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Live, spotaneous 48-hour dilapidation

Discussion in 'Vegas Trip Reports' started by zigzagging, Oct 8, 2017.

  1. zigzagging

    zigzagging Tourist

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    My Trip Report

    It's currently 12:10 PM and my plane for Las Vegas started boarding 10 minutes ago. Sadly, I'm stuck in the middle of a staring match with my 30-minute old, untouched Bloody Mary. I've been intermittently swirling her spices around, but she just hasn't been able to win me over. I'm simply way too hungover from a late night of imbibing, and with only 48 hours in Sin City I need to hydrate before the nonstop onslaught of high-proof sugar water ensues. With that being said, if I'm at an airport, I'm either on a plane or at a bar. So with 50 minutes to spare until takeoff I ducked into a bustling, yet generic airport watering hole. Just the smell of Tabasco sauce in my now overflowing Bloody Mary provides the kick I need to get my ass off this barstool and on my flight to The City of Lights. This is a spontaneous trip with nothing planned, and since I am traveling solo I have decided to document my experience live here. See you in The Mojave Desert in a few hours!

    "You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That's the signpost up ahead -- your next stop, The Twilight Zone."

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  2. ardee

    ardee VIP Whale

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    Wishing you a smooth flight and good times in Las Vegas.
     
    Thanksgiving in Vegas!
    Christmas in Vegas!
  3. amk121

    amk121 High-Roller

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    Have a great flight and hope you have a great time!
     
  4. Geogran

    Geogran VIP Whale

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    This highway leads to the shadowy tip of reality: you're on a through route to the land of the different, the bizarre, the unexplainable...Go as far as you like on this road. Its limits are only those of mind itself. Ladies and Gentlemen, you're entering the wondrous dimension of imagination. . .
    Next stop The Twilight Zone.”


    The City of Lights awaits you....keep us posted - if you dare :beer:
     
    Ist trip 2018
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  5. zigzagging

    zigzagging Tourist

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    Thanks for the well wishes! The flight was relatively uneventful, except for when we were about 10 feet from landing the pilot had to pull up and circle around because another plane was too slow to get off the runway. I didn't have any trouble passing on the snack basket; I must save room for foods I cannot pronounce and don't want to know what they mean. Maybe I will seek out some Italian or French food for dinner. It did take a bit of self restraint not to order a few complimentary alcoholic beverages, but my stamina will thank me later. On that note, I just walked off the plane and as I entered the terminal something felt amiss. Fellow degenerates were getting those last few precious spins in on their favorite slot machines before returning to the doldrums of their lives, while others jealously glared at each passenger as they disembarked from my plane. This isn't out of the ordinary, so what is wrong then? The answer would soon come to me. Only 40 steps from the gate I happen across a restaurant with a few seats open at the bar. Without pause I belly up to the bar and order my second meal of the day: a Bloody Mary. After about ten minutes of the bartender searching for celery salt, I have my first Vegas drink in front of me! Unfortunately, I don't have much time to enjoy my cocktail because my luggage will be circling the baggage claim carousel shortly. It's at this moment I realize why Vegas feels so strange right now. For the first time since I was 12 years old, I find myself in Las Vegas without an ounce of alcohol in my system (save for what my liver is still dealing with from last nights fun). The Butterfly Effect takes over and I make an executive decision to chalk up another first for me in Vegas: rent a car. I take one large gulp of my Bloody Mary and grab the foot long celery branch for the road, before leaving a $20 bill on the bar and waving farewell to the bartender who certainly thinks I'm late for my flight out of town. Welcome to Vegas, baby!

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  6. bubbakitty

    bubbakitty Doing tirement again and happily so....

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    I can chase this as I leave in 45 hours or so. And thus my trip has been extended as vicarious living is like no other living at all.
     
