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Bad joke of the day 2020

Discussion in 'Non-Vegas Chat' started by wormhole, Jul 14, 2016.

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  1. queuetee

    queuetee VIP Whale

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    A Dubliner gave his girlfriend an engagement ring. To save some money he bought a fake diamond, but she noticed it and called him out. To save himself he said " It is in honor of St Patrick's Day. I wanted to give you a sham rock."
     
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  2. Breeze147

    Breeze147 Button Man

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    :clap:
     
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  3. wormhole

    wormhole VIP Whale

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    41.jpg
     
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  4. wormhole

    wormhole VIP Whale

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    47.jpg
     
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  5. Breeze147

    Breeze147 Button Man

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    Q: How can you tell if a porno was made in the 70s?

    A: Even the guys' penises have sideburns.
     
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  6. BlacklabberMike

    BlacklabberMike MIA

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    clone.png
     
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  7. Breeze147

    Breeze147 Button Man

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    Q: How do you know when a blonde has a brain fart?

    A: Her ears flap.
     
  8. wormhole

    wormhole VIP Whale

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    53.jpg
     
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  9. The Stig

    The Stig VIP Whale

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    I watched the film Bohemian Rhapsody online, I think it was filmed in a movie theatre though as in the corner I could see a little silhouette of a man.
     
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  10. wormhole

    wormhole VIP Whale

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    58.jpg
     
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  11. Breeze147

    Breeze147 Button Man

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    What's the definition of bravery?

    A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!
     
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  12. ardee

    ardee It's only money.

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    That's why my hubs keeps a spare pair of underwear in his classroom closet. Sharting is a thing!
     
  13. oghuman

    oghuman VIP Whale

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    TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
    DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
    TEACHER: What are you talking about?
    DONALD:
    Yesterday you said it's H to O.

    TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.
    Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
    LOUIS: "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"

     
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  14. Richard Alpert

    Richard Alpert LOST

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    I'm not adding "in bed" :wink2: to this fortune... :eek:
    20190303_071610.jpg

    RICHARD
     
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  15. ardee

    ardee It's only money.

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    bacon.jpg
     
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  16. Breeze147

    Breeze147 Button Man

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    Q: Why did the skeleton burp?
    A: It didn't have the guts to fart.
     
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  17. dmr

    dmr Registered Abuser

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    And everybody, boy or girl, should know how to cook tasty scrambled eggs! So? Why do so many LV buffets do such a vile job of it? :(
     
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  18. BlacklabberMike

    BlacklabberMike MIA

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    probably because they have to sit there in those vats.....
    i've had the omelette station guy make me fresh scrambled eggs... left him a tip.
    who says they have to make an omelette? am i right(mr pappagorgio voice)
     
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  19. Breeze147

    Breeze147 Button Man

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    Q: What did one butt cheek say to the other?

    A: "Together, we can stop this s**t."
     
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  20. oghuman

    oghuman VIP Whale

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    WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE ...
    Worn once by mistake.
    Call Stephanie

    FOR SALE BY OWNER.

    Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
    Excellent condition, $200 or best offer No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.
     
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