The Other White Meat...

Man oh man...what a night I've had...

I just crawled home and due to my work schedule, I'm wide awake--it's 4am Vegas time, and I think it's time for a Buffoonery Update.

First of all, I left the house about 12 hours ago, heading back to the Big O. Yep, that's right, the Orleans. I was supposed to meet Tonya and the Cleavage Tour at 5pm, along with any other party crashers from the LV Talk board who might have been interested.

I got there about 40 minutes early, planning on getting a bite to eat. So I got myself a Corona from one of the cocktail waitresses and headed over to Don Miguel's. The chips and salsa/guacamole/bean dip were pretty darn good, and I ordered a seafood chimichanga for my meal. Of course I was disappointed--I always seem to order that whenever I go to a Mexican restaurant, but it's always soggy. That's my fault--too much moisture in the shrimp/scallops/crab so I think it's a recipe that sounds good in theory but the reality always comes up short. That's ok, I ate it anyways. The seafood was good, even if the wrapper was kinda icky.

I made my way back over to the Mardi Gras bar and only had to wait a few minutes before I saw Tonya and her ample bosom leading a pack of females towards my table... Introductions were made, drinks were ordered, and the stories started to flow. 3Cats made an appearance, along with a couple other gals from the LVT board. So there I was, again, sitting in the middle of the bar with 7 women surrounding me and listening to every word. Not a bad gig if you can get it, fellas...

One of the gals had brought some, ahem, "novelty" straws along to put in the drinks, but I took a pass on that bit of buffoonery. The straws were what you'd call 'anatomically correct', and there were way too many cameras around, so I drank straight from the glass thank you very much.

After a few rounds and a few shots (That's right, the T2Vers were representin' on this day!), we decided to head downtown and take a ride on the Grain Train. However, we had to make a pit stop in one of the hotel rooms to drop some stuff and use the facilities before we left. At this point the evening starts to get hazy, but somehow I ended up in bed with five of the girls.



Yeah, that was fun and all, but I just didn't have the strength to satisfy all of 'em at the time (shoulda had oysters instead of scallops, I guess...), so we headed back downstairs and caught a couple of cabs down to the Plaza.

The first order of business was to do the free spin on the machine at the casino entrance, but of course none of us won a darn thing. After that, it was across the street to Le Bayou for six yards of Banana Bayou with an extra shot of 151 in each.

Oh hell yeah...we were well on our way already, so we were expecting a derailment at some point...

After we got our beads and drinks, we headed down towards the Nugget because there was a pretty damn good Elvis Impersonator singing on the outdoor stage. After a quick visit to the Pioneer gift shop, we parked ourselves right in front of the stage for the duration. Much singing, dancing, and makin' out ensued. And of course the Grain Train started to kick in, pretty much wiping out any inhibitions we had left...

I must say that I was in rare form, and I sure had a great time...there are several pictures that are going in the vault, just like March Madness, but I can give you a peek at a couple.








I must've been quite the party-goer, because at some point I started hanging out with Tom Jones. Yeah, the Tom Jones. It would be a massive understatement to say that the chicks were diggin' us. Brothaman may be gettin' up there in years, but he's still got plenty of Mojo to spare!





By the way, Tom makes a pretty damn good wingman, even better than Eddie B, I have to say.

After that, things got *really* hazy. I had way too much to drink, and so did a couple of the girls. They parked themselves on the sidewalk in front of the Nugget, while I was still wandering around doing my thing, talking to random people that came up to me (and Tom, of course...) In the middle of all this, a cute little blonde gal comes up to me and says Hey, you're Hurricane Mikey, aren't you?

Why, yes, yes I am. Who might you be?

Turns out it was another T2Ver, BZY1 (you know, the one from Mexico...) Anyhow, her and a friend had just arrived in town and were down wandering around on Fremont Street and picked me out of the crowd. Pretty cool, huh? I think we made tentative plans to hang out in Mexico later this summer, but I'm not quite sure how the conversation went.

