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Hooker Stories

Discussion in 'Vegas After Dark' started by mesa, Jan 5, 2009.

  1. Dean Martin

    Dean Martin VIP Whale

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    Thanks for the dinner tip:thumbsup: I haven't made reservations yet for our room (have the flight secured) but I suspect unless I can fanagle (sp?) some deal out of the Wynn that we will also be staying in the TD rooms at the Mirage..those rooms do look pretty kool.
     
  2. IllMarty

    IllMarty Orangutan

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    Last trip out was my first time in all my trips. Saturday morning I was hitting the VP machines at Bally and a young lady approached me and asked if I had a room there so we could go have some fun. Told her I was checked out and just waiting to go to airport. She said too bad, but here is my number, and to put it into my phone under the name Roadside Assistance. Was that code for ASS ON THE STRIP? :rolleyes:
     
  3. Cleveland Gary

    Cleveland Gary Low-Roller

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    yes and my luck, then next week the wife would have a flat the day she borrowed my phone
     
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  4. DaveP

    DaveP VIP Whale

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    Sorry, you got pretty much the whole story. The rest goes something like "Sorry" or "No Thanks", followed by some walking away. Except in the case of the Mirage, where I was sitting at a VP machine when approached. After "no thanks", she walked away, and I watched her go in search of other customers. :snore:

    Nothing exciting for Ken's book.
     
  5. ken2v

    ken2v This Space For Rent

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    I think I've been approached more often at MC's Brew Pub (that is when it was actually a brew pub) than anywhere else in town. My short round Cuban friend and I had a particularly memorable experience one afternoon toying with a couple of Vegas' finest. It was a kick to watch them work the room apres realizing that we felt while infidelity ain't such a good thing, if you pay for it you're really an idiot. Anyway, mine was much better looking than his.
     
  6. xizor

    xizor Tourist

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    Put me in the "I attract them like flies" category. Usually a dozen or so approaches per trip. Probably because I am usually solo. MGM and Caesars tend to get me the most encounters

    A couple of my more recent encounters:
    A nice looking lady followed me out of Bally's and told me she was Irish and would like to rub up against me for good luck. I asked her if her name was Genie. She didn't get it.

    An older one jumped in front of me walking in front of Paris and said "I know you've been looking for me". Me being drunk at the time replied "No, I was looking for REST-itution". Again, she didn't get it.

    This last one needs a little set up. I had just watched a show called "Manswers" that said the way to tell if a hooker was real or a cop was to ask them to do some nude modeling. Since that is not illegal, cops would pass as it would be a waste of their stakeout time. So there I was walking that long hall between Luxor and MB when I was soon surrounded by a gaggle of them (or whatever you call a group of hookers? a murder? a pod?). Being pretty drunk I blurted out "are you a nude model?" to the closest one. She gave me a 'huh?' look and I said "because if you are a nude model than you can't be a cop". It made perfect sense to me at the time. One of the others listening in said "honey if she won't model for you than I will" to which I replied "oh, so this one is the cop then?". Boy, that sure made them scatter like roaches when the light comes on. Feel free to use that line when you want to chase them away :thumbsup:

    I will probably have some more stories next week. Look at that countdown baby! :beer:
     
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  7. HurricaneMikey

    HurricaneMikey A-List Buffoon

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    It would be a good subject for a book, and I've got a collection of anecdotes from having been here for four years or so...

    Some of the most memorable that stand out:

    1) The skanky one at Bellagio with the 'Bitch' tattooed on her neck, who Angy tried to get me to bring over to the bar and sit down with us, who eventually found an old fella willing to spend some quality time with her. We watched the deal go down, checked the time, and she was back down in the lobby 22 minutes later, looking for her next customer. :eek:

    2) The absolutely smokin-est hottest hooker I've ever seen, gave me the pitch at the bar at the Imperial Palace around 3:00 am one morning. I told her I was at the bar because I had just pissed away about $400 at the blackjack table, so she was wasting her time. She told me that I was her last attempted sales call for the night, so she sat there and we had a drink together. She told me that she was a substitute school teacher down in Orange County and came up to Vegas once or twice a month to subsidize her standard of living. Amazingly hot, and had I not lost so much money at the tables, it might've been a case of Ok, maybe just this once... :ssst:

    3) And I'll never forget the nasty street walker who tried to crawl into the window of the Ghetto Sled one summer afternoon as I was sitting at the stoplight at Tropicana and Paradise. The scab on her face was especially appealing... :vomit:

    Mikey
     
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  8. vegasdrea

    vegasdrea Buckle Bunny

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    Yes Angy! They were all over the place that night. I remember there were a few in the bathroom talking about whose pimp was better. That was the same night that the hooker with the tattoo on her neck that said "bitch" approached Mikey. Her tattoo still makes me giggle! :haha:

    When my brother was here in September he said a couple of girls that approached him and his friend quoted $120 for oral sex. :eek: I'm sure those prices are negotiable :rolleyes2:
     
  9. mckevin32

    mckevin32 Low-Roller

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    OK, my story...

