TI 12/26-12/30--A Bit Long (Sorry)

Okay, it's taken me a little while to settle down from my trip to write this. Let me say that mother-in-law lives alone after dad passed away. The other daughter-in-law and I keep telling the two sons that she isn't fit to be on her own. Number 1 son sure had his eyes open on this trip.

This year we (read as he) decided to take my hubby's mom. BIG mistake. It started on Christmas night when she decided to cut her hair (she's 74). We found out about it the next day. I wanted to just put a hat (with veil) on her and go. We had gone through her purse and taken out all metal objects as well as all her credit cards that she didn't need. At 4 p.m. hubby's business partner took us to the Dayton airport and asked "mom" if she had any scissors, knives, etc. "NO." We got our boarding passes and she was seated behind us. I went through security just fine but no one came behind me. When I looked, she and hubby were being talked to by lots of security. I then found out that she had put a Swiss Army knife in her purse after we had taken everything out. She was quite upset that they took it from her. Then she started going on about how she should have said she had a bomb too. I nearly strangled her. While waiting for our plane, she ate a HUGE Cinnabon. When we landed in Chicago for our plane change, she had an upset stomach. Gee, wonder why. I gave her a couple of Dramamine in hopes it would settle her stomach and make her sleep on the plane.

In Chicago, my DH went and got us a couple of small pizzas and he said to mom he was sure she shouldn't have any because of her upset stomach. Yeah right. I had one piece of each and he had three total. She ate the rest. Guess the Dramamine worked!

We got on the flight (none of us seated together) to Las Vegas and landed about 9:30 p.m. their time. She was mad because we had to walk forever to get our bags and then take a bus to pick up the rental car. It was very cold when we went to the bus. Got our car and went down the Strip to TI. We pointed out places of interest and she just sat there very uninterested (it's going to be a LONG trip). Most people are very excited to see the Strip. I still am and this was my 15th trip! Upon check-in at TI, I requested two rooms on different floors. The best they could do was the same floor across the hall from each other . She said that she and I could share a room. No way. Then she suggested my DH and she share a room. He said he wasn't sleeping with his mother. She was sure we had two beds in our room and they'd take them. No, we had two king rooms and after 26 years she should realize that we're married and share a room. (When we go to visit, he sleeps on the hide-a-bed in the living room and I sleep in his twin childhood bed.)

My DH and I decided to go down to the cafe and have a little bit to eat. She of course wanted to go. Her stomach is still upset so she would just talk to us while we ate. Short lived-promise. She ate a piece of apple pie and two scoops of ice cream as well as french fries from my husband's plate. The pie was an individual pot pie. Ate the whole thing.

Finally, we turned in but only after she checked out our view and complained it was better than hers. We paid for the trip so we got the better view that looked straight down the Strip.

Got up the next morning and ate at the TI buffet where she ate every fried food and dessert she could get her pudgy little hands on! Went over to Imperial Palace to get tickets for Ledgends in Concert for that night and then went to Caesars Palace to walk around. Had to stop five times for her to rest before we even got into Caesars. We had told her in February to begin walking at the mall because there was loads of walking in Las Vegas. She never did we found out when it was too late to cancel her resevation. We wanted to check out the Forum shops so she decided to sit and wait for us. When we went back to get her, she had disappeared. It took 45 minutes to find her. She had gone shopping. It took another hour to get back to TI because she had to keep going to the bathroom and resting. For someone who couldn't walk, she sure walked off pretty well.

That evening we went to see our only show. I slipped them a 20 to get a good seat and was able to get a booth. The seats were fantastic as was the show. She was "sick" and didn't enjoy it. Went back to TI (couldn't do anything else with her) and asked if we could get her anything light to eat. She decided she would go to the buffet with us and get something light. More fried food and desserts at 10 p.m.

Sunday was the trip to Hoover Dam. On the way to the dam we had to stop at Wal-mart for Mylanta. Never did see her take it. The traffice into the dam was bumper to bumper because they had security checks along the way. When we got there, we couldn't take the tour because she wouldn't have made it. No big deal, we had taken the tour before. Now she wants ice cream (it's like having a child whom you can't control with you). DH said no because the line was very long and we would stop on our way back to Las Vegas for lunch. She was at the checkout with her postcards and called her son over. I could see them in a heated discussion but decided to stay away. Finally got back to the car and were heading back toward Boulder City when DH said she had lost her credit cards. By this time I had taken a half of a bottle of Excedrine Tension Headache pills. Give me more!! I said we'd better get back to TI and check her room. DH said, "*(&& on it we are going to stop at Wendy's for lunch." We got salads and she got a double bacon cheeseburger and fries. By the way, her stomach doesn't feel too well. Then we went back. No credit card. She can't remember how many she had in our wallet. If she didn't put them back, she should only have two and one of them is still in her wallet. I called the place she was shopping at on Saturday when we lost her. Sure enough, they had her credit card. She had left it on the counter. Thank heavens they are honest and put it into their drawer in hopes she would come back. We told her to stay in her room and we would be back. Shouldn't be a problem, if there is a bed she is in it and asleep quicker than you can say boo. We got the card and played a few slots. Then we took our time getting back. We took most of our pictures on the way back and visited several of the casinos along the way. Saw the white tigers, too.

