ohcraps
Full press - keep the change!
**Enters a dimly lit and smoky room with sounds of electronic noises everywhere**
Me: "You sure we can be here? We're only 18!"
Friend: "Yep. Not a problem. We're on tribal land."
Me: "If you say so..." (as the friend sticks in a $20 bill into the machine and afterwards press a button)
**Reels spin randomly, with some symbols matching occasionally and the number on the LED goes up and down after each button press.**
Me: "So are you winning or losing?"
Friend: "I'm up $30!"
Me:
"All because you press a button and the end result is some cherries or
some odd symbols match?"
Friend: "Yup. Try it out!"
Me: "This is dumb.. but I'll give it a shot!" ($20 bill is eaten by machine.)
**Sound of button being pressed accompanied by electronic sounds as the reels spin randomly**
Me: "I'll be. I'm up $20! I can buy a pizza or two!"
Friend: "See? Isn't this fun?"
Me: "But slots seem so lame. How do you get into this crap?!"
***flashback of my first-ever trip inside a casino ends***
I haven't seen this "friend" for long LONG time, but I'd argue it's probably for good reason, too. At one point in high school he had a baseball card store and I put a lot of sports cards on consignment with him. Unfortunately, one day when I asked him about my cards getting sold, he told me he had sold the store and gave my cards as part of the store sale.
"WHERE ARE MY CARDS OR MY MONEY, YO'???!!!"
"I'll get it back to you soon.. I promise."
Well, soon never came... and our relationship soured (not surprisingly) soon after that.
Many years later, I finally put 2 + 2 together and realized this guy was a shady loser who probably was addicted to gambling since he was 18. He was the business man/horse trader type, but unfortunately he would have no issue fleecing friends if he can make a buck out of it. He's the type who would hand you piece of wood off the ground and say it came from Noah's ark while offering to sell it on you for only $5.
As I say all this, I can't help but look at myself and picture myself saying this one day in front of a whole bunch of people I don't know:
"My name is @ohcraps . I'm here today because I just came back from a trip where a casino offered me $1700 in FP, $500 in resort credit, and $500 in restaurant food. The worst part is... starting on Feb 1st, I get another $1700 in FP, $500 in resort credit, and $500 in restaurant food... and I have to act like a lawyer to my wife again so I don't blow my cover and/or perjure myself!"
**slaps self in head**
OK - I don't think I'll ever reach that point but for whatever reason, this trip feels really odd as I'm not excited at all over the "Seven Stars Retreat" that HAS to be started by today (or the benefit simply expires on 2/1). I'm simply numb to it, but maybe when I feel the fake chips in my hand I'll get a little more energy in my veins.
On the other hand, I'm not leaving here with my $500 in RCs and $500 worth of "celebration dinners" unused. Stay tuned on what I end up doing with it.. (Hint: I'm gonna try to be a little philanthropic with the dinners like @MohrPfun has done with random folks.)
So... I know it was an odd intro, but I'm just "keeping it real" since that was on my mind as I write this.
Anyways --- what's on the docket?
Hopefully, I'll throw in some plot twists or stuff I have never done before, like eat at White Castle or do a play by play... from a strip club**.
** - I have never been in a strip club, and I have no intentions or interest of ever going to one. EVER. Women pay me to strip DAMMIT, not the other way around!... but they pay me in slices of pizza...I'm a cheap wh0re; what else can you say?
Me: "You sure we can be here? We're only 18!"
Friend: "Yep. Not a problem. We're on tribal land."
Me: "If you say so..." (as the friend sticks in a $20 bill into the machine and afterwards press a button)
**Reels spin randomly, with some symbols matching occasionally and the number on the LED goes up and down after each button press.**
Me: "So are you winning or losing?"
Friend: "I'm up $30!"
Me:
"All because you press a button and the end result is some cherries orsome odd symbols match?"
Friend: "Yup. Try it out!"
Me: "This is dumb.. but I'll give it a shot!" ($20 bill is eaten by machine.)
**Sound of button being pressed accompanied by electronic sounds as the reels spin randomly**
Me: "I'll be. I'm up $20! I can buy a pizza or two!"
Friend: "See? Isn't this fun?"
Me: "But slots seem so lame. How do you get into this crap?!"
***flashback of my first-ever trip inside a casino ends***
I haven't seen this "friend" for long LONG time, but I'd argue it's probably for good reason, too. At one point in high school he had a baseball card store and I put a lot of sports cards on consignment with him. Unfortunately, one day when I asked him about my cards getting sold, he told me he had sold the store and gave my cards as part of the store sale.
"WHERE ARE MY CARDS OR MY MONEY, YO'???!!!"
"I'll get it back to you soon.. I promise."
Well, soon never came... and our relationship soured (not surprisingly) soon after that.
Many years later, I finally put 2 + 2 together and realized this guy was a shady loser who probably was addicted to gambling since he was 18. He was the business man/horse trader type, but unfortunately he would have no issue fleecing friends if he can make a buck out of it. He's the type who would hand you piece of wood off the ground and say it came from Noah's ark while offering to sell it on you for only $5.
As I say all this, I can't help but look at myself and picture myself saying this one day in front of a whole bunch of people I don't know:
"My name is @ohcraps . I'm here today because I just came back from a trip where a casino offered me $1700 in FP, $500 in resort credit, and $500 in restaurant food. The worst part is... starting on Feb 1st, I get another $1700 in FP, $500 in resort credit, and $500 in restaurant food... and I have to act like a lawyer to my wife again so I don't blow my cover and/or perjure myself!"
**slaps self in head**
OK - I don't think I'll ever reach that point but for whatever reason, this trip feels really odd as I'm not excited at all over the "Seven Stars Retreat" that HAS to be started by today (or the benefit simply expires on 2/1). I'm simply numb to it, but maybe when I feel the fake chips in my hand I'll get a little more energy in my veins.
On the other hand, I'm not leaving here with my $500 in RCs and $500 worth of "celebration dinners" unused. Stay tuned on what I end up doing with it.. (Hint: I'm gonna try to be a little philanthropic with the dinners like @MohrPfun has done with random folks.)
So... I know it was an odd intro, but I'm just "keeping it real" since that was on my mind as I write this.
Anyways --- what's on the docket?
- Land in Vegas after having a layover in San Diego.
- Somehow try to get my $1200 in freeplay chips today (for use on the craps tables at Planet Hollywood, obviously).
- Play craps with @VegasDaytripper at the Wynn.
- Get my local friend to grind out some cash from my $500 slot FP.
- And....?
Hopefully, I'll throw in some plot twists or stuff I have never done before, like eat at White Castle or do a play by play... from a strip club**.
** - I have never been in a strip club, and I have no intentions or interest of ever going to one. EVER. Women pay me to strip DAMMIT, not the other way around!... but they pay me in slices of pizza...I'm a cheap wh0re; what else can you say?
So one more trip for that one too.
