Discussion in 'Non-Vegas Chat' started by DaiLun, Jan 1, 2021.
I agree. Let it go. Pictures and memories do more than a headstone could ever do.
I want to be buried in a Mushroom Suit with no toxic embalming chemicals, if they need to put me on ice, that will help chill the beer. I also want a Party Fountain filled with Manhattans at the foot of the casket.
In Pennsylvania, prepaid funeral services are technically considered an insurance policy and the funds are held by a third party that is regulated by the insurance commission. Each state is different, do your due diligence.
Just went thru this for my Mom. The funeral home made it a lot easier and stress free than we expected it to be. There were many options on cremation and I can imagine when Sonya had to pay extra that was them taking advantage of the situation by going the upsell route.
For my mom, we had an option to provide our own container, go with a basic container corrugated cardboard, or pick a more elaborate container. We didn't get the upsell from them, which was much appreciated. We did add a basic silver urn which brought their services to just north of $2000.
We will be making other arrangements to spread her ashes in the ocean down the road, but we've found many charter companies that will take us 3 miles out to spread her ashes. We prefer the idea of spreading them ourselves, but that Neptune society deal sounds much more economical.
I have this on my Bucket List too.
I want 1967 Austi Powers
My husband and I completed the paperwork with the University of Minnesota for whole body donation. I keep the donor card in my wallet and my kids know where the Anatomy Bequest Donation consent form is kept. Upon notification our body is picked up in a dignified manner and brought to the University. When completed, the ashes are returned to family for their disposal. My kids are happy knowing that they don’t have to worry about what arrangements need to be done.
The kids can either scatter my ashes in Vegas or in Lake Superior...maybe both?
I had to arrange 3 funerals in the last 14 months. All were cremations. And fortunately the deceased had all left clear instructions as how they wanted the details handled.
Funeral homes are different, some are a little aggressive with upsell (although it can be subtle too, like handing you a catalog opened to a certain page) but most are not.
Just be aware that with cremation they have two things to sell you, the cremation container and the urn.
The cremation container can run anything from a cardboard box to a $10,000 casket. Just remember that there's nothing left of it at the end.
When you are in your own estate-planning mode, no matter what resources you have available, the best thing you can do for yourself and your family is to write out detailed final instructions and keep them with your will and other documents.
I worried about that at the time. They asked if we would be providing our own container, which was a difficult question to process at first. We went for the least expensive option, the corrugated container, for way too much money, IMO. It is the worst shopping experience... ever.
Also, a number of states restrict whether funeral homes can mandate going through them (and I think this is part of federal law as well, though I cannot and will not provide actual legal advice on either). But with no disrespect to funeral homes, a lot of these circumstances involve people who are going through a pretty terrible time and aren't looking to do research at the last minute..
In my plans they're supposed to snort me. I paid extra for it.
As an added note, for a regular burial some states do not require a vault. Most cemeteries in Wisconsin require it though. I was trying to figure out why my other grandfather's costs were higher for his cremation & then it dawned on me - the nearest facility is 50 miles away so they had to pay them to come get him & then to have the ashes brought back down. That was actually a hefty little add-on for transportation.
My husband does NOT want cremation. I'm still up in the air. My daughter will decide if something happens before we were to the planning stages. She has cemetery plots she can use for us. To bring a bit of a chuckle into this, my mother purchased a couple of plots adjacent to hers/my dad when they 'went back' to the cemetery after 100 years. She gave them to my daughter for Christmas one year (you had to know my mom-she was a hoot!). My daughter was the only 16 year old girl at school with a pink AK-47 & 2 cemetery plots.
It's hard for me mentally to plan when I am in my 50's. And age really means NOTHING.
Were you able to upgrade to the Celebrity Snorter Package? There's a lot of choice.
Well that's right, I'm not dissing them either. Absent any guidance from the deceased, most of the pressure is in the customer's mind. Most funeral home staff are fine just sitting there and letting that internal battle play out.
That's mostly true, but unfortunately there can be misrepresentation involved as well. When my grandmother passed, the funeral home was insistent that we had to purchase the casket from them, which is against the law to require. Luckily my mother knew better and they backed down, and she wound up getting a casket from a third-party (I think it was actually Costco) for a fraction of the price. It's not unlike how HOAs sometimes tell people they can't put up a satellite dish, which is also against the law.
In Judaism, cremation is forbidden, and the burial has to take place as soon as possible. My grandmother was interned on the day after she passed, and of course it was the coldest day in at least ten years. I think it was well below zero. My mother describes it as "her final middle finger to us".
After seeing the cost of a funeral when my grandmother died, I decided to donate my body to science. I guess someone at a medical school in the region can study me whenever the time comes. Organ donation is top priority, whoever does that gets first dibs and can take what they can use. After that, they come pick me up and some medical student will practice their cutting skills or something. Not sure, don't care. Haha it will be an honor to help. The organization will deliver my cremated remains to my family for free once they are done with whatever they decide to do with me.
Also, no I did not receive monetary reimbursement like you hear about. If I could have got some cash, I would have happily taken it lol.
This is a very interesting thread! Hubby and I bought plots about 7 years ago but that’s all we’ve done. I want to be cremated and he wants a casket so I wonder if we really needed 2 plots, but we have them. His dad passed 6 years and he and his mom had prepaid for their burials 20+ years ago so there was little to be done when he passed and again when his mom goes. My mom, on the other hand, didn’t do anything. For years she kept saying she was moving in with my sister, which meant moving back to Texas which we all knew she would never do. Fast forward to 4 years ago yesterday I get a call from a doctor at hospice telling me I needed to get to Ohio. One sister and I hopped a plane the next day and got there in time to have few days with her before she slipped away. She had once told me what funeral home to use for her cremation if she never made it to Texas so at 10:00 a.m. the day she passed (7:11 p.m., ever the gambler, even in death!) sister and I sit at the funeral home making arrangements for her cremation. Not sure I was even asked about the container they’d cremate her in but it ended up costing me $3k. Mom didn’t want any sort of service so we came home the day after (my sisters and I returned in April to clean out the house and got it ready to sell). After mom passed, my sister that was the executor of the will (and chose not to come with us to Ohio before mom passed) had the nerve to tell me that I paid too much for the cremation. She said in Houston her friend only paid $2k for her moms. I reminded her that I really didn’t have time to shop around. Needless to say, that sister is NOT my favorite.
My lovely wife and I are seriously considering this option. You can be an organ donor before getting hauled out into the woods. It’s only a few miles down the road from our home...
But the organisation might have felt that since they were paying for you then they should have some input into the timing
The cemetery plot where most of my mother's family is buried, they'll put 2 urns or 1 casket in a plot. I'm sure it varies from place to place, but if you want your urn buried, you probably needed the 2nd plot.
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