    We were just here!
    Birthday + Holy Rollers.
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  7. zigzagging

    zigzagging Tourist

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    A short walk and a free ride on the Automated Transit System on Zero Level of Terminal 3 and I find myself at Baggage Claim. My flight landed about an hour ago and my bag is one of three that remain circling the conveyor belt. I grab my bag and walk out the doors for my first breath of polluted desert air and just a few moments later I'm boarding a blue-and-white rental car shuttle. I spend the next 10 minutes perusing available rental vehicles online, while questioning my spontaneous decision to rent a car. I could be en route to the hotel of my choice, ready to secure a room for the night and get my drink and gamble on. Maybe I will just get an Uber to pick me up at the rental car facility? Maybe this 10 minute delay will allow for serendipitous timing of rubdowns near random number generators? Maybe a rental car will ultimately lead to my demise? It's too late to think about this logically.

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    I tip the shuttle driver and walk up to the first rental company I see without a line: Hertz. I explain to the agent I do not have a reservation, but that I am looking to rent a sedan for two days. She offers me a Chevrolet Spark for $30/day. Not too shabby, but a Spark sure doesn't sound like a sedan to me. A quick google search reveals a hatchback, so I tell the nice lady I must look elsewhere for a rental. Before I can grab my luggage she tells me they have two of their "Dream Collection" vehicles available to rent. I fully expected her to quote me $250/day on a BMW 325i. To my surprise, she offers me a Porsche Panamera for $170/day or a Tesla Model S for $130/day. Having already turned down one hatchback, I smiled and politely said "The Tesla sedan will be perfect!" She could tell I was excited, and I think she could see it in my eyes that I was going to have fun with this car. From what I have heard, these cars take off like a roller coaster launched by compressed air. She spent the next 20 minutes making copies of my driver license, passport, two credit cards, and requested my return flight information. Luckily, I was able to provide everything she requested and finally a manager appeared from the back office. I tried to wipe that mischievous look off my face, but he saw right through my cloak. The first questions he asks me are my age and where I will be driving. He doesn't even bother to ask if I have ever operated a Tesla before. I am honest with him and tell him I have no idea where I am going, but that I should have his car back in less than 48 hours. He just stares at me for a few seconds, so I take my game up a notch and tell him I always wanted to do a self-guided tour of Red Rock Canyon like they do in the Jeeps. A few more seconds of blank stares and I tell him not to sweat it because I added the liability insurance supplement, the loss/damage waiver, the personal accident/effects insurance, and the premium roadside emergency services. Finally, he starts walking towards the car and asks me if I could forward him the receipt for my return flight. Before we even get to the car I forward him the email and proceed to ask him how/where I can charge the Tesla. He once again gives me a blank stare, and says the car has a battery that lasts 265 miles and assures me that I won't be driving over 50 miles in two days. Little does he know I don't even have a hotel room reserved tonight! He is kind enough to show me how to open the doors, store my luggage in the front or rear trunk, and turn the vehicle on. Before I can even do a walk around with him he is halfway back inside yelling at me that the car is brand new. Fuck it, I scribble a bunch of meaningless "X's" on the rental agreement and proceed to get lost in the world's most advanced vehicle user interface. Blu-tooth connected and Steely Dan's 1972 album "Can't By a Thrill" blaring through the Light Harmonic speakers and I'm ready to get lost. Next stop... I have no idea!

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  8. zigzagging

    zigzagging Tourist

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    I get a little turned around leaving the airport and instead of getting on I-15 north I find myself in a tunnel under the airport. It's ok though, I know of the rough gem on the other side of the tunnel. My first stop in town is less than one mile north of the airport and the self-proclaimed "happiest place on Earth." That's right, the one, the only, Double Down Saloon. A jukebox full of classic punk tunes, a bathroom only The Bubble Boy would feel safe in, and the infamous "Ass Juice -- Outa' our glass, inta' your ass." Time to clinch those ass checks, shut up, put bottoms up, and decide where I shall go next. Logic kicks in and I decide I need to get some drugs (alcohol included) to make sure things remain interesting once I check in to a hotel. I walk around the corner to Office Bar to get a bottle of vodka. I wonder if all those extra coverages on the rental car cover accidental leakage from my ass on the drivers seat.


