The "I'm turning 21" celebration!!!

Okay, I could do this day by day but for some reason I don't feel the need to!

Well, the trip started off on a sour note! My car was pulled over for a random search at the airport! I had no freaking idea that they can do this, but soon learned that if I didn't comply it would be bad news for me. It took over 20 minutes and after bitching and moaning they let me through with the standard "have a great trip!" I was really upset about this, it would have been one thing if I had known about it but since I didn't I thought I would be late to the gate.

Standard Southwest crap... They were actually on time this flight and when I told them it was my friend's 21st B-Day party weekend they said they had some fun things involved on the flight. Well, when we got on the plane, they made her wear a captain's hat that had steamers and SWA flight pins all over it. Along with that they gave her a free beer for a B-Day present. The fun started there. They made her read the safety regulations over the speaker and told her to annonunce that it was her 21st B-Day and everyone cheered! We all played the dollar game (everyone put in a dollar, and the seat number called would win the pot!) Well the guy who won told the stewardess to put it in the till and keep bringing my friend beer until she stopped wanting any. Nice guy, but my friend was getting a little plowed even before we hit the ground. The money that was left over was given to my friend to start out her trip with a limo (which we already had 2 for the group) so we got her a return trip back in the limo! Again, what a cool guy!

Landing was smooth and we were off to the Paris to get checked in. Tracy(my friend) was just in awe of everything around her. The Paris was packed, we asked to have rooms on the same floor and that didn't happen. After we dumped off my stuff, we were off to play some games. The craps at the Paris was packed, there was this guy rolling there and he couldn't lose! If I had only gotten there a bit earlier I could have been up 2 grand or so easily from what the people at the table were saying. I took that as a good sign of things to come! We high-tailed it to the Bellagio where she wanted to try craps there. We were lucky that a $5 table just had some people leave and the 4 of us squeezed in and saw there were 3 people on the don't side. If you have read my trip reports before, there is nothing I like better than to wipe the smirks off their faces. Well Tracy and the others put down the passline bets and started of with the Ohio(horn high yo) for 10 bucks. I rolled an 11 right of the bat. Nice... Parlayed it and pressed it up to $75, rolled a 2... NICE! $450 back my way after two rolls! The dont's were like "Nice roll, you helped us both." I'll spare you the details, but after 2 hours we all walked out of there at least $300 ahead and had some buffet comps waiting for us!

It was time to eat and we had reservations at the Delmonicos. Again, nice place and the food was excellent. A free meal for me, but I bought the group a round before we started and that came out to close to $80 bucks for the 12 of us. No worries there, I was having a great time! The waiter was great and he received a HUGE tip on top of the 20% that was charged to the bill. He had some great jokes and he remembered all of our orders without having to write them down. Nice, I couldn't remember my name at times of the trip.

After dinner, we cabbed it over to the Palms and went into the club there. We were supposed to have a private area, but for some reason it wasn't on the list (even though it said on our line passes that we had one...) They were mad, but I just drank and drank, and drabk some more... Pretty soon I was sooo drunk that all the people started to get fuzzy looking and then I saw some guy that looked so familiar that I had to go and ask him his name. When I got over there, he stared at me and said I looked familiar. I was in a daze from the various alcoholic beverages I was consuming and I told him my name and he yelled out "NO WAYYYYY!!!" Turns out this guy was my best friend from grades 1-6 in Washington. I was shocked and started to laugh and thought, "Is this really happening or did I just pass out and having a dream?" So, for almost three hours we sat and drank caught up. Turns out he married my 1st girlfriend in 5 th grade, and she was at another club with her friends. He told me that he was staying at the Cortez because it was a last minute thing and he actually lives about 45 minutes away from me in Vista(Ca). We exchanged cell numbers and we were both off on our way. It was 2:30 and I had had enough and when I went to find the group I was with, the were nowhere to be found. DAMN... Well, now it was time to go and then I felt really dizzy and then....

