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This Urban Legend Is Certainly Making The Rounds!

Discussion in 'Non-Vegas Chat' started by Joe Strummer, Mar 28, 2017.

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  1. Joe Strummer

    Joe Strummer VIP Whale

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    I've heard this one 3 times in the last year.
    Yesterday, I couldn't take it anymore.
    At my job ( the Secretary From Hell ) launches into the legend -
    of course, it's told to her by her friend --
    I had enough --
    I stopped her at the story intro ---
    and finished the entire story for her !
    .......I hope she knows how silly she sounded ?
    The Legend ?
    You finish it...........
    It starts........".my friend had a pet snake....it was acting strange......."
    *
    The Legend has been de-bunked --- sorry, to all you believers.
    *
    *
     
  2. deansrobinson

    deansrobinson VIP Whale

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    ..and for some odd reason, it had stopped eating it's food. She thought her BURMESE PYTHON just felt bad.
    The serpent would curl up next to her in bed and sleep there, like she always did. Then all of a sudden, she started
    sleeping next to her...all stretched out, the length of the bed. She thought the serpent was getting sicker, so she
    called the vet. The Vet said "You gotta get that snake in here now. It's gotta be put down!". Hmmm...now what on earth
    could possibly make Mister Fictional Veterinarian tell Mrs. Fictional Snake Owner to bring her Fictional Serpent
    into the office posthaste?

    Someone else can post the National Enquireresque shocking conclusion / punch line to the this gripping story .... :woohoo:
     
  3. jughead1963

    jughead1963 Tourist

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    Here is the Army Field Manual instructions on being attacked by a snake:

    1. If you see a constrictor approaching, lie down on the ground, keeping your body as straight as possible. DO NOT allow the snake to coil underneath you, in order to avoid being crushed.

    2. The snake will begin to swallow you beginning with your feet. DO NOT PANIC. Under no circumstances will the snake be able to bite you at this point. Remain calm and keep your body straight and firm.

    3. When the snake has reached your navel, remove your knife from your hip pocket. Turn the knife so that it cuts into the snake's flesh. At this point, the snake cannot reverse its digestive tract. It has no option but to continue swallowing you.

    4. When the snake's jaws close around your head, finish cutting your way out of the snake's gut.

    5. Don't forget your knife.
     
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  4. PlanetMark

    PlanetMark Low-Roller

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    I was recently worried about a giant man-eating butterfly which was supposedly devastating entire cities...

    ... turned out to be an urban moth.

    Phew.
     
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  5. Joe

    Joe VIP Whale

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    Thankfully, I guess I have smarter friends and never heard anything about this until I read through this thread. But from now on, I'll carry my knife. :D :woohoo:
     
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  6. Breeze147

    Breeze147 Button Man

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    .....But no one could bring themselves to kill the snake, so it laid millions of eggs, which in turn hatched and proceeded to wipe out the town of Green Bay, WS and their drunk Packers fans.

    The snakes continued into Canada, where they burrowed into the permafrost near Toronto. An apparition appeared atop the big tower thing and declared in a riddle that the Maple Leafs would never win another Stanley Cup until the snakes were driven from Canada. A young man named Patrick Saint arrived on the scene and performed an exorcism, driving the snakes all the way to Southern California, where most of the snakes got jobs as lawyers or agents in the entertainment industry.

    At that point in time......
     
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2017
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  7. Joe

    Joe VIP Whale

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    And I used to like your posts. :thumbsdown:
     
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  8. Breeze147

    Breeze147 Button Man

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    See your inbox. I knew someone would get offended. It's all fun. Cheesehead.:p;)
     
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  9. deansrobinson

    deansrobinson VIP Whale

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    J'ever wonder 'bout that stuff? Where do these urban myths come from and why are they so embraced?

    I think a lot of it has to do with some primal desire to cling to the magic and mysterious. With every tick of the clock, our knowledge increases at an alarming rate. At one point in time people believed that it was within the realm of possibility that the 'stars could fall from the heavens'. And when I was a young feller, the universe - universe - had no other planets than the ones circling about our sun. Now...not so much. The weather is no longer mysterious. That which was once miraculous is now readily explained by science. There's something about us carbon based life forms that wants to believe the fantastic. We want to believe the outlier is in fact not the outlier.

    Are we gullible? Are we all, to a degree, susceptible to 'the con'? Whether it's the surefire road to riches flipping houses using other people's money or Mister Rogers was a Navy Seal, there's something about us that can't prevent us from snappin' at the bait... :eek:
     
  10. Breeze147

    Breeze147 Button Man

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    Fixed it. :wave:
     
  11. Breeze147

    Breeze147 Button Man

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    I have this pet theory that I call "Religion and Red Lights". They are both there to keep the masses under control. It's so people can believe in something other than the awesome truth.
     
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  12. deansrobinson

    deansrobinson VIP Whale

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    That's kinda my thinking as well. We're on the same page.
     
  13. dmr

    dmr Registered Abuser

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    One of my cousins (a girl, not much older than me) used to keep small boa constrictors when she was in her teens and 20s. These were actually quite friendly and harmless to people. The big excitement (which my brothers LOVED) when we would visit was to feed the snakes. I will not go into detail on this. Hint: No, it was not Purina Snake Chow! :(
     
  14. alanleroy

    alanleroy Click my avatar

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    How timely this post is...

    BREAKING NEWS

    http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/incredible-moment-dead-man-cut-10114637?service=responsive

    Horrified villagers searching for their missing pal were shocked when they found him in the stomach of a 7m-long PYTHON who had swallowed him whole.
    Friends of Akbar Salubiro say he was still wearing welly boots, short and t-shirt when he was cut from the belly of the beast.

    You can't make this stuff up. Or maybe you can. I just wonder if they were curled up or stretched out the night before.
     
  15. Rush

    Rush MIA

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    Snakes don't swallow people, no violence in Vegas......what's next?
     
  16. Richard Alpert

    Richard Alpert LOST

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    I guess being from the middle-of-nowhere puts me at a disadvantage when it comes to knowing about urban legends like this.

    When Sasquatch stopped in for jerky and Tang the other night he noted that he'd prefer to be called a rural legend!

    RICHARD
     
    The Alperts Take Polo Towers!
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