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  9. zigzagging

    zigzagging Tourist

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    Before I leave Double Down Saloon I do some research on the best dispensary to visit for procuring cannabis-related products. At the top of the list is "The Apothecary Shoppe", and it's conveniently located ten minutes from the airport or one mile west of I-15/Bellagio, so parking should be easy. I'm tempted to take a detour to Rio, Gold Coast, or Palms but I overcome the urge. After checking in at the front desk and confirming I am 21 years or older, I'm allowed into the sales area where I'm greeted by a "budtender" who gives me an overview of my options. I opt for ten assorted pre-rolled 1-gram joints, six cake pop edibles, and four disposable concentrate vaporizer pens. The staff made the experience very easy and it was not intimidating whatsoever.


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    $500 dollars with tip later and I am out the door and faced with the next decision of the trip. Twenty minutes to my west is Red Rock Canyon National Conservation Area where I would love to explore, but only five minutes to my east is The Strip. It is now 5:30 PM and I decide it would be prudent to procure a room for the night before they are all booked. Maybe I will wake up at 5 AM tomorrow and go to the mountains for a different perspective on a Vegas sunrise. Who am I kidding, back to reality for a moment. I am still sober and haven't gambled one cent. It's time to ditch this car and get this party started. As I pull out onto West Flamingo Road I decide I need a room with a balcony so I can admire my recent purchases while smoking (cigarettes of course, I would never partake in recreational drug usage at a Las Vegas resort). Only one centrally-located property comes to mind where I feel I have a chance at getting a room with a balcony. Next stop.... The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas.


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  10. erica1025

    erica1025 Low-Roller

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    Great report so far! Thanks for all of the pictures!
     
    Thanksgiving Trip
  11. zigzagging

    zigzagging Tourist

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    Glad to hear you are enjoying the photo barrage! I leave The Apothecary Shoppe and take the back way down Dean Martin Drive to Harmon Avenue, and in less than 10 minutes I am valeting at Cosmo. The valet was very friendly and I was surprised to see the price of valet was only $18. Many cities I visit have $50+ valets downtown, so I was happy. I tipped the valet and he told me he would park the car as close to the downstairs valet pick up as possible. I'm feeling good about scoring a room here. The valet asks if I am checking in, and once again I must grin and say "I'm not sure." Perhaps I should have called or checked online to see if there were any available rooms. Screw it, even if they don't have a room for me I will get a ride to another property because I don't want to drive anymore today. A few minutes waiting at the registration desk and I pull out my go-to line, "I don't have a reservation, but need one for the next two nights." There are a few options available and I opt for a room with a view of the Bellagio fountains. So far, so lucky. Let's see if I can keep it up for the slut machines later. I make my way to the elevator bank that services my tower and head up to drop my bags off and snap a few obligatory photographs. The roar of the water coming out of the jets echoes off Bellagio and makes its way into my ears about half a second. By the third time I saw the show, I was starting to feel the need to feed. I'm thinking Italian.


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  12. win4me

    win4me Low-Roller

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    Can't wait for your next installment! Fear and Loathing at the Cosmo?
     
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  13. mickyblueeyes

    mickyblueeyes Tourist

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    Love the TR so far and your writing style is awesome! Keep the shenanigans coming
     
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  14. zigzagging

    zigzagging Tourist

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    Typically, by this time, I would have been gambling for over an hour. However, since I have been holding out on eating and drinking all day, I must now find sustenance prior to feeding the slots. I decide to walk out the Cosmo valet, west along Harmon Ave, up the stairs to Vdara, and across the bridge to the ARIA north valet. The walk took only 5 minutes and since it's after 5 PM I have a lot of restaurants to choose from. I have never eaten at Javier's or Carbone, and after a brief contemplation I opt for the retro-glam ambiance. Javier's is open until midnight daily, so maybe after dinner I will stop by for a $20 margarita.

