Thursday: Arrive in the afternoon, get settled in, head over to the Golden Gate for shrimp cocktails, then four of us jet off to the Callaway par 3â€¦.I just love starting a trip thereâ€¦.right about sunset, itâ€™s probably in the high 70â€™s / low 80â€™s, little breeze blowingâ€¦.the beer girl shows up right on cue as the sun goes down and the lights come up on the Strip. Perfect. The Huge moonrise, and low flying aircraft make it almost surreal. On the way back, we take the Stripâ€¦windows down, sunroof openâ€¦all good. About halfway down we dodge to the curb and call the porn guys overâ€¦load us up!! They do, and the one guy who stayed and worked instead of going to Callaway spent the rest of the trip pulling porn out of various places. Friday: Up early for two rounds of golf at Angel Parkâ€¦perfect dayâ€¦probably low 80â€™s. On the second 18 we are constantly harassed by the ex-stripper beer girl. Nice. Back to the hotel for showers and beers. As Iâ€™m washing my hair, a large glass of Padron Silver (tequila) gets handed into the showerâ€¦..uh-ohâ€¦now itâ€™s on. There are eight of usâ€¦.it takes about 45 minutes to kill the entire bottle, and put a dent in the beers. Aw yeah. Friday night is the traditional night for everyone to eat together at the MSS buffet. The line is out the door, down the bar. My buddy figured now would be a good time to pay off his golf wagersâ€¦.three of us step to the bar for an ice cold micro brewâ€¦and Padron? What the?! Iâ€™m standing at the bar, and there is a cute girl smiling at me, I smile back, she waves me over, says hi, and gives me her cell phone #....what the? Uh-ohâ€¦.gotta go. I turn around, and my buddies are staring right at meâ€¦.. uhhhâ€¦ next round on me! One of our group has reconned the buffet line, and say itâ€™s an hour and a half waitâ€¦ I donâ€™t think so. Someone decides we should go to the Chinese buffet at the Plazaâ€¦ whatever, Iâ€™m feeling no pain, whatever you guys wantâ€¦half the group takes off to get a big table, the rest of us get another beer and stumble overâ€¦.load up a plate, but Iâ€™m not hungryâ€¦couldnâ€™t tell you if it was good or notâ€¦we Did have a bunch of laughs though, which is better than food. Back under the canopy, some of us venture into the Gulchâ€¦.no narrative requiredâ€¦.a couple of hours later, itâ€™s time for shrimp cocktail, and then off to bed. Saturday: Off to Tuscany GC in Hendersonâ€¦.itâ€™s brand new, and still growing in in areas (like the greens). Itâ€™s going to be a good track once it matures a bit. Highlight of the round: my buddy in the group in front of us misses a hole in one by three inchesâ€¦he stays there to let us know about it, but gets to watch me make a ten foot birdie puttâ€¦.not only does he not get the ace, I push him on the skins! Worthless!! Hahahahahaa some of us thought this to be funnier than others. We get back to the clubhouse, and someone asks what the replay rate is. $15. What, for the cart? What about the golf? Nope, $15. Everyone is in for the (basically) free replayâ€¦..but..but..butâ€¦Iâ€™m supposed to meet Hoyaheel and Hoyahubby for hurricanes!! Dammit! Canâ€™t bring down the whole group for my own gain, so I bite the bulletâ€¦of course the cell phone # is back at the room, so I have to be Completely rude. I hate me. More golf, then itâ€™s back to the hotel. At the hotel, we find out that the geniuses in the other car stopped to get Another bottle of Padronâ€¦. I donâ€™t feel so good. Showers, fresh clothes, kill the bottle of Padron, and itâ€™s off to the Haufbrauhaus!! Five guys pile into each cabâ€¦in ours we play â€œyou ask a question / I ask a questionâ€ with the lesbian cab driverâ€¦.I will spare you the details (stupid Padron). The Haufbrauhaus Oktoberfest is in a Huge tent in Terribleâ€™s parking lot, across from the Hardrock. There is a band from