My Beloved Big Brother Champster1 is Now In Heaven with My Mother

My brother and fellow VMBer @Champster1 -- the best big brother a sister could hope for (insert many praying hands here) -- passed unexpectedly in August, a few days before my birthday. My entire family and I, and most especially my dear sister-in-law, are still in shock as we continue to mourn the loss of my mother, who, while in her early 90s, also passed unexpectedly, in late March.

We laid him to rest in August with a beautiful service that did justice to his extraordinary life of public and community service and his profound love of family and friends that he showed every day, not just with his words but most especially in his deeds.

It has taken me more than three months to share this note publicly on the board, and even as I write it the grief is so overwhelming, but I know many of you followed him on VMB and some were fortunate enough to have spent some time with him in Vegas at a Pai Gow or Poker table, playing VP, watching a football or basketball game or enjoying a meal (he loved to eat!!!), and so I wanted to share the news of his passing.

I have been active on the board since his passing as I've been able to compartmentalize mentally to some extent out of necessity for my own mental health given 60+-hour work weeks at a company in which I serve in a leadership role, significant (really overextended) non-profit service commitments, and overseeing the care of my father, who has dementia, and the large home in which he, thank God, still lives and that he and my mother shared for 50 years, but that is eight hours away.

Once again, this board and our collective love of Vegas have been a tremendous source of comfort with my being able to read and share information about all things Vegas. It's been such a wonderful outlet for my mental health while I continue to learn and laugh as I read so many posts. It's even a wonderful distraction to be annoyed about XYZ casino resort making XYZ changes that we don't like, though, at the end of the day, we all know those decisions are trivial in the scheme of things. Experiencing a loved one passing at the age of 67 is a horrible experience that is a stark reminder of how precious life is and our collective good fortune at being able to have the discussions that we do and to visit our happy place.

Lastly, I wanted to share that the "special guests" I have referenced in some of my posts about my upcoming holiday trip are my sister-in-law, whom I adore, and her two adult children from her first marriage and her incoming daughter-in-law. Those three young adults loved and cared for my brother deeply -- and expressed that love every day -- and he loved them even more, proudly and fully claiming them as his children just as much as his own biological children.

So, the five of us will be heading out together to Vegas on the 26th, now joined by a couple of NYC friends for a few days. We know the trip is going to be one of mixed emotions as all of the trip crew loves Vegas, but no one in my family loved Vegas more than my big brother and I and so we're all excited to have a good time, including doing some of things he loved -- so playing some Pai Gow and VP, doing a coupon run, and enjoying the Wynn buffet and dinner while looking at the Lake of Dreams, and having Jack take care of us at The Golden Steer it is! -- while those same experiences will also be sorrowful reminders of our loss.

I'm smiling now while thinking about the fact that my brother's first trip to Vegas decades ago was actually crashing with me during March Madness. I was Seven Stars at the time and had tickets to MM parties and had no interest in going so I gave my passes to him. He fell hard in love with Vegas that trip and has had many amazing Vegas experiences since then, including proposing to his now wife in Vegas 11 years ago and then marrying her the following year.

Per some of my recent trip-planning posts, my SIL and I were looking to head to Death Valley in late December to see the Milky Way and spread some of my mother's and brother's ashes there. We decided yesterday, however, that it feels too early for that kind of trip (and I'm really just mentally and physically tired and don't feel like driving for many hours in one day), and we want more time "to do nothing" while in Vegas, so the ashes in Death Valley will wait until next year though a sprinkle here and there will happen at various spots in Vegas. We know my brother and mother will love that and they'll be smiling and laughing together from heaven when we do.

Writing this has been cathartic, so thanks for reading and most especially for your condolences and the kindness (including the fun ribbing regarding his and my beloved Bills) you may have shown my brother through VMB, other social media or in person. I may not have the mental energy to respond to every note any time soon but know that I appreciate it very much.

 

My deepest condolences. I met your brother once in LV at a meet-up at, IIRC, the Paris Diamond Lounge. He was a really nice guy. I enjoyed reading his VMB input. I could always pick out his posts by the big Buffalo Bills avatar he used. From what I recall, he was a tremendous help to the community in the work he did. I'm sure he will be missed by many many people.

 

I'm very sorry for your loss. I'll be sending a prayer for you and your family tonight.

In reading your post - not only was he 'the best big brother a sister could hope for,' you are 'the best little sister a brother could hope for', too. I was deeply moved reading about your charitable commitments and how you care for your father, all while balancing a busy career.

 

I'm sorry for you loss and I'm glad you have this board as an outlet for you. Take the time you need for self care and spend some quiet alone time on your trip to feel all the things you are feeling, accepting that there will always be an empty space in your trips but that hurt but you are able to focus on still living today knowing that he is always going to be with you.

Take some time for yourself away from those work hours. Self care is a must.

 

So sorry for you and your family. That’s a lot to absorb in a year’s time. My deepest sympathies go out to all of you.

If it’s not the right time to go to Death Valley now….well it’s not going anywhere.

I have enjoyed past stories of enjoying LV with your brother and family. Thanks for sharing those.

Hoping your New Years trip brings all of you joy and of course prosperity.

 

I'm so sorry to hear about your brother, especially when with the loss of your mom. I love how you all are planning to celebrate his life during the upcoming holiday. Thank you for sharing with us and sending virtual hugs and prayers.

 

What a tough year for you and I offer my sincere condolences. I hope you and your family are able to enjoy your upcoming trip and think of it as something he would have wanted you to do and enjoy yourselves.

 

So sorry for your loss. I remember first coming to know you both way back when on the LVA Forums. AS with most, the three of us ended up here in the safe haven of VMB and I've enjoyed posts from the both of you since. All the best.

 

I’m so sorry for your lost. I was fan of his posting here especially as a felllow Bills fan.

 

Sorry to hear about your brother. That’s too much to take all at once. Glad you have so many memories of your brother and mom tied to Vegas, sometimes doing nothing in Vegas is everything.

 

What a fucking year. I am so sorry Flowers, it’s all so heartbreaking, on so many levels.

I love what you have planned and being together to celebrate his life with his loved ones and yours will certainly help. Big hugs and love to you.

 

Aww Flowers, I know the feeling of loss so my heart reaches out to you.

I am sure your brother was a light in every person's life he touched. Wishing you and your family the best in the next year.

My condolences and your brother would want you to make memories as a family on your next Vegas trip. I'm so glad to hear how you will make it a happy one.

 

My wife and I are sorry for your loss. We are praying for you and your family during this time.

 

I appreciate that you felt you could share this with us, and, like everyone else, I’m very sorry to hear it. Love your way!

 

My husband and I are so sorry to hear about your brother and all that you’re going thru now. We met your brother once at a vmb meetup and it was such a nice time. We will be praying for you and all your family. May your next trip have many good memories❤️

 

Condolences Flowers

 

I'm so sorry for your loss, @Flowers. Very sad to hear that he passed so suddenly. When reading his TRs, I always remembered all the happy family pics he would take. And of course, his love for the Bills. I'm sure he'll be watching their eventual Super Bowl victory from above.

 

I am so very sorry for your loss. I hope your many, many memories of good times with him will help get you through this most terrible time.

 

I’m so glad you are now able to share your brother’s loss and know how loved he is on VMB. Your Mom and he will always be with you to support & watch over you and your family.

Remember all the good times and love.

We will connect next year and get our disco dancing in for a late birthday celebration

Ann

 

For Champ!