Then we went down to see the Freemont Street Experience. Thought that might be of interest to her. Her thrill was when DH and I yelled at each other because we couldn't find a valet parking that wasn't full. Of course we can't park in a lot because she can't walk. When we hollered at each other (only about the 10th time in 26 years!) she sat in the back and chuckled. Witch. By this time I'm not speaking to either one. She spent the time in a gift shop while the light show was on. Time to go back to the hotel. We were going to go down to play but it wasn't any fun if we were mad at each other so we turned in about 11 p.m.

Monday was the day he had his massage package scheduled that I had given him for Christmas. I spent the time on the phone with my sister-in-law giving her a "trip report." When he got back, she was up and we went to Aladdin. You guessed it, we had the buffet. The best of any I've had in Las Vegas. Then we went to the Desert Passage. If any of you were there, she was the chunky lady in pink sleeping in one of the massage chairs (without putting any money in). At least she stayed put this time while we wandered around. Then we went to the MGM and were going to M&M World and Coke a Cola World for gifts for the kids. We had just gotten out of the car and into the hotel when she said she had to go back to the hotel because she was "sick." A little too much Aladdin buffet? She was so sorry that she was going to take us away from our shopping. No way. DH took her back while I played video poker (and won $200). He came back and met me. We did our shopping and went to the Hard Rock and played for a hour or so on $10. Came out even. We took the car back and he checked on her and got her some soup and crackers from the cafe (she didn't have a choice this time). We told her we were going to dinner and spend the evening by ourselves. Didn't leave it open for discussion. She told him not to go up in the Eiffel Tower because that was one thing she wanted to do. We caught the pirate show at TI (didn't care for it as much as the old one); took a gondola ride at the Venetian (too expensive but we didn't care); wandered around the casinos in the area (lost a little money); and ended up at Imperial Palace at our favorite pizza place and had dinner. On the way back, we watched the volcano at the Mirage and all the tourist things. That was the only day I enjoyed.

Tuesday, our last day, we woke up to three inches of snow. How much better can it get? It was COLD!! Went to Rio to see when the carnival in the sky started. Much later than when we were there. Then we went to Paris. The valet was full so DH decided to take her back to TI. We had to be out of the rooms by noon so we got a late check-out for our room and moved her stuff over to our room. We left her there taking a nap and we went back to Paris. We parked in their parking garage and strolled around. Yes, we did go up in the tower without her and tooks tons of pictures. I intend to make her a photo album of all the things she missed.

Time to get moving. We went back and packed our things up and checked out. Our flight was to leave at 11:30 p.m. so we stopped for dinner at Olive Garden on Sunset. She got a huge meal. When I'm sick I don't feel like eating anything. She didn't have the salad because her stomach was upset. Sure did justice to the chicken pasta dish and soup she got. We tried to tell her just to do the soup and breadsticks. Were we speaking out loud? Must not have been. Maybe we were speaking another language. One she doesn't understand--reason.

Took the car back to Alamo and she and I got on the bus to the airport. The bus left without DH. She paniced. I told her that he would figure out where we went. She accused me of trying to leave him on purpose. That did it! I looked at her and said if I were going to leave someone somewhere, it surely wouldn't be HIM! Shut her right up. Had to walk for miles to get to our gate. Yes, I could have gotten a wheelchair or cart or something, but I didn't want to make life any easier for her. I walked 50 feet in front of them everywhere we had gone and did my own thing. Bet he doesn't suggest we take her anywhere every again. As far as I'm concerned, I won't even take her across the street again!

About 15 minutes before boarding, she leaves and comes back with a big bag of popcorn. I just kept my headphones on and nose in my book. I heard my husband say, "Why would you get popcorn? Last I heard, your stomach was upset!" I didn't hear her answer. Then when it came time for boarding, she was gone. Here she comes with a HUGE Coke. Now she is mad because it got taken from her on the plane before take off. She is seated about 10 rows ahead of us. He told the ticket agent that her row hadn't been called but he wanted to get her settled. The agent said to me, "That was so nice of him." I told him he had to be nice to her it was his mother. The agent said, "Not yours so you don't have to be?" BINGO.

Layover in Pittburgh (now she is feeling better). Get into Dayton about 9:30 a.m. Go right to the house and put her luggage into our truck directly from his partner's. She said she thought she would be staying with us for a couple of days. Over my dead body. We drove her the hour home. She wanted to know why I had come along with them. I knew DH was tired and wouldn't make it back on his own so I drove back to our place. We have not even mentioned her name since we got back.

I'd like to know how much weight she gained while we were away with her "sick stomach." All she did was eat and not walk any off. I'm happy to report to Weight Watchers that I lost seven pounds while I was away!!

