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Bad joke of the day - 2021

Discussion in 'Non-Vegas Chat' started by wormhole, Jul 14, 2016.

  1. wormhole

    wormhole VIP Whale

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    All the organs of the body were having a meeting trying to decide who was the one in charge.

    "I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

    "I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."

    "I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy."

    "I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."

    "I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes."

    "I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."

    All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him,
    So in a huff, he shut down tight.
    Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache .
    The stomach was bloated,
    The legs got wobbly,
    The eyes got watery,
    And the blood was toxic.
    They all decided that the rectum should be the boss

    The Moral of the story?
    Even though the others do all the work..
    The ass hole is usually in charge.
     
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  2. Sonya

    Sonya Queen of VMB

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  3. dmr

    dmr Registered Abuser

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    [​IMG]
     
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  4. bluesdude

    bluesdude VIP Whale

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    I remember those.... :D
     
  5. booker

    booker VIP Whale

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    I have typed and filed thousands of those cards. AACR2 (Anglo-American Cataloguing Rules) and Sears List of Subject Headings were gold standard references. In college we were given various books which we were to assign classification numbers and subject headings. Man, that was one tough course with a LOT of homework.
     
  6. mdee

    mdee VIP Whale

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  7. GeorgeandTheBear

    GeorgeandTheBear High-Roller

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    loraine.jpg
     
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  8. gadgets19

    gadgets19 High-Roller

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    upload_2021-1-5_20-22-14.png
     
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  9. icopus

    icopus Tourist

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    I don't like my gastroenterologist. He has got up my butt for the last time.
     
  10. dmr

    dmr Registered Abuser

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    Quite a few of you probably won't appreciate this, but I think it's funny. :)

    Everyone who has done 3d printing has failed prints every so often. Usually what you get are blobs of goo and random shaped plastic bits, but every so often one is spectacular, amusing, and yes, even funny, like this one which appeared on the boards today.

    [​IMG]
     
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  11. KnowItAll

    KnowItAll VIP Whale

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    A blonde woman is standing near the entry way of a Las Vegas casino at a Coke machine. She puts in a dollar, hits the button, gets a Coke…puts in a dollar, hits the button, gets a Coke…puts in a dollar, hits the button, gets a Coke. A man interrupts and says, “Excuse me ma'am, can I get in there and get a Coke?” to which she responds, “no, excuse ME asshole, can’t you see I’m winning?!?!”
     
  12. SteveO

    SteveO Low-Roller

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    I am no longer impressed that Nicholas Cage was able to steal the Declaration of Independence.
     
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  13. dmr

    dmr Registered Abuser

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    Kinda like saying that the casino ATM has over 98% payback on a $400 withdrawal!
     
  14. gadgets19

    gadgets19 High-Roller

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    My boss is a huge Firefly fan. Only those familiar with show will get this.

    How do Reavers clean their harpoons?

    They run them through the Wash.
     
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  15. mescalita

    mescalita old and in the way...

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    I saw what you did there...
     
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  16. gs32794

    gs32794 VIP Whale

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    FB_IMG_1610286975692.jpg
     
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  17. gadgets19

    gadgets19 High-Roller

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    upload_2021-1-10_13-3-49.png
     
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  18. jamesxnj

    jamesxnj VIP Whale

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    I saw a funny little bumper sticker today that said 'My driving scares the fuck out of me too'
     
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  19. EastCoastVegasFan!

    EastCoastVegasFan! VIP Whale

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  20. bubbakitty

    bubbakitty Doing retirement again and happily so....

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