1. Welcome to VegasMessageBoard
    It appears you are visiting our community as a guest.
    In order to view full-size images, participate in discussions, vote in polls, etc, you will need to Log in or Register.

The 18th Annual Bleach and Botox Tour- L’Chaim!

Discussion in 'Vegas Trip Reports' started by Courtney, Mar 10, 2019.

  1. M0rtyC

    M0rtyC TBD

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2012
    Messages:
    854
    Location:
    North Shore Massachusetts
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    25
    I sneezed. Violently. Only it wasn’t a sneeze. It was a sneeze that sent every single muscle in my body into overdrive. Long story short, in one fluid motion, I sneezed, spit my gum onto the felt, and shot the most painful, sharp fart. I followed it up with an audible “Owww!”

    Congrats..... I was expecting a much worse outcome.
     
    • Agree Agree x 17
    • Funny Funny x 4
    • Like Like x 1
    • Love Love x 1
  2. Housecat

    Housecat Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2019
    Messages:
    166
    Location:
    Seattle
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    30

    Oh man, that had me laughing. Glad it wasn't like that scene from that move Hall Pass....The girl sitting on the tub.
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  3. VivaSladeVegas

    VivaSladeVegas Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2016
    Messages:
    233
    Location:
    Ohio
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    48
    May I suggest playing poker at The Orleans? There, the events you describe would not be embarrassing, but an indication that you are a regular.
     
    • Funny Funny x 7
    • Agree Agree x 1
  4. Courtney

    Courtney Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2005
    Messages:
    294
    Location:
    Tampa Bay, FL
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    14
    1323A9BD-6280-464C-8D78-FFC7E57D7A13.jpeg EBE01C9D-A17E-4E50-902D-CB2D4C2F2752.jpeg 6E746590-BA84-4AA6-8382-228209DD0B0F.jpeg 2B513FDA-BB8E-44DD-B541-D5B1995F89D1.jpeg Up before the Sun on Sunday, and down for coffee, and Fortune 88. A couple of small hits, but at this point, I was very close to tapping my original bankroll. I woke G, and we had breakfast at Le Buffet. We had some total rewards credits to burn up. The line for a Sunday morning at 9am was non-existent, shockingly. After breakfast, I played TCP for over an hour in Bally’s- $5 table. As a side, Harrah’s, Linq, Paris, and Bally’s all had $5 BJ tables- even on the weekend nights.


    After about 90 mins at TCP, I was up $80, so we headed out. We walked until Wynn, and got on the deuce (NOT express) downtown. We were treated the entire ride to a show by Clark County’s mother of the year. This gem was calling her two year old names, telling him to shut up, knock it off, stop being a moron, etc. When her stop came, she pushed the side doors open before the driver engaged (disengaged?) the hydraulics. This BROKE THE DOORS. Each time the bus would attempt to move, the doors would pop open again, and the bus wouldn’t move. We sat there like morons for about twenty minutes while the driver tried to fix the doors, a deputy tried to hold the doors closed while the driver put the put the bus in drive, and plenty of people got off. I said at least we have air conditioning. And with that, the bus turned off. We were across the street from the RTC center, so the driver said they’d bring us a new bus, but a very important looking person with a clipboard arrived and told the driver to re-start the bus. With that, we were off. I guess they only allow the think tanks to hold clipboards? Re-starting the bus did the trick, and two stops later we were downtown.


    We made a bee line for The D, and straight upstairs to vintage slots. There is a nine line Top Dollar machine across from sigma derby that I love. .90 a spin, and pretty much each spin pays. I sat there getting day drunk for an hour, and cashed out up $80 or so.


    We then walked to container park where my local friend was picking us up for the evening. After a walk around the shops, my friend arrived and off we went to her house in Henderson. In all my trips, other than downtown, I had never been off the strip. It was strange to see people living normal lives- going to grocery stores, and Home Depot, walking dogs. It’s like seeing your teacher at the mall- you forget that people have real lives.


    We got to her house and changed into bathing suits, headed to her community hot tub, and drank beers while cooking in the tub. The lights of the valley were gorgeous, and it cemented my decision to retire in Vegas. My Husbands are both on board with the idea. We have seven more years until our youngest goes to college- Or the military- either way, he’s out at 18- and we are moving to Vegas. I have big dreams of eating dinner at 3pm at the locals casino, and gambling $5 a day. We shall see.