Germany playing, lots of picnic tables lined up, everyone is eating good food, drinking good beerâ€¦.I have to admit, it had a very 1942 feeling to it. The waitresses, all wearing their Saint Pauli Girl uniforms, are scramblingâ€¦ours flys by a couple of times, telling us sheâ€™ll be backâ€¦I stop her on the third fly-by and ask her to please take her time, that we are not in a hurry, and not to worry about us (she loves us for the rest of the nightâ€¦actually hanging out with us when not working). As we are waiting for our beers, my buddy busts out with â€œfor $50 I will Goose Step the length of the hall, giving the Heil Hitler signâ€â€¦.in unison, nine guys stand up, pull out wads of cash, and begin waving them in his faceâ€¦.we are in hystericsâ€¦.he has to rescind the offer. After a few beers in those giant glass mugs, we are, wellâ€¦ hammered. The various forms of sausage are tasty. Our waitress, and her twin sister (both blonde and wearing the saint paulie girl uniâ€™sâ€¦donâ€™t get me started) are lots of fun, we get them to say funny stuff to our friends (like when my buddy orders the small beer instead of the big one, I convince her to give him a hard time about his â€œsize issuesâ€â€¦â€¦believe me, you never want to be a guy in a packed beer hall, with the waitress giving you the â€œtinyâ€ hand signal). At one point she brings her five year old daughter over to say Hi, then takes her backâ€¦.I ask if that is her husband, and if so, to Please stop cutting his hairâ€¦.she finds that Quite amusing, and tells me itâ€™s not her husband, itâ€™s â€œjust her babyâ€™s daddyâ€â€¦. Oh. Itâ€™s finally time to go. Pile back into taxis. My taxi somehow ended up at Cheetahâ€™s, where one of my friends was treated to the â€œIâ€™ve been sitting on your lap for 45 minutes, thatâ€™ll be $400 experienceâ€¦.Dude was not happy. I was able to convince him that itâ€™s better to pay the money and go, than have the judge agree that you were right the next morning. We pay and leaveâ€¦ first bad experience ever at Cheetahâ€™s. Back to the LVC. My buddy needs a beer, because he is Way pissed off. Over to MSS for some microbrews and a 5 cheese pizzaâ€¦both yummy. Itâ€™s 3amâ€¦time for bed. Sunday: No golf todayâ€¦..gonna watch football. I get out of the shower about 8:30, and there is a bloody mary sitting on the bathroom counter. Nice. I continue to get ready, and figure itâ€™s time to find out whatâ€™s up next doorâ€¦.so, wearing boxers only, brushing my teeth with one hand, and carrying my bloody mary with the other, I head out into the hallwayâ€¦..sure enough, two women get off the elevator and start down the hallwayâ€¦.damn. Iâ€™m halfway between rooms, so I just keep goingâ€¦they give me applause, so I guess it was all good. Hahahahaaa Classic Vegas moment. We go down to Jillians and get a great table. The management treats us like Kings (other than seating us next to a huge table of Chiefs fansâ€¦gggrrrr). The food is good, the beer is good, all the games are on. Outstanding. Do that most of the day. Take a bunch of my friends down to the LVC craps table to teach them the gameâ€¦.we all have fun, and they thank me for their $60 coronaâ€™s. Play some black jack, and win about a hundred. The crowd disperses, and my buddy and I play black jack for a few more hours and call it a night. 3amâ€¦our wake up call is in three hoursâ€¦.did I not specifically say I did not want to hear that on this trip? Damn. Monday: 6am wakeup callâ€¦..I hate wakeup calls. Today we play The Legacy, a U.S. Open qualifying courseâ€¦.a Greyhound appears in my cartâ€¦Iâ€™m going to need it. I get spanked all day (by the course)â€¦.I start calling for stuffâ€¦â€get in the bunker!â€â€¦â€be short! gimme the lake!