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Mikey's MMIV Trip Report

Discussion in 'Vegas Trip Reports' started by HurricaneMikey, Apr 9, 2007.

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  1. HurricaneMikey

    HurricaneMikey A-List Buffoon

    Jan 25, 2002
    Southeast of Sin City
    Trips to Las Vegas:

    My Trip Report

    MMIV – The Gathering of Buffoon Nation


    March Madness, for me, began on a Tuesday. Luckily my boss was kind enough to let me get started on my vacation a bit early, and cut me loose from the casino after working only three hours on Monday night.

    I used the extra time to get the truck washed, finish my laundry, do some last minute house-cleaning, and tie up all the loose ends before spending an entire week goofing off with a bunch of varsity drunks.

    Of course, I logged onto T2V early in the morning looking for any late-arriving folks who might be anticipating/lurking, but things were pretty quiet. Checking on flightview.com, I saw that Sticky’s flight was going to be delayed about 45 minutes or so, giving me more time to contemplate the upcoming festivities.

    Finally, it was time to leave the house. I grabbed my luggage, a bag full of booze, water, and other goodies for the room, and headed towards the airport. First stop was at the bank to get a thousand bucks worth of bankroll, then I hit the smoke-shop to pick up a few packs of Marlboro Lights, and my last stop was at the flower shop to get a dozen roses. Can’t show up empty-handed, you know.

    Sticky’s flight arrived about the time they said it would, and luckily her luggage was one of the first ones off the carousel. We got in the truck, turned on the Elvis tunes, and headed off towards a week of buffoonery.
    Since it was too early for her to check in at the Mirage, we made a quick stop downtown to do a bit of shopping before heading back up to the Strip. Not being Invited Guests this time around, we had to stand in line with the rest of the huddled masses, but luckily it moved quickly. Fifteen minutes later I was fetching a bucket of ice and preparing our first cocktails of the trip.

    Game on!

    After a couple of rounds and catching up on the latest, the first order of business was to use her $25 worth of free play, which I believe she managed to parlay into a $70 win or so on some random slot machine. After that we took the tram over to our favorite spot, Treasure Island, for some Pai Gow.

    We didn’t quite make it directly to the Pai Gow tables right away, as we stopped to linger at the rail of the poker room for a few minutes, and then immediately hit her favorite penny machine, something she calls “Marty”, which is some silly video thing that features dolphins and bonus rounds. I can’t recall if she won anything, but we got our first ‘free’ cocktails while sitting there, so to me it was a win.

    We eventually found ourselves at our favorite $10 Pai Gow table, but none of our favorite dealers were anywhere to be found, maybe because it was a Tuesday afternoon, and I happen to know from personal experience that all the best dealers take Tuesdays and Wednesdays off…

    It didn’t work out to well for us, as we both did a lot of pushin’ and losin’. Not too many wins were to be found at that table and we decided to get out before taking a beating. I think I walked away down $35.

    We wandered the casino a bit, looking for something to do, but nothing struck our fancy. However, I happened to stumble upon the rarest of treasures at The Island, a $5 craps table. Seriously, in all the times I’ve been there in the past three years, not once have I ever seen a game with a limit less than $10. I had to give it a shot.

    Unfortunately, four quick point-seven-outs robbed me of a hundred bucks before I could even get the dice.

    Sticky found me about the same time, saying she found no love on the slots, and we headed back to the Mirage. I was down $135 for the day, Sticky down a bit less.

    Once we got back, it was time for dinner. She had a dining credit for $25, also, and we opted to use it at California Pizza Kitchen. No crummy lukewarm spinach dip this time, we just had some Cokes and a delicious Thai chicken pizza while people-watching the endless parade of tourists passing by. When the check came, of course I told the waitress to charge it to the Underhill’s account, but she just looked at me the same way I look at people who say “He likes it!” whenever they sit down at my table at work and see my nametag.

    After dinner, there was only one thing left to do, and that was to play some poker.

    The Mirage poker room has always been good to us, and this time was no exception. We didn’t have to wait long for seats at the 3-6 tables, but unfortunately we weren’t seated at the same table for the first hour or so. Eventually Sticky made it over to my table, and the fun factor kicked up a notch. For me, it’s like having a built-in audience and my chatter gets ratcheted up to the “goofy” level, and for some reason I play better poker when I’m being silly than when I’m sitting there just grinding away with a bunch of faceless poker drones.

    Anyhow, we had one sunglass-wearing doofus at the table who insisted on calling everyone’s hand (incorrectly of course) and I had the supreme pleasure of semi-bluffing him off of a large pot early on. I showed the bluff to his buddy who was sitting on my right, and he couldn’t stop laughing about it.