    After the sun set and we were nice and buzzed, we called an uber and headed to a Mexican place called Lindo Michoagan in Henderson. The view from the restaurant was gorgeous, the food and drinks A+. I had frozen raspberry margaritas that were so good and strong. We enjoyed dinner, and the company! I asked the waiter how to pronounce the restaurant name, but he spoke almost no English. I asked in Spanish, and he was impressed. He told me in Spanish that he was surprised a white girl spoke such fluent Spanish. I explained that I went to the University of Miami, and speaking Spanish was a pre-requisite for admission. He asked if I lived in Las Vegas, and I told him no, I was a Floridian. He asked if I would like to move, he was single, made a very nice living, and would bring me home raspberry margaritas each night. I told him I’d been offered a lot for sex before, but never margaritas. I politely declined his generous offer, but we got a good laugh.


    G and I got an uber back to Harrah’s, local friend got an uber home. We were back at Harrah’s by 11:30, and a few spins on Goonies saw us ready for sleep. I was ready to get home, and usually would be leaving the next morning, as most trips are 4 nights. This was the first year we booked 5, and it was a bit much. I was asleep by 12:15, and actually slept until 6:30. Of course. The last morning and my body finally adjusted to the time change.

    A quick count of my money, and I was up $3 for the trip. Not bad for 4 days, but scary when you consider I was UP almost $2k at one point. Easy come, easy go.

    Last day, Monday to follow. Carnegie deli, a Lock it link Rally, Terry Fator, and a blast from the past.
     

    Attached Files:

    • Like Like x 5
  5. Vegasworm

    Vegasworm Finger Clicker Extraordinaire

    Joined:
    May 5, 2014
    Messages:
    1,202
    Location:
    Colorado
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    14
    This report is great! Love your style of telling all of the antics you and G did during your trip. Awesome!

    Vegasworm
     
    20th Wedding Anniversary Trip with V!
    Paul McCartney Concert and 20th Anniversary Celebration!!!
    • Agree Agree x 2
  6. breanna61

    breanna61 Super Moderator

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2008
    Messages:
    9,260
    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    113
    Loving your report; I was so worried for you during the sneeze story. Whew, could have been so much worse. If Casino Royale goes on the list of "Places I Can Never Go Again", it isn't a huge loss :)
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Love Love x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  7. Astribling

    Astribling VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2017
    Messages:
    1,399
    Location:
    Indiana
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    13
    Oh my, I am loving this report! Your style of writing and your humor are terrific!
    I can also relate to your TMI traveler's issues. I am always worrying that something will finally happen at the most inopportune time.

    Can't wait to read how this ends up!
     
    Rudies Weekend, drinking, gambling, fun!
    • Love Love x 2
  8. KellyLovesVegas

    KellyLovesVegas certified personal trainer/retired space nerd

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2012
    Messages:
    1,664
    Location:
    San Antonio, TX area
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    75
    Congrats on your weight loss! Very entertaining and FUNNY trip report!
     
    Birthday bash!
    • Funny Funny x 1
  9. KellyLovesVegas

    KellyLovesVegas certified personal trainer/retired space nerd

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2012
    Messages:
    1,664
    Location:
    San Antonio, TX area
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    75
    Best.post.ever.
     
    Birthday bash!
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  10. Courtney

    Courtney Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2005
    Messages:
    294
    Location:
    Tampa Bay, FL
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    14
    Monday started with Breakfast at McDonalds. My breakfast was a large coffee. We still had 24 hours to kill, I was dehydrated, tired of eating, tired of drinking, had to poop, and was generally cranky. I FaceTimed back home and was passed around to my family, and that cheered me up. My logical husband told me to cut my losses, bring home my original bankroll and spend the rest of the day at the spa, napping, and packing. My fun husband told me to remember everything I lost was the casino’s money, and even if I came home broke, I only took what I could afford to lose, so to go kill the last day and enjoy. After 4 seconds of contemplation, I agreed with fun Husband. I told G to get ready, I was going on tilt. Armed with my Diamond card and my original bankroll, I sat down at a $10 BJ table. I played, and drank only water for a few hours. I took a break and we went to Casino Royale to split a personal pizza. G decided to nap, but I wasn’t ready to call it quits only being up a couple of hundred.

    Back to Harrah’s, I sat down at a Lightning Link machine. Vegas nights, if I recall. I put $1000 in, and decided I would play til gone, or until I felt like a winner. I sat there for FOUR DAMN HOURS. I had several great hits, and at 5pm, I had $2800 in that machine.