So, there is the trip report from *%&&. Hope all of you have much better trips than I did.

 

Oh man, what a trip! I have to hand it to you - you made even the worst trip sound like a winner compared to yours! Even if I lost $1000 a day, it'd be more fun than what you endured.

And you made me stop to think that my mother in law is really a gem. Just don't get me going about my *own* mother

Kitty

 

So sorry to hear your bad luck with the mother-inlaw... It sounds like she purposely tried to make the trip unpleasant. I can tell you that is exactly what my inlaws would do too... They do not feel Vegas is a good thing and especially around X-MAS would make it miserable. So the couple times that my wife has suggested that we take her parents with us and the 15 year old, so they could watch him while we did things, I firmly say ABSOLUTELY NOT! and now I can always refer her to this story as to why not!
So I thank you for giving me more amunition!

P.S. make the DH take you back alone and do all the things you want for payment of what you went through!

 

We're actually thinking about going to Cancun in June right after our 30th high school reunion. His brother and sister-in-law are thinking about going and we've gone on vacation with them before. They are soooo much fun. One time when we went with them, we didn't see them until it was time to go to the airport to come home. If I can talk them into Las Vegas, I'd rather do that. They haven't been there for 10 years. 'Bout time they get back there.

 

Come in March, and recover properly.

 

I'm sorry... Would not have liked to be in your shoes for this trip. But I have to say I was laughing the entire time I was reading your report. Geez, how bad was that.

You're a good daughter in law! I hope you have a better trip the next time you go. I'm also glad that you were able to salvage some good times out of this whole mess.

 

Thanks for the tr. Sorry you had such a bad time.

 

Wow, "interesting" trip report, jlc! Sorry it was so stressful. You really need to plan another trip to LV (and if I were you, I'd find a girlfriend and make it a girls trip, or better yet go alone! )

On a more serious note, your MIL sounds like she might be in the early stages of Alzheimers... Or maybe she's just ornery.

 

Bigdogmom--I think it's a little of both. Of course when I told DH that, he didn't see it. That is, until this trip. Now he is beginning to see that there is something more than just her being a rotten woman. She's always been nasty to me; but since dad passed away two years ago, she's out of control. I feel sorry for her but I can't take her away any more. I nearly walked the gangplank at TI as it was. Thanks for your insight.

By the way, a girls weekend sounds pretty good to me. I think I'll look into it--very soon.

 

My mother has a form of dementia, which we realized only after my father died 3 years ago. What made me think of it was the way you described her eating. My mother seems to have lost all inhibitions and common sense. It really IS child-like. And very frustrating. I'm so sorry for you.

There's nothing like a girls' trip to LV! Do it!

 

Substitute the word 'mom' for 'old man', and I could paraphrase Bender from The Breakfast Club.

"Maybe you're old man and my old man should go bowlin'"

I can certainly relate.

Mikey

[ January 11, 2004, 09:55 PM: Message edited by: HurricaneMikey ]

 

Sorry to hear about the bummer of a trip. But like Milehiman mentioned I couldn't help but giggle as I was reading this report. I kept waiting for it to make a turn for the better. Sorry that it never happened.
Maybe Next Time!!! See it's an excuse to go back!!!

 

Ever see the movie "Throw Momma from the Train"? Perhaps you could consider another mode of transportation next time.

 

OMG! I had to come out of my lurking status just to let you know that my deceased MIL has been reincarnated and is now YOUR MIL. I know it is not one bit funny to you but I was hysterical laughing. It reminded me of our trips from *&^% with MIL. Once I locked myself in the hotel room bathroom for an hour crying and sobbing and refusing to come out, my husband finally agreed we would not travel again as a threesome. On the way home from that trip I got stopped for speeding. Crying, I said to the cop "I'm just toooooo anxious to get her home". He let me off with a warning!

Gerry

 

Shouldn't this have been posted on the psychotherapy board???

I go to Vegas to get away from this kind of stuff!!!

 

I tried to go to Las Vegas to get away from this but it came with me!

Gerry--Would you like your MIL back? I could have her there (no matter where in the world you are) in a VERY short period of time.

Spoke to my sister-in-law last evening and she said MIL keeps complaining to anyone who will listen that "there are slot machines everywhere! You can't get ANYWHERE without having to pass them!" What in the heck did she think would be there? It's Las Vegas for heavens sake.

 

I'll second that!!!

 

As I said before, I tried to get away from that but when Hubby gets his mind set on something there's not changing it. That was what happened when he decided that he wanted to be "nice" to his mother and take her away since she is alone. He's sure changed his tune! Now it's, "If she has to stay home alone during Christmas--too bad. She blew ever getting to go away with us ever again." That was his direct quote the other day to his brother. Boy did that ever upset me to hear that! Hmmm, wonder when I can get my next trip out of him to make up for this?

I've already started talking to my friends for a possible "girls weekend" for April to Las Vegas.