â€ â€¦ I hate golf. Back to the LVC. Shower, beers, back to Jillians for MNF. The food is good, the game is bad. Our drunk friend is out on the patio with two women he should not be withâ€¦.they are scaring us. With the help of the very nice hostess, we keep a close eye on the situationâ€¦of course it gets out of hand, and we have to go into full intervention mode. Pull him inside back to the table and sit him downâ€¦. â€œlook, I know you just got divorced, and I know youâ€™ve had some drinks, but look at our facesâ€¦.would we all look like this in Vegas if you werenâ€™t blowing it?â€â€¦. he sees the logic. One of the girls comes inâ€¦..I have to get rude with herâ€¦I buy them a round and ask them to drink it walkingâ€¦.they are not happy with meâ€¦ my buddy Isâ€¦.I win. The party disperses, with my buddy properly supervised. One of my friends and I go upstairs to shoot a couple games of poolâ€¦the girl puts us in the special room in back that is like a little clubâ€¦.big leather chairs, big screenâ€¦ very nice. The hostess stops by and says hi on her way home. Time to call it a night. I stop to play some black jack on the way inâ€¦my buddy, who is driving tomorrow, goes to bed. Soon, Iâ€™m headed back to the room. Itâ€™s 1:30am. I open my door and see the icechest that we've been using to keep the door open (and of course, hold lots of cold beer).....I think, "better check it"....I open it, and sure enough, floating in ice, are the last four beers. Now I think... you know, it would be just plain stupid not to drink the last four beers. On go the lights....my roommate is out. F that. Get up! We gotta drink the last four beers! He doesn't wanna. I'm not havin' it. We spar verbally for about five minutes.... fine. Down the hallway to my other two buddies' room. knock knock knock. what? I have four cold beers that we need to drink! It's our last night in Vegas, it's only 1:30ish, time for one last Vegas story.... besides, it would just be bad ju-ju to leave beers un-drunk in Vegas. Get up! no. Get Up! no. I hate you guys. Ok, one guy gives in to peer pressure, gets up and dressed...other sissy buddy will only agree to drink beer in bed....loser.... we pound beersâ€¦the dressed buddy and I head back down to my room with our half finished beers, to get my roommate to drink the fourth. We get in there, and he has no hope, now there are two of us letting him have it. With fresh alchohol in my system, I have a new genius idea...last night, one last chance for a good story....weâ€™ll go next door to Glitter Gulch....drink the two beer minimum and stuff a couple of G-strings.. I'll pay for everything, let's go. Twenty minutes tops, and we're outa there...no harm no foul. Down we go. Somehow it gets to be 3:30....time for bed. Go back up, but we have to pass another doorway that we know. knock knock knock You guys have any beer left? yep. You know that's unnaceptable, right? yep. Let's get on it. drink drink drink 4am... we need breakfast. Off to whatever restaraunt is upstairs at the LVC....my roommate crashed, so there are four of us, one of which is from Hawaii, so he orders a side of Spam for everyone...nice. Anyway, we get back to the room, it's 6am. We were supposed to leave at 8. Why don't we just roll Mark's ass out of bed and leave now?! So we did. Did I not say I did not want to stay up all night on this trip?! Tuesday: I try like hell to be a good co-pilot, but Iâm basically worthlessâ€¦.Iâ€™ve had three hours of sleep in two nightsâ€¦.Iâ€™m on day threeâ€¦.â€not good Mavâ€¦â€. Weâ€™re home by noon. Get all the laundry doneâ€¦.that talc/stripper perfume does Not fly at my house. Time to pick up the kids, get home, get dinner started. Iâ€™m in bed by 9pm. I have tomorrow off, so I can sleep in. I wake up feeling pretty goodâ€¦.must be at least 10amâ€¦..2:30pm!! Ohmygod, I slept for over 17 hours!! I have never done that in my life! Oh well. So there you have itâ€¦..I do not need to drink for several months.