October golf/football trip

I started this last night...I was just going to fire off the condensed version... what a joke...hahaha

Day 1 Thursday.......everyone meets at my house after work, and we are on the road as planned by 6:00pm. Also as planned, we arrived at the Las Vegas Club by 11:30. Excellent. There are 9 of us checking into 4 rooms. Of course during check-in I have to yell across the lobby, “Good news Tom and Larry, they still have one room left with a heart shaped bed for you!”

Everyone gets settled in, beers are cracked, and we head across the FSE to the Golden Gate for some shrimp cocktails.... aaahhhh... now, I’m in Vegas.

Most of the golfers head off to bed, enduring much derision from the two non-golfers who will not see a bed for several hours.

Day 2 Friday......I’m in one of the rooms with 3 guys (two beds + a roll-away).... the one non-golfer stumbles in around 4:30, hammers both light switches, and yells, “I’m HOT!!”. A-hole. One hour later my alarm goes off, and I return the favor. Getting up before sunrise sucks, but there’s golf to be played, dammit. We grab the breakfast special in the restaurant upstairs and hit the road to The Legacy for 36 holes of Championship golf. I won’t bore you non-golfers with a lot of detail. The highlight was our 10th guy (8th golfer) taking a taxi from the airport directly to the course and catching us in time for the second round. Outstanding effort. After many screwdrivers, and God knows how many beers, we are done golfing for the day.

We grab a shower, and off to dinner with everyone in the traditional Friday night location, the buffet at Mainstreet Station. We decide to forego “entertainment” for this evening, and do some gambling instead. Nothing noteworthy....just some blackjack and craps at LVC and Binions. Gotta get up early again, so we don’t want to stay out too late.

Day 3 Saturday.....Dan is not amused when my alarm goes off for the second morning in a row at 5:30am....between grumbles I make something out about not rooming with golfers next year. Wuss. Breakfast at the usual location, and we’re on the road by 6:30 to Angel Park. We play the Mountain course in the morning (also known as the screwdriver course), and play the Palms Course in the afternoon (the beer course). We drink Way too much, and have to hang out and eat something so Eric and I can sober up. This is where I find out my UCLA Bruins almost pulled off the win against Oregon....almost. Damn. We played two games every match....skins between all 8 of us (low score wins the cash for that hole), and high number of putts has to buy drinks at the end of the day. The golfing highlight for the day is that I nearly pulled off the dubious honor of having low score (86), and high # of putts (40)...almost impossible to do. Luckily someone else had even more putts than I did, and I was saved.

We get back to the rooms, shower, get the two non-golfers, and head to the steakhouse at the back of Binions....can’t remember what it’s called. Food is ok....it’ll do, now let’s get on with it! Half the guys go to “Splash” at the Riviera.....you don’t even want to hear the smack that was flying.... the rest of us head off to Club Paradise in our quest to make sure there is not a strip club in town we like better than Cheetah’s. Club P (as the cabbie called it) is very nice. It really is a Gentlemen’s Club. Big, Clean, and Classy....great lighting, comfortable seating, and of course, lots of beautiful women.. all good. That being said, we all agreed that for us, Cheetah’s still ruled. Cheetah’s is definitely more...”hand friendly”. Believe it or not, the highlight (for me anyway) was the Masseuse selling neck and shoulder massages instead of lap dances.....that was Awesome. Later someone remarked that getting that and a lap dance at the same time could be mind altering. Two hours later as we are leaving, the guys are coming in from Splash...I guess some of the things we were saying weren’t true afterall.

Day 4 Sunday......we get to sleep in, as we are only playing 18 today, and don’t tee off until 10:00. Don’t have to roll out until the crack of 7:30. Outstanding. Grab the breakfast special at Golden Gate (it’s not exactly the Paris breakfast buffet, but it’ll have to do), and hit the road to Paiute, which is about 30 minutes north. My buddy and I played here this summer, and it is nothing short of spectacular. Far away from anything, you definitely out in nature. Everyone loves it. We play Snow Mountain, the third course, which Mark and I did not get to play in July. Gotta love Pete Dye. The wind is blowing about 20mph when we get there, and the guy at the counter is taunting us, because it’s always windy there, and by the way, the greens are hard and fast. At the range I am wondering how much fun it will be to play in this wind. By the end of the first hole, I realize the wind has stopped completely....It’s a perfect, spectacular Fall day in the Mojave. Bitchin’. Highlights: walking off a green to see a road runner sitting on top of my driver, and sending a constant stream of screwdrivers up to our buddies in front of us, dropping a ball ten feet from the green while they are putting by cutting the corner on a sharp dogleg . Great day of golf. Props to EZLinks.com for getting us half price green fees... can’t recommend them highly enough. After the round we grab a late lunch in the spectacular dining room / bar which has a glass wall that overlooks the 18th hole of the Snow Mountain course and the mountains behind. The food was really great, and we had a really great waitress who was a lot of fun. I also got to absorb a lot of pain as my Raiders get punked by the Rams. The RAMS!! Dammit. We also spotted the A-hole bartender who recommended Crazy Horse II to us in July... man I hate that guy. I digress....

