1. Welcome to VegasMessageBoard
    It appears you are visiting our community as a guest.
    In order to view full-size images, participate in discussions, vote in polls, etc, you will need to Log in or Register.

Bad joke of the day - 2022

Discussion in 'Non-Vegas Chat' started by wormhole, Jul 14, 2016.

  1. wormhole

    wormhole VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2010
    Messages:
    1,460
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    16
    All the organs of the body were having a meeting trying to decide who was the one in charge.

    "I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

    "I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."

    "I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy."

    "I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."

    "I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes."

    "I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."

    All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him,
    So in a huff, he shut down tight.
    Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache .
    The stomach was bloated,
    The legs got wobbly,
    The eyes got watery,
    And the blood was toxic.
    They all decided that the rectum should be the boss

    The Moral of the story?
    Even though the others do all the work..
    The ass hole is usually in charge.
     
    • Funny Funny x 4
  2. Sonya

    Sonya Queen of VMB

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 1999
    Messages:
    41,311
    Location:
    Western Washington
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    25
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2022
  3. gadgets19

    gadgets19 High-Roller

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2015
    Messages:
    964
    Location:
    Alberta
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    15
    upload_2022-1-2_12-24-59.png
     
    • Funny Funny x 6
    • Like Like x 1
  4. gs32794

    gs32794 VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2017
    Messages:
    1,778
    Location:
    SW Va.
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    20
    Screenshot_20220104-181033_Chrome.jpg
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
    • Informative Informative x 1
  5. Valgal

    Valgal VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2014
    Messages:
    4,969
    Location:
    South
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    20
    69A7C2D6-04AE-4C25-B197-6ABCE54E3379.jpeg 042B8BF9-ABB5-49CB-BEB7-3AB75F5D13CE.jpeg 2CDCA6E6-5459-4580-9CA7-592A933704C5.jpeg
     
    • Like Like x 6
    • Agree Agree x 4
    • Funny Funny x 1
  6. Valgal

    Valgal VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2014
    Messages:
    4,969
    Location:
    South
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    20
    Not a joke but someone texted me this a few weeks ago. Apparently we messaged each other on tinder??? I so wanted to text back and make a date. I think he was in NYC according to where it came from.

    185BFE6A-E2D3-4CEC-9874-B4630282A518.jpeg
     
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2022
    • Wow! Wow! x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  7. Valgal

    Valgal VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2014
    Messages:
    4,969
    Location:
    South
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    20
    282A8DE5-12F7-47E6-8DE2-21ADAFABABCD.jpeg
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
  8. bubbakitty

    bubbakitty Doing retirement again and happily so....

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2003
    Messages:
    14,113
    Location:
    Texas
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    65
    Hummm or whistle along…… 1722BC78-A1D8-4A98-B859-B17FF8DDF85C.jpeg
     
    • Like Like x 4
    • Funny Funny x 1
  9. gs32794

    gs32794 VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2017
    Messages:
    1,778
    Location:
    SW Va.
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    20
    Had a job as a drill press operator. It was boring.
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
  10. GamblingGolfer

    GamblingGolfer VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2011
    Messages:
    1,387
    Location:
    Vancouver, BC
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    40
    Should that be Andy or Jim whistling? .... lol

    GG
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  11. gadgets19

    gadgets19 High-Roller

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2015
    Messages:
    964
    Location:
    Alberta
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    15
    upload_2022-1-6_23-20-3.jpeg
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
    • Like Like x 1
  12. Valgal

    Valgal VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2014
    Messages:
    4,969
    Location:
    South
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    20
    342F5040-E3DA-4092-901E-4199EE944B3E.jpeg
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
    • Like Like x 2
  13. The Stig

    The Stig VIP Whale

    Joined:
    May 28, 2009
    Messages:
    2,629
    Location:
    Lancashire, UK
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    30
    [​IMG]
     
    • Love Love x 1
  14. gs32794

    gs32794 VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2017
    Messages:
    1,778
    Location:
    SW Va.
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    20
    First fahrvergnugen, now this. :D FB_IMG_1641761751458.jpg
     
    • Funny Funny x 6
  15. bubbakitty

    bubbakitty Doing retirement again and happily so....

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2003
    Messages:
    14,113
    Location:
    Texas
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    65
    I can attest; FE34E318-7C6B-4E17-A518-268245A39E16.jpeg
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 2
  16. booker

    booker VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2009
    Messages:
    3,395
    Location:
    Coast of Washington State
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    75
    @bubbakitty, for Christmas I requested and received a couple of magnifying glasses.
     
  17. bubbakitty

    bubbakitty Doing retirement again and happily so....

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2003
    Messages:
    14,113
    Location:
    Texas
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    65
    We have about four already. Two with handles like Sherlock Holmes :hmmm:
     
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2022
    • Funny Funny x 2
  18. dmr

    dmr Registered Abuser

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2011
    Messages:
    18,207
    Location:
    Somewhere in Middle America
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    70
    Q: Why couldn't the green pepper play in the archery tournament?

    ...
    ...
    ...

    A: He didn't habanero.

    (Where is that *GROAN* icon?)
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
  19. booker

    booker VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2009
    Messages:
    3,395
    Location:
    Coast of Washington State
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    75
    Screen Shot 2022-01-12 at 7.46.26 PM.png
     
    • Like Like x 1
  20. gadgets19

    gadgets19 High-Roller

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2015
    Messages:
    964
    Location:
    Alberta
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    15
    upload_2022-1-12_22-14-18.jpeg
     
    • Funny Funny x 4
    • Like Like x 2