    G found me and dragged me away. I went up to take a crappy shower, got dressed and went across the street to see Terry Fator. We had seen him courtesy of MyVegas several years ago, and really liked it, so decided to take advantage of a BOGO offer on mirage site and purchased tickets. He was as entertaining as last time, and well worth the $45 each we paid with fees and taxes. After the show, we ate at Carnegie deli, and it was nothing exciting. Back at Harrah’s by 10pm, I gave Fortune88 one more try, and lost quite a bit before waving the white flag. Up to the room to pack, set the phone alarm, and was asleep by 11. Up at 4:30, uber to the airport and through security by 6:15, enough time to drink a coffee at BK, and get in line. My B11 got me an aisle seat in an empty row, and the pilot made the 4 hour 15 minute flight in three and a half. I slept for all but the last 20 minutes. My husband and kids were waiting at the curb for me, and I was home by 3:15, pooping by 3:17.

    It took me three full days to recover from the jet lag. Not sure if it’s my age, or the length of the trip, but I felt disconnected until Friday.

    All in all, I spent $46. Between uber, a McDonald’s coffee, a $13 bag of kettle corn two bus passes, and half a sandwich at the deli.

    I left home with $1700, and got off the plane with $2585.

    Flights were free via Southwest points, resort fees were waived due to Diamond status. Most food was free due to Total rewards visa and points.

    I still have an offer for 4 nights at MGM properties, with $50 FB and $75 FP. It expires in July. G is the only person I can do Vegas with, and she has no time off left before July. I contemplated taking a Husband, but neither gamble, and would annoy the snot out of me. I danced with the idea of a solo trip, but I’m too much of a degenerate, and would probably ending up selling myself on the strip before the end of the trip. So, for now, as much as it hurts, I’ll have to let that offer go. I’m sure another will come along. I went from zero tier credits to 5,883. I’m not sure what that means as far as coin in, but I’m guessing it’s a hell of a lot. Either way, it wasn’t even close enough to maintain my stolen Diamond status. It breaks my heart that I’ll lose that in Jan 2020.

    The emails from Harrah’s started as soon as I got home.

    Thanks for following along. Until next year!
     

    Attached Files:

    • Like Like x 16
    • Love Love x 4
  11. Astribling

    Astribling VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2017
    Messages:
    1,399
    Location:
    Indiana
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    13
    Okay, this! This made me truly laugh out loud? DH says, what? I say, you wouldn't understand!

    And yeah, taking him would annoy the snot out of me, which is why I mostly go on solo trips! Here's hoping I never get to that level of degen! :whistle:

    Thanks so much for your report. It truly brightened my day!
     
    Rudies Weekend, drinking, gambling, fun!
    • Funny Funny x 1
  12. Horseplayer1

    Horseplayer1 Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2017
    Messages:
    237
    Location:
    West Coast
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    14
    Best report ever. Hands down
     
    Next trip-Can't wait!
    • Love Love x 1
  13. Gino

    Gino "The King of Inappropriate."

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2009
    Messages:
    1,593
    Location:
    Tampa, FL.
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    23
    Great TR...

    The one on the right has some shitty ass (literally) implants.
     
    Caesars Atlantic City - Fireworks and Foolishness
    Back To Vegas
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  14. spicole

    spicole No shirt, no shoes... NO DICE!

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2012
    Messages:
    1,985
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    24
    Loved this trip report!
     
    Great Western Road Trip 2019!!!
  15. smerrian

    smerrian View from Bally's

    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2014
    Messages:
    3,636
    Location:
    South Jersey
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    50
    Such a fun read. Thanks so much.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Love Love x 1
  16. Texas Steph

    Texas Steph A Work in Progress...

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2016
    Messages:
    566
    Location:
    Houston, Tx
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    17
    Loved your fun (and funny) report!!!
     
    • Love Love x 1
  17. Geogran

    Geogran gamblin grandma

    Joined:
    May 1, 2014
    Messages:
    4,022
    Location:
    TX
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    51
    @Courtney Stop! My sides ache from laughing.
    What a terrific story teller you are.
    Forget the near sharts, this TR is a pee pee pants party. Love the slot pics too.
     
    • Love Love x 1
  18. WiBadgerbacker

    WiBadgerbacker Tourist

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2009
    Messages:
    87
    Location:
    Central Wisconsin
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    30
    That was a great trip report. I literally laughed out loud multiple times. Your honesty is refreshing.
     
    Daughter’s 21st Birthday
    • Like Like x 1
    • Love Love x 1
  19. rooster42000

    rooster42000 Patriots #1

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2012
    Messages:
    1,729
    Location:
    Miramar , Florida
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    50
    Nice report , great pics
     
    • Like Like x 1
  20. tdhoier

    tdhoier Big Time

    Joined:
    May 9, 2013
    Messages:
    938
    Location:
    VA
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    130
    Invite Kahlua, who's not black.
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
    • Like Like x 1