Day 1: Let the Buffoonery begin. We are on the road before dawnâ€¦on our way to pick up The Rookie, who at this point does not know he is goingâ€¦.his wife has arranged everything at work, packed his bag and his clubs, and put aside spending moneyâ€¦what a woman. We arrive at The Rookieâ€™s house at 6:45amâ€¦.his wife lets us in on the sly, and six of us stroll into the dark living room to spot our victim sitting on the couch, watching CNN and drinking coffeeâ€¦ he looks up with that â€œwhat the hell is this all aboutâ€ look on his faceâ€¦it only takes a few seconds before he understands that this is a hostage situation, and he has two minutes to get a shower and get dressed. Perfect. Wife is stoked, we all head out to load up his gear. The wife tells him whatâ€™s going while he is in the showerâ€¦ one must assume he thanked her properly. We are back on the road by 7am. Sweet. For the first time ever, I am not driving on this trip, which is a nice change. We make excellent time, and are at the LVC around noon. My buddy has scored us Casino Rates, which is nice, but I notice that theyâ€™re putting us in the South Towerâ€¦. A little chit chat with the girl at the desk gets us bumped to an MVP room in the North Tower, at the same rateâ€¦very cool. When we get to the room, Iâ€™m giggling because I scored us a â€œSuiteâ€ at the LVCâ€¦my buddy doesnâ€™t understand why thatâ€™s funny, but I know my friends at T2V will. Livinâ€™ Large baby. We get our stuff put away, and crack a couple of ice cold beers out of the ice chest (Sam Adams Octoberfest for the detail oriented)â€¦we are officially in Vegas. We all meet up (six of usâ€¦small group this year) downstairs, and head over to the Golden Gate for some lunchâ€¦had a turkey sandwich, as I knew where we were headed next, and I just couldnâ€™t do that with shrimp breath. Thatâ€™s rightâ€¦. The Gulch. We were in town for less than an hour, and we were gettinâ€™ the Rookie a lap dance. Two of the guys head over to the poker tables at the Plaza. Upside to the Gulch at 1pmâ€¦the beer is actually cold. Downside, there were probablyâ€¦.five girls working. So whatâ€¦ weâ€™re in Vegas on a Thursday afternoon drinking beer and looking at naked girlsâ€¦this is not something to complain about. After a while itâ€™s off to play some blackjack. The four of us play for four or five hours, and have a great timeâ€¦.much laughter and story telling, no big wins or losses. We decide to hit the showers, change, meet the other two, and head out for the evening. First stop: Hofbrauhaus. Aww yeah. They did a great job with this place. We get a table in the Beer Garden, and order some rather large beers and various dishes of very good German food. Perfect. After dinner a girl comes up to the table carrying a large basket of fresh pretzelsâ€¦.some as big as your head. We explain that we just ate, and are almost done with our giant beers, and simply have no room. I then realize that pretzel girl does not really care about selling pretzelsâ€¦she works for tips! She has put up with our buffoonery and been fun, so I hand her a couple of dollars, which she is happy to see, and playfully lodges in her cleavageâ€¦niceâ€¦.the Rookie gives her a couple, she stuffs them in there and kind of jumps up and down in her St. Paulie Girl uniformâ€¦we all agree that pretzel girl is very jiggly, and we like her. We ask for comment cards and everyone fills them out for her and our waitress. Time to go. We decide to walk over to the Hard Rock. It is cold as hell, and sprinkling on us. I am making a semi drunk call home as my boys are laying into me for being the only one wearing shorts, when I was the one who sent an email about possible bad weatherâ€¦ I love those guys. We get to the Hard Rock, grab some cold beers and start taking the tour of all the cool stuff they have lining the walls. At this point, please allow me to say that in my opinion, the Hard Rock has the Best cocktail waitress outfits Ever. We cruise around, get another beer, check out the Hard Rock store, which has a ton of cool stuff, and then decide thatâ€™s itâ€™s time to go. My buddy gives me the look, and I know what heâ€™s got in mindâ€¦the two poker players also see the look, and want no part of it. See-ya tomorrow, weâ€™re taking the Rookie to Cheetahâ€™s, baby! On the way out we pass a doorway with a velvet rope in front of it, and the largest individual I have ever seen standing in front of it. Understand that the Rookie and I are both six-four-ish, and this guy towered over usâ€¦it also took about three strides to get from one side to the other of himâ€¦.once we were out of earshot we all stopped and just went, â€œDamn!! That guy is Huge!!