    We also had a couple of the absolute worst poker players I’ve ever seen sit down, and they called all the way down on every pot. I was salivating waiting to take a shot at them, but I couldn’t catch cards for over an hour. Sticky got a few bucks off of them, but they kept catching their river cards and laying ridiculous beats on the whole table. Pretty much everyone was gunning for them after awhile. The gal went broke, but the dude actually doubled up, certainly thinking he was the greatest poker player in the history of all mankind as he stacked all of our ill-gotten chips.

    After they left, we had some good comedy when the oldest human being alive shuffled up and sat down on Sticky’s left. As he was walking up some comedian at the table motioned towards him and said “Here comes Dead Money”, which made the whole table, dealer included, chuckle.

    He was so funny looking, I swear we thought he was going to roll over and die at any second. It was like playing with a Zombie. Sticky even made me take a picture of her sitting next to him with her camera phone. We giggled about that all evening.

    At some point, Joe Vegas and Shock wandered up, content to be railbirds at our game. Since our table was in the furthest corner of the room, next to the lounge, every time we folded a hand, we’d get up and walk over to their table and sit for a few minutes laughing it up and drinking a bit. We instructed the dealer to call us back for our blinds, and I’m glad he did because when I got back, I looked down to see pocket Aces.

    It was a dangerous flop with a lot of action, and I though I was beaten with all of the drawing hands on the board and four players going to the river. But the ace of hearts hit the river, giving two people flushes but filling up my boat, and I scooped a huge pot. That’s when I decided to color up and call it a night.

    Sticky and I both made some money—not quite doubling up, but helping offset the beating I took at Treasure Island earlier in the day. We sat and talked with the boys for a bit before we all decided that the long day of travel and all of the cocktails had caught up with us, so we all said goodnight and went our separate ways.

    I had to be up bright and early the next morning, and it was all I could do to get my ass down to the airport to meet Dougie at 8:30. He found me snoozing away in the baggage claim, and we were on the road a few minutes later.

    The first stop was Green Valley Ranch for breakfast at the Original Pancake House. It was excellent, as usual. Dougie got bacon, eggs, and pancakes with a side of those hashbrowns that Sticky always raves about, and I got the same thing, although mine was called the “Bacon Lover’s Breakfast” or something like that, except that it had damn near an entire pig on the plate.

    I ended up giving a bunch to Dougie, as his portion was a little light on the bacon, and I had pork to spare. I figured nobody should eat that much bacon in one sitting, so what I couldn’t get Dougie to eat, just got left behind. We were fat, full, and happy after that meal.

    The next order of business was to get Dougie a Stations players card, as the Jumbo Jackpot was getting ominously close to that upper limit of $150,000 and we wanted to take a shot at it. I suggested that we hit the bank of my favorite dollar slots, on which I’ve *never* lost.

    He agreed and we sat down, me at my favorite machine, and him two seats down. We both put in $20, but Dougie was getting frustrated—he hit nothing, not even a single 2-credit cherry. His money would’ve lasted longer had he spent it on a lappy down at Scores and he certainly would’ve had more fun with it.

    I, on the other hand, was happily banging away, picking up a small win or two here and there, when suddenly my machine locked up and the digital display said “You have just won a bonus!”. I about shat myself, thinking for a split second that I’d actually hit the Jumbo Jackpot and that Dougie, me, and the rest of Buffoon Nation were in for a epic weekend of strippers, midgets, limos, and booze. I mean, even more epic than usual.

    But it was not the Jumbo Jackpot, unfortunately. It was just one of Station’s promos where they give out random bonuses to slot players. Mine had nothing to do with lining up all the bars or diamonds on the machine, but I got $25 credited to me immediately. So the bottom line is that I put $20 in, and cashed out for $50, and with that, we left Green Valley Ranch, Dougie enjoying the breakfast aspect of the visit, but less than impressed with the casino action.

    The next stop was the Circuit City down the street there in Henderson. Dougie, George, and I have been “consulting” over the past few months on new computers, and their expertise has been invaluable. So I had finally found a decent Toshiba laptop that had all the stuff I needed (and stuff they told me I needed) at a good price, so I reserved one and needed to go pick it up before they were sold out (like had happened a week earlier at Best Buy).

    We were in and out of there within ten minutes or so, successfully dodging all attempts they made at upselling me with extended warranties and installation and such (installation of a laptop? People pay for this???)