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    I go the Mlife desk to get a players card and convert some cash into vouchers because they take up much less space in my pocket. Feeling lighter and getting antsy to start gambling, I speed walk upstairs and grab a seat at the Carbone bar. I take a deep breath and prepare for my first relaxing experience of the day. I'm greeted outside of the restaurant with a sign that reads "Wines-Liquors CARBONE". Sign me up. The bar is full except for three seats on the end, so I sit in the last seat and leave two spots open to my right. Before I can even open the menu two "tall drinks of water" sit down next to me and instantly greet me with "Hi honey, do you live here?" When I'm visiting other cities I am usually approached by normal looking people like myself; think "the girl next door" type. In Vegas, it's always girls of the night and no matter how blatant it may be that they are working, my upper-body head is too easily fooled into thinking these girls want anything more than my TITOs. We have a great conversation and for privacy reasons, I won't go into the details of our conversation and I certainly won't post their pictures. Just imagine drop dead gorgeous, scantly clad, and with interesting conversation flowing at east. I really enjoyed talking with them and learned a lot, but I can't be spending my money on entertainment that doesn't involve hand pays. So to start their night off with something positive I buy their meals. It took a little skill and some luck but while one of them was in the restroom and the other distracted from her cell phone, I nonchalantly hand the bartender my card and ask him to close their tab out on my card but not to tell them I did it. It was tricky trying to see the look on their face without them noticing I was watching them like a hawk when the bartender handed them a zero balance. The total of their bill was on the receipt though, and one of the girls freaked out when she saw how much she thought they owed. It was classic and now my karma well is overflowing like a Japanese sake. For dinner I order a Caprese salad, a meatball, Spicy Rigatoni Vodka pasta, and Bananas flambé. I ask for it all to come out at about the same time and the bartender warns me the salad will take a while to prepare. I am in no rush at all and I order an El Dorado 21- and an El Dorado 25-year aged rum to pass the time. Who am I kidding, I order two high-proof shots to get this party started. The 21 year is extremely smooth and easy to sip but not very complex, and the 25 year is layered with caramel, vanilla, honey, and orange peel notes. Both are excellent, just very different profiles. Complimentary with my order are a bread basket, 6-month aged Parmesan cheese, pickled cauliflower and a spicy Italian aged salami, sopressata. All is of great quality and presented beautifully. Within 5 minutes the Caprese comes out with the heirloom tomatoes sliced in the kitchen and the mozzarella cut up table side. The salad is fresh, light, and refreshing. The bartender decides to put the pasta on hold until I finish the salad. I'm not going to finish the salad, and I haven't even touched the bread because more exciting food is in front of me and on its way. I give him the green light to bring the pasta and dessert as soon as they are ready. I guess we had a bit of a miscommunication earlier, but it's fine this guy is a top-notch professional bartender and I have been whispering because my ears aren't ringing yet from all the degeneracy I have coming my way. About 15 minutes pass and I have someone clear my spot right before the pasta and meatball come out. The meatball is cooked perfectly and comes with marinara and Parmesan cheese. The pasta is interesting because of the sauce, but the noodles themselves are a too al dente for me. Already full and dessert on the way I have no problem letting a plate full of pasta go to the pig farm. The dessert is prepared table side and the guy who prepared it nearly burned his head off with a massive flame. The dessert was great but I was full. I mention I wish I had a little rum left to go with the flambé and my karma juices kick in as the bartender gives me about half an ounce of a very rare rum they only have 4 bottles of: Esencia 25-year old. Needless to say, it was phenomenal and actually quite different from the El Dorado's. This one had much less fruity notes and more of a butterscotch and toffee flavor. Overall impression of Carbone? Anywhere with a rum cart is a winner in my book. Next stop... Gambling!


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  15. zigzagging

    zigzagging Tourist

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    Feeling energized from 5 ounces of rhum and borderline comatose from pasta and dessert, I head downstairs to Spin, ARIA's high limit slot lounge. The plan is to start each of 10 random slot machines with $300 worth of credits, and to play until I double up ($600), lose it all (less than 1 credit), or trigger a bonus round. Let's see what my $3000 investment looks like when I'm done; at about $10 or more a spin it should't take very long.