â€ Off to Cheetahâ€™s. Got the free cab ride, but gave our cab driver a fat tip for being a lot of fun. I guess I donâ€™t need to describe in detail what we did for next few hoursâ€¦letâ€™s just say we spent a Lot of moneyâ€¦.drank many buckets of iced down Coronaâ€™s, and did what boys do at a Strip Club. I love that place. Hit the road around 2am, and since I made late tee times this year, did Not have to hear â€œdude! We tee off in four hours!â€. Nice. Day 2: Angel Park Up for breakfast at 7amâ€¦.feeling pretty crunchy. Call the other two golfers, but they are not in their room. We decide to stumble up to the restaurant in the LVC. Our buddies are already eatingâ€¦we grunt at each other as we pass them to our table. After about ten minutes of no waitress, I blurt out to my buddy across the room, â€œI will give you $10 for that cup of coffee.. right nowâ€. No Sale. I hate that guy. We finally get some food and take off for Angel Park, for the first round of the trip. The Rookieâ€™s wife is not the only one that packed his golf bagâ€¦one of the boys has brought along a gag, and stuffed it in with his shoesâ€¦.this provides the first round of uncontrollable laughter of the day. The Rookie is now also referred to as Double D the rest of the trip (and quite possible the rest of his life). High Grade Buffoonery. As weâ€™re waiting to pay, the counter guy tells the group in front us, â€œok, thatâ€™s $145 eachâ€â€¦the Rookieâ€™s eyes get big, and I give him the â€œdonâ€™t worry about itâ€ look. The second counter guy helps usâ€¦ I hand him my Angel Park card, and in a quiet voice he says, â€œok, $55 eachâ€â€¦. The Rookie is dutifully impressed. Off to hit some balls, and then to the first tee. Oh yeah, along the way I load our carts with big morning screwdriversâ€¦ awww yeah. Oh yeah, I sent off for some golf tees as wellâ€¦ We are now good to go. Iâ€™ll skip the golfing details except to say that all the bets came down to the 17th hole, where my golf buddy and I both hit really good drives. I hit my approach to the center of the green. Golf Buddy drops his ball 18 inches from the hole, for a tap in birdie. Pay the Man. Back to the hotel. We tell those guys to come to our room after they shower and change, and weâ€™ll have a couple of beers before going to dinner. Refreshed, we gather up the other two, and weâ€™re off to the Main Street Station Buffet for the traditional Friday Night Dinner. Good as always. Played some poker at The Plaza with the boys after dinner, but I donâ€™t really care for the vibe thereâ€¦.too many pensioners playing super tight with their social security checks. I decide to spend the rest of the night playing at The Nuggetâ€™s new poker room. Had a good timeâ€¦ won a few dollars (thirty-ish), but missed seeing my Boy hit a Royal Flush against a guy who had an Aces full boatâ€¦.in addition to the Huge pot he won, there was a $500 bonus for high handâ€¦.awesome. Day 3: Back to AP Getting later tee times was sheer geniusâ€¦.of course the Golf Nazi was bitching about only getting in one round a day, but even he had to admit it was for the bestâ€¦our other two buddies would not be up to the test. In this picture you can see the hats the Golf Nazi had made for usâ€¦they are emblazoned with the letters STFUâ€¦.he figured weâ€™d be able to save a lot of energy by just pointing to our hats, than yelling it at each other all day. We got a lot of mileage out of those hats. Oh yeah, after the drink girl took this picture, she stuffed my camera inside her shirt and fired off another oneâ€¦ didnâ€™t turn out, but she got a fat tip anyway..hahahaha Another good day of golfâ€¦everyone played really well. The Rookie broke 100 for the first time ever, which is a big deal for every golfer. Golf Nazi shot 84, and I shot 83. Very fun day. Back to the hotel for the post golf routineâ€¦.showers, clean clothes, cold beers in our room. After beer # 2, some a-hole starts talking politics. I decide that if Iâ€™m gonna be subjected to his leftist bullshit, Iâ€™m gonna need a Real drink, so I crack the Patronâ€¦ I think youâ€™re feelinâ€™ me. Four shots and many beers later, we are Hammered, and in need of dinner. We head over to the Triple 7 Brew Pub at Main Street. The good news: they have good food, and food will sober us up a little. The bad news: they have beer!! We stumble out of there after a while and head out to the FSE, deciding a some fresh air might do us good. This is where the bicycle cops show up. Shit. I canâ€™t resist. Had some laughs with the copsâ€¦.all I remember is, â€œthatâ€™s not a shot-gun, thatâ€™s a tire pump!