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Sentir Mon Doigt: or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Midget Strippers

Discussion in 'Vegas Trip Reports' started by Crawfordesquire, Sep 5, 2018.

  1. bshowell

    bshowell VIP Whale

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    I'm already incredibly amused. I like your style!
     
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  2. alpo

    alpo Tourist

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    Great TR so far. Fellow North Carolinian checking in. The Mrs. and I are heading to Las Vegas tomorrow. Safe travels, and keep the hits coming.
     
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  3. DiamondJim21

    DiamondJim21 Low-Roller

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    Hope you have a great trip! Looking forward to your report.
     
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  4. TrewBrew

    TrewBrew High-Roller

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    I am kind of disappointed that your avatar is not a picture of you. I have been reading your post with an old southern mans voice.

    Best of luck.

    I will still use the voice when I read it
     
    Taking the boys and their wives to Vegas
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  5. UKFanatic

    UKFanatic The Arbiter of Taste Caviar Kid

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    Hope you all and the deer are all ok
     
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  6. bridude98

    bridude98 Tourist

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    I do the valium thing, too. Years ago, it took me awhile to get the nerve to ask the doctor for it. But when I did, he said don't worry about it....he writes that script several times a week so people can fly.

    "I ain't gettin' on no plane, Hannibal!"
     
    Group trip!
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  7. Sonya

    Sonya Queen of VMB

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    Valium makes me :snore:. I'm more of a xanax and vodka tonic before getting on the plane type. Then I put on the noise cancelling headphones with my Vegas playlist, pretend to read a book and silently say tick tock tick tock to myself until I can get off that horrible flying tube of humanity.
     
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  8. Crawfordesquire

    Crawfordesquire Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2011
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    Location:
    north carolina
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    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
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  9. breanna61

    breanna61 Super Moderator

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    Well you are the complete opposite of your profile pic.....we've been reverse cat-fished lol.

    Looking forward to following your adventures!! Hoping B becomes a Vegas convert.
     
    • Agree Agree x 4
  10. luridludicloco

    luridludicloco Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2016
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    too darn far from the Strip
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    Your avatar reminds me of Kathy Bates, but your photo of Michael Keaton. Thanks for the fun read, good luck in Vegas.
     
  11. Crawfordesquire

    Crawfordesquire Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2011
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    north carolina
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    Outstanding start to a first day!
    Arrived about 10 minutes early on an uneventful flight, sat next to a nice gentleman who I may meet up to gamble with tomorrow morning.
    Lyft was interesting. I had put in the app for us to stop at the ‘Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas’ sign before drop-off at the Four Seasons. The driver admitted that she was new to town and driving for Lyft. She went some crazy way on the 15 as opposed to just Tropicana. Odd, but the fare was not affected. Upon arriving at the sign, we noticed there was a healthy line of people and it was obvious that it was based on a few trying to run their take your picture for a fee scam. Along with another nice couple who happened to be from Wales, we bypassed that BS and took pictures for one another.
    [​IMG]
    Next it was off to the Four Seasons. We retained our bags as I just wanted to see what the front desk had available, as I had a feeling they had a decent amount of available rooms, despite the 10:45 am time.
    Check in was efficient and the gentleman Kyle was great. He acknowledged our anniversary and offered us some high priced upgrades. I told him bluntly if he could offer something complementary I’d take care of him. Kyle is a capitalist like myself. $20 later and we’re upgraded to a strip view room, which was immediately available for check-in. Score one for the good guys. Kyle also acknowledged our anniversary which was quite kind of him. Also, they had my package of wine. No apparent heat damage.
    [​IMG]
    Off to the room. Awesome view north bound of the strip. We are far off away enough from the elevator to give a solid view. King bed, spacious bathroom. It’ll work. Here is the daytime view.
    [​IMG]
    B and I were pretty hungry so we decided to venture somewhat down the strip to Shake Shack. We both had never had it before. We trekked over on foot through Mandalay Place and got on the Tram to Excalibur. While there I did a little quick hit and run roulette action (2 columns and black, $25 per) and won an easy $50. schwing!
    [​IMG]
    Off to shake shack. Between the two of us, two double burgers, 1 fry, and some H20. $25 or so, but hey it’s vacation. And we were both quite happy with the food! I am a salt fiend and I found the burger to be quite salty, but for me that’s a positive.
    [​IMG]
    Next was a small detour into NYNY. Did my single roll hit n run roulette BS and won another $50. schwing! B and I then went into the Hershey store to scout out souvenir’s for youngest child (my step-son). Some cool stuff in there.
    Finally, back to Mandalay via the Tram. We went back up to room to change for the pool, only to find that the front desk had sent up some bubbles, chocolate covered strawberries, and a signed card acknowledging our anniversary. Nice touch. [​IMG]
    Down to the pool we went. We diverted temporarily as I went to spa to check in on the wife’s spa reservation for tomorrow and then went to concierge to order her room-service breakfast for tomorrow (fri) morning.
    B was wearing a skimpier bathing suit (thong) and I arrived to see her lying down face down, ass up . I wasn’t complaining. I was standing within ear shot of her and a few of the typical 60 year old women that still think they ‘got it’ (but really don’t) and announced, ‘that looks like my wife’s ass!’ I made my wife laugh of course, but I took more pleasure in seeing the eye rolls (despite the probable botox/eyebrow lifts) of the 60 year old women.
    She ordered a cocktail (dr. feelgood) which is shown below along with the menu.
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    After sufficient vitamin D and premature aging, we then departed to the spa to use the eucalyptus steam room (separate facilities for those who identify as men and women).
    We then retreated back to room and got ready to head out. Dinner was to be at the Veranda bar. Earlier in the afternoon I brought down one of the bottles of wine I brought to the bar which we would have with dinner. Also I bet my $100 roulette winnings on the ATL/philly over. So dinner would consume of enjoying the wine and hopefully seeing me win my bet. 1 out of 2 ain’t bad :)
    Another picture of the wife. I am lucky AF.
    [​IMG]
    Veranda bar seems to always be quiet. They obviously don’t bring much traffic in off the street, so all their business is really in house but mostly conventioneer/business meeting people. This makes for a quieter bar which is fine by us.
    The bartender Tom was a nice gentleman and we had a great time talking football and life.
    In terms of food and beverage:
    [​IMG]
    B had some girly bullshit lemon drink and I had a mule. These were happy hour $7 drinks. Mine was adequate. I crossed my legs and tried some of hers and thought it was effeminately super.
    [​IMG]
    This was also a $7 happy hour item, a shrimp with some semi-spicy sauce. Pretty solid, shrimp were fresh.
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    I then ordered a happy hour pizza/ ‘flatbread’ (i hate that word. if it’s carbs, cheese, and sauce, call it pizza) B had a beet salad (non happy hour). She loves beets. She enjoyed the dish. The pizza was great, the price was right. So much so that I ordered another, while she got a tuna sampler (non happy-hour)
    [​IMG]
    As far as the wine, it was awesome. [​IMG]
    The picture didn’t come out so hot, but yea great wine. It’s a small production winery from a friend of mine who I actually worked for a few years back as an intern for harvest. That wine we drank I think I (helped) bottle. It’s a 2014 pinot from rita’s crown in Santa Barbara.
    Football bet was a loss, so for the day I was even in terms of gambling. Having been on east coast time and up since 330, we pussied out at the end of the game and went back to the room....
    to go to sleep. losers we are. I claimed to be a tough guy who didn’t sleep much right?! yea I suck.
    More to come. sante
     
