1. Welcome to VegasMessageBoard
    It appears you are visiting our community as a guest.
    In order to view full-size images, participate in discussions, vote in polls, etc, you will need to Log in or Register.

The 18th Annual Bleach and Botox Tour- L’Chaim!

Discussion in 'Vegas Trip Reports' started by Courtney, Mar 10, 2019.

  1. Courtney

    Courtney Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2005
    Messages:
    288
    Location:
    Tampa Bay, FL
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    14

    My Trip Report

    The 18th annual bleach and Botox tour started with a 10:30am flight out of Tampa on 2/28. I got to the gate twenty minutes before boarding, and since I was holding a B14 boarding pass, I asked about an upgrade. $50, and I could have A13. Even though I’d get reimbursed the $50 from the Southwest Visa card, they only allow four of those each year. I didn’t think it was worth wasting an upgrade for A13.


    I decided I’d just grab the first aisle seat with an empty window I saw. They announced there were 16 empty seats, so I prayed for an empty middle seat. Imagine my shock when I boarded and the exit row aisle was open. I was sure it was a mistake, and being held, but alas, a married couple was in the window and middle and it was open. Score. First win of the trip.


    The woman next to me had a blackhead in her ear the size of a dime. I am a picker, and find Dr. pimple popper to be soft porn, so I was fighting the urge the whole flight to pop it. I couldn’t stop looking at it!


    Somewhere around Albuquerque, I had pretty much convinced myself it would be okay to ask her if I could just pop it. I’m glad a level head prevailed, and I hope someone somewhere got to witness that mama jamma popping.


    The last time I flew, I was 90lbs heavier than I am today. What a difference. It was a five hour flight, and being thin now, matched with having an aisle in the exit row, I was downright comfortable. I watched three episodes of Shameless I had downloaded, ate my packed lunch, dozed for a bit, and before I knew it, we were making our descent. We actually made it in four and a half hours, but spent 15 minutes sitting on the tarmac waiting for the gate to clear.


    I grabbed my bag, and an Uber, and got to Harrah’s VIP check in at 1:30. Ginger was due to arrive at 4:30 from Philly, so I had a few hours to kill. Since I am a fake diamond member, I felt pretty fancy in the VIP check in. I also felt like a poser. I upgraded to Wyndham diamond from Hilton Gold, and CET matched the Wyndham, so I was a diamond member with zero tier credits.


    I was given a room in the Valley tower, all resort fees waived, and it was ready! I went upstairs, showered the plane funk off, unpacked what I could ( The rooms have three very small drawers, so I ended up living out of my luggage.)


    I headed downstairs, got my new diamond card, and put $100 into Fortunes 88,spun three times at $5.28, and hit a bonus. I was pretty happy to start the trip a winner, cashed out, went back to the room and tried to nap, with no luck, until G texted she was in an uber, and on her way.


    G arrived, she got as unpacked as she could, and it was around 5:30pm. We set out in search of food, and ended up at In-And-Out Burger at The Linq. I got contact highs at least three times on the walk over- I am amazed at how openly people smoke in public. At first, I thought there was a skunk problem on the strip, and then realized I was smelling weed, goddamn, I am old.


    After dinner, we played some more Fortune 88 in Linq. Seeing as how I was up quite a bit, I got brave, and started spinning for $8.80. It was a profitable decision, and by 8pm, I had hit a wall.


    We went to the room with plans of changing into nicer clothes, and heading to Carnaval Court, but, being 44, and on East Coast time has its disadvantages. I took a quick shower (by shower, I mean stood under the shower head while it slowly drooled water on me,) and by the time I got out, there was no way in hell I was putting clothes back on. I crawled into bed and that was the end of me. Ginger said she heard a huge boom around 9pm, and tried to wake me, as we had a view of The Mirage volcano, but I was dead to the world. The next thing I knew, I was awake, bright eyed, and ready to rock after a very restful night sleep. I rolled over to check the time: 3:47am. Damn it.


    Day two up next.

    74A1E455-B5E7-47CA-B7B2-9B5E0B473D2E.jpeg ACDA0381-6EE1-49AE-9A73-E76269081CE9.jpeg 4A8EA769-3C86-4E67-8CC5-19E518106D10.jpeg A2151F3E-4C1A-43DF-ADAD-22B3EE0F3851.jpeg
     
    • Like Like x 15
    • Funny Funny x 3
  2. Flowers

    Flowers VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2014
    Messages:
    2,438
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    30
    Loving your report so far. Congratulations on the AMAZING weight loss! I was down about 42 but gained 7 back with stress eating and now I am trying to take that 7 back off and another 7 or so so I know how hard it can be and you lost more than twice what I did! Congratulatioms again and on a great start to your trip!

