THEtripreport at HGVC

The king and his queen (female wife, not queen, queen) have returned from what can only be called the best Vegas trip EVER! So let’s begin. We arrived at the B’ham airport about an hour and 15 before departure. This was the first trip on Southwest for both of us so we didn’t know that when you check in determined your boarding zone. We ended up in zone B. Not sure if this is the way it is on all Southwest flights, but only like 5 people were in zone B, 3 in zone C, and the rest in zone A. The king and his queen ended up in the back of the plane, across the aisle from one another, which wasn’t so bad. The king ended up next to a talkative young lady and her boyfriend of 7 YEARS (just marry the girl already). They were catching a connecting flight in Vegas to Yosemite National Park. If the king were to ever go to Yosemite, his connection would have to go through some other city than Vegas cause when the king is in Vegas, he stays in Vegas. 6 completed crossword puzzles later, we have arrived!

The airport is still under construction, but baggage claim has been completed since the king’s last visit. The taxi line was LONG, but moved quickly so we were on our way to the Hilton Grand Vacations Club at the Hilton in under an hour. Everything good you have heard about HGVC is true! There was no line at check-in, the staff was very friendly and we were up in the room immediately even though it was 2 hours before check-in. The king was bothering the girl behind the counter about an upgrade so she showed him all the rooms that were available and let him pick the one he wanted. He picked 1126, right over the pool and a good view of Sahara, Circus Circus, and Wynn, but the rest of the strip view is obstructed by Jockey Club condos. With this room the HGVC folks are really reeling the king in. The room is nice in the places you notice at first glance, but not so nice in the places you wouldn’t. Cheap wall paper, carpet, and furniture, but a washer and dryer (which allowed the king to pack light a do laundry every other day), full size coffee maker, double sinks in the bathroom, and two TVs! These places were made to be sold after being shown for only 15 minutes!


Quark’s Bar

The queen wants to unpack but the king is ready to head to the Hilton for lunch at Quark’s. The king wins out and we are on our way. The walk to the Hilton is very short and the nearest door is right by Star Trek the Experience. The décor of Quark’s is not as good as it should be. Just because you paint everything silver, doesn’t mean it looks like a space station. At 2:30 on a Saturday the place was not even half full but the service was VERY SLOW! The staff’s uniforms look more like those of BJ dealer’s at Caesar’s than starfleet officers. The king started with a Klingon Blood wine then had a Romulan ale. To be the best drinks in the galaxy, they tasted a lot like Old Milwaukee died red or blue. Captain Kirk searched the universe for it’s best drink and it turns out he just needed to be told that Old Milwaukee had a taste as great as it’s name.

The king (once he finally gets to place an order) orders chicken marcella and the queen has a chicken quesadellia and the rings of orion (big onion rings). Not very high quality food here and the sauces are terrible. The characters walking around however, are excellent. The king expected them to look somewhat cheesy, but they look like they are right off the set of the TV show. Plus, they come by and speak with you and are never out of character! Almost made up for the bad food and service. Bottom line, this is a fun experience for a treker, but not a place to go for good eats. I give it a 5/10.


The king has that itch and soon will require cards and chips be placed in front of him. First, however, knowing he will do lots of playing at the Hilton he heads to the player’s club. He receives his card and is told to take it to the Supernova booth where all he has to do is spell MILLION and he wins a million bucks. The king immediately thinks, “I’m a freakin MILLIONAIRE!†M-I-L-L-I-O-N, easy, right? Must be some catch. Surely the Hilton isn’t given a million dollars to every one who can spell million. Maybe I have to spell it in Arabic or something. The king hands his card to the guy at the booth and quickly says, “M-I-L-L-I-O-N, now is that a check or do I get cash?†Turns out they have a touch screen and the letters are hidden behind planets. The king spells MILLIE and is done. Spelling Millie gets you a t-shirt, L or XL, neither of which will fit the king so he gives it to his father when he returns and the man literally has not taken it off since! The queen spelled MILLA and got a Hilton key chain.