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  16. zigzagging

    zigzagging Tourist

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    I stuck to my rules of starting 10 slot machines with $300 each and playing each machine until I had double ($600), nothing (less than 1 credit at minimum bet), or triggered a bonus round. So, a $3,000 session bankroll. Below are the games I played in the order I played them and what I bet per spin, my biggest win, my net win/loss, and how many total spins I had. The pictures are my best hit(s) on each:


    1) Diamond Queen; $20/spin, biggest win $75, net -$285; 41 spins


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    2) Pharoh's Fortune; $20/spin, biggest win $250, net -$285, 26 spins


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    3) Splitting Hairs; $50/spin, biggest win $125, net -$255, 8 spins


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    4) Black Widow; $40/spin, biggest win $600, net +$382, 12 spins


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    5) Pets; $76/spin, biggest win $109, net -$266, 5 spins


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    6) Enchanted Unicorn; $20/spin, biggest win $65, net -$295, 24 spins



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    7) Golden Goddess; $40/spin, biggest $36, net -$269, 8 spins


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    8) Super Hoot Loot; $20/spin, biggest win $499, net +$324, bonus triggered on 11th spin


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    9) Lobster Mania 2; $60/spin, biggest win $125, net -$290, 8 spins


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    10) Cleopatra II; $20/spin, biggest win $1,250, net +$1,060, 9 spins


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    So after 152 spins, 1 hand pay (line hit with multipliers), and 1 bonus (won 25x my bet), and $3,000 is now $2,821 (minus $20 tip for slot attendant). I think it's time for a margarita at Javier's before I continue the slot grind.

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  17. zigzagging

    zigzagging Tourist

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    Javier's went as expected: tequila, triple sec, and sweet and sour. The $18 Javier's margarita tasted like a typical Patron reposado margarita so I also ordered a shot of Asombroso 11 year old extra añejo tequila. I am pleased to see they serve tequila neat in champagne flutes. How anyone could drink this in a rocks glass is beyond me. This fine liquid smells like someone is making a stew out of library books, grape must, and Indian baking spice. This was definitely aged in some spicy oak, and even though it's amazing I wish there was a little more agave character. Not saying it spent too long in wooden barrels, just that it really shows it's age. I'm finally starting to get a buzz, which means it's time to take it up a notch with some cannabis. Now I just need to find someone with a house here I can legally smoke at. Fat chance. Before that I was about to go back in the high-limit slot room to try my luck at Pinball when the sudden urge to take a crap came over me. I began the quest to find the restrooms. I can't help but notice an abundance of prostitutes hanging out by the first Men's restroom I find. The idea of coming into contact with a public restroom here begins to concern me so I waltz up to the registration desk and repeat my calling card, "I don't have a reservation, but need a room for the next two nights." After 5 minutes of franticly prodding her keyboard she asks me to provide my license, players card, and a credit card for a $300 hold. In less than 10 hours I have managed to go from being homeless to having a rental car and two hotel rooms. Newly programmed room key card in hand and I am headed for the banks of elevators that will take me to my private throne. Wonder if my room has a view of the mountains and pools, The Strip, or one of those bright as hell rooftops with cameras and air conditioning vents all over the place. One thing is certain, I won't have a balcony.


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  18. Mnguy763

    Mnguy763 Tourist

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    Loving this report. I enjoy a good literary masterpiece to accompany photos. Wishing you luck and freedom from any notorious hangovers.
     
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  19. zigzagging

    zigzagging Tourist

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    After a great meal at Carbone, a basically break even slot session, some tequila at Javier's, and a frivolous decision to get a totally unnecessary second hotel room for my trip, I am ready to go back to Cosmo to start racking up those Identity Points. First order of business will be to enroll in their "FASTPAY" program, which allows you to sign a single W-2G for a days worth of hand pays. Does anyone know how big of a jackpot you have to win for Cosmo to require a physical hand pay? Also, do the slot attendants hate this system? I mean more physical hand pays = more player interaction = more tips. I typically tip $20 for every $1200 won (so approximately 1.7%), but with this current setup I don't even know how/when I would tip the attendants. Maybe I am missing something and the casino isn't as interested in employees tips as they are with how easily their clientele can keep the slow bleed going without interruption. Before heading to the the Cosmo Identity Membership & Rewards Desk, I make my way to the 2nd floor of The Chandelier Bar for an already overdue Verbena cocktail. Drink in hand and I'm ready for a solid slot session. I haven't decided what, if any, strategy I will have this time around. Maybe I will start with $1000 per machine and switch machines after I hit a bonus round. Any suggestions on machines to try my luck at?
     
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  20. zigzagging

    zigzagging Tourist

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    The alcohol is getting to me. I clicked "Post Reply" instead of "More Options..." before attaching images.

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