    I take it from the trip title that you are getting botox and your hair colored while in Vegas? Love it. I get a facial every trip so it averages about 4 a year.
     
    Special Moments Galore with Mom and Friends in the Place We Adore
    Celebrating our Nation's Birth While Winning Mega More at Encore!
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
  3. Jer

    Jer VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2002
    Messages:
    4,673
    Location:
    San Diego
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    53
    I’ve been wondering when the next installment would appear! Have fun and hopefully it was a bunch of highly lucrative decisions! Congrats on the weight loss, I’m a third of the way there and hope to hit that number myself!
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
  4. M0rtyC

    M0rtyC TBD

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2012
    Messages:
    846
    Location:
    North Shore Massachusetts
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    25
    Great start. I feel your east coast time adjustment. I’m usually at breakfast by 4 am first morning in town.
     
    NCAA Basketball
    • Agree Agree x 1
  5. Courtney

    Courtney Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2005
    Messages:
    288
    Location:
    Tampa Bay, FL
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    14
    I forced myself to go back to sleep, and when I woke again, it was a respectable 4:12. I knew I was done for, so I got dressed and headed downstairs. I grabbed a large coffee from Fulton Street, and went back to Fortune 88. At this point, I was high rolling, $8.80 a spin. I hit a lot of great spins, and by the time I headed upstairs around 6, I was up almost a grand for the morning. Ginger roused and slowly got ready, while I took another awful shower, and prepared myself for the day. We left the room around 8:30, and started the walk to The Peppermill. We turned around once we got to The Venetian, because I remembered the box offices for CET opened at 10am. Since it was the first day of the month, I wanted to see if we could get my free Diamond Mat Franco tixs for Saturday night. We arrived back at Harrah’s, and got in line. I was the 9th person in line and got the last two Mat Franco tickets for the Saturday night show. The agent said they only do one row of free diamond tickets per show, so I was pretty excited. We finally headed back out towards peppermill, arriving around 11, and there was an hour wait. In all the trips, we’d never eaten there, so we decided to wait it out. I’m not sure what I’m missing, but it was mediocre at best. We shared eggs, bacon, French toast, and had some mimosa’s, but weren’t impressed. Yeah, the ambience was cheeky, and we did check out the lounge, but I certainly didn’t think it lived up to the hype.


    After breakfast, we went across the street to Circus Circus. This place is disgusting, but we stop each year. We love to play carnival games for a bit. It was after 2 by the time we were done, so we hopped on the deuce outside slots of fun, and made the slow crawl back to Harrah’s. I started talking to a gentleman on the bus who was built like a brick shit house. I asked if he was a dancer, and he was. I got to know him well enough evidently, as he offered to put me on his guest list for his show that night. I’d never seen the show, so said sure. What a mistake!


    Back to Harrah’s by 3, we stopped at Chipotle, and on the way out, I saw HIM. THE one. I was in love instantly. He was with his lesbian Moms, and I was SMITTEN. His name is Tito, and he was six weeks old. I spent far too long kissing, snuggling and fawning over him. His Moms surely think I’m insane, by the amount of love I showered on him, but I couldn’t get enough of him and his puppy breath!

    I finally was able to say goodbye to my forever love, and we went inside, stopping at Goonies. I quickly hit two bonuses, and cashed up over $500.


    We went to the room, napped, and got dressed around 7. We headed to dinner at Nacho Daddy, shared the most ridiculously tasty steak nachos, and walked to NYNY to see my new dancer friend in his show- Zumanity.


    Imagine if you will, meeting a group of people. Imagine within 10 minutes of meeting them, you are placed in small dark room together. Then someone puts on porn. That’s how awkward this show was. Watching porn with strangers awkward. Now, let me be honest here. I am a modern day polygamist. I have two husbands. Well, one legal Husband, and one Husband in our eyes only. I am also a swinger. Suffice it to say, I am NO prude. I am sex positive, and very open. But this show was just weird. I channeled my inner Grandma, and walked out. Poor dancer friend was probably hoping to meet up after the show, but even watching him fly half naked from a metal bar wasn’t enough to make me sit through another minute of that dreck. We got up, and out, and walked back towards home base feeling grossed out, and damn happy it was free. We stopped in the gift shop, bought a Six pack, and drank it in the room while watching NCIS re-runs. Oh Vegas, I used to be young and fun.


    Again, I temporarily died, and when I woke up sure it had to be after 9, it was only 4:30. This proved to be the tone for the remainder of the trip.


    Day three coming tomorrow. Fu baby love, Planet Hollywood, naps, Mat Franco and a $78 piece of meat.
     