Time for a little single deck BJ and things did not start off well at all on this trip. This was the king’s worst run of BJ EVER! Lost the first 8 hands and 12 of 13 total. If not for splitting 8’s vs a 7 with a double down, I would have been done much sooner. The queen was having better luck so the king decided to take a tour of the casino. The Hilton casino is very small to be in such a large hotel. The sports book was nice and the king got some action on Tony Stewart in the NASCAR race since he was 11-1 and had won 5 of the last 8 races. The sports book staff was very friendly, but I’ve never met someone at a sports book that wasn’t friendly. Probably cause they never have to deal with losers. If you lose a sports bet, you just throw away the ticket. You don’t head back to the counter unless you win. The new Hilton poker room will be in the back of the sports book. It looks like it will be a little small, but nice.

The king then got his first exposure with the Star Wars slots. A lot of fun, but they seem tight at the Hilton. Played them three time and didn’t get many hits. The king and his queen then head back to the room to watch the race. Stewart isn’t doing too well, so at 7:00 we are off to the Mirage. This will be the king’s first ride on the new monorail, which is OK. Not as nice as the one at Disney and as expected all stops will force you to walk through all the shops and the Casino of the place you end up before you get out to the strip.

We exit at Harrah’s and head across the street to the Mirage to pick up the Ray Romano Tickets. We have a few minutes before dinner at Onda’s so we play a little VP. The queen is hitting left and right, but the king is struggling (this is a common theme for this trip).

Onda’s

Business casual is the dress code but the place is full of folks in shorts and t-shirts drinking and being very loud. This kind of destroys the mood for the place. The service and the food however, were excellent! I had the veal and the queen goes for the lasagna. The veal was tender and cooked to perfection. Also the garlic and oil dipping sauce for the bread is very tasty! I’d say Onda’s was about 7/10. A little too loud, but the food and service are good!

Still had a few minutes before the Ray show so the queen wants to head back to her red hot VP machine. The king hits the slots and is still having NO LUCK. Just not his day, I guess.

Ray Romano

The Mirage theater is all theater seating. The seats are a little small, but OK. Jon Manfrellotti who played Gianni on the show is the opening act and he is pretty funny. Ray does his show at a very slow pace and some bits are very funny. I’m a huge Romano fan and noticed some of his bits are rehashed from as many as 10 years ago. They end the show taking questions and making fun of people. A good show and I am glad we went, but I saw Carrot Top last year at the MGM and overall preferred his show to this one.

Well, I have to take a break for a few hours and since I’m at the end of day one, I’ll post this now and give you days 2-6 later.

 

Day 2

Day 2 started with grocery delivery from Vons to the timeshare. This is really a great service if you would like to stock your room with snacks and drinks. We also needed laundry detergent and coffee for the week. The guy even turned down a tip saying, “We have a strict NO TIPPING policy.â€

After that it was off to the Paris to pick up the “We Will Rock You†tickets. I hate it when there is a line of like 12 people standing in front of the counter, waiting patiently to get tickets, and some people feel the need to just walk right past the line and up to the counter to ask, “Is this where I get tickets for WWRY?†Like we are all just standing in line cause it’s fun. I was glad the lady at the counter told her, “No, it’s not here, it’s at the back of that line!â€

The queen felt the need to shop so the king headed back for more Star Wars slots. Much looser at the Paris. Hit the Death Star bonus game twice and nailed 5 X-wings in a row for a nice little profit. Met back up with the queen and we were off to the show.

We Will Rock You

Again, the theater seats were a little small for my liking. Plus, our seats were behind about three empty rows so I’m not sure why rows N-P went unsold and we were stuck in row Q. Before the show started a guy sat next to me who wrecked of B.O. and cheap booze. At first his wife sat next to me, but then they switched seats. I guess her hubby had such a delightful funk going she figured she had to share it with strangers. Just a tip to others, if you are going to spend the morning walking the strip and sucking down cheap whiskey, how about a shower before going out to see a show?

As was suspected here a couple of weeks ago, the Sunday matinee does indeed feature the understudies. I think we actually preferred them as we saw a preview on the show on TV and thought our guy sung much better than the usual Galileo. I thought the show was a little corny and can’t say I was all that crazy about it, but the queen LOVED IT! She has been highly recommended the show to people since we returned. It’s billed as a combination rock concert and Vegas show and to me, it wasn’t rock concert enough.

From there we headed over to Caesar’s to see the forum shops. I always get lost in this place for some reason. I usually end up walking in circles around the Atlantis fountains wondering why there is no way to keep going through. We wonder around until 5:30 when its time for dinner.