Back to homebase for showers, and we head over to the Triple 7 Brew Pub at MSS to eat, drink, and watch the late game....I think we got there at half time. Had a really great waitress who had fun with us. We ordered a bucket of shrimp (peel your own...no thanks...too much work), some kind of sampler platter, hot wings, and California rolls. Outstanding. Within about 20 minutes I am convincing the woman down the table from us to trade us some of her food for some California roll....she (and her husband and their friend) is from Texas, and is not about to eat raw fish....after much explanation, cajoling, (flirting), and laughing in general about people from Texas and people from California, she gives in and has some. She pretended not to like it. What fun. Highlight: My buddy pulling the “What the hell is THAT?!”....and then slamming my entire fresh beer when I turn around. What a dick. Hahahahaa

We are sufficiently lubricated, and four of us decide this would be a fine time to take a cab to NYNY, and have a few pops at the bar across from the piano bar....they have a very cool section outside the bar where there is a walkup / outer bar. We go there and start ordering the traditional NYNY rounds..... shots of Patron Silver (very good tequila) with drafts of ice cold Sierra Nevada. Outstanding. We stand there and watch the constant stream of people walking by. Very entertaining. Highlight: two guys from the restaurant next door walk by with an empty wire bread cart... “someone” yells out “Nice RACK!!”....all the drunks think it’s funny as hell.

Apparently the 20 or so drinks during the day, plus the four or five watching the game, are not sitting well with six rounds of tequila / Sierra Nevada for my boy Mark. He has clearly crossed over to the dark side. Time to go. We decide to get some air on the crosswalk between NYNY and MGM.....somehow we get separated, and Johnny and I spend about an hour on the crosswalk enjoying our buzz, watching the show, and drunkenly reminiscing about our days playing football, and how football is a metaphor for life....I’m quite sure it wasn’t pretty, but we had a good time. We decide those guys must have made an emergency cab stop, and decide it’s time to go.

Back at the FSE we foolishly decide to play some blackjack before calling it a night. After a while I hear those words I said I did not want to hear.....”Dude, we tee off in three hours....” Doh!! Johnny cashes out, and I tell him I’ll be up in a couple of hands....I’ve left my room key in my golf bag (in the car), so I’ll be right up, don’t go to sleep. Twenty minutes later I’m knocking on the door....Dan, the Non-golfer, is less than amused to be answering the door at 5am....he mutters something about throwing me a pillow so I can sleep in the hallway. Freaking Johnny is well into REM sleep on the rollaway. I look at the clock and decide that 30 minutes is just not enough sleep prior to 36 holes of golf.

Day 5 Monday..... this is as good a place as any to switch days.... we are down to one foursome today....two guys flew out last night, and two knew they did not want to get up and play on the last morning. That leaves me, Tom and Mark next door (Mark had to make the emergency exit from NYNY, and Tom wasn’t much better off), and Eric, who said he would meet us for the afternoon round. I make the command decision, and do Not set the alarm clock....this should make Dan happy. Pound, Pound, Pound..... what the? It’s the door. I open it to see the Grim Reaper outside... oh shit! ... no, wait, it’s Tommy. Mark’s in the shower, why aren’t you dressed? I say, “you don’t look so good...I think we should skip the morning round”. He is visibly relieved, and yet, still has to go tell Mark that he dragged his ass into the shower for nothing. Have a nice morning. I can hear Dan swearing into his pillow.

Several hours later I wake up feeling much better. Dan and Johnny want to get breakfast.. sounds good, so I call next door...no answer...after getting dressed I go knock on the door... to my surprise Mark aswers....I ask if they want to get breakfast, and he perks up...when I bust “I know you’ve already taken a shower” on him, he slams the door on me. Oh well. Off to breakfast at MSS. This is more like it. We make it just under the deadline, and hang around for the lunch items to come out... good morning.