â€, and as we were leaving, â€œsorry man, no siren, no respectâ€. A few minutes later an ambulance flys by with sirens blaringâ€¦my buddy yells out, â€œnow Thatâ€™s how you get respect!!â€. Writing this, it strikes me how much funnier things are when youâ€™re drunkâ€¦ hahahahaa. We decide to shoot some pool upstairs at Jillians, which Also has beer! We do that for a while then head back. Now, Glitter Gulch is right next door to the LVC. Whoever was leading the pack took the wrong doorway, and we ended up in there instead of back at our rooms. Whereâ€™s the GPS when you need it. A word about the Gulch. We have had widely varying experiences there. After some visits, we swear we will never go backâ€¦in fact, that is what caused us to go to Cheetahâ€™s for the first time. This year was one of the good years. The lap dance pressure was very low (weâ€™ve been there when itâ€™s so bad you just walk out), which made it fun. Being a dozen steps from our hotel has obvious benefits. And letâ€™s face it, how often is a quick shot of cold beer, loud music, and nekid women a bad thing? Day 4: Raider Nation is not pleased We all meet at Jillians at the far end of the FSE. This is a great place to watch sports, eat, and drink. We watch the first half of the morning games while eating breakfast. Ordered a bloody mary, extra spicy, and you can damn betcha it was plenty spicy!! Nice. At halftime Iâ€™m getting sleepy, so I take off with one of my buddies to the Nugget poker room. Upside: poker, and they have flat screen tvâ€™s on the walls. Downside: No dish, so only two games were on. Played pretty much all day. There was one guy at the end of the tableâ€¦very nice, middle aged, professional lookingâ€¦who saw every single flopâ€¦. Iâ€™m talking literallyâ€¦ every flop, all day. I saw him call down some crazy hands (like mucking after his opponent showed bottom pair), but then he also won some huge pots when his 57 turned into a boat or a flush. In fact, he is the one that finally busted me out. I had AJ of clubs in middle position. The flop comes A 8 2. He bets, I raise, he calls. The turn is a Jâ€¦ two pair for me. He checks, I bet, he calls. The river brings another 8. He bets into me. Sonofaâ€¦. Yep, his unsuited 5 8 pays off. Time to go. I head over to the LVC and play BJ for a few hours, finishing up down $25. Hook up with my golf buddies, and we decide to play the par 3 at Angel Park under the lights. We get there and have the course to ourselves. Lots of fun, especially on the Island green, where the rookie does not just miss the green and go into the water, but instead shanks one dead into the waterfall!! I will never forget that sound! He drops another ball, and snaps it onto the hillside left of the lakeâ€¦.throws down ball #3, and blades clear over the hole, into the darkness. Thatâ€™s it Tin Cup, if you canâ€™t even hit the Lake, itâ€™s time to move on to the drop area. Oh yeah, I miss the island by about two feet, and make a huge splashâ€¦.. Iâ€™m all about the comedy, baby. The other funny hole was when we get to the replica of #6 at Riviera, which has a bunker in the middle of the greenâ€¦.this completely dumbfounds double D. He just stands there, looking at it. â€œthereâ€™s a bunker in the middle of the greenâ€¦â€ Tee off dude. â€œyes, but thereâ€™s a bunkerâ€¦.â€ Letâ€™s go Smaels, while weâ€™re young. â€œbutâ€¦â€ You know damn well he put his ball in that bunker! Hahahaha Itâ€™s pretty surreal playing golf at night under the lightsâ€¦.kind of reminds me of playing football in high school. We decide weâ€™re having too much fun to leave, so we hit the putting course. The putting course is real grass, with little bunkers, and even waterâ€¦ itâ€™s like miniature golf for golfersâ€¦ we had more fun there than we anticipated. A nice bonus was that we had free rounds at the par 3 and putting course on our Angel Park cards, so we didnâ€™t have to pay anything for the whole night. Again, the Rookie is duly impressed. As it should be. heeheehee We head back to the LVC and grab the last of the cold beers out of the cooler. Out for a walk under the FSE (the new lights are noticeably better). Itâ€™s about midnight, so two of the guys opt to call it a night, since weâ€™re leaving early in the morningâ€¦.the Golf Nazi and I are eyeing the Gulchâ€¦the other two just laugh at us and walk offâ€¦ we laugh at us too.. hahahaha Two beers onlyâ€¦out by one oâ€™clock..nobody gets hurt. heehee We hold pretty true to that plan, and have a fun last evening. Final Thoughts: I love Vegas. End of final thoughts.