paulant
Guest
Yahoo!
Finally we're down to single digits. This trip will be two couples, myself and
spousal unit (AKA The Lead-Footed Nurse), and our friends Mike and Marian.
As Mike says: "How can anyone possibly ever be bored in Las Vegas"
Here's the Opening Day report, as I envision it (can you tell I'm bored, and
want to be there already?)
1015 Depart Mike 'n Marians house for Portland airport
1035 Stop at rest area to get rid of coffee consumed earlier
1115 Stop at next rest area to get rid of coffee consumed earlier
1200 Arrive PDX long term parking note to self: leave terrorist weapons (cigarette lighters) in car
1215 baggage check-in, display tix/drivers license. Explain how Abdul had your luggage overnight for safekeeping
1230 get in security checkpoint line
1231 display tix/drivers license to security personal
1235 line inches forward
1236 display tix/drivers license to next security person
1240 line inches forward
1241 sign Bush administration loyalty oath
1245 line leaps forward
1246 display tix/drivers license to next security person
1250 reach metal detector-remove all clothing, including false teeth. Prove to security personal that Fixodent used for teeth is *not* in fact C4
1251 turn on every single electronic item in carryon. AS long as computer is on, send threatening email to head of TSA. Repack bag, get dressed
1259 reach boarding area-display tix/drivers license to airline personnel
1301 board plane-display tix/drivers license to Airline Pilots Union rep
1315 push back from gate....restart engines..answer pilot's question: "Does anyone know what this thingie does?"
1321 liftoff...ask flight attendant what time plane lands in Orlando
1325 throttle brat in row behind you who is screaming while kicking your seat
1400 attempt to nap between pilot's scenery announcements
1520 Administer antidote to brat in row behind you
1525 circle airport, waiting for Bill Clinton to finish haircut
1530 1st touch 'n go landing
1531 2nd touch 'n go landing
1532 land, bounce up to airport gate
1540 search airport for lost luggage...find luggage on inbound flight from Beijing
1545 Shuttle to Thrifty Car Rental. Discover that being a Blue Chip member means that you're entitled to a free upgrade to 1972 Pinto
1546 put out Pinto gas tank fire
1600 Arrive Mirage, get in check-in line
1620 check in line inches forward, as clerks return from all day "serving the customer" seminar
1659 reach registration desk. Smile and ask for room with a view, and smile again as friendly clerk gives you a wink and a room key.
1710 Discover that clerk's idea of a view is the air conditioner on the roof. Smile again
1715 Unpack
1725 (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) "break in" the room
1726 head for Mirage pool, find white tigers having tasty dolphin snack. Too crowded to hope for any drink service.
1730 Arrive Margaritaville, order mass quantities of Jimmy Buffet (tm) brand anesthesia
1800 Visit casino. discover inventive way to lose money
2100 Head for bed....nothing more important than a good night's sleep in Vegas
--->Paul in Oregon
Finally we're down to single digits. This trip will be two couples, myself and
spousal unit (AKA The Lead-Footed Nurse), and our friends Mike and Marian.
As Mike says: "How can anyone possibly ever be bored in Las Vegas"
Here's the Opening Day report, as I envision it (can you tell I'm bored, and
want to be there already?)
1015 Depart Mike 'n Marians house for Portland airport
1035 Stop at rest area to get rid of coffee consumed earlier
1115 Stop at next rest area to get rid of coffee consumed earlier
1200 Arrive PDX long term parking note to self: leave terrorist weapons (cigarette lighters) in car
1215 baggage check-in, display tix/drivers license. Explain how Abdul had your luggage overnight for safekeeping
1230 get in security checkpoint line
1231 display tix/drivers license to security personal
1235 line inches forward
1236 display tix/drivers license to next security person
1240 line inches forward
1241 sign Bush administration loyalty oath
1245 line leaps forward
1246 display tix/drivers license to next security person
1250 reach metal detector-remove all clothing, including false teeth. Prove to security personal that Fixodent used for teeth is *not* in fact C4
1251 turn on every single electronic item in carryon. AS long as computer is on, send threatening email to head of TSA. Repack bag, get dressed
1259 reach boarding area-display tix/drivers license to airline personnel
1301 board plane-display tix/drivers license to Airline Pilots Union rep
1315 push back from gate....restart engines..answer pilot's question: "Does anyone know what this thingie does?"
1321 liftoff...ask flight attendant what time plane lands in Orlando
1325 throttle brat in row behind you who is screaming while kicking your seat
1400 attempt to nap between pilot's scenery announcements
1520 Administer antidote to brat in row behind you
1525 circle airport, waiting for Bill Clinton to finish haircut
1530 1st touch 'n go landing
1531 2nd touch 'n go landing
1532 land, bounce up to airport gate
1540 search airport for lost luggage...find luggage on inbound flight from Beijing
1545 Shuttle to Thrifty Car Rental. Discover that being a Blue Chip member means that you're entitled to a free upgrade to 1972 Pinto
1546 put out Pinto gas tank fire
1600 Arrive Mirage, get in check-in line
1620 check in line inches forward, as clerks return from all day "serving the customer" seminar
1659 reach registration desk. Smile and ask for room with a view, and smile again as friendly clerk gives you a wink and a room key.
1710 Discover that clerk's idea of a view is the air conditioner on the roof. Smile again
1715 Unpack
1725 (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) "break in" the room
1726 head for Mirage pool, find white tigers having tasty dolphin snack. Too crowded to hope for any drink service.
1730 Arrive Margaritaville, order mass quantities of Jimmy Buffet (tm) brand anesthesia
1800 Visit casino. discover inventive way to lose money
2100 Head for bed....nothing more important than a good night's sleep in Vegas
--->Paul in Oregon