Back at the room we are deciding what to do. Mark and Tommy show up and tell me to hurry up, because we tee off in less than hour. I guess we’re playing today afterall.

Off to Angel Park to play the Palms course. The course is Jammed and the first few holes are backed up. I make the mistake of laying down in the cart between the first and second hole while waiting to tee off. I awake to derisive laughter from the group behind us, who are also waiting.... I need a screwdriver...I don’t feel so good. I am not alone. The cart girl sees us from like five holes away, remembers us, and actually cuts through a fairway to get to us.....it’s good to be loved. I inform my partners that I am “switching to guns”, and go with vodka cranberrys today. Once again skipping the boring “golf stuff”....highlights: no-one won the $3 each pool for vomiting on the course (extra dollar from each if you do it in a bunker).. it was close though. Eric and Mark shoot their lowest scores ever...outstanding.

I drop my friends off at the LVC and make a run for M&M World to buy some Ethel M for my wife, and get several bags of multi-colored M&M’s for various people. Get back for a shower and clothes, and find a note from Dan telling me to meet them at Jillians down the FSE, instead of at MSS. I’ve described Jillians in a separate post, so I won’t do it here...let’s just say it was Great.

After the game some of us are off to Cheetah’s. What a great place. On walking in I say to Mark, “it’s like coming home, isn’t it?”....to which he responds, “yeah, only without the dog jumping on you, and the wife bitching.”.....he doesn’t mean it, but it was funny as hell at the time. We have a good time at Cheetah’s.....drink many, many beers, and get very “entertained”.

Back to the LVC for a little blackjack on our last night....uh-oh...last Morning! Damn! Ok, just a few hands.....hey! how the hell did it get to 4am!! Back at the room, I am once again Not setting the alarm. At 7:30 I hear the pounding on the door...time to go. Shower, dress, pack, and checkout in 35 minutes....NOW who’s the Man, dammit?! On the road at 8:10, almost to plan.

I am home by 2:00 after dropping the three guys in my car off. Time to get all the laundry done!!! It just won’t do to have to answer questions about clothes that smell like talcum powder and perfume! I need a nap. Not gonna happen. Run some errands, and pick up the kids like any other Tuesday afternoon (except they are extra happy to see me...probably the best part of the entire trip). Take the family to Outback for dinner. In bed by 8:30. Daddy’s tired.

Day 6 Tuesday..... being a Veteran of the Vegas Trip, I take the next day off. I roll out at 9:30 after getting more sleep in one night than the previous three put together. I make my way directly to the jacuzzi....stay there for about an hour. From there it’s off to the gym for a really good workout, and some quality time in the steam room. I pick up some lunch and take it to my wife at work. Do a bunch of nothing until it’s time to pick up the kids. What a great day. Detox complete. How many weeks until next year’s trip?

[ October 24, 2002, 08:12 AM: Message edited by: LV Terry ]

 

Terry--

Outstanding report!! I'm glad to see you're still hitting the mark on self abuse!

I leave in 4 hours...of course, I'm at work, reading your report, not working...

Man, don't ya just love staying at the LV Club with the guys. Great place for a "sports weekend"

Mikey

 

Terry,

Loved the "Grim Reaper" episode!

BDM

 

Mikey,

Be sure to check out Jillians tonight, so you know whether you want to use it as an option for game viewing later this weekend.

Have a great time!

T.

 

That was a great trip report! My husband and I love to golf so I kind of figured in some of the blanks, lol.

Glad you recupperated and the family was glad to have you back.

 

Hey Terry--

How do the Desert and Lakes courses compare at Primm? If you had to choose one, which would you play? Thanks in advance.

 

Very fun to read!! I don't play golf but it
sounds like a sport that makes a person very
thirsty...might have to look into that!! Thanks!

Booger

 

You guys really know how to have a great time, and you have a knack for being able to communicate it so well in your report. It was very entertaining. Glad to hear you had fun!

Debbie

 

As far as golf goes, i'm a 9 hole GAWD!!!

But, put a wood in my hands and its all over with all the strokes...

Can you play beer golf at these courses?

BTW - GREAT REPORT!

 

Lou,

Both are good, but I liked the Lakes course better. If I had to pick one, I'd go with the Lakes...having to hit over water is much more "exciting" than hitting over sand, even if the penalty is the same for not making it.

T.

 

Well then, sounds like we might have to hit the Callaway Center in March!