By this time, the Grain Train was a full-on derailment for a couple of the gals. I have a picture that makes Doc Al's visit to the garbage can look like a teenager searching for a retainer at Micky D's...The poor gal was a mess with a capital F. It was so bad that security came and got me and told me that they'd call the paramedics and take her to detox if I didn't get her out of there. Well, the other three that were sober enough to walk helped me carry the other two to the cabstand at the Nugget, all the while getting a lot of thumbs up and laughs from the crowd. We were a sorry sight. Somehow the girl from Pulp Fiction with all of the piercings in her face joined us and made sure the six of us got to the cabstand...



After that, darkness.

The next thing I knew, it was 2:30 in the morning and I'm waking up in a hotel room at the Orleans wondering where my pants were and why my foot was all bloody. (Apparently I'd smashed it somehow--pretty bad, too--I lost my big toenail completely....ouchie)

I can't be sure, since I was pretty trizashed, but I think there may have been some cross-pollenization between T2V and LVTalk... Just doin' my part to be an ambassador of T2V, that's all...

Anyhow, I snuck out like a man and went downstairs for the graveyard special at the coffee shop. $2.95 for a ham steak, eggs, hashbrowns, and toast. Not quite as big or as good as the old Benny's Natural, but a close second. I couldn't finish it.

A few minutes later I fetched the ghetto sled from the valet and made my way back to my own bed...But since I'm Wide Awake in America, I thought I'd share a little bit of a trip report with you all.

I think I'm supposed to meet up with them all again later today.... Perhaps I'll have another story to tell at that time.

Mikey

 

Mikey... Living the life, that just brings a tear to my eye.

 

I would normally say that "darkness" came at the best part (particularly with the pantlessness and the foot-blood) but with you Mikey, I'm not sure there are any bad parts...

 

Wild thing....you make my heart sing ...you make everything...wild thing

 

Another classic Day in the Life of Mikey. Thanks for sharing. Keep 'em coming.

Bob

 

Is it OK in Nevada to drive with that much alcohol in your system? If so, I'm cancelling the car when we come next time, I'd rather walk....

 

As always, Mikey your stories bring tears to my eyes - both from laughter and of course, tears of frustration and jealousy that I am not there!!! LMAO - good times, my brotha, good times.....

 

I only hope my adventures in LV next week are a fraction of what you are describing.

 

Wowzer !!
Sounds like you had a great night
Just be careful not have any "Little Mikey's"
running around in 9 months.
lol

 

Love it, love it

So funny! Man what a great story to read in the AM . Damn Tom Jone looks orange what a bad tan!

You are truley the man!

 

Damn Dude, You are a Rock Star! All the girls wanna be with you...all the guys wanna be you. Keep the tales coming...

"Tom Jones" pulled my wife up on stage with him when we were there last month. She loved it. He really pulls off the look and sound.

 

Keepin' busy!

LOL! I had to read this line twice. I read it as having "I" between "so did"

 

OMG-- I too am sitting here LMAO--- Thanks for sharing---
I also think "Tom Jones" needs a better can of spray on tan......

Will be there Monday nite.....I'll wave if I see ya

 

Great and I had a mouthful of potato soup which is now on the keyboard. That was a GREAT read!

 

Mikey... the Energizer tv2'er

Shear entertainment! How do you keep it coming? I have taken to not reading your posts while drinking any liquids. You just can't tell when some comment will cause a LOL! Keep up the sharing, it helps those of us who can only dream the dream.

 

Mikey, it sounds like you might have had a run in with a foot fetish carnivore! You better take a good inventory of "all" your digits just to be on the safe side.

Are you running one of those gigolo escort services?

 

Are you sure you didn't run into that guy running around Fremont Street with the Cooler

Here's to you Mikey.... Living the life I can only Dream of.

 

Do we need to start compiling a list of stuff spit onto monitors while reading one of Mikey's posts? Coffee, soda, salad, protein shake, potato soup... well... maybe that's enough of a list right there!

 

Gosh!...Another boring day at the office, huh!

On a more serious note, sounds like one helluva time!

 

Vivid Dreams Indeed

I can't even dream that good! I was supposed to be there for the meet, but I had to cancel my trip. After reading this, however, I get the feeling I am better off at home.

Moe