    After that, we headed back over to Casa de Mikey to plug the thing in and look at all the pretty lights and see what it was like to have a nice computer on my desk. My old Compaq Presario hung it’s head in shame, and now I’m able to have more than one application running at a time whenever I’m in the T2V chatroom. This new laptop has 10 times the memory of my old one, so right now I’m feeling kind of like Peter Parker did when he realized he had super-hero powers.

    We also took a few minutes to pack up all the stuff I had laying on my bed and throw the luggage in the truck, as I had only packed one change of clothes the day before, and needed to get my weeks’ worth of buffoonery gear loaded.

    Once the computer was repacked, and all of my gear was loaded, it was back down to the Strip to drop Dougie off at the Imperial Palace and fetch Sticky from the Mirage.

    We called George and Marlisha and met them downtown at the Golden Nugget. We had a few drinks in their room, then Sticky and Marlisha went downstairs to the casino to take a run at the Pai Gow tables while George and I stayed up in the room geekin’ out with all the laptops—he’d brought a couple with him, and we spent a few hours customizing mine—loading office software, virus protection and firewalls, taking off the marketing crap that pops up every few weeks trying to get you to upgrade shiat from Microsoft, and getting Firefox loaded with all the coolest extensions. That took a bit of time, but once completed we all headed up to the Rio to get Sticky checked in—George’s host at the Evil Empire was kind enough to hook a brotha up with extra free rooms for the week, so Sticky didn’t have to pay stay at the Imperial Palace.

    The room was cool, a big “suite” in the Ipanema tower, but with a view of all the finest properties of the Strip—Palace Station, Stratosphere , Sahara , Circus Circus, the Stardust rubble, and the Frontier. On the far right we could see Treasure Island and the Wynn, but they just detracted from the low-rent goodness visible from the sitting area.

    Again we poured some cocktails and relaxed a bit, laughing it up and toasting the fact that we were in Vegas and the party was on!

    Before long, we had to motor over to NYNY to meet Dougie for dinner. We found him at the Pai Gow table, but there were no empty seats to be had. So the decision was made to head over to the bar in America and have a few cocktails. Sticky had been jonezing for her favorite new drink, a “City Slicker”, but we renamed it “Sticky Juice” because a couple of them made her absolutely silly. It’s basically a pint glass filled with ice, Mandarin vodka, and Sprite, then topped with a splash of cranberry to turn it red. It tastes like punch you’d be served at a wedding, but with the happy side effect of getting you completely stupid after just two glasses. So stupid, in fact, that I ended up wearing some of Marlisha’s drink.

    Sticky juice!

    Mikey wearing the Sticky juice on his MM2 shirt

    Anyhow, we sat there getting silly for awhile, waiting for Dougie to show up, then we headed over to Il Forniao for dinner. Angy joined us just as we sat down and we had a great time. I felt a little badly because this was the first time since I’d met Angy that I wasn’t able to pick her up at the airport and whatnot to kick off a Vegas trip. It just didn’t feel right… But we had a great time and a lot of laughs over dinner. I had that same lobster ravioli that she mentioned in her trip report, but I didn’t like mine nearly as much as she did. I thought it tasted and smelled a litle too fishy for me, which detracted from my enjoyment.

    After dinner, we took a few pictures, and Angy headed back to meet the rest of the buffoons back at the Imperial Palace, while the five of us walked over to the MGM Grand poker room with the intention of laying waste to the bankrolls of unsuspecting tourists. At some point Sammi called and said she was on her way, so we put her name on the waiting list with us, and the manager was kind enough to open a new 3-6 game for us about 20 minutes later.

    Waiting for a table at the MGM...

    Sammi never showed up, and we found out later that she’d fallen asleep. (Way to represent in Vegas! Falling asleep at 10pm on your first night in town… Somebody’s Buffoonery card may be getting revoked…)

    Anyhow, we had a great time playing poker, although I went card dead for about two hours and couldn’t get anything higher than Jack-Three offsuit until sometime after midnight. I finally got pocket kings at one point, and Dougie, George, and I got involved in a hand. George kept raising with a crap draw that never made it, but my trip cowboys lost to Dougie’s Aces and he raked a *huge* pot. Of course right after that, the rat bastard said he was tired and cashed out, leaving me to try and get my money back from the tourists.

    It didn’t happen, and about an hour later the rest of us called it a night. I think I lost about $90 in there, $40 of it on one hand to Dougie’s aces.

    Exhausted, we all said goodnight back over at NYNY before catching cabs back to bed.

    Looking back, I’m pretty sure that I slept in on Thursday morning, but met up with Sticky, George, and Marlisha back over at the Mirage for lunch at the Carnegie Deli. Drew, a frequent reader and commentor on my site, has been offering to take Sticky and I out to lunch on her past couple of visits, so this time we made firm plans.