I came to and they were two bouncers and three waitresses around me. I had only been out for like 2 minutes but they had already called the paramedics. I guess I tripped over another guy who had passed out as I was passing out and hit my head pretty hard on the back of a chair. The other guy was still out and his breathing was irregular. In my drunken state, I told them I was certified in CPR and if they needed me before the paramedics got there. They all laughed because I guess the way it came out was "I know CPU, i'm CPU certified..." After letting the paramedics check me out, they told me to go and put ice on my head and sleep the alcohol off... I was really embarrassed, this was the first time I had ever passed out since the Mad Dog and the Night Train at my Bachelor party 10 years ago... Caught a cab and got a good laugh from the taxi guy after I told him what happened. Sleep time...

The next morning, 1 pm, I woke up and there was a message for me from my friends saying they knocked on the door and went to the breakfast buffet and would call me later. Damn, I missed the Paris breakfast. I got dressed, checked my head out and only a small lump was there and a HUGE headache...

I called my friends and they were all downtown at the Horshoe playing craps and WINNING! I high tailed it over there and when I got there, the racks were full all the way around. Tracy had the dice for thirty minutes 3 times when it came to her. She was betting big now as well, 10-20 on the pass and full odds with her come bets hitting as well. A spot opened up, but I stayed clear because I didn't want to be the one to jinx the table. I looked in the center of the table and the hardways were stacked pretty high. I guess Tracy was hitting them rather frequently, so another hard 4 came and I told her to parlay it and stack the 6 and 8. She said no at first and one of the dealers told her to do it and put a little in there for the boys. She did and sure enough a hard 8 hit. She had $75 on there so the payoff was very nice at $750. The dealers put down almost $300 on that one as well and they were cheering us on! I told her to press the hard 6 and 8 up to $100 and she didn't even hesitate this time seeing how I was right the roll before. 5, 9, 3, 11, HARD 6!!! The table was cheering and high fiving and the wave even appeared (second time I have seen this in Vegas.) $1000 coming out to Tracy and she threw another $50 each on the hard 6 and 8 and she 7'ed out after that. The other end of the table was bowing to her and the chanting of "We're not worthy...." I was laughing so hard and we thought that was a good ending to that session with her being up almost $4500. There was a guy at the table who took almost 9 grand away and the line at the cage was rather happy! I though Becky was going to come out and close the table!!! After a quick call to verify, we were out of there. I wanted to go to the Cortez and play there, so we walked over there and it was dead. They had two craps tables there and one of them was completely empty. The minimum was a dollar with 10x odds. We all started small and after about 10 minutes of playing, the limit went up to $3. When I went to put out the $1 passline bet, they informed me of the sign and I said I wasn't stupid and I was there when it was a dollar. The pitt said it didn't matter what it was when I came in, it was $3 now and I said that was the worst rule ever and could go back to the Horseshoe and play for that. He informed me that if I kept being rude he would have to ask me to leave. Wow... All my friends were looking at me because they know I can lose my cool on things like that when I know i'm right!

I calmly stated our case and asked if the minimum be changed back down to $1 for some of our friends who were just learning how to play (even though their pockets were FAT from the session earlier..) After making a phone call, they agreed and all was well again, but the boss had his eye on me. When the dice came to me, I was trying a new way of setting them and he told me to hurry up that the other side was waiting. They all laughed, because they were all with me and didn't care how long I took. I told him to calm down and I quickly 7'ed out. I wanted no more of that table and let the a$$ know it. I went to BJ for awhile and the others stayed there and did okay... I bought in for $400 and two lady bosses were over to get my info for the players card and just watched my play. I started out at $25 a hand and after awhile I was up to $75 to $100 a hand. The dealer just kept busting. All little cards on her side too, I had nothing less than a 19 and won 12 hands in a row! She busted 9 of those and when she got up to leave, I tipped her $75 and got up with my chips. I was up like $1000 from that session and thought I should stop so the ladies could take a break from watching me play!