    Attached Files:

    • Like Like x 10
    • Funny Funny x 3
    • Wow! Wow! x 1
  6. Flowers

    Flowers VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2014
    Messages:
    2,438
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    30
    Loving all of the slot wins!
     
    Special Moments Galore with Mom and Friends in the Place We Adore
    Celebrating our Nation's Birth While Winning Mega More at Encore!
  7. FullPay

    FullPay When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2008
    Messages:
    2,557
    Location:
    Derby City, Kentucky
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    110
    And so this is a page turner...
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
  8. 93 Octane

    93 Octane Chief bottle washer

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2016
    Messages:
    2,395
    Location:
    Mississippi
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    37
    Finally after three years on the site someone else admits to hitting up Chipotle beside Harrahs. It's my go to.

    Cheers and may your luck continue
     
    Sweet 16 and Golden Nugget poker
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  9. Johnzimbo

    Johnzimbo VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2010
    Messages:
    1,196
    Location:
    DFW
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    100
    So the bleach was used to clean up Circus Circus. What is the botox for??????
     
    • Funny Funny x 6
  10. Vegasworm

    Vegasworm Finger Clicker Extraordinaire

    Joined:
    May 5, 2014
    Messages:
    1,077
    Location:
    Colorado
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    14
    Cool report so far and great slot wins!

    Vegasworm
     
    20th Wedding Anniversary Trip with V!
    Paul McCartney Concert and 20th Anniversary Celebration!!!
    • Agree Agree x 1
  11. breanna61

    breanna61 Super Moderator

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2008
    Messages:
    8,921
    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    112
    Looking forward to the next instalment.
     
    Pink Concert Trip
  12. smerrian

    smerrian View from Bally's

    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2014
    Messages:
    3,153
    Location:
    South Jersey
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    50
    Love the trip report. Thanks for sharing.
     
    2 weeks in several hotels
    my favorite beds in LV
  13. VegasGroove

    VegasGroove VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2009
    Messages:
    2,270
    Location:
    3H-30M Away
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    54
    The puppy - a Jack Russell?

    Soooooo cute!
     
  14. Courtney

    Courtney Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2005
    Messages:
    288
    Location:
    Tampa Bay, FL
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    14
    He’s a pugle. He was still learning how to use his little legs,so looked like a muppet when he walked.
     
    • Love Love x 4
  15. Courtney

    Courtney Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2005
    Messages:
    288
    Location:
    Tampa Bay, FL
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    14
    Hah. Explained in next post.
     
  16. Courtney

    Courtney Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2005
    Messages:
    288
    Location:
    Tampa Bay, FL
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    14
    To clarify- Bleach and Botox comes from an old story. When we were house hunting, we chose the neighborhood we bought in because the schools are top notch. I live in Stepford. I am the Sesame Street song ‘Which one of these kids is not like the other.’

    I was obese, swear, drink, smoke, have two Husbands, and would rather die than join a book club. I suggested to my Husbands that if I had bleach and Botox, I’d fit in.

    Saturday:

    I didn’t even try to go back to sleep, so I went down to Fulton Street for a large coffee, and sat down at my personal ATM. I got plenty of bonuses- also played Hot Hearts for a while- the machine I call “The Orgasm.” It makes all sorts of moaning noises, and I was having Zumanity flashbacks.


    I woke at G up around 6:30, and after getting ready, we had breakfast at the Harrah’s buffet. We had reservations at MAG, but it was raining, and cold, so we decided to stay close. Reward Credits more than covered it, and we took our time. G was not feeling well, so we headed back to the room with plans to rest for an hour. Those plans ended up with us being woken by housekeeping pounding on the door. We told her to come back later, and the next knock was from security trying to open the door. I jumped up nude, informed the guard nothing other than sleeping was going on, and went back to sleep. When my phone rang and woke me for good, it was 3:30! That was a hell of a nap.


    We dragged our asses to Planet Hollywood, stopping at Cromwell for some quick Sex and The City slots. I found the machine at PHO I was looking for (.25 pinball.) After spending the first two days with huge hits on F88, 10 credit quarter wins was boring. I am forever ruined.


    We made our way back to Harrah’s, with stops at Paris, Bally’s, and The Linq. We passed Harrah’s, and went into Casino Royale, where I found a $5 freebet blackjack table.


    Backstory with TMI: I have a shy colon. I have trouble pooping anywhere but home. It’s been this way since I was a child, and it’s just something I’ve come to live with. I once went an entire 7 day cruise without pooping, and was miserable. So I now travel with teabags of a miracle brew called “Smooth move.” One cup of this delicious brew, and home or not, I’m at its mercy.