Il Mulino New York

The second you sit down, 5 people suddenly pounce on you! One wants to know what kind of water you want, another asking if you would like something from the bar, another is bringing you cheese, and two more are bringing you bread. It’s all very intimidating. How about one at a time, please? I didn’t think any of the little starter dishes were very good. The zucchini was too hot, the bread was nothing special, and the Parmesan was too dry. Plus my drink was awful. Uhhhh, I like some juice with my tequila in my tequila sunrise please.

Next the waiter comes out and gives you the specials. Seven or eight appetizers and ten or twelve entrees. He finishes with, “or you can order from the menu.†Of course the queen says, “Can you go over that again?†It is a lot to comprehend when they fire it at you like that. I went for the mushroom ravioli cause he said it was the chef’s specialty. I also order a side of broccoli something. The queen had the pesto. Oh my God! My entrée was so good, I thought I was going to pass out! The queen’s entrée was also good, but the mushroom ravioli was out of this world! The broccoli stuff was good too, if you like broccoli.

The bill was a little high and I felt a little nickel and dimed by the fact they charged me $16 for two bottles of water. Also, the credit card receipt had two tip lines. One said Captain’s Tip and the other just said tip. I had no idea what to do with that so I figured 19% and split it between the two lines.

I was very happy with this place, but having 6 different people serve you is a little too much. I wish they would cut it back to about two.

Next the king and the queen decide to divide and conquer. The queen is tiered of the king standing around acting impatient while she tried to shop so she sends him away to gamble while she heads up to the fashion show mall. The king heads across the street to the IP (to see the loosest slots on the strip), joins the player’s club, and dives right in on some Let It Ride. Only two pair in about an hour, so it’s time for a new game. The king heads over for some BJ and grabs a seat and Little Richard’s table. It may have been James Brown, but he was too tall to be James Brown so the king figured he must have been Little Richard. Didn’t last long at this table either. Played a few slots and was taking such a beating decided I had to call it a night, for the sake of the bank roll, though it was only about 7:45!

On the monorail ride back to the Hilton, the king convinced himself he needed more action and couldn’t call it a night just yet. He hit the 3-Card Poker table at the Hilton and the good times were rolling! 90 minutes, 6 flushes and a straight later the king had recouped 75% of his IP loses and now it was time to call it a night. Headed back to the room and 15 minutes later the queen arrived. She reported that almost every store at Fashion Show was closed so she headed to the Riviera for some Let It Ride, then WALKED backed to the Hilton. Not sure why, but she did it.

Day three, coming soon.

 

Day 3

Day 3 starts with a monorail ride to the MGM, then a walk to Tickets2Nite for half priced Amazing Jonathan tickets. It frustrating to be in line knowing exactly what you want when SO MANY people walk up to the counter with no idea what they would like to see. Some folks literally spent 30 minutes at the counter. I timed it and the king was out of there in 134 seconds flat! Paid the extra 5 for VIP, but shouldn’t have (more on that later). The queen starts to drive the king crazy again by spending an hour at the M&M store though the schedule clearly states we have to be at the Mandalay for lunch at the Border Grille by 12:30.

Finally we are off to Mandalay. They have 3 maps here. One for TheHotel, one for the casino, and one for the shops area. Border Grille must be is some hidden, forbidden city where humans are not allowed to go as it is not on any of the maps! Frustrated, we head threw the shops and over to the Luxor. This was my first trip to Mandalay and I can’t say I was impressed. Tight slots and high table limits rarely impress me though. We had a taste for Mexican and the second we step foot in the Luxor we see the La Salsa Mexican Grill. Sounds good!

La Salsa

The waitress was very nice! We asked what one thing was and she said “Pork, but it only comes it once a week and it’s awful! I wouldn’t eat it, and I won’t serve it!†Good advice we figure. The king has a champion burrito, which is 37 ounces of burrito goodness! The queen has a something, don’t remember what and one of those margaritas by the yard. I may not mention it again, but know this, this thing will annoy me for the rest of the day. This big, two foot long tube, filled with booze will plague me for the rest of the day. Know this, as you read the rest of day 3, remember, it’s always there!

Overall, this was a pretty good place for a quick bite.

