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Bad joke of the day - 2021

Discussion in 'Non-Vegas Chat' started by wormhole, Jul 14, 2016.

  1. gadgets19

    gadgets19 High-Roller

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    upload_2021-1-12_23-52-29.png
     
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  2. Valgal

    Valgal VIP Whale

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    I apologize if a Jesus joke offends anyone. I still haven’t forgot how pissed off a few became when I disparaged Steven Tyler a couple of years ago.

    114315C7-1639-4B43-AC80-ED44EC6B7BBB.jpeg
     
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  3. gs32794

    gs32794 VIP Whale

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    Just watched an excellent documentary about beavers. In fact, it was the best dam movie i ever saw...
     
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  4. GeorgeandTheBear

    GeorgeandTheBear High-Roller

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    dream.jpg
     
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  5. Valgal

    Valgal VIP Whale

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    Screenshot 2021-01-16 at 8.58.04 AM.png
     
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  6. booker

    booker VIP Whale

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  7. GeorgeandTheBear

    GeorgeandTheBear High-Roller

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    Why is there no pregnant Barbie?

    Because Ken came in another box.
     
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  8. bubbakitty

    bubbakitty Doing retirement again and happily so....

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    521C340F-420E-44A0-B27F-47549B30F654.jpeg :nono:
     
    Final trip of 2021 —- ho-ho-ho
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  9. dmr

    dmr Registered Abuser

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    Does Barbie come with Ken?

    No, she fakes it with Ken. She comes with GI Joe! :)
     
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  10. KnowItAll

    KnowItAll VIP Whale

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  11. gs32794

    gs32794 VIP Whale

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  12. KnowItAll

    KnowItAll VIP Whale

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    9C848F85-32FC-469A-8739-FDE992DA571F.jpeg
     
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  13. gadgets19

    gadgets19 High-Roller

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  14. KnowItAll

    KnowItAll VIP Whale

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    upload_2021-1-19_19-48-55.png
     
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  15. gs32794

    gs32794 VIP Whale

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  16. El Jugador

    El Jugador Low-Roller

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    Time is like a river. You cannot touch the water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life.

    As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Nova Scotia backcountry.

    As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions.

    I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late.

    I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place.

    I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play. The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before, for this homeless man.

    And as I played "Amazing Grace", the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together.

    When I finished, I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head was hung low, my heart was full. As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen anything like that before, and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”

    Apparently, I'm still lost … it's a man thing.
     
    Family Christmas Trip
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  17. dmr

    dmr Registered Abuser

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    Lost? Have you tried Hare Krishna?
     
  18. El Jugador

    El Jugador Low-Roller

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    Yes, I've had a Hairy Krishna before....:poke:
     
    Family Christmas Trip
  19. SteveO

    SteveO Low-Roller

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  20. gs32794

    gs32794 VIP Whale

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