    I had started to feel uncomfortable before we left for PHO, so I brewed some hot water in the room and chugged it, figuring by morning I’d be relieved.


    Well.....


    So I sat at the $5 table and started to play. G decided to head back to the room, and I told her I’d be along shortly. My bagel with lox and onion was giving me onion breath, so I found a piece of gum in my purse and started chewing. Halfway through a shoe, I felt a sneeze building.


    What happens next is a story that will be told and re-told by my fellow blackjack players.


    I sneezed. Violently. Only it wasn’t a sneeze. It was a sneeze that sent every single muscle in my body into overdrive. Long story short, in one fluid motion, I sneezed, spit my gum onto the felt, and shot the most painful, sharp fart. I followed it up with an audible “Owww!”


    Time stood still. The gum sat close to the dealer like a dead squirrel. All eyes were on me, like they expected me to explain what just happened. There was no coming back from it, so I just said “Well, THAT was fun.” I reached over, picked up the gum, and placed a new bet. I colored up after that, and shamefully cashed in at the cashier.


    Up to the room, and the tea finished what it came for. I felt like a million bucks, and just hoped the security footage didn’t end up on YouTube.


    We prepped for the evening and went to Ruth’s Chris for a 7:15 reservation that I made at 6:45. I had the $100 celebration dinner for my stolen valor Diamond status. We were seated immediately, shared a $78 filet, each had a salad, and a side. We also got a free delicious strawberry cheesecake since we lied and said it was G’s birthday. We keep it classy.


    Even with the $100 credit, the bill and tip was $60. It was worth every penny, without a doubt, the best piece of meat ever to enter my mouth. (Insert that’s what she said..)



    We headed over to Linq for the 9:30 Mat Franco show. He was great. He has a great cadence, an adorable personality, is quite talented, and is cute as a button. We both loved the show, and there’s really not a bad seat. Five star recommendation from me.


    I found a new slot at Linq, can’t recall the name, maybe bubblegum? It was basically a gum ball machine- loud as hell and very fun. Next time you’re in the place, find it! It’s behind the table games on the walkway through Linq, across from the gift shop.


    Back to Harrah’s after a stop in Carnaval Court, where it seemed to be a weed party, I was nauseated from all the smoke.


    Saturday night in Vegas, and we were both asleep before 1am.


    I had a brutal day slot wise, and had lost almost everything I had won thus far.


    Next up: Sunday. Ready to go home, but still have two whole days left. Downtown, Henderson Mexican food, hot tubbing, and an indecent proposal.
     

    Attached Files:

    • Funny Funny x 13
    • Like Like x 4
    • Wow! Wow! x 1
  17. smerrian

    smerrian View from Bally's

    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2014
    Messages:
    3,153
    Location:
    South Jersey
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    50
    Sounds like you're really packing a lot into this trip. Good for you. Better luck on the gambling side.
    I can relate to a lot of what you've commented on: I had sleeve gastric surgery and lost 90 lbs. Where I used to ask for an 'extender' for the seat belt on an airplane and hope that I would be able to pull down the tray table and not get stuck on my stomach, now I can just pull the seat belt tight and have inches to spare to the tray table. I love Harrah's...life at 60, ha ha. It takes me 2-3 days to become 'regular' when I travel. Kishkas just won't cooperate at first...I know your pain. David Sedaris writes about the same problem in some of his short stories. (Greek camp where they pack this dense Greek food into you 3x/day is hilarious.) Not TMI as it's a fairly common problem...just not spoken about.
    Oh, love your avatar.
     
    2 weeks in several hotels
    my favorite beds in LV
    • Agree Agree x 1
  18. Emerson

    Emerson Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2018
    Messages:
    410
    Location:
    Windsor, Ontario Canada
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    9
    Missed you guys Saturday maybe next time. I was drunk out of my mind at the Paris DL.
     
    Wedding Date is Oct 19, 2019
    • Funny Funny x 1
  19. Courtney

    Courtney Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2005
    Messages:
    288
    Location:
    Tampa Bay, FL
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    14
    I debated surgery, too. But, alcohol is my friend, and giving it up was not an option. So, I sweat, fought and struggled every single day for over two years. But, now I can put my tray table down AND drink! Congrats on your weight loss as well. Flying fat really sucked.

    Eh. Nothing materialized anyway. All plan go out the window once feet are on the ground.
     
    • Like Like x 4
  20. bdautch

    bdautch VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2013
    Messages:
    1,128
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    24
    Why this isn't the official motto of VMB I'll never know.
     
    • Funny Funny x 14
    • Agree Agree x 1