    I called him while we got in line, and he walked up a few minutes later, proudly displaying a video poker cashout ticket with the amount somewhere north of a thousand bucks. Yep, he’d hit four aces with a kicker just before lunch and had quite a spring in his step.

    Once we finally got seated, we took some time to look over the menu, freak out about the prices a little bit, and enjoy the ‘pickle buffet’ while we ordered a plate or two of fries for the table to share.

    Luckily Drew was flush with cash, so the twenty-dollar sandwiches didn’t faze him at all. The burgers seemed to be the only ‘normal’ sized things on the menu, although Sticky’s chicken sandwich wasn’t too intimidating. Drew got a club sandwich that was taller than a bottle of good booze, and I ordered something called “Bacon Whoopie” that was just as big that included a good half pound of bacon and enough chicken salad to feed Nichole Ritchie for a month.. I didn’t even attempt picking up the whole thing, afraid I might throw my back out, but Drew did a helluva job smashing his sandy relatively flat and stretching his jaws around it like a python trying to swallow a goat.

    Lunch was great, but it was a workout trying to eat it all. Of course, there was no way to come close to finishing it, and while dessert sounded like a great idea when we first sat down, by the time we waved the white flag, cheesecake was *far* down the list of things we wanted. Had they offered naps or a bigger pair of pants on the menu we may have taken them up on it. As it was, we were just happy that Drew picked up the tab and we waddled out of the deli, vowing never to eat again.


    And after...

    We said our goodbyes with plans to meet up at the Lower GI (Greek Isles) at 7:30 that night for the Rat Pack Tribute show.

    Sticky and I wandered the casino a bit hitting a random slot or two, but there was no magic to be had, so we found ourselves hanging out in the parking lot at the Peppermill a little while later negotiating for six tickets to the Rat Pack show from the half-price booth they have set up out there. Tickets were only $32 apiece, which is a bargain when you consider what a great show it is.

    I’m not quite sure what we did the rest of the afternoon—I *think* we played some 3-6 Holdem down at the Golden Nugget before getting ready for the show.

    We got down to the Greek Isles 45 minutes before showtime, but people were already lining up. Sammi had gotten there first and held a spot in line for us. As dumpy as the Greek Isles is, at least they had a brilliant idea of having cocktail waitresses work the line while we waited. At some point I got a text message from Dougie informing us that he was bailing out—he was busy cleaning up at the poker table at Harrahs and didn’t want to let all the fish off the line, so it was just five of us—Me, Sticky, Sammi, Marlisha, and George.

    We were in a festive mood, and even had a silly group picture taken before the show. I slipped the maitre d’ a handful of change on the way in, and he was kind enough to give us a big comfy horseshoe-shaped booth in the middle of the theatre. The first round of Bombay Sapphire martinis were ordered to get us in the spirit of 1961 Vegas, and then it was showtime.

    Those of you who’ve read my stuff in the past know how much I love love love the Rat Pack Tribute show, and this time was just as entertaining as ever. Everyone in the group laughed themselves silly throughout the show and closed their eyes when ‘Frank’ sang My Way, transporting themselves back forty-odd years to a classier time.

    It was incredible—just top notch entertainment all around. I think the biggest laugh of the night came when Joey Bishop and Dean Martin were debating back and forth about which culture was superior—Greeks or Italians. They went on for a few minutes about each’s contributions to Western Civilization and then Joey stated that the Greeks invented sex. Of course Dino countered that the Greeks may have invented sex but it was the Italians who showed it to the women…

    Huge laughs all around—the show damn near came to a stop for a few minutes while everyone recovered.

    After the show, we made our way downtown to meet up with the entire cast of T2V characters, as word around the campfire was that the Plaza was the semi-official gathering place. George parked the Caddy at the Nugget and we walked over from there. Of course we couldn’t arrive empty-handed, so we raided all of the porn kiosks on the sidewalk and brought flyers and business cards to pass around once we got there.

    We walked in, making a spectacular entrance and found everyone gathered around various dice and blackjack tables, or just milling about looking for a motivated cocktail waitress. I played a little bit of each, and actually made back about $90, and aside from the poker table, it was my first win of the week.

    There was too much potential buffoonery on tap to just park my ass at the green felt, so I hit the cage and decided to just bounce around drinking, laughing it up, and visiting with My People. Good times! At some point we realized that it was about 105 degrees in the casino and we decided to migrate across the street to the LV Club. Unfortunately, the Vegas Club has a small selection of tables available, and would’ve had to call in reinforcement dealers to open up all the games if everyone in the group wanted to play, so we moved on.