    Feb 08, I'm solo, headed back to my room at Mirage, probably 2 AM. Back at the slots by Revolution Bar there is an older black lady sitting at a machine. She is easily in her 60's and easily tops 300 lbs. As I passed she said something to stop me, and asked me to "come over here". Being the gullible small town noob I assumed she wanted to know the time or something equally innocent.

    As soon as I got near enough, she reached out, grabbed my crotch and explained that she wanted to "show you what I got!".

    I bolted, after disengaging my tender parts, and pointed her out to security. He thought it was hilarious.
     
  10. Jack21

    Jack21 Guest

    Just an educated guess, but I suspect this thread will have the length and staying power of "Politically Incorrect Humor" or a "$20 trick" thread. I'm just sayin':evillaugh
     
  11. keno

    keno obsessed with countdown timers

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    Maybe we should 'sticky' it... or is that going a little too far? :wink2:
     
  12. Sonya

    Sonya Queen of VMB

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    Um.. the long, hard and sticky puns are eww.

    I had a great conversation with one years ago at the bar in the back of the casino at Rio. I couldn't believe how much money they made! If anyone was remotely interested in my flabby, middle-aged butt, I'd have to think about it. $120 for oral!!??!! :eek: That would sure pay a lot of bills. :haha:

    Dan says he's never been aproached, but I don't believe him. I think he just wouldn't recognize one unless she said "Hey baby, want a hummer for $120?" Even then, I'm pretty sure he'd think she was talking about the car. :kill:
     
  13. HurricaneMikey

    HurricaneMikey A-List Buffoon

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    Almost forgot about the one who approached me on Fremont Street in front of the Four Queens a couple years ago.

    She asked me what time it was, and since she didn't look too hooker-ish, I thought she might've just been another tourist. So I reached in my pocket for my cell phone and when I looked down, she stepped up and grabbed my junk, saying How about some company tonight, baby? I need to pay my rent in the morning!

    I stepped back and said Tomorrow is the 12th. Who pays rent on the 12th???

    No sale. :nono:

    Mikey
     
  14. SH0CK

    SH0CK Stylin' and Profilin' Quasi Tech Admin

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    That, sir, is some funny shit! :evillaugh

    Yeah, not so sure that was a hooker, maybe a lonely lady looking for a good time... either way... eww....
     
  15. Cleveland Gary

    Cleveland Gary Low-Roller

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    i love the hooker thread
     
  16. JackPeyton

    JackPeyton Tourist

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    I have a hooker story...

    this cute girl comes up to me an rubs my arm and flirts. i smile. tell her to have a good night, and walk away. she follows me. she hits me up and tells me to make an offer. i was all "really? no. im not so down with treated people like used cars" and she went crazy. and i told her i wasnt judging her, but im not interested, and to leave me alone. then she was all why not? huh? and i was all im gay. and she flat out said "i can change that". after i tell her no you cant, its pretty well confirmed. and walk away she follows me again. she tries once more, i shoot her down again, and then she tells me im going to hell.

    it made my night. lol. it was the funniest thing.
     
  17. nucdawg

    nucdawg Tourist

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    I’m not sure if this is a hooker or stripper/serial killer story

    During my first trip to Vegas I was walking up the side walk going into TI about 2am and I hear someone sitting in this very nice black BMW by the cab line yell “hey you in the white shorts”. Is she yelling at me? As I look around, I’m the only one there. Humm, so I walked over to the passenger side window, bend down to see a very large manly looking lady sitting in the driver’s seat. After we discuss where I was going, she asked me to “get in”. Trying to be as polite as could said, I really don’t think so. At that point she informs me she isn’t a hooker, just a stripper, and request I get in again. Thinking she must be pretty good at it judging by her car, tell her no thanks. I’m not sure what she said next other than to get in, I finally tell her “lady I’m not getting in your damn car!” I kind of assume I made her mad as she almost smokes the tires leaving, like I was the cops or something.
     
  18. Wildcat Fan

    Wildcat Fan Tourist

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    Please sticky this thread!!

    This is a good one!!!!

    My Story;

    I was at Ballys last March during the BB tournament. Went down to get a boarding
    pass off the computer about 6:30 in the morning. had a VERY large 300 lbs + black woman
    motioned me over. Said she needed some help, I said "what do you need" She said she had lost
    all her money and needed $50 to get home to Reno on the Bus! Could I help her out?
    I said How? She winked and said "How about a hummer right here?"
    I told her I had to go and ask my wife first. To which she replied, "she can watch!"

    I just laughed and walked away. 15 minutes later I saw her again in the elevator with
    a man in a walker. I guess she got her Bus fare!!

    These are great keep it up!!

    Wildcat Fan
     
  19. Dean Martin

    Dean Martin VIP Whale

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    Dude... that is just too f-ing funny...I think you and Mikey are tied for 1st right now...lol

    I agree, we need to "stickey" this...this is GOOD stuff:evillaugh
     
  20. keno

    keno obsessed with countdown timers

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    I wonder if this was the same lady as in mckevin's adventure?