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Bad joke of the day

Discussion in 'Non-Vegas Chat' started by wormhole, Jul 14, 2016.

Page 5 of 130
  1. eaglejohn

    eaglejohn VIP Whale

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    Misprint Ad in Real Estate section of paper. " 4 bedroom house in lovely area, also comes with a huge attached dick"
     
    eaglejohn, Sep 10, 2016
    #81
    • Informative Informative x 1
  2. Electroguy563

    Electroguy563 Over-Fried Gambler

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    Why did the Chicken cross the road?

    The light turned green and the walk signal came on.

    Ha Ha!

    Ha......

    Ha.:p

    I'll come back tomorrow with another bad joke of the day.
     
    Electroguy563, Sep 10, 2016
    #82
  3. wormhole

    wormhole VIP Whale

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    How do you make a hormone?

    Don't pay her.
     
    wormhole, Sep 10, 2016
    #83
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  4. Breeze147

    Breeze147 Button Man

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    Man with hole in pocket feel a little cocky all day.
     
    Breeze147, Sep 10, 2016
    #84
    • Funny Funny x 1
  5. makikiboy

    makikiboy VIP Whale

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    Little change on Breeze's comment.

    Confucius say that man with hand in pocket with hole feel nuts.
     
    makikiboy, Sep 12, 2016
    #85
    • Funny Funny x 1
  6. Ty

    Ty ?

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    Hit her in the stomach.
     
    Ty, Sep 12, 2016
    #86
  7. zenvegas

    zenvegas High-Roller

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    Someone should ask Sonia to make this a sticky.
     
    zenvegas, Sep 12, 2016
    #87
  8. wormhole

    wormhole VIP Whale

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    Cpnfucious say man who flies upside down has crack up.
     
    wormhole, Sep 12, 2016
    #88
    • Funny Funny x 1
  9. wormhole

    wormhole VIP Whale

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    What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

    You can unscrew a light bulb.
     
    wormhole, Sep 13, 2016
    #89
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  10. Richard Alpert

    Richard Alpert LOST

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    When's the best time to see a dentist?

    Before tooth-hurty! :D
     
    Richard Alpert, Sep 13, 2016
    #90
  11. Richard Alpert

    Richard Alpert LOST

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    I can only imagine the HOA fees on that place!
     
    Richard Alpert, Sep 13, 2016
    #91
  12. Richard Alpert

    Richard Alpert LOST

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    He who drinks and throws away all tools except pair of metal mallets may just be two hammered.
     
    Richard Alpert, Sep 13, 2016
    #92
  13. chitownjohn

    chitownjohn High-Roller

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    I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
     
    chitownjohn, Sep 15, 2016
    #93
    • Funny Funny x 1
  14. chitownjohn

    chitownjohn High-Roller

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    My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
     
    chitownjohn, Sep 15, 2016
    #94
    • Like Like x 4
    • Funny Funny x 1
  15. dmr

    dmr Registered Abuser

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    If a sheep is called a ram, and a donkey is called an ass, why is a ram in the ass called a goose?

    (Okay, I'll shut up!)
     
    dmr, Sep 15, 2016
    #95
  16. LV_Bound

    LV_Bound VIP Whale

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    Why was 6 afraid of 7?
    Because 7 8 9.
     
    LV_Bound, Sep 17, 2016
    #96
    • Like Like x 1
  17. Richard Alpert

    Richard Alpert LOST

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    The Minnesota Twins season. That's a joke in and of itself!

    I'm going next Sunday to potentially witness the Twins' 100th loss--or something close to that. (Really, I'm going for a good time with buddies and a load of complimentary food.)

    I will also be going with notes of jokes from this thread to share while we're dining--and maybe watching some baseball!

    So, thanks for the bad jokes, everyone!!!

    RICHARD
     
    Richard Alpert, Sep 17, 2016
    #97
  18. saintpauljeff

    saintpauljeff VIP Whale

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    Will be there on Thurs, thankfully in the Legends Club
     
    saintpauljeff, Sep 17, 2016
    #98
    • Like Like x 1
  19. wormhole

    wormhole VIP Whale

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    You know it is going to be a bad day when you jump out of bed in the morning and you miss the floor.
     
    wormhole, Sep 17, 2016
    #99
    • Like Like x 2
  20. Richard Alpert

    Richard Alpert LOST

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    A man rounded a city corner one day to find a man in a trench coat jumping up and down on a manhole cover exclaiming, “Twenty-one! Twenty-one! Twenty-one!”

    As the first man walked closer to the jumping man he became intrigued by the repeated chanting and the smile on the jumping man’s face.

    “Are you having fun there, mister?”

    “Yes. Want to try?” asked the jumper.

    “Sure do!”

    The jumping man stopped jumping and stepped aside.

    The other man stepped over to the manhole cover and began jumping.

    The man in the trench coat smiled and nodded as he watched the newcomer continue to jump and chant, “Twenty-one! Twenty-one! Twenty-waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

    The man in the coat then returned the cover to the manhole, stood on it, and began jumping while exclaiming, “Twenty-two! Twenty-two! Twenty-two!” :D


    RICHARD
     
    Richard Alpert, Sep 18, 2016
    #100
    • Funny Funny x 3
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