I went back over to the craps table and the table was full and the racks were looking good! Tracy was tired of all the smoke so they colored up and left the table up $75 bucks. Not bad for playing $1 passline bets!

We ate at the Bellagio for dinner with our comp and line pass, there was at least an hour+ wait in the regular line. I was a happy guy. I had so many shrimp and crab legs with butter suace I thought I was going to throw up.

After that, we hit Club 2K at the Venetian. I love that place... A few drinks and I was toast. I don't remember how much I drank, just that it was a lot and I stopped when I was walking crooked...

We walked back to the hotel, and as we got to the front there was a couple of older ladies who were getting out of there brand new Mercedes for the valet. I saw a guy kind of walk over and hand them a ticket and drive away. The bad part was the ticket didn't have a name on it and they had just had their new car stolen. Note to self: don't steal a car and expect to get away on the strip. The car was stuck at the light and the security just ran over to get the guy. The guy fled and he was gone but the car was still there with nothing wrong at all! They were lucky, and thanked the security guards many, many times. Went up to the room and slept.

Woke up the next morning with a call from my old friend and he was leaving that night and wanted to gamble a little bit with me before he left. I met him at the Cortez and the SAME pitboss was there and said, "Here comes the complainer..." Allen just looked at me funny and we just went to the other table which had exactly two openings. This was a blast. We started talking about old friends and come to find out, there was a "6th grade reunion" coming up. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw this one guy at the other table by himself and he was setting the dice and throwing numbers... I told Allen to switch tables with me and we walked on over to the other table taking flack from the boss. I smile at him and we all went to work. Allen and I were at one end and "Bob" (we asked him his name and he said we could call him Bob...) was at the other end. I looked at his bets. He was passline betting and backing with the 10x and throwing $30 on the 6 and 8 and $15 on the hard 6 and 8 while the point was nine. Allen and I duplicated his bet, thinking he knew what he could throw. He set the dice and just threw them up and they bounced once and the hard 8 came up. Wow... I knew this was too good to be true. The guy put the "shhhh" sign up to his lips and I just kept quiet. He parlayed his hard eight and we pressed ours up to $75. He then hit the hard 6 and did the same thing. He hit the 9 and then some people noticed and and the table got crowded. Thrity minutes later and three or four hard sixes and eights had passed by, they needed a fill on the chips... I was amazed. The guy was setting the dice one on top of the other and throwing them and hitting points and never rolled a eight of six that was"un-hard."

I looked in the center of the table and Allen and I had $200 on the hard six and eight. He hit it on the come out roll and we all had it off like always.. We put that past us and he rolled another one for the point and the great payout. The pit from the other side came over and tanother guy came down and was watching this guy. They took the dice from him and checked them "just to be sure... " They were nice about it, but then when he got the dice back he went to set them and the rude pitboss said, "Hurry up, we don't have all day..." I spoke up and told him in my opinion "bob" could take all day for all the great rolls he has had! The whole table screamed "Yeah" and clapped.... We all pressed up our Hardways to $300 each and Bob said, "Put the hardways on if you want to get paid...." I thought we owed it to him to honor his words and we said "ON!!!!" Sure enough, he rolled the double 4.... The whole table just screamed and half the casino came over to watch this guy roll... After another few grand being handed to me, Bob looked at the cranky pitboss and said, "This one is for you...." He pressed his to $400 and all of us did the same. He closed his eyes, set the dice, and threw... The first 4 landed and the other one hit the back wall, hit a stack of ones on the passline and fell... It was another 4... We all got paid, the people behind the table were getting nervous and they said they may have to ask this guy to leave under their breath (I have GREAT hearing...) We all pressed up our Hardways to $500 and called them ON again, then he threw a 5-3, which wiped out the hard eight and then preceeded to hit every other number on the board. The stacks were so high that it was hard for the dealers to keep up. Allen and I thought we were in heaven, and this had to end soon. After about another 20 minutes or so, Bob 7'ed out. And after the biggest round of applause I have ever seen, Bob bowed and exited the table to the cage. If I had to guess, he had over $15,000 in chips and it was well deserved! When I took my stacks up there, I had totaled over $10,000 in chips and had to sign this W-something to say I had played/won more than $10,000 in a 24 hour period. More on this later, I have questions...