We found ourselves at the top of the pyramid amongst all the Luxor attractions. First we are roped into one of those funny little “put your head over other people’s heads†pictures (the queen loves those) then we spot an IMAX ride and get in line for tickets. The Luxor has two attractions however, with IMAX in the name, a ride and a movie. The people at the ticket booth should really make sure which attraction you want to do before selling you tickets. We wanted the ride and as you can probably guess, we got tickets to the movie. We didn’t know at first and were told there was a 45 minute wait for the attraction so we head downstairs for some Let It Ride. Still no luck for the king with this game. We head back up, discover we have the wrong tickets and exchange them for tickets to the ride.

The seats on the ride are very small and for the king this ride is 20 minutes of excruciating pain! Avoid this one if you are a big guy! Now very frustrated with the Luxor, we head to the Excalibur. The king quickly plants himself at a 3-Card Poker table cause that’s his game this trip. The queen had never played the game before, so the king gives her a quick lesson. The flushes and straights keep rolling in for the king but the queen is down 40 very quickly and ready to leave so color coming in two black out and we are on our way back to the room.

After a couple hours laying on the couch, we make the short walk up to the Sahara for the Amazing Jonathan.

The Amazing Jonathan

You wait at the door for the matredee (sp?) to seat you. He takes you to some terrible seat, but if you complain and slip him a tip, you can seat in any available empty seat. This is why the VIP ticket is worthless. Some people who did not have VIP tickets got better seats than us, just by getting into the theater sooner. I’m not sure why they even sell the VIP when seats and determined by tips, not your ticket.

The show is freaking hilarious! My favorite of the trip and maybe my favorite Vegas show EVER! I’ve seen Jonathan before and a lot of the jokes were the same old stuff, but he has added Psychic Tonya to the show to freshen things up! The gags that feature her make the show worth seeing even for old time Amazing Jonathan fans like myself!

After the show, we hit the Sahara Casino and I really enjoyed it. I played a little BJ while the queen hit the VP machines. I sucked down free drinks till I was tipsy, then decided it was a good idea to wonder the streets of Vegas back to the hotel. Another great day in Vegas. A little up and down, but overall, a good day. Day 4 in on the way!

 

Day 4

When you're alone and life is making you lonely
You can always go - downtown
When you've got worries, all the noise and the hurry
Seems to help, I know - downtown
Just listen to the music of the traffic in the city
Linger on the sidewalk where the neon signs are pretty
How can you lose?

The lights are much brighter there
You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares
So go downtown, things'll be great when you're
Downtown - no finer place, for sure
Downtown - everything's waiting for you

Day 4 was scheduled to be the downtown day, but first, the king wants to do Star Trek the Experience at the Hilton. I get there just as it opens and hit the Klingon Encounter. The attraction lasts 15 minutes and some actors are shared between the two attractions so they do 4 Kilgons shows, then 4 Borg shows, etc. alternating between the two every hour. I saw the first Klingon show of the day, then wasted 45 minutes waiting for the next Borg show. Wish they had let me know it would be a 45 minute wait so I could have hit a BJ table while I waited.

The Klingon thing is cool, the first part anyway. I won’t ruin it, but if you are a Star Trek fan, it’s amazing. The ride itself was a little cheesy, but the little skit they run you through at first is cool! The actors at the Hilton really get into character and make it seem real! The Borg attraction is just about the same. Cool pre-show then a cheesy 3D movie. Overall though, I rate this attraction a MUST DO and will be back. It’s that good!

The king walks out to find the queen at a BJ table and quickly joins her. We were both winning and having fun, so we spent way too much time here. The dealers were just so much fun to talk to. Finally about 2:30 we catch a cab downtown and first walk over to Mermaids for a fried twinky. I thought it was delicious, but the queen was not impressed. What did impress the queen was the large array of cheap souvenir shops downtown. The king’s eyes are affixed to the signs on the Glitter Gulch promising topless female fun. The queen shews the king inside so that she can have some private shopping time and the king has the time of his life! The girls here are great and the drinks are good! If you like that kind of thing, you should really give this place a try. In my single days I did many a strip club and this was one of the best I have been to!


