gigglefest as Mr. Gaggles was awarded the Guiness Record for longest wait for his order from BK. It was soooooooooooooooo funny as each order after his number was called before him and he complain loudly chirping like someone who had lost their last dollar on a roulette ball that bounced out of their number (ha me). We finally got the food and enjoyed our last meal together, then said goodbye to cuz, and headed back as GF and I had our last cigarette together, my lighter finally recovering from my having taken it into the pool for about 15 minutes in my pocket thinking it was the sunscreen stick. We said our goodbyes, high fives and hugs, and I headed back to crash for the night around 3am with an all too early 9am alarm set for the morning. Saturday 5th I did my final accounting and realized I had lost all my profits and with all expenses for the trip (hotel was only partially discounted) was down about $1K for the endeavor. That really felt like a $3K to $4K loss after being up multiple times, but hey 6 nights gambling crazy at Caesars, food, drink, cabs, tips, shenanigans, tomfoolery, stupid carny bets, and making diamond in a day while partying with good friends---yeah I would take that result EVERY time. I packed up, caught the limo and flew back to reality......missing my friends Gaggles and his crew of fair maidens, but glad to see the fam. I've got a few busy weeks of work and child rearing, along with some flights across Iowa for dental work, then it'll be back out to Vegas at months end for a mellow trip doing some collectibles work and an OV meet, and then our next big blowout with JNCNH and Gaggles along with other friends in late October....can't wait guys! Thanks for reading, and May The Force of Royals Be With You!