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Bad joke of the day 2020

Discussion in 'Non-Vegas Chat' started by wormhole, Jul 14, 2016.

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  1. VegasBabyVegas!

    VegasBabyVegas! Tourist

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    Why was six afraid of seven?

    Because seven ate nine!

    You know you love that joke.
     
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  2. Richard Alpert

    Richard Alpert LOST

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    A joke I can definitely count on! Thanks! :thumbsup:

    RICHARD
     
  3. dmr

    dmr Registered Abuser

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    This is not a joke.

    Back when I worked for the hospital we had an OB/GYN on the attending staff named Dr. Beavers. No, I am NOT making this up. Dennis Beavers, google him. :)

    We also had a (long retired) children's dentist named Dr. Huerter. :)
     
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  4. wormhole

    wormhole VIP Whale

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    Austria got Hungary and fried Turkey in Greece.
     
  5. LV_Bound

    LV_Bound VIP Whale

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    Guy gets a prostitute and is having oral sex with her.
    As he is performing his act, he spits out a piece of corn.
    He continues on and soon spits out a bean.
    A bit confused he continues on and soon after spits out a piece of beef.
    At this time the guy lifts his head up and asks the prostitute if she is sick or something to which she replies "No, but the guy before you was."
     
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  6. mescalita

    mescalita old and in the way...

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    Also not a joke - the doctor who performed my vasectomy many years ago is named Richard Chopp....
     
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  7. vegasdev

    vegasdev VIP Whale

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    :vomit:
     
  8. Richard Alpert

    Richard Alpert LOST

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    Years ago our local Country Kitchen restaurant burned down.
    The good news is that it instantly became Embers!

    RICHARD
     
  9. Breeze147

    Breeze147 Button Man

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    For real, just outside of Philadelphia there was an all girls college called Beaver College.

    http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=94962&page=1
     
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  10. eaglejohn

    eaglejohn VIP Whale

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    And a dr. I had at the VA was Dr. Paine
     
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  11. alanleroy

    alanleroy Click my avatar

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    A salted peanut.
    [​IMG]
     
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  12. Richard Alpert

    Richard Alpert LOST

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    Did Dennis Beavers conduct the entrance exams? :D

    RICHARD
     
  13. eaglejohn

    eaglejohn VIP Whale

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  14. Richard Alpert

    Richard Alpert LOST

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    I suspect a pretzel did it!
    They're twisted like that!

    SNACK LIVES MATTER!

    RICHARD
     
  15. Richard Alpert

    Richard Alpert LOST

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  16. La$Vega$

    La$Vega$ Fun until cops show up, then we play Hide n' Seek!

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    Are there Mexican Jews?

    Two old Jewish men, Sid and Al, are sitting in a Mexican restaurant one day.
    Sid asks Al, 'Do you know of any people of our faith born and raised in Mexico?'

    Al replies, 'I don't know, let's ask our waiter.'

    When the waiter arrives, Al asks, 'Are there any Mexican Jews?'

    The waiter says, 'I don't know senor, I ask the cooks.
    'He returns from the kitchen after a few minutes and says,

    'No senor, the cook say no Mexican Jews.'

    Al isn't satisfied and asks, 'Are you absolutely sure?'

    The waiter, realizing he is dealing with 'Gringos' replies,
    'I check once again, senor,' and goes back into the kitchen.

    While the waiter is away, Sid says, 'I find it hard to believe that there are no Jews in Mexico.
    Our people are scattered everywhere.'

    The waiter returns and says, 'Senor, the head cook Manuel, he say there is no Mexican Jews.'

    'Are you certain?' Al asks again. 'I just can't believe there are no Mexican Jews!'

    'Senor, I ask EVERYONE,' replies the exasperated waiter.
    'All we have is Orange Jews, Grape Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews, and Apple Jews, but no Mexican Jews.
     
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  17. dmr

    dmr Registered Abuser

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    At a Hebrew day school, the instructor noticed that little Irving was daydreaming and looking off into space as a lesson on the Christian Easter was given.

    "Irving, would you please come to the front and explain what Christians believe about Easter?"

    Irving reluctantly stepped to the front of the classroom.

    "Well, it's like this.

    Jesus was sent to court and sentenced to death.

    On Good Friday he was executed.

    Two days later he woke up.

    Got up, went outside.

    Then he saw his shadow and went back inside and they had more winter."
     
  18. zenvegas

    zenvegas High-Roller

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    An old lady is wandering through an old folks home. She is wearing nothing but a trench coat with nothing on underneath. She goes into the rooms of single old men.
    Once there, she opens the trench coat to reveal herself and says "Super Pussy" She does this over and over again.
    Finally, she gets to another old man's room. She undoes her trench coat and says "Super Pussy".
    The old man thinks about it for a minute and says...

    "I'll have the soup."
     
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  19. Richard Alpert

    Richard Alpert LOST

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    I just shared this with my BIL. He's a dietician at a local retirement home and extended care unit.
    When I shared the last line of the joke he dropped his phone and he was laughing so hard...:D

    Great joke, zenvegas! :thumbsup:

    RICHARD
     
  20. dmr

    dmr Registered Abuser

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    Two relatively new {fill in appropriate socio-ethnic or hair color group here} airline pilots were attempting a landing in very stormy weather at an unfamiliar airport.

    After circling for an hour or so, the weather let up just enough so they could try a landing.

    Okay, we're going in!
    Roger
    Airspeed?
    Check!
    Flaps?
    Check!
    Landing lights?
    Check!
    Glide slope?
    Check!

    The plane descended through the clouds and finally screeched to a halt just inches from the end of the runway pavement.

    "Wow, that's the shortest runway I've ever seen!"
    "Yeah, gotta be the widest one too!"
     
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