Gold Nugget Buffet

Hooked back up with the queen and we were hungry so we looked for a place to eat. We stumbled into the Gold Nugget buffet and decided to give it a shot. I wish we hadn’t. It was terrible! All the food tasted cheap and bad. The service was OK though. I was pretty drunk and sat at the wrong table one time and the waitress helped me back to my seat without causing a scene.

Table game and slot fun followed at the Lady Luck, Binions, and Fremont. Downtown has lost some appeal with me, but the queen still loves it! We bought a few more souvenirs and in one shop a drunk guy made a scene because it seems he was charged a dollar for a plastic fork. We were tired so we hopped a cap back to the room for a little R&R.

After about 90 minutes the king got that itch again so we hopped back on the monorail and headed back to the strip. We stopped at Harrah’s cause we wanted to score one of those famous Casino Royale coupon books, but as we walked through Harrah’s Papa Sam invited us to sit at his Let It Ride table and we could not refuse. This still was not the king’s game so he moved on the 3-Card Poker. Still no luck, so I headed over to the Elvis slots. These machines are a lot of fun! I played for about 3 and a half hours. Didn’t win a bundle, but didn’t lose one either. Hit plenty of bonus games, so I was pretty happy. The queen finally found me. She had hit a full house at Let It Ride and was up 5 hundy so she was ready to go. Wow, another great day. Only two more to go. Day 5 is on the way!

 

Day 5

The morning of day 5 is wasted with the timeshare sales pitch. We decide NOT to buy. Though we are really enjoying the room we are in, we like to stay different places and don’t want to be tied into staying in only one of the 3 Hilton timeshare places, so we say no. Still seems like a pretty decent deal. $20G plus $700 per year in exchange for hotel rooms for life isn’t that bad, just not for us.

Top Of the World

We head to the Stratosphere for lunch at the Top of the World. The view from up there is better than I ever thought it would be, just amazing. I really liked our server here. The tower salad is excellent. Perhaps the best salad I’ve ever had. I had the lobster ravioli as an entrée and the queen is having the Chef’s corner that comes with prime rib. Neither of us is really thrilled with the entrée here. Plus, the restaurant was only using about 3 tables in the whole place and when a noisy party of 8 showed up, they stuck them right next to us, rather than put them a couple tables away. We did not appreciate that. Still though, if you subtract what it would have cost to ride up the tower from the restaurant bill, it’s not a bad value.

I don’t really understand why there is no smoking on the observation deck. All I know is that it is really annoying you can’t. The queen decides it’s time for more gaming and wonders where we can go. I say that I believe there is a large room right down stairs that they use as a casino. I’ve played The STRAT before, so I know I like their casino, so I head down for some BJ. The queen lags behind to do a little shopping. I’m about breaking even and the queen is losing so she decides we should leave. She also decides we should WALK back to the Hilton. Not sure why, but whatever. On the way back we stop at a tattoo parlor and consider getting each other’s names tattooed across our buttocks, but then decide that’s not such a good idea.

Back at the room I call and make a reservation at Garden of the Dragon at the Hilton and we head over for some BJ. I’m on fire tonight, one winning streak after another, and tipping the dealer plenty.

Garden of the Dragon

We head over to the Garden of the Dragon. We had a neat little waiter who explained to the queen the difference between Chowmein and Lowmein. Overall the service though was pretty slow and below average. This place is quiet and very private. I enjoyed it.

I had the Sweet and Sour Pork, the queen and chicken lowmein. I’ve had sweet and sour pork all over the world and this was the best I’ve ever had. Just excellent. The lowmein was also good, but I have to admit, the queen’s chicken was nothing to right home about. Overall, I would say this may have been the best meal I had in Vegas. I highly recommend this place for good Chinese food!

We head back out into the casino and play until the wee hours of the morning, gambling and drinking. The queen scores another full house and another 5 hundy at Let It Ride. There was a middle eastern gentleman at the table playing $75 per hand and bragging about buying one of million plus $$$ condos in Ivana’s tower, but before too long, the queen’s chip stack was larger than his. Pretty funny. Another great day, but only one left.

Day 6

The plan for day 6 is to see the Hard Rock, the Wynn, and have lunch at Ellis Island. I wanted to Taxi to the Hard Rock, the queen wants to monorail to Bally’s and walk. Along the way we walk by the Tuscany and I tell the queen I’d like to check this place out for a minute. The queen heads for the gift shop and picks out something she MUST HAVE, however, it’s more than she wants to pay. She tells the gift store lady she’ll head to the casino to see if she wins enough to buy it. The gift store lady says to join the player’s club and buy it with comp dollars so we decide to do just that.