Allen and I went back up to his room and I saw Becky for the first time in 20 years.... She was as pretty as she was in 5th grade... Allen proceeded to tell Becky that I had won over $10,000 at the tables and she didn't believe her so I had to show her. Allen said "Wait, we won the same amount so here is mine!!!" She screamed and we all jumped around for a minute. They gave me a ride to the Paris and they stayed with me at the sportsbook for alittle while and we drank and talked a bit more. It was time for them to get to the plane and we said goodbye. I went up to the room and had a 6 messages from various people telling me that my cell phone wasn't working and Tracy's mother won $83,000 on a slot machine at Harrahs! I grinned and put my head down and slept until it was time to get up in the morning. I'm glad I woke up, I didn't call for a wake up call or anything! We all met together and Tracy told me I could ride in the limo back to the airport. Nice stretch expedition limo, it was beyond sweet. We all had a great time, we all won big, and we all made it to the airport this morning on time.

Now, this is the best trip money wise that I have ever had. I think I am done for awhile with Vegas (I know, I know...) All this money goes into the end of the year trip fund. I think the family and I will take a cruise!

Random thoughts:

Cranky people suck

Good service gets a great tip in my book

The Casino Royale was boycotted by my whole group

6/5 Blackjack seems to be growing, maybe we need to camp out with signs.

BJ dealers who bust are your best friend

Butter sauce is so good, yet soooo bad

Bob rules!!! If you are out there, you know who you are and what you did

Besides that lame rule and the lame pitboss , the Cortez is still my favorite place downtown

Sometimes, I guess you can forget to eat for a whole day. Now I am starving

The Paris is a nice place to stay

The end...

Oh yeah, can someone explain this form that I signed? Do I have to declare that money? I was thinking about doing it but offsetting it with losses from the indian casinos around here... Let me know....

 

Jer.

Two Words. Day-um!!!

Dude, now that is a trip report!!! I love to hear about monster craps rolls. Ain't it awesome to be there when a table gets hot???

That's a beautiful story.

Mikey

[ March 10, 2003, 06:23 PM: Message edited by: HurricaneMikey ]

 

Jer,

You're an evil person. I dont know how to play craps yet, but after reading this, i must say, i'm tempted to get suckered into learning this game. haha

Anyway, good for you for sure, and you (and whoever was with you) definitely milked las vegas for what it was worth.. What were the final totals on your winnings?

Great T.R.

 

VJ,

Now that is a dream trip report, although that'll be the day that I miss a meal in Vegas (or anywhere for that matter!)...good news & bad news with that W-2G you got: you will have to claim your $10+ large as income, but you also be able to offset that income with other gambling losses from 2003. So if you can prove $10 grand in losses (please tell me this will keep you ahead for the year!), you'll owe nothing on your craps story-of-a-lifetime.

T-19,

Jim

 

I have GOT to learn to play craps! You guys always have the best trip reports!!!!!

 

Congrats on the great trip. loved the report. glad I can live vicariously though everyone until I can get out there.

Jim is correct about the taxes. You are going to have to claim the win on line 21 on your 1040. you can offset the income from losses as a misc. itemized deduction on your sched. A. You can not just report the difference of winnings minus losses. and you can not itemize more losses than "claimed" winnings.

So you are lucky winning and now have to deal with the IRS.

Publication 529 should help you out. It can be found at www.irs.gov

by the way I am not a CPA, I just slept at a holiday inn express last night.