    Last edited: Sep 7, 2018
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  12. Crawfordesquire

    Crawfordesquire Low-Roller

    Joined:
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    In my Brent Musberger voice...You are looking LIVE at the Mirage sports book
    [​IMG]

    Here checking the college and nfl lines.
    got this in for this afternoon
    [​IMG]
    I apologize for the phallic lighting
     
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  13. Crawfordesquire

    Crawfordesquire Low-Roller

    Joined:
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    north carolina
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    This morning we got up early 5 am (8am east coast time) and I departed to gamble while the wife remained in bed to watch/laugh at some law and order SVU (or SUV as I call it)
    I was off to the cromwell via lyft. arranged for a shared ride as I wasn’t in a rush and I like to be social but I ended up just riding solo. $6.16 and I am at the Cromwell for craps.
    [​IMG]
    This did not work out well. I bet darkside and lost about $260. Game was just going slow and two guys were consistently arguing with dealers and pitt boss. Really off-putting and slowed the game down. I left on foot to TI for some blackjack.
    Navigating through the casino, I was attempting to find their $25 game with ‘liberal’ rules, relatively speaking of course. Unintentionally I walked into back of the HL room and realized here was my game. I buy in for $400. Double deck, dealer stands on soft 17. No re-split aces unfortunately but DAS. betting mostly at $25, up $125 after two shoes. No real eventful hands, just a few blackjack and solid play. I saw a gentleman enter the high limit who was wearing a single black glove Michael Jackson-style and wearing a Fernando Valenzuela jersey. I half joked to the dealer that ‘if he joined the table that I was leaving because I can’t play blackjack with a guy wearing a single glove.’ She half-laughed and of course, Single Glove sat down at the table. The shoe ended, and I moved to the six deck game. Have at it Single Glove!
    Joining the six deck game with $525. I proceed to get raped in the face. Just the type of game that
    makes us BJ players shrivel up like we went into a cold body of water. Down $325, I return like the prodigal son back to the Double Deck table hat in hand to rejoin Single Glove, who is now joined by his far better half.
    This game doesn’t go much better than the previous. Just no monster hands and I am losing double downs like crazy. SG isn’t exhibiting perfect BS, but nothing too egregious. I am felted and dejected, but I hold my head high like a man and curse Single Glove behind his back (of course).
    While I am getting beat up like an extra from the movie Road House (one of my favorites, of course), B is enjoying the room service which she took a picture of and sent to me to share with you all:
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    Avocado toast with poached eggs and fruit. And the WSJ because she’s cultured. sante
     
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  14. Crawfordesquire

    Crawfordesquire Low-Roller

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    @alpo pm me please if you want to meet for an adult beverage.
     
    Last edited: Sep 7, 2018
  15. Mike G

    Mike G Tourist

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    Philadelphia
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    Loving the trip report! Great pictures, informative and funny.
    Thanks for sharing!!!
     
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  16. Crawfordesquire

    Crawfordesquire Low-Roller

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    the wife doesn’t let me fly with xanax. has a viagra like effect for me plus an obnoxious case of the giggles.
     
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  17. Crawfordesquire

    Crawfordesquire Low-Roller

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    michael keaton eh? mary tyler moore michael keaton or batman michael keaton? or worse, beetlejuice?
     
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  18. Crawfordesquire

    Crawfordesquire Low-Roller

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    Location:
    north carolina
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    some extra photos:
    Luxor
    [​IMG]
    NYNY
    [​IMG]
    Mirage x2
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
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  19. RedChip

    RedChip High-Roller

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2017
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    Belmont, CA
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    Great active TR. Looks like fun times. Good luck!
     
    Solo trip. 3 nights Downtown.
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  20. jamesxnj

    jamesxnj VIP Whale

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    Didn't the under bet win last night for you?
     
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