There’s still fast easy comps at the Tuscany. About 4:30 I mention to the pit boss we are heading to Ellis Island for a bite and he asks us to try the coffee shop there on him. He says it’s just as good. We take him up on his offer.

Tuscany Coffee Shop

They have themes every evening and tonight’s was Chinese. We just had Chinese so we go for the standard menu, both ordering steaks. Pretty average coffee shop fare, but the service was good and the meal comped, so who cares. Free eats always taste better. A little fatty, but still a good meal. I’d recommend it for a quick bite. Just wish they had given us free eats at one of the other restaurants.

After eating, we hit the machines again, feverishly building comp dollars and having great fun. I find a Joker’s Wild VP machine that is HOT! I hit 5 four-of-a-kinds and I’m $36 up when I leave (not bad for a nickel machine). I’m also hitting the Wheel of Fortune at times and the Star Wars slots. I was playing 20 lines, 5 cents per line on Star Wars and hit the Maximum Death Star bonus which paid me 12000 credits or $120. Not bad. I was actually up at the Tuscany. These are some very loose slots! The dealers and pit bosses here are also among the nicest in Vegas! Played a little three card poker while there and had this exchange with the dealer after I sat down.

“Where ya fromâ€
“Alabamaâ€
“Oh, wow, where ya staying?â€
“In a timeshare over by the Hiltonâ€
“Niceâ€

30 minutes later, this conversation takes place.

Dealer: “Your being quiet over there, where ya from?â€
Gambler 1: “You already asked him thatâ€
Gambler 2: “You still from Alabama?â€
Me: “Yepâ€
Gambler 2: “You still in the timeshare over by the Hilton?â€
Me: “Yepâ€

Pretty funny. We ended up gambling at the Tuscany over 10 hours before heading back. It was by far our favorite stop of the trip! It’s almost perfect for us, if they just had a Let It Ride Table. Needless to say, this is probably where we will stay on our next trip to Vegas. Now we just have to figure out when that will be. Soon I hope!

A couple of closing thoughts:

*The Hilton is also pretty nice. I would not hesitate to stay there from what I’ve seen.
*The humidity in the south is NOT overrated. When it’s 91 in Alabama, sweat pours off my body. 108 in Vegas and I’m dry as a bone.
*The sites on the schedule we missed were Ellis Island, Hard Rock, Wynn, and Peppermill. We’ll have to get those next time around.
*Both the queen and I decided we would like to see Zumanity, but the price is a little steep.
*Next stop, Foxwoods in about 2 months!

 

nice report, thanks.

i am with you on the opinion on the paris theatre seats, that must have been a skinny ass little frenchman that designed them!

with what i can make with 20 grand of capital, plus another 700, i can buy a whole lot of las vegas hotel rooms, if i need to pay for them. thanks very much for the info on the costs quoted you, i have always been curious, but never wanted to waste las vegas time on hearing the pitch.

 

Tuscany . . .

Thanks for the well written report King. When you do stay at the Tuscany, you will love the rooms (suites) and the very comfortable pool.
Each Guest Suite Features...

25" remote-controlled cable television, pay-per-view movie access, music access, and Nintendo for the kids
One king-size or two double beds
Coffee maker with complimentary coffee
Refrigerator
Hairdryer
Iron with ironing board
Deluxe over-sized bathrooms featuring separate soaking tub and shower
Wireless High-Speed Internet Access available through SBC
Writing desk and telephone equipped with modem port
Handicapped, Smoking and non-Smoking rooms
<LI>Complimentary electronic in-room safe Each Guest Suite Features...

 

Nice trip report!!

FYI, Border Grill is on the LOOOOOOONG walkway from the MBay casino over towards the convention center and shark reef--I walked it a couple times a day in Feb. when we were working a convention--Border Grill was always hopping, probably mostly convention attendees if they were the only ones who could find it

 

Hey King--

Great report man... But damn, don't be singin' the praises of the Tuscany too loudly, or it'll get crowded over there.

It's my new favorite place, too.

Mikey