    I suggested that we go down to Binions and take over a poker table. That idea met with general agreement, so off we went. Of course it wasn’t a non-stop flight, as somebody had set up a mechanical bull with hot chicks riding it directly in our path. Naturally Angy and Sin had to give it a shot but didn’t quite make it the entire eight seconds after saddling up. There would be no trophy-buckles for them, although there were about ten or twelve un-costumed rodeo clowns in attendance cheering them on.

    Meanwhile, I walked up to the podium at the Binions poker room and announced “Round up another dealer and open a table—I’ve got nine drunks behind me that want to gamble!”

    Instead of laughing me out of there, the only response I got was “Ok, give me about five minutes to get you guys set up with a private table”

    Nice! Sometimes all you gotta do is ask.

    A few minutes later we were all gathered around our own private table, ordering drinks, and talking smack. The adventure has been well-chronicled in other trip reports in photos and in words, but the laughs and smack talk carried on for a couple of hours, and honestly it was probably the most fun I’ve ever had at a poker table.


    I ended up winning about $25 off of my fellow buffoons before the game broke, my only regret is that I was probably the only scavenger unable to pick the bones of Doc Al’s chip stack that night.

    Of course, because Dougie was still Missing In Action, even at that late hour, it was decided that we’d put a bounty on his head during the Official T2V MMIV Poker Tournament on Saturday. Gotta love this crowd—they make you pay for your indescretions.

    After the game, I had a few comp dollars available, so I offered breakfast to anyone who wanted to stick around and hit the coffee shop, Falcon Rob and Sticky being the only takers. We had an enjoyable late-night breakfast of steak-and-eggs, along with lots of toast (Sticky’s request), and rolled out of Binions sometime around 3:00 am.

    I was driving Sticky back to the Rio when my phone rang—it was Doc Al and Angy, drunk off their asses, yelling at us to come up to the suite at the Imperial Palace for an “after hours” party.

    Who else is there?


    Uh…ok… Yeah, I think we’ll pass.

    We were both tired after a very long day, but the phone kept ringing and by the time we got to Sahara, we decided the hell with it, let’s go… I think the deal closer was the fact that they said they wanted to write letters to Penthouse Forum and needed my particular expertise.

    So, there we were in the middle of the night, pouring drinks and laughing our asses off in Angy’s suite, doing things that probably shouldn’t be committed to permanent memory. Of course we got a few pictures that can be shared, and several more that go in the vault forever. At some point I passed out in Angy’s king-sized bed, waking up a few hours later between Sticky and Angy. Unfortunately we all still had our clothes on, so the story isn’t nearly as interesting or fun to tell as it could’ve been.

    Angy made us try on her clothes...


    I prepare to administer tattoos

    Over the course of the morning, Scott, Sin, Patti, Jer, and who knows who else all started showing up, and I think we spent awhile just flopped around relaxing, making bloody marys, dozing, and trying to piece together the details of the previous evening.

    Finally after noon or so I took Sticky back to the Rio so she could get some sleep, then I took off and headed back over to Casa de Mikey to fetch the big blue cooler, shower, change clothes, and do some shopping.

    I hit the grocery store to pick up some Coke products, a big shrimp cocktail ring, chips and dip, and about 40 lbs. of ice. By that time we were fully immersed in Friday night rush hour traffic and it took me an hour to get the five miles between my house and the Imperial Palace.

    But I managed to wheel all of the goodies through the casino and get up to Angy’s suite in time to see about 10 of the A-list buffoons hanging out and contemplating dinner. I enlisted all of their help and we got the suite all cleaned up and stacked about ten feet of garbage outside the room while we put all the beer and mixers on ice and picked up the remnants of the previous couple of nights. Angy’s room was definitely Party Central, so it needed some attention before the Official party kicked off a few hours later.

    Once the major chores we done, everyone headed for Maggiano’s for dinner, except for me and Angy. We stuck around to tidy up, finish the little things like organizing the bar and slicing the limes before relaxing with a few pre-game cocktails and ordered a pizza from room service.

    Bottom line, don’t order the Uno’s at the IP. It filled the hole, but it wasn’t very good at it.

    Once we got everything done, a few people started showing up, I think Sticky and Dougie were first. Of course we had to make cocktails, and I stood behind the bar making the first of dozens of Spicy Beavers for the party guests.

    Eventually, all the citizens of Buffoon Nation started to arrive and the party was ON! Angy is a great hostess and everyone was having a great time. Of course Terry broke out the MMIV shot glasses and the Original Gangsters in attendance all got together out on the balcony for a toast of Patron.