Congrats again.

 

Fantastic sense of humor! It's nice to have a little levity--the boards been getting a little too serious for me lately I love those Holiday Inn ads. Actually, they sort of annoy me when I'm watching them and then I find myself laughing later....

 

Hey Jer...

The best way to find some good "loss documentation" is to look on the floor at the sportsbook on a busy day. Find some losing tickets with big bets on them and pocket 'em.

I'm told that the IRS needs more than just a yearly win/loss statement from the casinos, in case you're audited.

Mikey

PS. Hoya--I'm with you, craps players ALWAYS have the most fun!!!

[ March 11, 2003, 05:55 AM: Message edited by: HurricaneMikey ]

 

Mikey--you need to come up with a witty, risque t-shirt logo we can have made up so that when board members are in Vegas, we can recognize each other

 

I'm dreaming of a monster roll while I'm there. If it's not me, I hope I run into Mikey's friend Eddie when he gets hot.

T-8
V-Dice

 

Oh my God!! My heart was pounding reading your trip report. I want you to come with me next time I go to Vegas to show me what to do (at the craps table that is!)

 

Hey Hoya...

I was thinking of something along the lines of

DEFLOWERED DICE VIRGIN

(with the word 'dice' in much smaller letters, of course)

Mikey

 

But how do they know how much I won??? The only form I signed said that I had Went through $10,000+ in a day. It said nothing about what I won....

Monster rolls are great. My rolls overall stunk!!!

 

Nice report!!! Makes me wanna go out and learn craps. Is it difficult to learn?

Congrats on the win!

 

Wow...What an terrific trip report! Like a lot of the others here, I'm gonna make it a mission to learn how to play craps now!

 

Vegas Jer,

Let me first make sure you know up front, I am not a CPA (I am studying for that wonderful title, certified pain in the a$$ but havn't passed the exam yet)and I do not work for the IRS currently or have ever worked for them. I did apply for a job there, but that caused me to be deemed nuts, crazy, certifiable, out of it and I didn't pursue it any further. So now I work for another govt. agency. So realize this is coming from a govt. employee and we all know how reliable they are.....

Now that I have gotten that BS out of the way...

The form you signed will indicate to the IRS that you placed a great deal of $ (over 10k) down on bets during your trip. It will probably (guessing, b/c the formula used to indicate who should be audited by the IRS is more secret than the war plans for Iraq, it seems) alert the IRS to check your return for claimed winnings and will red flag your return for an audit. They will assume you won, so claim it and offset the winnings by any losses up to that amount.

This form is used to control money laundering. A similar form if not the same one must be filled out by banks whenever they receive large quantities of cash, i.e. over 10K and is reported to the IRS.

I suggest that if you are normally "agressive" on your tax returns to consider being less "agressive" on the 2003 b/c you may be a prime target to get audited.

hope this helps and dosn't further confuse you.

congrats again.

 

...OK....so I have a question. If Jer had just cashed in 5,000 one day, and then 5,000 the next day would he have still had to fill out that form?

 

I don't think so. The form is required for all cash transactions over 10K. It is also suppose to be filled out if the institution feels a need to report transactions under 10K. i.e. they think it is money being laundered and they want/need to report it. So yes they could have required it but I doubt most casinos would.

even car dealerships are required to fill out this form if someone pays with "cash" for a vehicle. Now we know how honest some dealerships are.....

Havn't I seen where they are slots that have a max payout of 9,999 for just this reason.

An auditor will probably look at all financial statments to look at cash flow during the year. i.e. do you see any negative cash flow to compensate for the expenses documented. S/he will try to determine what cash/assets were liquidated and lost to cover your "expenses".

 

glad to see another winner on board. but i`m worried at this rate there won`t be any money left in the nevada casinos.enjoyed your repo.

 

So now we know not to cash it in all at once, then we don't have to claim it on our taxes!