    It’s Cinco de Mayo out here, bitches!

    Snert and George started passing out cigars, Larry was playing with the vibrator, and pretty much everyone else was laughing it up and being silly. I spent a lot of time behind the bar pouring drinks and dancing with Angy, but even more time out on the balcony trying to take pictures and socialize with all the rest of the drunks.

    Just like the night before, there were plenty of pictures taken, some which can be shared and some which go into the vault forever.





    Sometime after midnight I ran out of gas completely. The combination of alcohol and exhaustion caught up with me and I ended up face down on the bed. I remember telling Sticky and Snert that I’d go play Pai Gow with them, but the next thing I knew I was unconscious. I also remember some vague talk about getting another private poker table, but again, I was in no condition to participate. Their stories are much better than mine when it comes to Friday night after the party...

    I wouldn’t actually call it a derailment, per se, because I wasn’t getting sick or peeing my pants or anything untoward like that, but once I hit that bed, I was out like a light, and the party ended sometime after that.

    I made my way back over to the Rio at some point the next morning, and met Sticky for lunch before the tournament started. We ate at the All American Bar and Grill—it was decent, nothing special. I think I had a bbq bacon cheeseburger and Sticky had a grilled chicken sandwich. It wasn’t the greatest lunch bargain ever, as the tab came to something like $33, but it was a good lunch stop since we had limited time.

    We got over to the Imperial Palace at 1:00 pm, a half hour before kickoff. Of course we saw everyone else stumbling off the elevators at about the same time and we all shuffled slowly towards the poker room. They were already taking the buy-ins and making seat assignments, so we each coughed up our $55 and drew spots.

    A few minutes later Sin and Larry made their grand entrance, Larry leading her in on a leash and dog collar, much to the enjoyment of everyone in the entire casino. I think the only thing that would’ve made it better would be if Sin was wearing a leather ‘Gimp’ mask on her head to complete her ensemble.

    I also bounced around the room gathering a bounty for Dougie’s head, raising $75. I gave it to the tournament director with the instructions that whoever knocked Dougie out of the tournament would get $50 and the dealer who dealt the hand would get $25.

    For anyone who is interested in a detailed account of the poker tournament, it can be found here, but the quick and dirty of it is that I took fourth place (not quite folding my way there, but close), and that Dougie took second, an accomplishment surpassed in unlikeliness only by that time Corky Thatcher was elected Student Body President on Life Goes On
    The poker tournament was another huge success, a great highlight in a week full of highlights. The only bad thing was the noise of the casino was a little overbearing, and the fact that Doc Al had completely lost his voice by then. It was tough for him to run any smack, but in retrospect, I guess he really didn’t have that much to run, going out so early like he did. Heh.

    Once it got down to the Final Four at the poker table, LV Dawn showed up, straight from the airport. Once I busted out, I got to sit and visit with her and have a few fruity drinks at the bar while the rest of the buffoons played a 2-4 cash game at a private table for an hour or two. It was a fun afternoon in the poker room, even after the tournament ended, almost like a continuation of Angy’s party—like everyone got a quick nap and moved downstairs a few hours later.

    Of course, Angy didn’t join us until later—she was busy sleeping off the effects of the party and was then finally called to tell me that she was trapped in her bathroom when some big-ass hungry birds flew in the open patio door and took over her suite, chillin’ on the coffee table and eating leftovers from the roomservice cart. I think Shock went to her rescue as soon as a room key was located.

    But it was an interesting phone call to take while sitting at the final table. I bet that never happened to Joe Hachem or Greg Raymer.

    After the poker festivities wound down, everyone went their separate ways to get ready for Saturday evening. I know some folks were heading to Red Square and the Foundation Room, but several of us met up for a steak dinner at Del Frisco’s Double Eagle.

    We had reservations for eight—George, Marlisha, Mikey, Sticky, LV Terry, Doc Al, LV Dawn, and Dougie were in attendance—all of us meeting up in the bar for a drink beforehand, all cleaned up and pretty looking.

    They led us to a round table in the rear dining room, which seemed like a very elegant room, but it was as noisy as a high-school cafeteria. Not nearly the ambiance we were hoping for.

    But what the place lacked in ambiance, it more than made up for in the food department.

    A few appetizers were ordered—calamari, snow crab, shrimp cocktail, and they were excellent, but the real hit was the fresh warm bread and butter they brought to the table. It was so good and everyone loved it.

    For dinner we all had steaks, of course, but the the big hit was the “Prime Ribeye”, which several of us went with. It was a huge slab of medium-rare perfection, and along with the sides—sauteed mushrooms, to-die-for au gratin potatoes, asparagus, and oven-baked mac and cheese, it was a fantastic meal. We mostly did wines-by-the-glass, so that really tamed the final tally when the bill came.

    We had so much food and were so stuffed that we skipped dessert, and the tab worked out to less than $100 per person. We thought it would be much more for such an indulgence, but we were pleasantly surprised. The only downer of the experience was the noise. Maybe I’m just getting old, but the noise in the poker room earlier in the day and the noise in the restaurant really bothered me. A steakhouse should never be louder than an Italian restaurant, but this place, as upscale as it was, sounded like a mall food court on a Saturday afternoon.

    After dinner, everyone was so stuffed that we gave up on any plans for late-night buffoonery. Seriously, everyone was too tired to even play poker, and we called it an early night. The combination of long days, rich food, wine, and lack of sleep had conspired against us, making it impossible to keep our eyes open.

    It’s just what I needed, as I got a full night’s sleep, woke up early the next morning, and did a little websurfing and updating the in-progress antics on the new computer.

    Eventually Sticky and I got downtown and spent the afternoon playing 3-6 poker at the Golden Nugget. They’ve got a great room there, and if you can get a seat, it’s a great place to play—nice and juicy with lots of tourists and some soft play. I think I made another $100 or so before we called it quits.

    George and Marlisha met up with us, and the four of us decided to head over to the Gamblers General Store so Sticky could look at poker chip sets, which she’d been shopping for all week. Unfortunately, she got a call from home while we were there and it wasn’t an enjoyable conversation. She was rather upset when she got done, and told me that she needed to go ahead and head back home that night, as there was trouble on the homefront.

    We said our goodbyes to George and Marlisha and I drove her back over to the Rio. It was a somber afternoon while she packed all her stuff and re-arranged her travel plans.

    I took her back to the airport and we had a very sad farewell and I said goodbye to her for what I can only imagine was the last time. I’m afraid that this was Sticky’s last visit to Vegas for a very long time, and if not, it was most certainly the last one we spent together.

    It was a terrible downer to leave her there at the terminal, and I was rather upset for the rest of the evening. However, I put my best face on and headed back downtown to meet up with everyone else.

    It seemed that everyone who was still in town had decided to meet up in the lounge there at the Golden Nugget. It’s a nice upscale hangout, but I didn’t feel much like partying or being silly. I pretty much sat in the corner by myself, ordered a beer and a shot of Crown Royal, raised a silent toast to Sticky and all the good times we had, pounded it, and then quietly sipped my beer while the party carried on around me.

    Once the band started warming up, we decided to move to a more suitable venue, so back to Binions we went, and once again we set up a private 3-6 poker table.

    We played for several hours, and at one point I was up about $75, but I got outdrawn on a couple of big hands and by the time we called it a weekend, I was only up $8. No biggie—it payed the waitress and the valet, and it took my mind off of things.

    I said goodbye to everyone and made my way back to the house—no crashing in random rooms at the IP or on a couch at the Rio this night, I was back in my own bed. For me, March Madness was coming to an end.

    The next morning I met George, Marlisha, and Drew over at the Peppermill for breakfast, and crowded as it was, my normal waitress Sandra moved us to the head of the waiting list and gave us a table in her section. Of course I gave the chicken fried steak another run, and of course I came up short.
    Drew had to take off, but before he left he gave me a very nice gift of a box of Partagas Black Labels, my favorite cigars.

    George and Marlisha stuck around, and we did our usual last day in Vegas ritual of sitting in the lounge smoking cigars and drinking chocolate martinis while chilling out, relaxing, and reliving the past few days. It was an enjoyable couple of hours.

    Before long, I had to say goodbye and get over to the Imperial Palace and fetch Angy. I got to her suite and we packed up all the remaining booze, drainded the coolers, and got ready to put the final exclaimation point on a fantastic weekend.

    We finally dragged all of her luggage and all of the leftover booze out of there, and headed to the airport. Again it was another sad goodbye—it always is when Angy leaves town—and at that point the Madness was officially over. I drove back home, crashed for a couple of hours, and then had to go back to work.

    It was a great week, and I can’t wait to do it again. I had so much fun, laughed my ass off for six days straight, ate some great meals, saw some off-the-hook silliness, and abused my system just like the old days before I lived here. That’s what Vegas is all about, right? And I can’t imagine doing it with a finer group of buffoons.

    We had a great time.


  2. Exiled in Maine

    Exiled in Maine Weeee Zel

    Jan 3, 2007
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    great report

    As always Mikey, awesome report. Although I don't think pink is your color.
    I could be wrong.
  3. LKN-NC

    LKN-NC Low-Roller

    Jan 31, 2003
    North Carolina
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    Mikey, great report!

    but, hmm, not so sure pink is your color either...

    Thanks for sharing your MMIV memories.
  4. BigStogie

    BigStogie Tourist

    Mar 3, 2006
    Nicely done....what memories....you're bringing tears to my eyes man.

    Really, I haven't had that much fun in a looong time.

    Oh well, gotta start saving my pennies for Not-Soberfest and MMV.

    Heh, we got the whole damn 'hood here hooked on "Sticky Juice" now thanks to Marlisha, Sun-Devil liquors has suddenly started moving a LOT of Absolut Mandarin thanks to her...:drunk:
  5. Dougie

    Dougie I am IN!

    Sep 18, 2002
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    Beautiful, Mikey.

    Here's to next time...
  6. pattiinontario

    pattiinontario "PATTI-O-LANTERNS"

    Mar 17, 2002
    ontario, canada
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    Great report & pics Mikey.
  7. Beach Crazy

    Beach Crazy Hostess With the Mostess

    Jun 30, 2002
    Central Illinois
    LMOA :kill:

    Always enjoy reading your spin on things, Mikey and this one was well worth the wait. Sounds like we had a great time, just wish I could remember....:wink
  8. Jer

    Jer I kinda did a thing...

    Jan 20, 2002
    Southern California
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    Shut up... just shut up... You had me at A-List Buffoon

    Good effort Mikey!
  9. woody78

    woody78 Guest

    Mikey, hell of a recap, man. Sounds like these things are getting better every year.
  10. VegasDon

    VegasDon Tourist

    Nov 5, 2002
    La Vernia, TX
    As always Mikey, a great effort. I definitely enjoy your writing!
  11. sin

    sin VIP Whale

    Jun 25, 2004
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    Hell yeah Mikey! That was so worth the wait. Next time I'm actually going to sit down at a poker table instead of riding bulls or dancing.
  12. doctor_al

    doctor_al VIP Whale

    Nov 25, 2002
    Twin Cities
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    Let me see if I got this straight -- on a night when I'm giving away chips like "strippers direct to you" cards, you're still not taking any off me? Unfortunate. You still got them origami skillz tho...

    Anyway, a grand time as usual. Dinner Saturday was awesome, I think Del Friscos may have topped the Palm, although none of the staff grabbed their privates this time, which is also a plus.
  13. sanonofresurfer

    sanonofresurfer Dude

    Jul 12, 2002
    Somewhere at the Beach
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    Oh Mikey....you have no idea how close I was. At one point, I actually had said mask in my hand...

    Another great write up. One of these days I'll actually make it to the Rat pack show.
  14. tara

    tara Low-Roller

    Jul 31, 2002
    Columbus, Ohio
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    Definitely worth waiting for..... Thanks so much for your report!!
  15. Jack21

    Jack21 Guest

    Mikey, thank you for exposing the soft underbelly of Bufoon Nation....E

    P.S. Is it the midgets that woulda made it more epic than usual?

  16. LV Terry

    LV Terry Captain Flop'N Fold

    Sep 30, 2001
    Santa Barbara, CA, USA
    Not to worry Mikey.. I got your back.


    Outstanding write up... outstanding time. One thing has Not changed over the years...this group of people knows how to do it Right. I'm lucky to be a charter member of Buffoon Nation.
  17. rje

    rje High-Roller

    Jan 14, 2003
    Sounds like a great time.

    I hate to ask, but what happened with Sticky?

    (I’m afraid that this was Sticky’s last visit to Vegas for a very long time, and if not, it was most certainly the last one we spent together.)

    I hope all is OK with her and her family...
  18. Double_Down

    Double_Down Tourist

    Mar 24, 2005
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    I'm sure everyone wishes the best to Sticky and hopes all is well, but I doubt she needs her personal life written about for all to read.
  19. Falcon_Rob

    Falcon_Rob Flying Winnebago

    Jun 29, 2003
    Columbus, OH
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    Great TR Mikey!!! I think the only thing missing from all of these MMIV trip reports was a great 45 minute roll at a craps table! We'll need to work on that next time around.
  20. dkbk

    dkbk High-Roller

    Jun 17, 2003
    Yardley, PA
    Trips to Las Vegas:

    Great read as usual, but boy is your tag depressing!:cry:

    Hope to make the madness someday! Maybe there'll be a nursing convention that correlates once. :drunk:
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